Should I hurry my studies for a job for a particular girl I wish to marry?

**SintoDinto** · 02-02-2024

I have been in love with my childhood friend for a long time, but for awhile i thought she hated me. but then she clarified she didn't, and we could "be friends" but I freemixed and was a bit manic due to not taking my meds and mistakenly thought she wasnt enjoying her time with me so i went to the other side of the room (not sure if this was before i clarified things) i proposed quickly to another sister, and she said no....again. the sister i knew as a child got mad, and didnt want to interact at eid. i want to marry her, but im worried im beyond forgiveness, and she is graduating with her master's next year, whereas if i hurry up and overload myself with classes, i may be able to finish my bachelor's next year. (i had gaps in my studies, shes actually younger than me), and im thinking of either entering a phd program in my social science area of study or teaching (history). should i overload myself with classes from two universities so she doesn't marry someone else. i cant go on if she marries someone else. my dreams ever since i was a 10 year old boy will have been broken, and i will be heartbroken to the point of wanting suicide.

**SintoDinto** · 02-03-2024

ive actually figured out a way to major in math and earn more money, and still graduate at the same time as her, if i take even less classes, but still overload myself with classes

**xboxisdead** · 02-18-2024

I am sorry brother, but if she was my daughter and found you free mixed with her and you have your eyes on her, and have these thoughts with suicide and take medication, first thing I would do is pull her out of school right away. Take her to a different country, Muslim country and to an all-female school. 100% female, not one single male there, not even the janitor. All the washrooms there will be 100% female washrooms. No door for males to enter there, that is the type of school she would go too. And I will find all means of cutting any ties between you and her or resources to find her. Simple. Next, I would come to you and tell you...you are not fit for marriage. You have physical and mental healing you need to work on first. Medication, therapy, etc. We need to make sure you are 100% ok in the mind and body, and no... not so you can marry my daughter, so you are considered a suitable husband for other people's daughter period. So, you are suited for marriage period. Having you in this state as a husband, father and leader of your home is a formula for Jerry Springer Show in steroid. In additional to that you will be raising future monsters.

So many red flags came out of this post:
1) There is a huge common statistic, majority of the cases where daughters conspire with their haraam lover to kill her parents: mother or father, so they can continue haraam relationship.
2) Free mixing.
3) Infatuation to a girl and desiring her as a child instead of been a normal little boy.
4) Obsession to that one single girl and talking to her and having lovey-dovey to a non-mahram girl all haram, all wrong and ZERO BARAKAH...MARRIAGE FROM THIS WILL BE ZERO BARAKAH.
5) Pills and committing suicide if you no longer can see her? Really? You know stories like yours are when men kill their loved women to avoid anyone else taking her away from him. If I cannot have you no one can.
5) Also, I will be scared for my life. I don't know what you will do to me and to my family. Will you kill me to get to her?
6) I fear you are one inch away from stocking her. So please brother, stop this before you become another statistic.

**SintoDinto** · 02-19-2024

Originally Posted by xboxisdead

I am sorry brother, but if she was my daughter and found you free mixed with her and you have your eyes on her, and have these thoughts with suicide and take medication, first thing I would do is pull her out of school right away. Take her to a different country, Muslim country and to an all-female school. 100% female, not one single male there, not even the janitor. All the washrooms there will be 100% female washrooms. No door for males to enter there, that is the type of school she would go too. And I will find all means of cutting any ties between you and her or resources to find her. Simple. Next, I would come to you and tell you...you are not fit for marriage. You have physical and mental healing you need to work on first. Medication, therapy, etc. We need to make sure you are 100% ok in the mind and body, and no... not so you can marry my daughter, so you are considered a suitable husband for other people's daughter period. So, you are suited for marriage period. Having you in this state as a husband, father and leader of your home is a formula for Jerry Springer Show in steroid. In additional to that you will be raising future monsters.

So many red flags came out of this post:
1) There is a huge common statistic, majority of the cases where daughters conspire with their haraam lover to kill her parents: mother or father, so they can continue haraam relationship.
2) Free mixing.
3) Infatuation to a girl and desiring her as a child instead of been a normal little boy.
4) Obsession to that one single girl and talking to her and having lovey-dovey to a non-mahram girl all haram, all wrong and ZERO BARAKAH...MARRIAGE FROM THIS WILL BE ZERO BARAKAH.
5) Pills and committing suicide if you no longer can see her? Really? You know stories like yours are when men kill their loved women to avoid anyone else taking her away from him. If I cannot have you no one can.
5) Also, I will be scared for my life. I don't know what you will do to me and to my family. Will you kill me to get to her?
6) I fear you are one inch away from stocking her. So please brother, stop this before you become another statistic.

i didnt take pills to committ suicide. i take pills regularly for mental health conditions i have and this particular night i forgot to take them. mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of or stigmatize.