Marriage Is Declining Rapidly—Does It Matter?

**xboxisdead** · 03-21-2018

I read this week that there has been a significant decline in marriage rates, especially in the past two years.
57% of adults got married ten years ago, but only 51% are getting married now.

Last year, only 9% of 18-to-24 year olds in the U.S. were married, compared to 45% in 1960.

And the Pew Research Center reports that from 2009 to 2010, 13 percent fewer people in this age group got married. (Christian Science Monitor, January 2 & 9, 2012)

In 2011, The Economist (June 23rd issue) reported that only 45% of all households include a married couple, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

We are seeing a rapid decline.

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So what’s the big deal, you say? Couples are just living together instead of getting married.
Hey, I’m no prude. I did that myself before I got married.

But the studies show that the problem is the big impact on the kids – and on long-term economics.

The National Marriage Project at Rutgers University in New Jersey reported in 2005 (USA Today, July 18, 2005) that cohabiting couples break up at twice the rate of married couples in the U.S. and that 40% of cohabiting couples have children – who get to share these more rapid breakups. In Europe, cohabitation rates are even higher, although divorce rates are lower and more children grow up with both parents – even when they’re not married.

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When I started practicing family law in 1993, the average age of a child when parents divorced was about 8 years old. The average age of a child when unmarried parents split was about 4 years old. As high-conflict divorce appears to be increasing, the age of children growing up in conflicted arrangements also appears to be getting younger and younger.

So what are the implications of all of this?

Children have less stability and more exposure to parents in conflict or loss of contact with one parent. It’s not surprising that the research on the development of personality disorders suggests that each younger generation has a higher incidence of these disorders.

In our book “Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” Randi Kreger and I explained that about ten percent of the U.S. population has a borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, but about 15% of young adults age 20 to 29 have one of these disorders. One of the causes is instability in early childhood. You need stability to develop confidence, relationship skills and the ability to cope throughout your life.

The other major implication – for adults as well as children – is that unmarried folks are poorer.

Researchers indicate that at least half of income inequality in the U.S. is due to this changing pattern. Households with only one parent (who mostly have only a high school education) are getting poorer and married household (mostly with college education and two incomes) are growing more well-to-do, according to The Economist (June 23, 2011).

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In the 1960’s, 76% of college graduates were married and 72% of high school graduates got married. Nowadays, the census shows that woman who get married are much more likely to have a college degree than just fifteen years ago. For women with college education, only 6% of babies have unmarried mothers, whereas 44% of babies of high school graduates have unmarried mothers. (The Economist, above)

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For society, the message seems to be that marriage does matter – economically and to the well-being of children.
If we care about our collective future, we need to care about the stability of family life – including making relationship skills an important part of education.

For individuals, the message seems to be that you should seriously plan on getting married someday, for your own economic good as well as your child.

And if no reasonable prospects are handy, it may be a good time to start taking some college classes – that is, if our nation’s economic priorities will make it affordable.

This article by Bill Eddy originally appeared on HighConflictInstitute.com. Bill is the President of the High Conflict Institute and the author of several books, including “It’s All Your Fault!” He is an attorney, mediator, and therapist. HCI speakers have presented seminars to attorneys, judges, mediators, ombudspersons, human resource professionals, employee assistance professionals, managers, and administrators in over 25 states, several provinces in Canada, France, Australia and Sweden.

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https://www.refinery29.com/2017/01/1...ica-statistics

We've been told for decades now that half of all marriages end in divorce — and that it's only getting worse. But, as is the case with most "facts" that get repeated (and repeated and repeated), that's not quite true. And it turns out that divorce rates are actually falling, not rising.

Yep, researchers have found that the rate of divorce in the U.S. actually peaked at about 40% around 1980 and has been declining ever since. And, according to data from the National Survey of Family Growth, the probability of a first marriage lasting at least a decade was 68% for women and 70% for men between 2006 and 2010. The probability that they would make it 20 years was 52% for women and 56% for men, so that percentage is closer to the frequently-cited "half," but still not there.

Other estimates show that three-quarters of those married in the 1990s would make it at least 15 years (compared with just 65% of those married in the 1980s). And if that current trend continues, the vast majority (about two-thirds) of marriages will never divorce.

So how did we even get that half-n-half stat to begin with? Well, we can trace that original claim — that the divorce rate is at 50% and climbing — back to a 1980 census report. That report predicted that half of the couples married between 1976 and 1977 would eventually end up divorced and that rates would only increase from there.

But it's clear that things haven't really played out that way. And today, our picture of divorce is much more complicated — it's one that changes based on your education level, income, location, and a whole bunch of other factors. Plus, of course, your decision to divorce (and get married in the first place) is an incredibly complex and personal one.

All of this means that no single percentage is ever going to apply to everyone. Ahead, we've collected a few of those factors that can increase — and lower — your chances of divorce.

