What is the appropriate age for getting married?

format_quote Originally Posted by Karl

How do you know what they want? I'm getting really tired with people trying to turn Islam into a Zionist politically correct UN approved religion. Look the Zionists want to destroy Islam, they don't really care about child marriage as you may think, as they are always killing children anyway. The fact is, there is no age of marriage in Islam or any of the other major religions out there. Secularists have infiltrated and have destroyed the other religions and now they are working on Islam.
If you can't hold on to the tenets of Islam and you bend to the demands of the unbelievers then Islam will fall. Iblis wins the wager.

Assalaamu alaikum Karl,


You seem to feel very strongly on this topic.


But I'm wondering if perhaps you aren't mixing different things.


I certainly applaud your anger at the injustices faced by many of the children of the world. And it is a valid point that there are those in our world who would like to weaken Islam. And that Iblis would like to see us fail (I don't think it's a wager, you know), is a definite truth.


It is also true that in many societies of the past (and some today), marriages were arranged between parents when the children were even infants in their cradles. The girls could be sent to live with their future in-laws at an early age, to be raised by her future mother-in-law. This was not an Islamic practice.This was a practice in many places.


The thing that was brought with the Prophet (PBUH) was the idea that the girl had a choice. Sure, she could be sent to live with her future in-laws, but the marriage was not actual. The girl had to be able to accept. And in order to do this, she had to have rushd. That is, have the maturity of mind to make an informed decision.


What is the age of rushd? Well, she had to at least be physically mature. Depending on the complexity of her society, and the level of understanding of the young woman, the marriage might not be able to be consummated for a while after her physical maturity. And if she refused, it wouldn't be consummated at all. At least, not if the Islamic requirements were to be met.


When you call for the marriage of prepubescent girls, you may also want to take into account the possibility that if she refuses the marriage when she has her rushd, that this may be damaging to the girl's future marital options. She may be seen as possibly damaged goods. I have actually known of this sort of circumstance. (smile) Someone even offered that my 2 year-old daughter be fiancéed to her grandson, and come to live with her when she was 11 or 12. To be properly trained (not for sexual relations), until the actual wedding.


I understand that you feel that Islam is under attack (because, well, it is), but please consider that your words may be misunderstood and further the cause of those who seek to discredit Islam.


May Allah Guide us all.

format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto

Karl, there are other members who want to share their thought about appropriate age for getting married. So, don't make admin decide to close this thread because it turn into discussion about child marriage. Okay?.

I'm not actually getting "off topic" here anyway. As much as what I may say might be jarring to the misandrist politically correct enemies of Islam, what I am talking about IS on topic. It is a thread asking for opinions of what time is best to get married, so my replies are in keeping with that. The fact that I deem it ideal practice for my own daughters to marry in prepubescence does NOT take it "off topic" at all. But anyway, I will minimize my contribution if that's what you wish, provided of course you quit "correcting" and lecturing me how I should raise my own progeny. I alone as their father shall do that. It is NOT up to you to play part in my parenting because my offspring are simply none of your business to begin with. Remember, what might be appropriate for your offspring won't necessarily be appropriate for mine, especially for the fact that we are not even the same race. Even if I were to hypothetically and sycophantically agree with you to marry my daughters off as full grown adults that would still mean them marrying at age 12 anyway as that is the age at which my race is fully grown. Those of your race at that same age look only of the approximate development of 4 year olds of my race. That's why it is impossible that "one size can fit all". I bet you would not take kindly if I tried to tell you how to raise you own offspring so please have some decency and stop doing it to me. You employ the phrase "sexual object" and "marital rape", very typically feminist anti-Islamic expressions I shall remind you. Your arrogance assumes my daughters "don't want to be married off and become sexual object" (to quote your earlier post). Well for your information, you have that dead wrong. My daughters have no problem with being "sexual objects", but I as their father will NOT have them indulging in any sexual activity UNLESS they are married first. Because they are sexual beings in prepubescence I believe it of utmost importance that they marry as early as possible so that zina is avoided. The longer marriage is delayed, the more likely zina will occur. Over and out.

format_quote Originally Posted by Karl

There is no age of marriage in Islam. And while it is not compulsory to marry off prepubescent girls by Islamic law, it is still good for girls of my race, therefore I will continue to marry my prepubescent girls off and I don't care at all what the enemies of Islam say or think.

