You know we had a young member with the smallkid screen name. I didnt know him so much. He was a muslim but finally he had some troubles as much as I understand and he posted some threads in which he questioned the justice of Allah.
We can see that he has been just banned because one of our Moderators thought that he was insulting Allah. I personally could not find any direct insult to Allah or any of our holy subjects in his threads.
I am strongly against this action. He was facing some troubles and we kicked him one more step away from Allah. Maybe one of our members were going to answer his questions. If we become that much merciless how can we expect the Mercy of Allah?
Really? Was he banned? I would have to read through his posts again but unless I missed something I did not think he said anything blasphemous or anything like that.
Allahu Al'am.
Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, Thabbit Qalbi Ala Deenik
Oh turner of the Hearts make my heart firm on Your Deen
And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him.” [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]
Well I'm not quite sure bro but I think some people probably find it a bit upsetting to read but who are we to judge an impulse.
And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him.” [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]
I think some people probably find it a bit upsetting to read but who are we to judge an impulse.
I think smallkid was a troubled young man, if he cannot find support here, then where else can he turn? I think if he had been able to find support in his home town, then he might not have needed to come to this forum.
I disagree with the ban as well, but I'm not in full possession of the facts, and perhaps this occurred after several warnings. It looks to me very much like a kid who needs help and advice, though, not punishment. Of course it's not my decision and the mods are entitled to do what they want.
What really surprises me is that this thread right here hasn't been deleted yet.
Its a very familiar feeling although worded extremely badly..
Everybody has good days and bad days.. As the Quran says:
Al-hajj
And among mankind is he who worships Allah as it were, upon the very edge (i.e. in doubt); if good befalls him, he is content therewith; but if a trial befalls him, he turns back on his face (i.e. reverts back to disbelief after embracing Islam). He loses both this world and the Hereafter. That is the evident loss.
Most people live on edge and to be different either requires a lot of "luck" or a lot of learning.
May Allah swt protect is from the evil of our own selves and the evil of the shaitan and his followers..
If you were in smallkid position, would you still trust Allah?. If you can easily say "I would", it's mean you are not in his position.
I have seen many things in my life, I have seen people who lost their trust on Allah. But then they rediscover the love of Allah, through other people who decide to not leave them.
If we close our door for the lost people, then they would go to find another door, and would never come back to us.
maybe i'm writing all this down for no reason, i mean maybe its of no use but with 0. 01% hope this might help i'm going to take a chance in helping him.
assalam aliakum brother. sorry! this is as precise as i could get! but..but..but... this can change your life! i went through aaaaallllll your threads and really wanted to take a chance in helping you out. so sorry to everyone else, i guess all this is going to be irrelevant stuff...
that might be an offensive start but i feel like the problem with you is:
1) you're not considering any of the advice that so many people here offered
2) you expect help from everyone else and from ALLAH(swt) but you ARE NOT HELPING YOURSELF!!!
3) you know you're failing at stuff and your duas are being rejected(not really) and you're all that list of 88 and blah blah(i dont mean it) but you fail to accept it and you're not moving on!!!thats usually said to teenagers but i think some adults need it too: that its not the end of the world so move on!!! if this has been happening to you for years why ain't you used to it until now??? u r not accepting what you've got! and you're stuck with your past.
4) you think just because you're giving sadaqah and helping others and praying tahajjud and all, ALLAH(swt) will hand you everything you want??? no! you need to work for it your self and ask for ALLAH(swt)'s guidance. its not some trade corporation man..its something more deeper and complicated. and wait, so on one side you're doing all this good stuff and on the other hand committing the biggest and the only unforgivable sin, shirk. you think the good should pay up but what about all the millions of sins we've committed???ok lets say there was no such thing you did before but are you sure you have done nothing wrong? like never? i dont think so
5) you are soooo frustrated, which is again a sin ,and you know that, yet you dont do anything about it!!! and you expect ALLAH(swt) to get you out of it. how could you be committing a sin, wittingly, and be like i want ALLAH(swt) to help me...and then i'll stop committing that sin??? ...like seriously man????