**xboxisdead** · 03-23-2018

Originally Posted by Umme salma

from a personal understanding we need to reach the root, in my own experience, if islam was implemented with the nature to be caring, considerate, fair, and culture was sustained through these principals the muslim countries wouldnt be effected, because rights are not correctly distributed between two individuals, the selfish of the partners either make it very difficult for the other partner, to deal with injustice, (so now having more freedom to exercise their right of not accepting ill treatment) or the selfish partners are the ones that leaving the marriages without trying to resolve their own contribution of a failed marriage .... so this is where we as muslims need to firstly ponder.. it is us as people, who we are, and what we are like, what principals do we hold, how committed and loyal we are, what do we understand by mutual respect..... we need to understand who we have become.
Also have to take into consideration such factors that in the past women were not given the right to exercise thier rights, because it was and is mainly a male dominated world, even if the usa, there isnt really a fair dealing with gender equality, .. or real equality between the genders.. it likes to project or claim it is, but it isnt.. As women sadly are openly used as sex objects... still women being slaves to the male fantasy... there is definitely alot of conflicts and pushed agendas to break the unit of a family.... so maybe this is where we need to look more closely at... some people have made islam difficult and have made it male dominated also.. due to the disposition of the soul, if a man is inclined towards fairness, his outlook would include educating and bringing fairness in all aspects of life and having that 'awareness'.. but if a man has ill intentions, he will use the religion/or any system to manipulate and exercise what his corrupted soul is inclined towards.. really comes down to how do we again become people of balance, understanding, caring, empathic etc..
While women now have more freedom to request their rights,( not that she didnt have rights, she had always by Divine law, but humans have abused and misused them.. ) recognising her rights she is now, not accepting,(and im not talking about women who are abusing also her role) the treatment they had to endure in the past....which is one of the reasons that divorces are high.. the universe will have to balance, in order to balance there has to be imbalance.... men have for millenniums had more than their rights over their women folk in general.. it didnt serve women and their ability to perform to their optimum, be as a daughter, wife, professional/offical role... they now are forcefully requesting the entitlement and because of this it will effect the man, because he isnt and hasnt been used to this new trend... it is still a new thing.. women are exploring their rights, and yes they will make mistakes and blunders, as have man for many centuries... so i say here some patience now while working all these new dynamics from the men folk.. we talk about islam, but in reality how many people have fair hearts.. ? who think about themselves more than another... maybe programmes about how to support eachothers growth, how to encouraged a healthy 'breed' into the next generations is the way... one that understands that irrelevant if your are a man or a woman that both deserve equal treatment... and ONe is not better than the other, while ONe does have a little more authority, enforced on man to be a responsible asset in the relationship as a protector and maintainer.. which also sadly is down played very poorly..
Agree with the of the members, about building up our children to care, learn to be supportive individuals.. compassionate people, which includes young men so they can become responsible in their roles as well as young ladies who understand the importance of family.. we do need to look at what type of people have we become.... we are obviously doing something wrong.. and that wrong needs to be openly and fairly discussed.. many dont want to marry, as they are discouraged, already afraid to take the step. some can not afford marriages because sadly people have made marriage far too expensive.. this is another reason why people are still in their 30s and not married.. there is more emphasis on what the person earns, his education background, and what material means he has... this is an imbalance in our thinking as people.. yes we do need income to live and create a more stable home, but doing so, the character of the person is not taken as seriously.. are we becoming too picky as a society..? or are we becoming weak in our characters.. so yes, the true islam, which hasn't the man made capacity, has the answers...but in reality the culture takes precidence.. we pray, fast, do hajj, the rituals are taken care off, and that is seen as religion.. which is only the practical but we are missing the essence of all that is, what we call life.. wisdom is missing, without it, it is just like a dried fruit.. we need to build our essence as people of thought, reason, justice and fairness.. until this isnt cooperated into our structure... we are going to continue to seeing the rise in divorce.. because we dont understand what it takes to be a human being let alone a believer..

What we also have a problem with, is that if female exercise her right it somehow means it must step on men's right and devalue the man's right. This feeling is embedded in the very bone of people for some reason. If a woman rises and she somehow do better than a man it means right there that "we don't need men" or "men are unnecessary" and the women get arrogant and say things like, "Ha! HA! See! We are better than you! We can do this and that and you can't handle us!"

