Many muslim women feel 'icky' about the idea of being housewives. Why

**Al-Ansariyah** · 04-17-2022

MANY MUSLIM WOMEN FEEL 'ICKY' ABOUT THE IDEA OF BEING HOUSEWIVES. WHY?
By Umm Khalid(Muslim Skeptic)

I was talking to a group of single young Muslim ladies about marriage. They were in the age range of the late twenties to early thirties.

One sister said that she was searching for both a husband and a job. She was looking for a job because she wanted “the autonomy” that came with making her own money. Even after marriage, she explained, she still wanted to make sure she was still her own person and a big part of that was making her own money from a job. Relying fully on her husband’s money even if he’s wealthy, she said, would make her “feel icky.”

I’ve heard this exact same sentiment expressed by many modern Muslim women before her, said almost verbatim. Down to the “feeling icky” part.

Why does it make Muslim women feel so icky to have the traditional gender roles in their marriage? Why is it icky that the wife dedicates herself to the family, home, and children, while the husband dedicates himself to earning money for the family?

Where did we get our fears from? When did we learn this mistrust, this suspicion, this anxiety?

I understand that it’s multi-faceted, and I want to appreciate the complexity of this situation.

It is certainly a reality that in some cases, there are in fact some Muslim men who fail to take their role as providers seriously, forcing the females in their life to fend for themselves. Some husbands and/ or fathers have dropped the ball, showing their daughters or wives or sisters through their actions that perhaps men are not to be trusted, that men don’t fulfill their obligations and don’t keep their promises. Such men have failed to meet the Islamic standards for the wali/husband/ father, and this is a problem. There are weak men, undisciplined men, incompetent men; they let their women down.

Is that the main reason, though?

Because…how often does this happen? What percentage of Muslim men are “deadbeats” in this way? Is it the majority of Muslim men? Half? A quarter? 5%?

Yet the way we women worry about this issue and sometimes talk about it, you’d think it was 99.3% of all Muslim men who fail to provide.

This particular problem of irresponsible men, while it definitely exists, is highly exaggerated in the female mind.

Because stories get told again and again, spreading until they seem more prevalent than they truly are. Women hear about other women’s experiences and extrapolate from that certain lessons and come to certain conclusions, even if it’s all simply hearsay and they’ve never seen such irresponsible men themselves.

The other factor here is liberal education-indoctrination and feminism brainwashing. Let’s just call it what it is.

The modern programming of women goes as follows: “You are on your own for the most part. Men are not to be trusted! Your husband will probably turn out to be a stingy tight-fisted miser! Or he’ll be a useless unemployed deadbeat! Or he’ll cheat on you and leave you and the kids for another woman! Or he’ll beat you and be an abusive monster! What if he ups and dies? What if you get divorced for no reason? So many bad scenarios! Better be safe and get your own job to make your own money so you can keep your independence from him and not be forced to rely on the unreliable or trust the untrustworthy. Gotta be prepared for anything. Just in case. Cuz you never know. Just saying.”

Fear mongering.

Sowing seeds of doubt, of mistrust, of insecurity.

No tawakkul on Allah, but solely on one’s own desperate efforts. We’ve forgotten the hadith about the tawakkl and rizq:

حديث عمر ، قال: سمعت رسول الله ﷺ يقول: “لو أنكم تتوكلون على الله حق توكله لرزقكم كما يرزق الطير، تغدو خماصاً وتروح بطاناً.”

“If you were to have full tawakkul on Allah the way He is due, He would provide for you the way He provides for the birds; they leave their nest hungry and return full.”

But the modern brainwashing trains women to have bad expectations from the start, to assume the worst before anything even happens.

The husband is shot down before he can even do anything.

In war, this is called a preemptive strike.

How can a marriage survive under such conditions?

The most intelligent, sensible, and effective division of labor is an exchange between the genders.
Each gender has something that the other lacks. They trade in a mutually-beneficial exchange for the benefit of both parties, the children, the family, and society.

Historically, this is how it has always worked:

Men, with their larger frames and stronger physique, have a greater capacity to work hard jobs and put in long hours, which we can call surplus labor.

Women are the only ones who can have babies, which we can call reproductive ability.

In marriage, the man offers the woman his surplus labor and she offers him her reproductive ability in a system that benefits both parties and builds a family. It’s actually a brilliant system because it accounts for each gender’s nature, God-given abilities, and temperament.

Each gender can focus fully on their respective abilities and play the role that comes most naturally.

This makes marriage smooth, seamless, complementary.

But now in these modern times, women are being fear-mongered and brainwashed into trying to fulfill BOTH roles: chasing surplus labor and reproductive ability. At the same time.