6) you've got acedemic excellence, a supportive family, a financially well background, a good job, masha allah no serious illness(exluding your mental health), a couple of childhood friends that YOU ENJOY DINING WITH EVERY SINGLE WEEK!!!MASHA ALLAH! and you're not happy....like how could you afford to say that?!?!?!?!?!?! its not like if you're a failure at 25 then there's nothing that can be done in the later years or something like that! did you learn or even consider anything that mr.timi scar said??? and ardianto and mr.greenhill. instead you reply to him with a list of 88 negetive stuff about you and maybe thats not the case for most of the people here but there are soooooo many people out there that possess the same qualities....including me..well i could actually add a couple of hundred more.
now you've not clearly stated your ordeal situation or what you're failing at or something but i'm going to talk about everything you said. so first existance of god has to be felt and searched for its not like you'll do something good and then you'll feel ALLAH(swt)'s existance. about that anjelina jolie and katrina kafe or whatever her name is...well, ALLAH(swt) wont let you marry them cz they are bad influence and they can be like...a thingy..between you and your deen!! and your deen matters most doesn't it??? and also because you may not be happy with them and maybe there's something more specaial awaiting for you!! why those pretty fake faces???? ALLAH(swt) knows us better than we know our selves ok? he is ALL-KNOWING.
ALLAH(swt) is the best planner! alot of the people here have already mentioned this but i want to repeat it agian, that if ALLAH(swt) is not giving or granting or blessing you with something worldly you want, then there has to be something bad in there for you! and stop blaming ALLAH(swt) for what has been happening to you .haven't u heard: take less of the credit and more of the blame?(i know thats for leadership qualities but lets just put it in here too ok)
i always had a hard time trying to understand taqdeer or nasseb or muqadar or luck or i dont know what that complicated thing is; that our life depends on, like you know ALLAH has written it down...well maybe your life depends on it but that thingy is made of your own intensions! i'm not sure if this is true(because thats what my teacher told me- pardon me if i'm wrong) but how i understood, it was this way: some good sheikh or imam, i guess, explained it something roughly like: he told someone to stand on one leg and he did and then asked the person to raise his other leg and he says he cant and then the imam says something like the one leg, that was supporting his body to stand with was in controle or in hands or something of ALLAH, and the other free one is all your to rule or controle ...or something.. hence, use your other leg!!!!! and stop blaming ALLAH for it!!!! maybe all the bad stuff was in your that thingy but its you're chioce how to deal with it! and you're so damn lucky you have soooo much people supporting you, not only these people here but your family too, that you mentioned...how could you just sit back with sooo much support and advice???? do you know there are soooo many loosers out there...including me..you have a hard time taking decisions? you're hasty?
ps. if you dont want to read about my life then skip to the *********** please.
i know theres little common between us like u're 25 and i'm 14 and you have a good supportive family, i got an abusive and hateful mom and brother, you work but it doesn't mean anything to you. and here's me whose life depends on the £10 daily wage that i get from working as a dish washer(currently i'm temporarily something else,its just some kind of voluteer work) and i feel so happy about it! and like my whole life, all my expenses, except for education and shelter depend on it.
plus i have to give £50 to my mom every month because once i got into something really bad(hacking facebook accounts and then i was caught...like in a day) and then was fined and i have to pay back my mom for that plus i dont get any pocket money either because of it plus i put some money away for charity too, not much but like £2 out of the £10.
i have always been the very non-serious and silly and while being shoved to extremes there was absolutely no one by my side to support me or guide me or even believe me or believe that i was really going through hard times because i was 11, to 14, no one exept ALLAH(swt). i've been told by so many people stuff like why dont u just die? or u should have committed suicide by now. or wow you're still alive??..or why dont u just give up looser?!?! AND THESE PEOPLE INCLUDE MY MOM AND MY BROTHER TOO! i got a mom and a brother who remind me they hate me EVERY SINGLE DAY, verbally. they both start yelling at each other every single midnight and i, first try to stay patient, if i've had enough then holler out to them to listen to each other( they both got no point so there's no way those skirmishes can be solved), at times they just stop and at times both turn against me and wont stop until i leave the house and then have to stay the night out! ALONE! OBVIOUSLY IT WAS SO SCARY AT FIRST but now i'm used to it. and i have no best friends..yeah some good wise old friends that are all(almost) above 60.(i had been working at an old home, not really working but like helping...for which i got money)
and if i summurise my school life for the past 3 years(back in southern wales):
ALL(almost) the teachers hate me, and like my class mates, they can insult the **** out of me, because once or twice i was like it's ok...because i couldn't make some one feel bad. so now anyone can say anything. forexample someone asks me why i am sad and i be like nothing..just leave me alone and then the other person be like yeah leave her alone! she's not worth helping...even if they dont mean it, it hurts sooooo bad! and when i really started considering my religion and all and started appyling it and explaining it and yeah all that stuff fakerameen mentioned..i mean shouting at people, my whole class turns up against me and address me as an ...extremist in simple words..