Damn I feel like puking when I hear this. This childish, immature thinking make me wish to curse her and wish her highest punishment but I stop myself from doing such doah...and just shake my head. Why can't we work together and be the ying and yang that work in unity? Also we have this thinking, that when women advance she must step over his role and his role become marginalized and the worst part of it...proof we think there are no difference between the sexes and why did Allah give man rights over women and and and? Just so you know? THAT IS THE VERY THINKING of the West and why where are here. When women scream this over and over and over and compete against men and take over men, men opt out..refuse to get married, want nothing to do with marriage and we breed things like mgtow. Women get all arrogant, develop lesbian tendency, boys grow up confused and have no male role model.....girls grow up arrogant (remember if a person have an atom of arrogance...PARADISE IS FORBIDDEN! FORBIDDEN! I want you to ponder the meaning of forbidden for a second. Ponder it deep and hard), narcissistic, want to do it and and and and....you know sister when you mentioned women's right and her potential and...thoughts of here we go again. Feminist again. Women seeking to compete with men, etc. You know why? I hope you will have a better answer as "Because you man cannot handle a strong independent woman." That makes me vomit and further confirm my decision to live single as a happy man! I need you to see beyond the female thinking for a second and see why. If you got the right answer we can build from there and hopefully both men and women can have their rights 100% to build a happy society.

**cinnamonrolls1** · 03-23-2018

Im very confused as to whats going on here

**Misbah-Abd** · 03-23-2018

Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1

Im very confused as to whats going on here

It's has become a rant. No need to bother...

**Umme salma** · 03-25-2018

Salaams, hi, sorry if I've upset you, that wasn't my aim, but thank you for your honest feelings..I do agree that we do need each other and yes absolutely agree on the yin yang... I'm not a feminist.. but from being a woman and seeing the demise of women thriving to reach their fill potential sadly isn't a made up thing..it is a reality....personally I don't agree with the modern feminism thinking... and it's not at all about competing.. absolutely not..as you have rightly said that we are biologically different which does have an effect how a male may react to than a female..that's more due to also how we are effected by our environmental... I'm not at all offended... you have every right to express what you feel is unfair... because I do believe it's healing...to hear each other out... so thank you..and sorry if I've brought up some painful reactions, to give people an environment to speak freely is a must... I was also coming from experience, as a woman....what I was trying to explain and it looks I hadn't done it justice, is for the gender equality for. It to exist..... and that doesn't mean necesaarily the same job..but rather having the same opportunity..women like you have acknowledged have much to give society when she is allowed to grow...find herself and what she is about...society doesn't allow the same opportunities because she is seen she doesn't need too.... this is a reality I'm afraid.. irrelevant if we accept it or not...women know, because we are the ones dealing with such feelings.... it's not about the western ideology...it's a cultural one that effects many... I don't agree with the modern form of how freedom is portrayed....I agree with many of your points..but to help explain that now women are given more 'freedom' to express generally ...and they are exploring ....they will react a certain way because there has been a imbalance of how women have been treated in then past...so now I say to our CO counter partners/ brothers... just take in account what you're seeing is also another imbalance....once it's played out ... the balance will begin to understood by both parties.... sorry for including you in the ' you' men... this shouldn't be a reason to stay single because we find people have difference of thoughts from an experience ... as I come from mine, you come from yours..and by sharing we can appreciate another view...remember it's all about yin yang..

**xboxisdead** · 03-28-2018

Originally Posted by Umme salma

Salaams, hi, sorry if I've upset you, that wasn't my aim, but thank you for your honest feelings..I do agree that we do need each other and yes absolutely agree on the yin yang... I'm not a feminist.. but from being a woman and seeing the demise of women thriving to reach their fill potential sadly isn't a made up thing..it is a reality....personally I don't agree with the modern feminism thinking... and it's not at all about competing.. absolutely not..as you have rightly said that we are biologically different which does have an effect how a male may react to than a female..that's more due to also how we are effected by our environmental... I'm not at all offended... you have every right to express what you feel is unfair... because I do believe it's healing...to hear each other out... so thank you..and sorry if I've brought up some painful reactions, to give people an environment to speak freely is a must... I was also coming from experience, as a woman....what I was trying to explain and it looks I hadn't done it justice, is for the gender equality for. It to exist..... and that doesn't mean necesaarily the same job..but rather having the same opportunity..women like you have acknowledged have much to give society when she is allowed to grow...find herself and what she is about...society doesn't allow the same opportunities because she is seen she doesn't need too.... this is a reality I'm afraid.. irrelevant if we accept it or not...women know, because we are the ones dealing with such feelings.... it's not about the western ideology...it's a cultural one that effects many... I don't agree with the modern form of how freedom is portrayed....I agree with many of your points..but to help explain that now women are given more 'freedom' to express generally ...and they are exploring ....they will react a certain way because there has been a imbalance of how women have been treated in then past...so now I say to our CO counter partners/ brothers... just take in account what you're seeing is also another imbalance....once it's played out ... the balance will begin to understood by both parties.... sorry for including you in the ' you' men... this shouldn't be a reason to stay single because we find people have difference of thoughts from an experience ... as I come from mine, you come from yours..and by sharing we can appreciate another view...remember it's all about yin yang..