A person cannot be married off without his or her consent. A prepubescent child cannot understand marital matters and so is not in the position to give consent. They don't understand what they are consenting to. Hence, such children cannot be married. The child would have to be at least 15 (in most cases older) to understand marriage and be able to give their consent. Marriage without consent is invalid according to hadith.

brothers and sisters,

As per brother Muhammad's earlier request, this thread is about the age that most people generally would think about getting married. It is not about pre-pubertal marriage, or specific exceptions to what happens generally, which we now know about. If this thread continues in this vein, then unfortunately it may have to be closed. Please no more posts on pre-pubertal marriage, nor any replies to posts on the topic. We will be keeping an eye on it.

And so, back to the topic.

Allah does not give any specific age for the man and woman to marry, therefore how can we.

Is there a set age for marriage in Islam? - islamqa.info

format_quote Originally Posted by ShyFerdousi

No offense but I think fasting doesn't always help avoiding that kind of emotions. I often keep fast and it's a great feeling but in that case, it doesn't always work for me. Or maybe I'm not keeping the principle of fasting properly? :confused:

If Allahs messenger said fasting diminishes the desire then there is no doubt about it.

Allaah’s Messenger said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." Bukhari:5066.

What we eat and how we eat is important. Just some tips

1. Eat moderately - when keeping and opening your fast.

2. Try to avoid foods like honey, meat, mangos, figs, dates, chicken, cinnamon, olive oil, turmeric, eggs, fish because these foods increase the desire.

3. Increase foods like salads, yogurt, lentils, milk, cheese, bananas, cucumbers, watermelon, water, etc because these foods keep u cool.

4. Staying active

5. Avoid reading, watching etc anything which brings on these desires.

format_quote Originally Posted by Insaanah

brothers and sisters,

As per brother Muhammad's earlier request, this thread is about the age that most people generally would think about getting married. It is not about pre-pubertal marriage, or specific exceptions to what happens generally, which we now know about. If this thread continues in this vein, then unfortunately it may have to be closed. Please no more posts on pre-pubertal marriage, nor any replies to posts on the topic. We will be keeping an eye on it.

And so, back to the topic.

Ok, I for one will make an effort to do that for you. After my initial short single reply to this thread I would have not at all been troubled to see it continue back to a more politically correct level of discussion, but unfortunately it seems that there are some who feel not content enough to make only their own personal contribution without also feeling the need to make needless attacks on my post and lecture me on how to parent my own offspring, which to be frank I think is highly audacious and rude.

Also to clarify things here, I presume that as well as avoiding discussion about actual prepubertal marriages you are also meaning to include marriages that are considered "too young" or "under age" by the arbitrary standards of the modern day secularist West? It is important to note that prepubertal and "under age" are far from being the same and one. So, discussion to be avoided in this thread would therefore include not just prepubertals but those who are of any lunar age under the West's Magical Age (i.e. 18). Any recommendations for marriage under the West's Magic Age is to be avoided as much as possible in this thread. Is that really more specifically it? Thank you.

format_quote Originally Posted by Karl

without also feeling the need to make needless attacks on my post and lecture me on how to parent my own offspring, which to be frank I think is highly audacious and rude.

There is no harm in advising each other about good parenting.

Any recommendations for marriage under the West's Magic Age is to be avoided as much as possible in this thread. Is that really more specifically it? Thank you.

What is to be avoided is this needless arguing. I don't recall anyone mentioning a 'magic age', so I think that assumption is wrong.