This is too much for any one person to do simultaneously and still be okay, still be rested, still be sane.

Women, you are being pressured into doing too much.

This “icky” feeling that’s been planted into your psyche hurts you. That’s external to you, implanted by feminism. Let go of it.

We as women need to pick good Muslim husbands (vetted by wali, istikhara, and consultation). And then we need to LEARN TO TRUST THEM.

And of course, the other side of the equation is that Muslim men need to live up to the Islamic standards for the wali/ husband/ father and fulfill their responsibilities toward dependants. They need to be in charge, as Allah has commanded. The great majority of Muslim men already do, mashaAllah.

Once men are firmly in their masculine role, and women let themselves rest in their feminine role without feeling “icky” about it, our marriages can thrive inshaAllah.

**xboxisdead** · 04-18-2022

It is really hard to answer that question to be honest, there are so many factors. One might even add she wishes to fulfill her desires and refuses to be under the Islamic frame. She wants to make her own version of Islam. It is very wide the reason and it can be anything at the end of it all, it is best that their true intention comes out then be hidden. I prefer everyone to be open 100% in what's in their hearts then be false in their acts. This way it opens doors for many men who want to get married to be able to pick the right partner and not be tricket into one, especially after having children afterwords.

Women come in many flavors and personalities. There are masculine women, lesbian women, man hating women, feminist women, Allah hating women, disbeiiever women, hypocrite women, child abusing women, or good saleh women, Allah fearing women, pious women, great wife and mother. There are women who lower their gazes better than million men. I don't burden myself with these types of women you mentioned. There are no shortage of estrogen. Women are as common as grass on the ground, you pluck the grass out and in weeks millions come back again filling your garden. You just need to use the lawnmower to plow the grass and polish the edges.

Any man who marries these type of women you mentioned deserves what he gots. Some women like these are doing it for power struggle and any man marrying them will deal with the consequences of these women. I would not weep for these men if these women destroyed them. He knew what he is dealing with. Other women love to work and make a contract with their future husband that I want to work but I will avoid contacting with the opposite gender and it will be full female atmosphere, and I will make sure your rights are fulfilled and follow the correct Islamic Sharia and be obedient to you and good wife and mother. So at that point, does it matter if she wishes to make her own money and refuses to stop working? Honestly, not really.

You need to look at her intention for this. Is it because it is an evil intention: man-hating, power struggle, feminist, no trust on Allah, don't trust men, wants to be the one riding the buss or her intention of pure heart:I do it because I want to contribute to society and help, but I am following Sharia Law and still take money from my husband because it is his duty for that and I know his rights and my rights and will not cross it.

The women who says iky or refuse to take from their husband either are ignorant women or don't want to take from their husband financial means, that is fine if she wants to opt out of her rights from taking money from her husband, but she still have to fulfill his rights. You see, much like mother's right, husband's right are protected and no one have the right to take the other person's right away from him or her. If the husband willingly wants to opt out his rights and become submissive that is different story, ok? But no women have the right to forceably take the right of her husband by tricks, means or changing the system to fit her desires and whims.

Women don't know this, but...women by nature are terrosit if giving more rights over her husband...sorry but that is truth. When women have more rights over her husbands she becomes bully, aggressive, mean, rude, heartless, terrorizing her husband every single day of his life until he wishes he was dead. Had that not been the case, Allah would have command her to be the leader. Yes, there are abusive and evil men out there, yes no doubt about it...but Allah knows that men are more compassionate to his family and to his wife when giving leadership vs women.

Here is an example of this on going story, over and over and over I just received it by email today when power is giving to women 100% over men.

There is a reason why such order is been build. If women want to be masculine, please do so and even go lesbian. It is not my problem. Sister, don't burden yourself with this issue. Focus on yourself and your family and close ones. Are you prepared to meet Allah? That is the only question you need to ask yourself and worry about. What other men or women do is not your problem. Otherwise, you will never smile again.

**Flos** · 04-18-2022

Constant battle...

Assalamu alaikum,

I'm a woman and I would be the happiest in this Dunya to live under shariyah and sunnah, to have a good, responsible, loving husband and to take my Islamic role in the society.

Girls, let's also be honest - Do we ever think of how difficult it is for men to take care for entire family? Imagine nowadays 1 salary covering wife and at least 1 child. And imagine those who have wife and 3 and more kids...

In the west (I'm talking about disbelievers) , a working married couple can't support 1 child with 2 high salaries and both financially enslaved by bank haram loans, with renting houses etc.

And then a Muslim wife, non working, comes and complains to husband for not having such and such dress...