I agree sister. No question about it, I agree. I love Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) so much, Allah is just! Just! just! Just! Just! Just! Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) hates...hates....HATES injustice and hates oppression so much so that even for the disbelievers, his worst enemy...his worst enemy when Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) see them go through oppression or injustice he gives them their rights in this world and his merciful to them in this world (we know what will happen to them in the afterlife of course). But see how justice Allah is. He doesn't look at the person because of his gender or color, no..no no no. He is justice to even non-humans, to animals and ants to every creation he created he is justice to them. We need to stop...stop our ego...stop our pride.....and just take a deep breath and look at Prophet (peace be upon him) the best of all creation that Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) created and look at him at full example and follow his footstep. I swear, I swear...I swear by Allah that if we follow the footstep of Prophet (peace be upon him) 100% that Allah will make us the best of nation again! That Allah will remove all humilation of our umma and by us giving back both men and women their rights 100% (the way Islam says we should and not go through culture or ego) you will see millions of disbelievers entering Islam. Social problem will disappear, women will perform at her fullest potential without stepping off her limits and men will perform his fullest potential without stepping off his limits. The Ying Yang harmony will be complete...there will be fewer divorces and fewer family issues. But one of the important things we need to achieve harmony is allow gender differences and gender roles and give roles exclusive for men and give roles exclusive for women. If there are fewer men around (huge gender imbalance), then birth more of them to compensate for the lose and let them fulfill their role. There are roles for women that only she plays this role...stop this evil act of gender selection (killing girls especially)....that is as evil as killing millions of people with one shot gun, let the female play her role and not put her role down. When I say men play his role it doesn't mean women shouldn't go to school or become doctors or teachers...I mean let men play his role. Let there no be men vs women mentality or show women can do same job as men as those we don't need men or men have no role...this is what I mean by let men play his role. Let him have his play field and say society need men to function as well as need women to function. This is what we need.

Remember the male is the sun and the female is the moon. If you let the moon cover the sun you no longer get the sun light and it's benefits, which by the way the moon CAN cover the sun...it doesn't mean we should let it happen. Can women do same and better job than men? Yes, yes and a thousand times yes. However, it doesn't change the fact men have a role to play and it should be exclusive to him. Can women through a man get to change society? Yes, of course and the same as she can do it on her own without a man, also that is of course!! It have being like that for hundreds and thousands of years. Women are very strong creature by nature, that is how Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) created her. Women have effected so much in history through the men and without him. She starts by her raising her son and going up giving advice to her husband. This have being like that since the day of the prophet, it is not new it is old. Heck even in the day of ignorance where people where Mushrikeen and Kufar and you see it now in the West, where women influenced society through her man and by herself. Nothing new...seriously. I want sisters not to feel they are ignored or no have real role significance because that is not true. What you are seeing in society is Jahiliya because we moved astray and follow disbelievers instead of Qura'an and Sunnah. That is our big downfall.

**Umme salma** · 05-07-2018

Hi, thank you for your response, it's appreciated..the first thing is to hear out... as many the reasons from both parties....there are some men who understand the role of being strong positive figure, those who are around such personalities will find they can breath easier....some women will express we have no choice but to take the role of both because men are not participating in their duties and not taking their roles seriously so how can we encourage men to flourish as p the trustworthy protectors and take responsibility for their roles...and how that can take pressure of women to concentrate and focus roles to balance again... again I speak from experience, I also think here is confusion about what roles by different mindset...we have both masculine and feminine energies, also biologically we share both hormones as do men...just in different proportions..how can we close the gap and begin harmony when not everyone wants to be a team player.... ? How do we address these issues and find a balance ...? I just find our approach is has been tainted and abused...how again do we become people with healthier mindsets ...any healthy concept that leads to harmonynaturally belongs to God's Order... so if people are turning away to look for examples else where we need to question were have gone wrong....this a great place to start....when like you have said we are being fairly treated and with our rights ...much is obvious, men who are responsible and women who are responsible will hit that harmony...irrelevant of human flaws, as they have the ability to admit or repair and communicate... how do we get to recognise that honesty, sincerity, mercy, compassion, understanding, mutual respect, loyalty...should be a mutual thing between couples and what that looks like.... how do we revive such a relationships...?

**AllahIsAl-Malik** · 05-07-2018

I hear a lot of this talk about men not "stepping up". The fact is these masculinized women are not attractive. If a man is effeminate and the women aren't interested- we don't and shouldn't tell him the women aren't stepping up. Honestly, I would like to beat all the effeminate nonsense out of him and drill it into him that he needs to be a man.

Men need to be men and women need to be women. You have women walking around being 300 pounds and super masculine. They are entitled to nothing..

A woman can't be androgynous and act as though she's entitled. An androgynous man isn't entitled.

If she's a real woman, men will be into her. If she's an androgynous blob she'll attract weak dudes.

Men need to be men and women need to be women. There is no point in making excuses for masculine women. The fact is these women are destroying their own womanhood and what makes them attractive to men and then refusing to take responsibility for what they've done.