they would do anything to annoy me. this one time we got some project and i was paired up with a girl who constantly kept talking to her friend about her crush and after some time i be like whats so interesting about boys??? i yell loud enough for the whole class to hear. well, guess what? i'm called lesbian from that day onwards, its like the chinese whispers and then i keep explaining to them that its not allowed in islam and then what that girl does is puts my name on some islam marraige site and gives all my real details like my address and then this one guy about 25-35 is at my home WITH HIS PARENTS. as i come home from school my mom slaps me in the face and that guy be says i cant believe a 12 year old could do all that and they all start cursing and ... i guess you can imagine the rest of it..and i was there like what the heck is happening??? but who was going to believe me? no one!i cried, i shouted, i stayed quite, nothing worked. no one believed me!
and whats even worse is that the next day at school everyone thinks i'm getting married!!!
after some days she apologises and i dont take a second to forgive her... because i cant.
and this has not happened once. after this another drama started: some guy from my brother's class appeared out of no where and tells me he loves me and he had been for years and...*i dont remeber the rest of it-it was like a whole lecture* and after hes done i be like soooo who are you? and he murmurs something and turns away but some time later there's a whole page on facebook, created by "rameen" that supporrts...i'm scared of even mentioning it ...and on the other hand there's another account of my name that smuts my charater so bad (admitting its rameen again). and i guess you can imagine people's reactions. that page was deleted within 2 days but the accounts....well i reported about one and he created another, this went on for a month and then its not working, in the mean time i loose patience and express a little anger in the comments and everyone's like o look, another drama.. then i started hacking those accounts and the next day i was caught! again, all along, who was going to believe me? because huh, i was doing that for attention! like yeah insulting the **** out of myself for attention???? and yet another drama here on islamic board by mr.fakerameen,the most wise age fellow i had ever met, who lived in the lower story of the same house i did, the good boy! well he didn't post anything i should be ashamed off but this could be really annoying! think of how you would feel if someone's pretending to be you! but thanks to muslim lawyer,god bless him, he's caught and disappears quitely BUT i was one step away from being sent to swat(in pakistan). my mom thinks i was the one doing all that because i'm the bad one and he was always a really quite and shy person! and i cant believe he thinks i get attention....like seriously this kind of attention???
anyroad, after all this when i express a little anger and yeah a bit violence at times(coming back to times in wales)..my whole class postulates against my behavior...nothing could really be proved and i was only 12 too. but since it was a private school "some of the parents were really concerned about my suspicious behavior and of their child's safety", i was expelled
and then my mom put me in boarding school! and there my life was screwed up too! my mom thought i'd learn something good there. i learn to speak crapp! for example one day this guy kept talking to me in math class about i have no idea what something like i remind him of something and then when i am done with my work...i look up and everybody's waiting for my reply. expecting me to get up and beat him up or reply in the most immature way ever... now i instead be like you remind me of something too..a king..*he sits straight in pride*..i go on..that king had caught a spy and that spy be like i have something really precious to offer here if you'll spare my life the king be like ok and then the spy brings up an empty tray and the king gets really mad but the spy be like this is a dress that only smart people can see and the king be like yeah ofcourse i can see it. i just wanted to check if my people can see it too and everybody agrees they do and from that day on the king wears that dress, i mean walk around naked..so he was the king and i was the spy... i know that made no sense and was too insulting and pathetic and inappropriate but my whole class including the teacher were waiting for me to say something so i just made that up! AND THATS WHEN I STARTED SPEAKING NON-SENSE! now while on our way back to school from spring break his girlfriend...puts a gun in my bag pack. do i have to mention i got expelled??? but hey please note within a month or so she was caught...hi hi...CCTV cameras at entrances could be really useful. AND THEN I GOT BACK INTO THE SAME SCHOOL I WAS EXPELLED AT FIRST AND THIS TIME I'M A GRADE HIGHER THAN MY PREVIOUS CLASS MATES! NOW THEY CANT DARE TO DO OR SAY ANYTHING(but my new classmates in nintht grade can but now i'm temporarily in pakistan. so more new class mates again...but i'm going back man!! haha!)