On the other hand, overthinking is definitely from shaytan. He whispers us against each other in order to ruin a family. And we forget that everything is a test. We need to follow Sunnah and Shariyah no matter what. No matter the disrespect of our husbands and their possible torture, for Allah is watching everything. We shouldn't be scared before getting married as for we're thinking of something that hasn't happened yet and distrusting Allah.

Let's just do our part, for we're going to stand in front of Allah, alone

**xboxisdead** · 04-18-2022

Originally Posted by Flos

Constant battle...

Assalamu alaikum,

I'm a woman and I would be the happiest in this Dunya to live under shariyah and sunnah, to have a good, responsible, loving husband and to take my Islamic role in the society.

Girls, let's also be honest - Do we ever think of how difficult it is for men to take care for entire family? Imagine nowadays 1 salary covering wife and at least 1 child. And imagine those who have wife and 3 and more kids...

In the west (I'm talking about disbelievers) , a working married couple can't support 1 child with 2 high salaries and both financially enslaved by bank haram loans, with renting houses etc.

And then a Muslim wife, non working, comes and complains to husband for not having such and such dress...

On the other hand, overthinking is definitely from shaytan. He whispers us against each other in order to ruin a family. And we forget that everything is a test. We need to follow Sunnah and Shariyah no matter what. No matter the disrespect of our husbands and their possible torture, for Allah is watching everything. We shouldn't be scared before getting married as for we're thinking of something that hasn't happened yet and distrusting Allah.

Let's just do our part, for we're going to stand in front of Allah, alone

What men want is to be appreciate it and treated as if he is the king. You do that and those men will sacrifice his body for you and your children.

Many women fail in this. Instead, "IT IS YOUR DUTY AS A MAN!" Other women say, "Pfft, I do more work than his. I cook and clean and take care of his children and all he does is bring money to the house." OK...just two examples of men wishes marriage is abolished when women do this. In fact, more women do this and more men say, "What am I doing? Women are strong, independent and smarter than men. She can do everything a man do and better! There are more women in college than men. Why am I paying for her!? She should go out to work like everyone else. My money is my money and her money is her money." This is what more men will think and as it progress down that gutter, more men will think this, "There is no benefit for a man to get married. Might as well have pooty can, and have list of 20 to 30 hot sexy women I can have zina with and have her smell the bakery and not have a bite of it. This way more women will treat me like a king as long as I didn't sign the contract with her and can replace her with more new hot meat." Why is that far fethed, exactly? It happens and will become the norm.

Then when this becomes the norm, eventually men will get tired of women and want to go homosexual. There we have opened the door for distructive society.

See how easy it is when you pervert the nature of order of things. When we try to change men or emasculate me or do gender role reversal...IT IS SOO EASY it is not even funny. All it toke was a woman be kind and treat her husband like a human being...are there evil men with saleeh good women? Yeeeeeesssssss! But that is not the point here...the point here is when both rights are fulfilled the risk of social destructiveness deminishes ENORMOUS number and that is what we want to target. When we deal with low number of abusers we can handle it differently.

**marifat** · 04-18-2022

The truth is both Muslim and non-Muslim society devalue the work women do as mothers and housewives. If being a housewife was something actually valued by society, as valued as other paths such as becoming a doctor and lawyer, then more women would choose it. It is often not even seen as labor as it doesn't directly produce anything in the capitalist system. If society actually valued women's labor and didn't exclusively value traditionally masculine labor then more women would have a more positive attitude towards becoming a housewife. I don't see that changing anytime soon. Sadly, even many Muslim brothers are exclusively looking for working women so they can contribute in paying bills, not realizing how important a mother's role is in ensuring for healthy emotional development of children. Raising children should ideally never be outsourced to someone who is only making 15 dollars an hour. You can't expect anyone other than family to provide your child with the unconditional love needed to ensure they develop healthily, affecting the rest of their life.

I think many women also see being a housewife as a thankless job because let's face it, many brothers do not value their wife's labor and many refuse to help their wives. Being a mother and a housewife is a 24/7 job with no breaks, unlike other kinds of labor, and more husbands should help out their wives.

**xboxisdead** · 04-18-2022

Originally Posted by marifat

The truth is both Muslim and non-Muslim society devalue the work women do as mothers and housewives. If being a housewife was something actually valued by society, as valued as other paths such as becoming a doctor and lawyer, then more women would choose it. It is often not even seen as labor as it doesn't directly produce anything in the capitalist system. If society actually valued women's labor and didn't exclusively value traditionally masculine labor then more women would have a more positive attitude towards becoming a housewife. I don't see that changing anytime soon. Sadly, even many Muslim brothers are exclusively looking for working women so they can contribute in paying bills, not realizing how important a mother's role is in ensuring for healthy emotional development of children. Raising children should ideally never be outsourced to someone who is only making 15 dollars an hour. You can't expect anyone other than family to provide your child with the unconditional love needed to ensure they develop healthily, affecting the rest of their life.