If you're a woman who is in touch with her feminity, you shouldn't have trouble making a man want you and this doesn't apply to you. Women are free to masculinize themselves and tear apart their own feminity but no man in his right mind is attracted to such a woman and she's made her own bed. People say equality, right? Then why treat women like children? Let women deal with the responsibility of their own decisions.

The masculinized androgynous women will get the cats and the feminine, attractive women will get the men. It's up to women what they want. The feminized androgynous men will get the video games and the strong, masculine men will get the women. This is perfectly reasonable, fair and how it should be. If you're in touch with your own nature and haven't been neutured then it shouldn't bother you. People are responsible for their own decisions. If people ruin their own lives, there's no sense in crying over them. If men listen to our own nature and avoid masculinized, unattractive women- we should be congratulated. That's being smart. That's not "not stepping up"- that's being intelligent. If I see rotten food, I'm not "not stepping up" by refusing to eat it- that's just being intelligent. The good men deserve the women and the good women deserve the men. When the Day of Judgement comes and more women than men end up in hell (don't get mad at me- if this makes you mad, then you're mad at what Islam teaches)- the women meant for hell are not going to get a free pass just because they're women. You can play the spineless, weak men like that but Allah is not a spineless, emasculated weak male desperate to please women- women are accountable for their decisions just like women are. And there's no sense in listening to what a foolish woman says. What she says is gibberish. She shouldn't even be listened to. Women are responsible for their decisions just like we men are. They don't get a free pass just because they're women. And if you're for equality, you're for that.

If you're a woman playing your role or you're a man playing your role and your spouse won't play their role- whose fault is that? Choosing your spouse is serious. You have to choose a spouse who will play their role and it is your responsiblity to choose a good spouse. Rejecting the weak, emasculated men and rejecting the masculine woman is part of selecting a good spouse. You can't seriously think a weak, sissified man is qualified to be the father of your children and you can't think a masculine woman who is totally out of touch with her own womanhood is fit to be a mother to your children. She is free to shave her head, get tattoos, pierce her tongue, and follow her desires- but I would be a traitor to my children if I ever had children with such a woman. A child needs a loving, warm mother who will love them. Not a woman who is chasing absurd desires and will put the children second to whatever absurdities she's been brainwashed with.

**xboxisdead** · 05-07-2018

Originally Posted by AllahIsAl-Malik

I hear a lot of this talk about men not "stepping up". The fact is these masculinized women are not attractive. If a man is effeminate and the women aren't interested- we don't and shouldn't tell him the women aren't stepping up. Honestly, I would like to beat all the effeminate nonsense out of him and drill it into him that he needs to be a man.

Men need to be men and women need to be women. You have women walking around being 300 pounds and super masculine. They are entitled to nothing..

A woman can't be androgynous and act as though she's entitled. An androgynous man isn't entitled.

If she's a real woman, men will be into her. If she's an androgynous blob she'll attract weak dudes.

Men need to be men and women need to be women. There is no point in making excuses for masculine women. The fact is these women are destroying their own womanhood and what makes them attractive to men and then refusing to take responsibility for what they've done.

If you're a woman who is in touch with her feminity, you shouldn't have trouble making a man want you and this doesn't apply to you. Women are free to masculinize themselves and tear apart their own feminity but no man in his right mind is attracted to such a woman and she's made her own bed. People say equality, right? Then why treat women like children? Let women deal with the responsibility of their own decisions.

The masculinized androgynous women will get the cats and the feminine, attractive women will get the men. It's up to women what they want. The feminized androgynous men will get the video games and the strong, masculine men will get the women. This is perfectly reasonable, fair and how it should be. If you're in touch with your own nature and haven't been neutured then it shouldn't bother you. People are responsible for their own decisions. If people ruin their own lives, there's no sense in crying over them. If men listen to our own nature and avoid masculinized, unattractive women- we should be congratulated. That's being smart. That's not "not stepping up"- that's being intelligent. If I see rotten food, I'm not "not stepping up" by refusing to eat it- that's just being intelligent. The good men deserve the women and the good women deserve the men. When the Day of Judgement comes and more women than men end up in hell (don't get mad at me- if this makes you mad, then you're mad at what Islam teaches)- the women meant for hell are not going to get a free pass just because they're women. You can play the spineless, weak men like that but Allah is not a spineless, emasculated weak male desperate to please women- women are accountable for their decisions just like women are. And there's no sense in listening to what a foolish woman says. What she says is gibberish. She shouldn't even be listened to. Women are responsible for their decisions just like we men are. They don't get a free pass just because they're women. And if you're for equality, you're for that.