to be honest i did nothing herioc or something. nothing like MR.timi scar..infact we're opposites. unlike scimi dickens ruined my life and unlike scimi my writing expression sucks. i just got alot closer to my religion while trying to find answers. there wasn't a time i even thought of giving up. i seriously dont know how i went through all that and still am. 2 months i'm in pakistan and now when i think of my life back in wales....it just makes so much sense...and INSHA ALLAH it will be better when i go back this time! hope so!
theres stuff you dont learn by verbal teaching, you learn it the hard way!
my life hasn't changed much, unlike all these good people here my life is still a mess. i mean until today no one takes me seriously and anybody can offend me with no hesitation after they've known me for a week and even if they realise it i be like nahhh its ok.even though its not. and even in a place like pakistan i stay some nights out because of the unrest at home (mind you i'm living in an airforce base so its safe here). and yes i did have alot of bad experience in the streets!(in wales) i still have millions of questions to ask that no one would answer here in pakistan too. here there are people alot better and since i act quite different than others some uncle insisted he wanted to take me to a phycaitrist and i guess i told her alittle way too much... guess what?? she thinks i got agraphobia, zelophobia, decidophobia, telophobia, zeusophobia and then... we go home and.... start laughing..everyone thinks i'm mad...I THINK THEY'RE TALKING *******S!!!..who's going to believe all that??? this time ME is not believing any of it! and when i was taken to phyciatrists and therapists(back in wales) they thought i had alexithimia and all kinds of aphasia and post traumatic stress disorder and schizotypical personality disorder and all the phobias this pakistani phyciatrist mentioned and that i need proper medication and treatment.( hell no, i didn't take any) all along there was school, i was going through puberty, working, giving charity, struggling to understand my religion and dealing with my broken and abusive family but all that i concentrated on was my religion. and thats why now i have a hard time with everything else! but i'm happy
and hey I MIGHT KNOW LITTLE MORE THAN DOING MISTAKES AND MY HOMEWORK because i know that NO! people who got no deen and are anti-islamic are not the happiest.(that you think) I'M THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE!!! and i know inshahallah one day i'll be a good muslim and i'll learn patience and when i go back to wales(in a month or so)i'll start memorising quran too!(already started but i guess its equal to...nothing) for now, IM FLAWSOME ! i thought by 14 i would have memorised quran and done a'levels and would have joined army and beaten ........but......its ok..i know one day inshallah ALLAH will answer my prayers...maybe... anyroad, for now my goal is to promote to the HIGHer position of a waitress before reaching 15-had enough with all these crappy jobs man! and dont you dare shut me up with the fact that you're 25 and i'm 14 because i might be 14 but i'm not an ordinary 14 year old, i'm the savior of muslim ummah ok(in future inshah allah)! and that kind of person should not be eating leftovers and wondering the streets and doing homework and have zero achievments! BUT i know ALLAH wants me to go through hard times so that i'll have some experience when i grow up INSHAH ALLAH. AND at seven only mariya from england has memorised entire quran(yeah i read that here), emperor akbar ascended the mughal throne at 14,branden bramerr had started reading at 18 months and graduated high school at ten, 15 year old charles bishop flies a plane into the bank of america, there are a million kids in Pakistan suffering from child labour and millions more in africa and many other countries who support their entire families, Mr.farhan here who owns an entire ISLAMIC forum at 15 or 16(he OWOUUUNNNNED IT IN 2012 and he's 19 now so...well, not sure if daddy let him ascend to the throne...), an 8 year old syrian boy saves his sister from sniper fire, varun jain has a perfect SAT score at 14 and so many more kids younger than me who have done sooooo much. and here's me...who's done.....nothing! do mistakes count? if so then YHASSSS; millions!