I think many women also see being a housewife as a thankless job because let's face it, many brothers do not value their wife's labor and many refuse to help their wives. Being a mother and a housewife is a 24/7 job with no breaks, unlike other kinds of labor, and more husbands should help out their wives.

You are wrong...women should never look up to society for her role. She should look up first to what Allah looks at her role, and we all know the value of housewife and mother in front of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa). THAT IS SUFFICIENT for all TRUE SALEH MUSLIMAH to seek the 24/7 job with no break like you said here. She knows that any moment she will die and meet her creator and what he (Allah Subhanau Wa Talaa) have promised her would be sufficient for her to do this -labour job and smile. In fact, she wants to meet her creator right now as she is that is excited. That is...if she is true Muslima and mumeena. But if there is a disease in her heart than what you mentioned above applies easily. AFTER Allah she should look for her husband for affirmation of her role. If he is a good saleeh man than you as a woman got all the affirmation you need. In fact, your confidence level will be so high and the way you feel appreciate of your role by your husband and children is more than enough, you will scuff what society says about women role.

Otherwise if women don't do this and follow what society says and follow what society values as good or bad you are going the gutter of feminist route and live a miserable life and single to boot. Just remember, there are more girls born than boys and this trend is not stopping...that means men have the upper hand ever more to pick and choose for partner and women will not have that option as time pass by. You will be happy to get married to any man at some point or get married period.

The shift of the power of dating gaming going toward's men's hand ever more strongly and the more women get power the more men have power over women in dating game because the more women become picky and the less of men's opportunity is open for her.

Again, why you think it is set by Allah that women be in the back? It is really for the benefit of women. More women be in front more these women become bitter, less partner choices, more prone to be alone or single, more become masculine and more women become intolerant. Is that all? No. But we don't count in exception, do we? Men feel more confident if he plays his role that women want to take from his hands and the more he enjoys his role the more he will do anything for his family, the more he will enjoy the role of protector and provider and the better he become as a father too. Isn't that all good stuff or we want lesbian, homosexuality, raping children (boys and girls alike) masculine women, alcohol, fornication, etc? I mean...people pick and choose.

Do you want to follow Allah and his prophet or your whims and desires? You really only have two choices here.

**marifat** · 04-18-2022

Originally Posted by xboxisdead

You are wrong...women should never look up to society for her role. She should look up first to what Allah looks at her role, and we all know the value of housewife and mother in front of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa). THAT IS SUFFICIENT for all TRUE SALEH MUSLIMAH to seek the 24/7 job with no break like you said here. She knows that any moment she will die and meet her creator and what he (Allah Subhanau Wa Talaa) have promised her would be sufficient for her to do this -labour job and smile. In fact, she wants to meet her creator right now as she is that is excited. That is...if she is true Muslima and mumeena. But if there is a disease in her heart than what you mentioned above applies easily. AFTER Allah she should look for her husband for affirmation of her role. If he is a good saleeh man than you as a woman got all the affirmation you need. In fact, your confidence level will be so high and the way you feel appreciate of your role by your husband and children is more than enough, you will scuff what society says about women role.

Otherwise if women don't do this and follow what society says and follow what society values as good or bad you are going the gutter of feminist route and live a miserable life and single to boot. Just remember, there are more girls born than boys and this trend is not stopping...that means men have the upper hand ever more to pick and choose for partner and women will not have that option as time pass by. You will be happy to get married to any man at some point or get married period.

The shift of the power of dating gaming going toward's men's hand ever more strongly and the more women get power the more men have power over women in dating game because the more women become picky and the less of men's opportunity is open for her.

Again, why you think it is set by Allah that women be in the back? It is really for the benefit of women. More women be in front more these women become bitter, less partner choices, more prone to be alone or single, more become masculine and more women become intolerant. Is that all? No. But we don't count in exception, do we? Men feel more confident if he plays his role that women want to take from his hands and the more he enjoys his role the more he will do anything for his family, the more he will enjoy the role of protector and provider and the better he become as a father too. Isn't that all good stuff or we want lesbian, homosexuality, raping children (boys and girls alike) masculine women, alcohol, fornication, etc? I mean...people pick and choose.

Do you want to follow Allah and his prophet or your whims and desires? You really only have two choices here.

Most Muslims aren’t exceptionally islamically-conscious. Even “religious” Muslims are heavily influenced by the consumerist-capitalist ideals. I’m explaining why you fewer women want to be housewives, not arguing against it. I’m a housewife myself.