If you're a woman playing your role or you're a man playing your role and your spouse won't play their role- whose fault is that? Choosing your spouse is serious. You have to choose a spouse who will play their role and it is your responsiblity to choose a good spouse. Rejecting the weak, emasculated men and rejecting the masculine woman is part of selecting a good spouse. You can't seriously think a weak, sissified man is qualified to be the father of your children and you can't think a masculine woman who is totally out of touch with her own womanhood is fit to be a mother to your children. She is free to shave her head, get tattoos, pierce her tongue, and follow her desires- but I would be a traitor to my children if I ever had children with such a woman. A child needs a loving, warm mother who will love them. Not a woman who is chasing absurd desires and will put the children second to whatever absurdities she's been brainwashed with.

AAAAH! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM SAYING!! ALLAH IS NOT MALE, ALLAH IS NOT FEMALE!! ALLAH DOES NOT RESEMBLE ANY OF HIS CREATIONS AND NO ONE CAN MANIPULATE ALLAH TO DO THEIR BIDDING!! By the way, GENDER EQUALITY DOES NOT EXIST IN ISLAM! PERIOD! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MEN AND WOMEN ARE EQUAL!! PERIIOD! If women hate this, leave Islam and join feminism. You will not one second be able to hurt Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) one inch.

As for what you said about women in hellfire!!! THAT IS EXACTLY what I said also!!!

Those women who are in hellfire because of being ungrateful to their husband or because of bad conduct to people, you women...you and only you did it to yourself. I will not weep for those women in hellfire even if lot of them will enter paradise eventually. I will not cry for you or feel sorry for you. I will satisfied that justice have being served myself personally and this proofs hundred percent that Allah is just!!! He will not do favoritism based on gender like we men do to ourselves. By the way? No men asked you to be ungrateful to your husband or have bad conduct to people. No men have plotted some scheme to make you do it because we want to oppress you and for sure not some patriarchal scheme so we can rule you and have you enter hellfire either. Your bad conduct to your husband (and to other people) and you entering hellfire is your own doing!

Anyways...I am 100% forever turned off from the opposite gender for life. I have no intention of marrying a woman...or desire to have one. Whatever benefit they have I have lived 38 years of my life without it and I can live another 20 or more without it. I cannot miss something that I have never had from the first place.

I was thinking of adopting kids but I believe it is complicated for a single man to adopt a child...so if it is not possible and people are sexist toward me because I am a male I prefer living single without an adopted child also.

**AllahIsAl-Malik** · 05-07-2018

Originally Posted by xboxisdead

AAAAH! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM SAYING!! ALLAH IS NOT MALE, ALLAH IS NOT FEMALE!! ALLAH DOES NOT RESEMBLE ANY OF HIS CREATIONS AND NO ONE CAN MANIPULATE ALLAH TO DO THEIR BIDDING!! By the way, GENDER EQUALITY DOES NOT EXIST IN ISLAM! PERIOD! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MEN AND WOMEN ARE EQUAL!! PERIIOD! If women hate this, leave Islam and join feminism. You will not one second be able to hurt Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) one inch.

As for what you said about women in hellfire!!! THAT IS EXACTLY what I said also!!!

Those women who are in hellfire because of being ungrateful to their husband or because of bad conduct to people, you women...you and only you did it to yourself. I will not weep for those women in hellfire even if lot of them will enter paradise eventually. I will not cry for you or feel sorry for you. I will satisfied that justice have being served myself personally and this proofs hundred percent that Allah is just!!! He will not do favoritism based on gender like we men do to ourselves. By the way? No men asked you to be ungrateful to your husband or have bad conduct to people. No men have plotted some scheme to make you do it because we want to oppress you and for sure not some patriarchal scheme so we can rule you and have you enter hellfire either. Your bad conduct to your husband (and to other people) and you entering hellfire is your own doing!

Anyways...I am 100% forever turned off from the opposite gender for life. I have no intention of marrying a woman...or desire to have one. Whatever benefit they have I have lived 38 years of my life without it and I can live another 20 or more without it. I cannot miss something that I have never had from the first place.

I was thinking of adopting kids but I believe it is complicated for a single man to adopt a child...so if it is not possible and people are sexist toward me because I am a male I prefer living single without an adopted child also.

Woah. Firstly, my post did not say what you are saying. I did not say anything about Allah not having a gender. Secondly, I did not say there is not equality.

Thirdly, I seriously am not in your boat. How you write is way too overly emotional and I am not with you. I am in one boat and you are in another boat. Please do not claim my boat.

Please relax the caps lock and exclamation points and please don't claim my boat. We are two different boats and I do not want to be associated with you. I am not with you.

Lastly, maybe join a MGTOW forum. I'm not cool with women being super masculine but I'm not cool with men not having their emotions under control either. I disagree with women acting like men and men acting like women but I'm not a MGTOW. And my stuff is calm. Your stuff is way too emotional and over-the-top.

We are not in the same boat, you are in one boat, I am in another, please do not embarrass me by claiming my boat. How you are acting is embarrassing. I don't want to be discredited by people thinking we're on the same team. We are not. Seriously. You can't criticize today's gender stuff while being a man who doesn't control his emotions.