***************** ok so this is what new i had to say:
at the end i want to share something...this is an example of how ALLAH punishes me for every single bad deed: i cant believe how obstinate i am, i'm still writing this down... its 15 40, sunday, 10th of june while i was writing the bad stuff about me, trust me i had this feeling ALLAH(swt) was so mad at me but i kept on writing it down, so you, my big brother, dont feel like you're alone but trust me i stopped when this really bad earthquake just hit us here in pakistan.....trust me really bad.....i am crying so badddd right now.and i dont normaly cry ok, first time in two months ok! i feel like ALLAH(swt) just punished my whole country because of me.....i am so scared of opening the tv...it was for like.. fudging 2 to 4 minutes non-stop....i am feeling so goddamn dizzy..it feels as if everything's still moving....i cant believe how ALLAH wont say anything to you who's complaining so badly about everything and here i am, when i share my bad experiences i'm treated like this. if it wasn't for the earthquake there was alot more...police and all kinds of abuse and being send to an orphange(that was at 3, when my dad left, but then my grandparents got me back!) man... fear ALLAH(swt)..........dont ever dare to disobey his commands. you'll really regret this....i am.... i'm still feeling so dizzy....shukar alhamdullilah no serious damage to my home or my neighbours but i'm not sure about others. ASTAGHFIRULLAH. may ALLAH(swt) help and forgive sinful me....and you....... i checked the news, ALHAMDULLILAH, no serious damage anywhere ! but that was scary man! it really was......
so this is what i mean to say: 1) you're not the only one who's unblessed and possesess a hundred and 88 bad qualities and struggling with religion 2) i never blamed ALLAH(swt) for what had been happening to me, instead i tried to find reasons why all this happened to me and tried to feel ALLAH(swt)'s existance everywhere. and pretended as if he was really talking to me at times, like literally(yeah..i still do..).ALLAH(swt) does not have to literally make you feel or show you his existance, its everywhere if you make a little effort in trying to realize it. 3) your intensions and your faith matters more than you giving sadaqah or praying tahajjud. 4) i tried to understand why all this was happening to me..for example i understand i had older friends, than friends my own age, because ALLAH knew my mom wouldn't be useful in those times so he gave me these wise old friends, who had sooo much experience in life and when i was going through puberty all along i'd just go to them and ask them what to do and kind of followed them blindly... or like i dont have a father because if i did then he wouldn't allow me to go on adventures( i mean wondering the streets, at night) which is the coolest thing i could do!and if i wasn't poor(no not that poor but like middle class) then i wouldn't be working and wouldn't be able to give charity 5) if you've been let down so much get used to it. 6) i recommend war instead of frustration..because war is allowed(only in particular cases obviously; hey! i only used that when someone attacked my religion) but frustration is never allowed. no one taught me that, i myself made that up, like according to islam if you're being offended or attacked or you know got an enemy then you got all those options you give to the enemy and the last is war! or bloodshed!(i know thats for jihad(by states) but i was called a jihadist so i searched about it and followed that way...well i had no other choice, i know that doesn't make sense-pardon me!) 7) i think maybe i was and AM being punished for the fact that i loose patience at times and be like let me handle it ALLAH!and i yell at people and be like everything's my fault and yeah that "WAR" thing i made up. 8) u got no talent...well me too. theres so much stuff that doesn't require talent, forexample one that i discovered was basketball! it was two years back and with a little practice throwing the ball in the hoop from the free throw line was a piece of cake! and i was known for basket ball in the downtown! and now in pakistan whenever we got p.e class, the a'levels students too jion in because they think i'm real competition! 9) some stuff you learn better the hard way! 10) ALLAH(swt) does not hand you the signs, they are always there, everywhere, u just need to look closely to anything thats happening to you and man that link, the trainee mod BeTheChange provides answers it ALL why you're being tested, going through hard times.*no no i'm not saying ALLAH loves me *... yeah obviously 10 years is too much but there are sooooooo many people that have suffered for so much more years. 11) even if the advice people give you( lets say in my case an old man told me to not talk back to elders, i started using that for stuff i did not want to talk or think about. for example the teacher asks me why i'm late, i dont want to answer her, she keeps on demanding an answer, i tell her i'm late bacause i'm late, politely with my head down) is really not fit for u're ordeal situation...you can edit it a little and use it for relating cicumstances. 12) your religion should not be blamed for hard timings, its your own fault!