Honestly, it’s also very, very hard to find a *good* muslim men who is interested in being a provider. Many women would rather be single and I can understand that.

**Flos** · 04-18-2022

Originally Posted by xboxisdead

What men want is to be appreciate it and treated as if he is the king. You do that and those men will sacrifice his body for you and your children.

Many women fail in this. Instead, "IT IS YOUR DUTY AS A MAN!" Other women say, "Pfft, I do more work than his. I cook and clean and take care of his children and all he does is bring money to the house." OK...just two examples of men wishes marriage is abolished when women do this. In fact, more women do this and more men say, "What am I doing? Women are strong, independent and smarter than men. She can do everything a man do and better! There are more women in college than men. Why am I paying for her!? She should go out to work like everyone else. My money is my money and her money is her money." This is what more men will think and as it progress down that gutter, more men will think this, "There is no benefit for a man to get married. Might as well have pooty can, and have list of 20 to 30 hot sexy women I can have zina with and have her smell the bakery and not have a bite of it. This way more women will treat me like a king as long as I didn't sign the contract with her and can replace her with more new hot meat." Why is that far fethed, exactly? It happens and will become the norm.

Then when this becomes the norm, eventually men will get tired of women and want to go homosexual. There we have opened the door for distructive society.

See how easy it is when you pervert the nature of order of things. When we try to change men or emasculate me or do gender role reversal...IT IS SOO EASY it is not even funny. All it toke was a woman be kind and treat her husband like a human being...are there evil men with saleeh good women? Yeeeeeesssssss! But that is not the point here...the point here is when both rights are fulfilled the risk of social destructiveness deminishes ENORMOUS number and that is what we want to target. When we deal with low number of abusers we can handle it differently.

Exactly!

It's all about understanding each other, but nooo... we tend to compete.

**xboxisdead** · 04-18-2022

**manofIslam** · 04-19-2022

I think the main problem is that we're making things far too complicated! Just like the Kafir do!!!! All Muslim men and women should be following SHARIA LAW as closely as we possibly can, depending on our circumstances!!! End of story!!!

**xboxisdead** · 04-19-2022

Originally Posted by manofIslam

I think the main problem is that we're making things far too complicated! Just like the Kafir do!!!! All Muslim men and women should be following SHARIA LAW as closely as we possibly can, depending on our circumstances!!! End of story!!!

That is beyond obvious. Problem is not that. Problem is that people REFUSE to follow the sharia law and instead follow the whims and desires.

For example, so many women out there outbeat men in many things and can make more money then they can and have strong personality. These women instead of saying, yes I have great advantages but this belong to the women community, I am female and his male...therefore my world is different than his, even if there are so many things I can do better than him, I as a women are not created to deal with affairs of men or compete with him! My strength should be used to help the community through raising children with my intellect and help my sisters. It is the job of men to help themselves and his family...instead of doing that...she says...wait a minute...if I can do so many things better than a man....why is he the leader and running a country??!

WHY SHOULD I obey a husband? Why should he inherit more than me??! HOW COME WOMEN ARE NOT LEADERS? We do better job than men do! Then she start to doubt the prophet when he said a nation that entrust the affairs to women will never be successful. Then she will form a rally and have women stand up and unite together against male oppression. (Hmmmm, feminist anyone?) It is time we women stand up and follow unity against paitrachry and show the world we women can do everything a man can do and better....

That is the problem. They know sharia law, but they object to it because they feel it makes no sense why a man is the leader and not woman if we woman can do better than a man.

It is not a matter for them following sharia law it is matter of them disbelieving or objecting in Allah's command. That is the problem. With media they are not liberating women they are turning women into coals to fuel the fire.

When men try to slap sense on them before it is too late, they are attacked, called male chaveunistic pig, toxic masculinity and you name it..then women attempt with their might to destroy men, demean men, emasculate men, put down men, step on men...and use man made law to destroy men as much as they can. But that problem with that is that eventually men get tired of this abuse and say, "I don't care anymore if women wishes to jump into the hellfire." trust me, this is not happening yet, as we can see lots of brothers now trying to bring sense to eveyrthing but...as future and future and future and future generation of men changes by women, feminist ...these boys will grow up ..insulted almost to feel like they have to protect women or be provider to them....when that time comes and trust me...as this been pushed in that direction it is only matter of time...no man in future will care if ALLLLL women wishes to jump into hellfire.

He will shrug his shoulders and go his way.

Yes, we should ALL follow sharia law before it is too late and the wrath and punishment of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) fall on our head and when that happens it is too late.