If you're a man who can't control his emotions and who is super emotional- a woman shouldn't be with a man like that. If you're like that, you shouldn't be talking about women. You should be learning how to control your emotions. You can't get mad at women not playing their role if you're not playing yours. Also, if that is how you talk to women then more than likely you would be abusive and shouldn't have a woman. You should focus on yourself and not complain. You are just posting abusive, anti-woman stuff. I am just telling people true stuff. There is a line and a difference. I don't buy all the nonsense society tries to push on people but I love and respect women. You are making Islam look bad. Islam teaches respect for women. You are following your own desires. And your emotions.

**xboxisdead** · 05-07-2018

Originally Posted by AllahIsAl-Malik

Woah. Firstly, my post did not say what you are saying. I did not say anything about Allah not having a gender. Secondly, I did not say there is not equality.

Thirdly, I seriously am not in your boat. How you write is way too overly emotional and I am not with you. I am in one boat and you are in another boat. Please do not claim my boat.

Please relax the caps lock and exclamation points and please don't claim my boat. We are two different boats and I do not want to be associated with you. I am not with you.

Lastly, maybe join a MGTOW forum. I'm not cool with women being super masculine but I'm not cool with men not having their emotions under control either. I disagree with women acting like men and men acting like women but I'm not a MGTOW. And my stuff is calm. Your stuff is way too emotional and over-the-top.

We are not in the same boat, you are in one boat, I am in another, please do not embarrass me by claiming my boat. How you are acting is embarrassing. I don't want to be discredited by people thinking we're on the same team. We are not. Seriously. You can't criticize today's gender stuff while being a man who doesn't control his emotions.

If you're a man who can't control his emotions and who is super emotional- a woman shouldn't be with a man like that. If you're like that, you shouldn't be talking about women. You should be learning how to control your emotions. You can't get mad at women not playing their role if you're not playing yours. Also, if that is how you talk to women then more than likely you would be abusive and shouldn't have a woman. You should focus on yourself and not complain. You are just posting abusive, anti-woman stuff. I am just telling people true stuff. There is a line and a difference. I don't buy all the nonsense society tries to push on people but I love and respect women. You are making Islam look bad. Islam teaches respect for women. You are following your own desires. And your emotions.

So your objection about me not controlling my emotion? Well let me tell you something...controlling emotion is something learned. That is something learned by having a father in the house. I have not had one single male role model in my entire life. I have being raised by two women. This is what happens when women raise boys. You get them hyper emotional. Yes I am emotional. But this is have being burned in me since my childhood and I have never had any male role model to offset this.

This is a perfect example why mothers can never be able to raise boys into men. This is a perfect example why mothers should let their sons be raised y their fathers if a divorce should happen. EXTREMELY perfect example. It is too late for this part of me to change...and it is perfect reason why I should not get married ever. I am not marriage material. Boys being raised by mothers alone will be neutered (majority of them anyways) will be hyper emotional, hyper sensitive and talk a lot. Gender balance is so important for this reason.

As for the same boat..I am unsure what you think my boat is. My boat is that having pointing blame on men alone will never solve any problem. Treating women like children will hurt her in the long run and honestly if women and men do not wake up in this world...waking up in the afterlife will be an extremely terrifying awakening and that time it will be too late. I am tired of excuses being given to the opposite gender for their bad behavior so I find satisfaction knowing they will be punished in the afterlife.

Maybe again that is the feminine side of me..the female in me...the girly boy in me. But if you are raised by two women you will have me being girly. Sorry. I am an emotional man yes.

**M.I.A.** · 05-07-2018

" The National Marriage Project at Rutgers University in New Jersey reported in 2005 (USA Today, July 18, 2005) that cohabiting couples break up at twice the rate of married couples in the U.S. and that 40% of cohabiting couples have children – who get to share these more rapid breakups.-"

..sounds like wonky statistics here.

Needs a more accurate breakdown to justify what is implied..

It may still be a valid point but i just needs to be sure.

Because cohabiting couples and cohabiting couples with children are two different demographics.

"In Europe, cohabitation rates are even higher, although divorce rates are lower and more children grow up with both parents – even when they’re not married."

...dammit.. hate not reading the whole post before replying.

Yes english is my first language.

In conclusion, nobody is technically lieing.. but the institution of marriage as is understood by todays cultures may need some addressing.

I would like to believe that children allow for a greater compromise within individuals and strengthening of bonds.

But even then we are not all the same.

..iv had the same honda civic for 10 years!

**xboxisdead** · 05-07-2018

Originally Posted by M.I.A.

" The National Marriage Project at Rutgers University in New Jersey reported in 2005 (USA Today, July 18, 2005) that cohabiting couples break up at twice the rate of married couples in the U.S. and that 40% of cohabiting couples have children – who get to share these more rapid breakups.-"

..sounds like wonky statistics here.