and dont blow me up with the fact that you're 25 and i'm 14. because at 25 you're totally independent and in your jawani! so you can try so much stuff with no limitations and boundries. and dont tell me i'm 14 so i got lots of untried things, well at 25 u think u've tried everything??? no. and if you've tried a thousand things than why not a hundred more or atleast one.. have you read THE ALCHEMIST BY PAULO CEOLHO? i remember this part of it: *some conversation is going on* "but what if i can't?" "then you'll die in the midst of trying to realise your destiny. that's alot better than dying like millions of other people, who never knew what their destinies were."
... please...today at night get out somewhere alone and go through all your threads again and try putting all the useful advice from all these good muslims here but this time you reform yourself, get back your faith and thank ALLAH for what you've got including eeman, most importantly. and ask for forgiveness from ALLAH(swt) AND THANK HIM FOR EVERYTHING. and when you become a better muslim then start over again in achieving whatever you like aaaannnnddd... bob's your uncle!!!
and man i appreciate the fact that you haven't given up on life unlike many other cowards that would have.
and what is that dua that allah wont accept of yours, i mean particularly what? or is it that you're just bored and fed up of life? not me but maybe others here could help you better if you're more specific of what bad is happening to you. is it that you're not getting a good jod? is it katrina kafe or some other girl? everything is going down hill? you've lost some precious stuff? been decieved ? hard time getting on with an independent adult life? vice versa of every dua you ask? hard time in acceting ALLAH's miracles and blessings? well, after reading alllllll that you had to say, i think you're either going through one or all of these...... did you try travelling, i mean travel to another city or country..maybe a different environment might have a influence.(that worked for me. and please dont tell me you cant because if i can do that why cant you?) did you try to know YOURSELF why all this particular stuff was happening to you? did you try getting a job that you think is not what you deserve but just accept it? like its enough to fullfill your basic needs?you dont need money to stay happy, you need satisfaction! no matter how bad your life is,all this time did u ever try counting ur blessings?did you realise how much you would have been rewarded if you did so? have you tried EVERYTHING? most importantly: DID YOU TRY TO CHECK IF THAT WAS BLACK MAGIC? tried working on physical fitness but what about ur mental health? been to phyciatrists and therapists(i know that's embarassing but it's worth the pain you're in now man)? and did you try giving yourself some time, like a break and work on your inner self, your faith, i mean over and over again, if you had become a good muslim well you should know that good muslims dont loose faith in hard times!
because your faith is not something you loose when you're going through a bad time, or blame it on. its something that is burried with you inside in your grave and resurrected with, that means it stays with you forever! your soul reason for existance in this world is following ALLAH's command, how could you afford to complain about your master who's the most merciful and rehman and rahim??? people are scared of their boses and scared of other wordly stuff like as for girls lets say...cockroaches and say for you critics but aren't afraid of the master of all mankind and creation! and people get paid if they're doing their job right and we are getting paid here by ALLAH for what? complaining about his absence???? then how could you question the master and creater and owner of all the creation known to mankind?????who does not complain about the corruption we do and have destroyed his beautiful earth that he trusted us with? do you realise how lucky you are because even after all this ALLAH did not take anything else away from you? like your wealth and money and health and stuff!
all the good stuff that you do you will get rewarded for it in this world, in the hereafter and that also has to be used "for cleansing your sins", as sabr says . and then think of how much bad deeds we do and all those mistakes, at times knowingly, yet ALLAH grantes so much! and well you've got acedemic excellance. you think everybody got it? no! a financially well and suppotive background...like what other resources do you want? you've got all that you NEED! you just dont make use of it to satify yourself! and you can clearly explain what you're trying to say(unlike me)! you've got hands and fingers and a brain to type, to express your feelings here! there are so many people out there that are disabled and mentally ill and dying of hunger and droughts. and who got no internet access to take all that golden advice of bethechange, ardianto, timi scar, greenhill, serinity, sabr, and i dont remember how many more.