**manofIslam** · 04-19-2022

[QUOTE=xboxisdead;3045658]That is beyond obvious.

Yeah, I know.

**Al-Ansariyah** · 04-19-2022

Other women love to work and make a contract with their future husband that I want to work but I will avoid contacting with the opposite gender and it will be full female atmosphere, and I will make sure your rights are fulfilled and follow the correct Islamic Sharia and be obedient to you and good wife and mother. So at that point, does it matter if she wishes to make her own money and refuses to stop working? Honestly, not really.

Of course, that's a different scenario. Working is not haram in itself, You can definitely work but you would have to compromise on your duties as a wife and mother. And yes, then there are working women who are good wives, mothers. So there are exceptions in this. All the article talking about is the general case. If you have no need but still working, that's like burdening yourself with something which is not obligatory for you. And it wouldn't be wrong even in this case but there's a high chance that you may have to compromise on your obligations as a wife,mother.

**xboxisdead** · 04-20-2022

Originally Posted by Al-Ansariyah

Of course, that's a different scenario. Working is not haram in itself, You can definitely work but you would have to compromise on your duties as a wife and mother. And yes, then there are working women who are good wives, mothers. So there are exceptions in this. All the article talking about is the general case. If you have no need but still working, that's like burdening yourself with something which is not obligatory for you. And it wouldn't be wrong even in this case but there's a high chance that you may have to compromise on your obligations as a wife,mother.

I agree, sister! For a wife her priority is her husband and her children first. Priority 1. If work, education, achievement, empowerment, whatever you want...let us even go to the extreme of male enslavement and world domination and that is her plan...to be on top of a mountain and have a cape flopping behind her back as she laughs menasingly interfers with her obligatory duty to her husband, children and homes then..no...she stops immediately and focuses on her priority one first.

Did you hear that in some countries they are enforcing a law that 30% of military soliders must be female. I am like...why? What are they trying to proof? Are they trying to proof Allah is wrong? They can't and will not be. Are they trying to proof that women can do everything a man can do and better. Question to that is, why? Why you want to proof it? Want to weaken men? No? Want to masculinate women? Why? Are they seeking gender equality? Why? What man want to be attracted to a gender that is like him?

In fact, if women want to be men it is better for a man to have homosexual relationship with other men. At least with gay men they are softer, gentler than most women out there. Heck, even emo men or soft gay men are even more beautiful than many women out there. With gay men you don't have to deal with domestic violence law against you, you don't have to deal with been hit and you cannot back like women do to most men, with gay men he does not get pregnant and use children as weapon against their fathers like most women do (see video posting link above for proof). With gay men he doesn't falsify rape or sexual harrassement like most women do out there. I mean any women out there wanting to be men you will become unwanted sex badly..because gay men do better job than you do. Just saying...and don't be fooled these perversions will become norm when more and more women become like men or become offputting to men. Then don't be surprised when a nice beautiful...giant ball of flaming destructive bomb coming from the sky as a punishment from Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) to many nations.

So I don't understand what these political leaders and politcal correctness and these laws are trying to do. What baffles me why 30% must be female soldiers? Why not 100%? Why not make all soldiers fighting in war 100% female? I think it is sexist, right, to indicate just 30% as if women cannot do 100% soldier. Why not stop there...why not have 100% all police officers female, all 100% firetrucker female who carry that heavy water hose with it's pressure, why not have 100% females carry humans from flaming building, why not have 100% go to electric poles and fix those electric energy, why not have 100% female deal with sewers and construct highrise buildings? Then for the sisters who posted here that men refuse to play gender roles...geeeeeeeee I wonder why.

What men want to play the gender role when all glory and appraises goes to women alone and only men are expected to do things like he is a maid and slave? Jeee...no wonder more and more and more men refuse to do any gender roles...when women are pushing men out of his role and she is trying to take his role. No wonder men refuses to play gender role when women uses children as weapon against me or law against him. No wonder men refuses to play gender role when in media and society he is constantly reminded he is inferior in intellect to women all the time.

No I understand why men are opting out and to me they should be. The problem with men it is not just society are devaluing his role but his wife also...so much like women who are feeling their roles as mothers and wife is demeaned so are men too. With future generation born in that energy...you will be hard push to find any men wanting to play a role that have the title, "It is your obligation and duty" with no reward or value or appraisel behind it like women get as mother, wife and as a female sex.

Don't be surprised everyone, you will see more boys wanting to be girls with that energy been thrown at them. Mark my word.