Needs a more accurate breakdown to justify what is implied..

It may still be a valid point but i just needs to be sure.

Because cohabiting couples and cohabiting couples with children are two different demographics.

"In Europe, cohabitation rates are even higher, although divorce rates are lower and more children grow up with both parents – even when they’re not married."

...dammit.. hate not reading the whole post before replying.

Yes english is my first language.

In conclusion, nobody is technically lieing.. but the institution of marriage as is understood by todays cultures may need some addressing.

But non-muslim men do not care for marriage. They chant that there is no benefit for men to getting married and prefer having sex out of wedlock and making sure not knocking up some chick. I am sure the majority of Muslims will be followin this path too.

**M.I.A.** · 05-07-2018

Originally Posted by xboxisdead

But non-muslim men do not care for marriage. They chant that there is no benefit for men to getting married and prefer having sex out of wedlock and making sure not knocking up some chick. I am sure the majority of Muslims will be followin this path too.

Well i suppose that thats a deeper issue within the conversation lol. The things we do are only deterrents if we consider them as such..

What's a beard? Anyone can keep a beard?

You only realise what false desires are when the things you want are not the same as the things you pray for.

Those people only wrong there own souls.

And declare war.. but that's something else entirely.

But there does come a day when they *allah swt* take into account the things you do if they did not do so before(seemingly).

But yeah it does feel weird HAVING to give things up because you don't like the way you act.

Anon: Unhappy.

Anon2: Why you unhappy for?

Anon: i dont know?

Anon2: gawd dammit!!

That didn't happen but unhappyness affects a lot of people..

And we may be back on topic.

It may be easy for some. It takes all sorts of people to make the world turn.

For a time.

And you can only be judged on the knowledge you have.. probably. O_o

Allah swt has power over all things but i dont consider him my personal degeneracy.

**xboxisdead** · 05-07-2018

This is a proof example that when Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) created the male sex he did not created him without a purpose. For all women out there who chant they don't need men and think men are unnecessary this mantra is have being mentioned and shouted and believed severely in the African community.

The African community is a community that worship the female sex. Literally speaking they worship them and they announce their worship to the female sex loudly. They devalue fatherhood to zero and put all values to mothers alone. To them it is, "Your mother. Your mother. Your mother. Your mother. Your mother. Your mother. Your mother. Your mother only." No mention of fathers in the list. They believe their women are queen just because they are female and they gave their female exalted names. It is run by a female head of the household. The female is the leader and she and only she is the backbone of society. The exalt her and put all the value on her. The laws favor her and she can do no wrong or harm. She can dress the ----tiest of cloth and majority of them are single mothers. They have sex from men to men to men and from women to women to women. In the end...in the african community it is the female who committee the most violence, murders and crimes. When you remove gender boundaries and put women in the front when Allah (Subhanau Wa Talaa) have order us in the Qura'an to put women in the back not the front and you give all affairs exclusively only women and remove all rights from men...that video is an example of what you get.

**talibilm** · 05-07-2018

Does this matter ?

Of course this is a matter of deep & serious concerns regarding the morale of the society and the world , even the NON believers Frowned on Mary (AS) when they saw she came with an Infant without a known father.

IMO these are the triggers to the more unbashful society of the future which one day will lead to copulation on the paths openly, as Prophesied by hadith and he will be the most pious man of those times who will remind them to continue their act in Privacy.

So we as Pious Muslims must speak against these unbashfulness exclusively homosexualness thats being promoted even via marriages and we request the Pious Jews & Christians to speak against these vile behaviours which even in their PRESENT holy books scream against about going against all the laws of nature, since such a lowest behaviour is not even found in animals.

**xboxisdead** · 05-08-2018

Originally Posted by talibilm

Does this matter ?

Of course this is a matter of deep & serious concerns regarding the morale of the society and the world , even the NON believers Frowned on Mary (AS) when they saw she came with an Infant without a known father.

IMO these are the triggers to the more unbashful society of the future which one day will lead to copulation on the paths openly, as Prophesied by hadith and he will be the most pious man of those times who will remind them to continue their act in Privacy.

So we as Pious Muslims must speak against these unbashfulness exclusively homosexualness thats being promoted even via marriages and we request the Pious Jews & Christians to speak against these vile behaviours which even in their PRESENT holy books scream against about going against all the laws of nature, since such a lowest behaviour is not even found in animals.

It is getting worse in terms of homosexual act. They are working for two lesbian couples to birth babies without male input and they scream it in youtube we do not need men. I am tired of hearing it to be honest. No homosexual and lesbian should be allowed to have babies in my humble opinion. Already society is falling down when no fathers exist in the child's life we add more by having two women raising children alone by having lesbian couples

or two men having gay sex and having babies. They have discovered when a child see their mother or father having sex with either a man or a woman that child psychologically get mutated and damaged and end up perverted.