**irama** · 07-25-2022

Bigger problem for many is finding a person to marry. There's no reliable place to look. If you are using marriage aunties, even then it takes years for some not to mention amount $$$ these aunties charge. If you use matrimonial sites, they are not free, people are super picky, living in la la land, and/or most of the profiles are fake. With the imam it's limited to what the imam brings and that may not be a good match, and how long will the imam do that before he gives up. And then there's others you ask for help and they try to push someone's kid they want married onto you rather then see what's good for you. Saudi alone has over a million spinster (women over 30) that are single. So many in the west are single and going into 30s/40s trying to find someone.

**xboxisdead** · 07-25-2022

Originally Posted by irama

Bigger problem for many is finding a person to marry. There's no reliable place to look. If you are using marriage aunties, even then it takes years for some not to mention amount $$$ these aunties charge. If you use matrimonial sites, they are not free, people are super picky, living in la la land, and/or most of the profiles are fake. With the imam it's limited to what the imam brings and that may not be a good match, and how long will the imam do that before he gives up. And then there's others you ask for help and they try to push someone's kid they want married onto you rather then see what's good for you. Saudi alone has over a million spinster (women over 30) that are single. So many in the west are single and going into 30s/40s trying to find someone.

That is fine even if it is over 30 million who are single. Does it matter? Should we be worried? I don't think so. Anyone who does not want to get married and falls in that stats that is not something we should be worried about. It means that this person is not fit for marriage anyways. That person does not have the maturity or the readiness of taking such heavy responsibility or even wanting to take such responsibility. It takes an adult, a mature one at that, to get married. Majority of the new generations are either immature or not ready for such responsibilities for both sex. I would rather we don't breed new generation with such parents like these. So, good!!! Even if 70% of both men and women of the entire Earth are single, barren, or don't have children and never got married and died single and barren that is fine. As long as the remaining 30% are capable for the job and each know their responsibilities toward each other and treat each other the way it is commanded to treat each other from the Qura'an and the sunnah (prophet peace be upon him), then we are fine. You are saying a million spinster (funny how you specified women exclusively in this horror story) that are single, ever wondered what these women have in the heir hearts that got them to be single? Maybe they are feminist? Maybe they have feminist ideology? Maybe, they are the type who don't want to get married and instead wishes to work so they are independent, empowered and don't have a man controlling them? I say to those women, "Thank you! You go girl!" I mean it at the bottom my heart! Not joking here. While some just don't want to get married. Marriage is not something enforced or done by force, any women have the right to never get married, that is their right as a human being. So, they have their lives, you have yours, let us mind our own business with who wants to get married and who don't.

**irama** · 08-29-2022

Originally Posted by xboxisdead

That is fine even if it is over 30 million who are single. Does it matter? Should we be worried? I don't think so. Anyone who does not want to get married and falls in that stats that is not something we should be worried about. It means that this person is not fit for marriage anyways. That person does not have the maturity or the readiness of taking such heavy responsibility or even wanting to take such responsibility. It takes an adult, a mature one at that, to get married. Majority of the new generations are either immature or not ready for such responsibilities for both sex. I would rather we don't breed new generation with such parents like these. So, good!!! Even if 70% of both men and women of the entire Earth are single, barren, or don't have children and never got married and died single and barren that is fine. As long as the remaining 30% are capable for the job and each know their responsibilities toward each other and treat each other the way it is commanded to treat each other from the Qura'an and the sunnah (prophet peace be upon him), then we are fine. You are saying a million spinster (funny how you specified women exclusively in this horror story) that are single, ever wondered what these women have in the heir hearts that got them to be single? Maybe they are feminist? Maybe they have feminist ideology? Maybe, they are the type who don't want to get married and instead wishes to work so they are independent, empowered and don't have a man controlling them? I say to those women, "Thank you! You go girl!" I mean it at the bottom my heart! Not joking here. While some just don't want to get married. Marriage is not something enforced or done by force, any women have the right to never get married, that is their right as a human being. So, they have their lives, you have yours, let us mind our own business with who wants to get married and who don't.

You assume much, understand little. Many women are single because they got short end of the stick in life. Their mahrams didn't do their part in finding her a good partner. They single because their parents reject too many prospects because he wasn't xyz or didn't have xyz. They are single because their parents pushed for her education over marriage and now she is at the age that most men prefer younger than her. They are single because it's hard to find someone in today's society where no good channel exists in seeking out a partner. And there are equally other number of valid reasons why good muslim brothers/sisters are single and missing out on marriage despite them wanting it, through no fault of their own. Not all those who are single are feminist or have some other issue.

**xboxisdead** · 02-24-2023

Originally Posted by irama

You assume much, understand little. Many women are single because they got short end of the stick in life. Their mahrams didn't do their part in finding her a good partner. They single because their parents reject too many prospects because he wasn't xyz or didn't have xyz. They are single because their parents pushed for her education over marriage and now she is at the age that most men prefer younger than her. They are single because it's hard to find someone in today's society where no good channel exists in seeking out a partner. And there are equally other number of valid reasons why good muslim brothers/sisters are single and missing out on marriage despite them wanting it, through no fault of their own. Not all those who are single are feminist or have some other issue.

I don't care about that, anymore. There are so many endless cases where men get the end of the stick in life just as well. I don't care what women really want, why they are so many single women out there, why they cannot find a husband...blah blah blah....

I don't really care. And just to be equal here, same goes for men. No one says I am just focused on women alone...no...both genders...in fact, I don't care what happened to people period, I am not going to give myself headache anymore. I am done. I want to enjoy my life while I am still healthy. Soon...chronical disease going to come my way due to age and very soon the calling of my grave is going to be louder....this whole entire world and what is between it...is not worth it. Except of course for makkah and madina and the prophets and the kabah and haj and Qura'an and Islam. Outside islam and anything that is not about reminding me of Allah and making me come closer to Allah, I am not going to bother my head.

**cur1ous** · 02-25-2023

I know Muslim women from my family. Some are only housewives, others also work.

The main reason more and more women want to work after marriage now is for parity. For example, one of my aunts was married and had 2 daughters. When the youngest daughter was married off. Her husband divorced her and married a younger woman. Now there is nothing wrong with that in principle because it's his right to do so.

Whilst they were married. She stayed home and looked after him and her daughters. Because she was at home taking care of his children. He was able to work freely. During their marriage he purchased several properties and built up a successful property business. Everything was in his name. The business, the bank accounts.

After the divorce. He paid her for the iddah period and that was the end. He has a new young wife, a new daughter with his new wife. Several properties. A big bank account. She was a divorced woman in her mid forties with no personal wealth or property. She had to move in with her brother because her parents were also living with him.

She has a box room in her brothers house where she is working a minimum wage job and also being a maid for her brothers wife by doing the cooking and cleaning.

That's the case with many Muslim women who chose not to work during their marriages and were then divorced. They have nothing at all. If they're lucky they might find someone to remarry but they again become dependent on this new man and not themselves. They have to hope that he doesn't divorce them for someone new too.

So it makes perfect sense for women to work and to contribute to the house payments. For them to have their name listed on the deed for the house and have their own bank accounts too. It's just a way to safeguard themselves from a destitute future.

**Pure Purple** · 02-25-2023

I wanted to say this but couldn't find a proper word.

When I was working lot of women there said to me they didn't wanted to work but they don't have a choice.If anything happens to their husband they will be left alone in this world.It will not just affect their life but children's life as well.
Yes she has option to remarry but rarely someone wants to marry a divorce or widow woman with children. Even if man is divorce with kids, want her wife to keep ex husband's children at parents house and take care of his children only.
How painful for a woman this can be.

One of my school friend got married at young age.She barely passed 11th std.
Her parents were very strict, they were against getting girls high education.They cleraly said if girls get too much education she wont get a good peoposal.She was the most beautiful girl in my friend circle.She was not much interested in studying at, all she wanted to get married.She was the most girlish I can think of in my friend circle.
Huge collection of clothes bangles etc Her parents were rich.
When her marriage was arranged she was so happy as her in laws were living just opposite to her apartment.She was thinking I can meet my parents whenever I want to.
I was studying when she got married.Around after a year of her marriage I met her in a wedding of my friend.She was there too along with her in laws.We got excited.she asked me what are you doing I said studying and she said smiling it's good that you aren't married yet.I was thinking why she is saying like this .I asked her why what happened to you.She was silent .I was confuse then suddenly I realized someone standing behind me.She introduce me that she is her sister in law.I smiled for second.Then after a long pause when her sister in law move away she said oh she don't like me to talking to anyone.I was so scared felt so sad.How can be someone so controlling and why she is tolerating this.

Later on someone told me that her in laws dont allow her to meet even her parents and lot of things which I never imagined what she is going through
I never tired to contact her ever.she lives within 500m where I live but never got the chance to meet her.
If she was educated independent or parents were supportive probably she has taken divorce.But she didn't had a choice.Atleast parents should have given her share in property as they are rich.She could have decided for divorce.
Lot of probl3m comes from parents side as well for not supporting even if they can support her .

A lot of man suffer too, sacrificing their happiness for children's sake, for a wife who don't care for husband but only difference is that he is doing this to save a family , for Allah's sake.He is not scared what will happen to me if my wife leaves me as he is financially independent.
I dont much believe in feminist agenda but that's harsh reality of society. It's not a muslim women's problem rather societal issue.