and ok now this is as mature as i could get: what i'd do if i were u,i mean i had all that you had and was in your place with your state of my mind; i'd quit my job and take my road to become a scholar! i'm serious. look, this working at this bussiness thang doesn't work out for me nor does many of the other jobs that i've tried right? and i'm almost failing my deen. so why dont i become someone who's so close to deen and got good duniya too! and i'm also good in acedemics, so studying and learning more and more should not be a problem for me. people will always be there, conspiring. so i'll ignore them and like everyone says you're never to old to learn. and wait, i'm 25 any road,i dont think that's old enough to switch to that, is it? or i would join army, navy or airforce and be of some real service to my country.(wait can an mba do that? if so then do try!) dont you dare to end your near engagement..first you complain your life is stagnent and now you're not ready to let it change?!?! man for god's sake dont give me another list of ur negetive qualities. and for god's sake man why do you keep saying they were PROPHETS, if they were prophets does that mean they dont have feelings, dont get hurt? yeah they were pious people with no flaws sent on this earth to guide mankind but that doesn't help in baring pain! and the same way we are sent on this earth to be tested!and that doesn't help in baring pain but you have to keep doing your job! and you say you've been tested enough?!?! man your whole life on this earth IS a test! i am an imperfect and sinful human with but my faith is ALLAH is alot stronger than you and thats the only thing that made me write all this down. please.. after all of my bad experience here i still gathered guts to post this. i just insulted the **** out of me and also man everybody here is like so rich, like you and ardianto and scimi and....then there's me..aaaaaa
sorry! i'm not a good writer! *UHUMMM UHUMMM..I STILL MANAGE TO GET AN A+ IN ENGLISH...nonono..i dont show my skills to everyone.*
1) ugly-me too; both inside and outside 2)stupid-most stupid person known to mankind 3) dumb witted-me too 4) moron-me too 5) fat-me too 6) bald-hated by everyone 8) nervous-me too 9) underconfident-under the underconfident-have to think a thousand times before starting up a conversation 10) Not a very good talker-i can never explain 11) shy-loser 12) girl repeller-boy and GIRL repeller(yeah, because i've been addressed as lesbian) 13) people repeller in general-people that i need repel me while others enjoy making fun of me 14) few friends-no friends 15) no passion- my passions:no passion..or maybe if eating counts then yes 16) no talent-same here 17) ailments- despite of my ****ed up life i've got no ailments 18) weak-physicaly a lot stronger than people my own age and best at hiding my emotions which is why people can say anything and i pretend its ok when it actually kills me on the inside 19) suicidal thoughts-a total failure but still keep dreaming of stuff i can not even afford to think of 20) waswas-*i have no idea what that is*prayers for own-self never answered while i watched how MY prayers for others were answered on the spur of the moment 21) self hate- have to pretend as if i like myself because of my religion 22) self loathing- the thought of romance, marriage, love fills me with loathing 23) mentally retarded may be- certified metally retarted 24) no achievments- absolutely no acheivements 25) no deen- pretend as if i'm a good muslim, i mean in reality i keep trying have patience in hard times and controle my anger but never succeed 26) nonduniya- can never believe compliments *as if i get them everyday* 27) hated by Allah-not sure about that one but dead sure everybody in my life wants me dead 28) nonprayers ever answered-all prayers answered either late or vice-versa 29) dependent on others-independent at puberty, got no shoulder to cry on 30) laughing stock-same here 31) life going no where-life going downhill and ME IS WATCHING EVERYTHING, HAPPY AND SATISFIED! 32) one of the most stupid and dumb person alive-nahhh not ONE of the most stupid and dumb person alive, i AM the most stupid and dumb person alive 33) Weird- nothing non-weird about me or my life 34) eerie- been told i'm a terrorist( i mean violent and aggressive) 35) bad personality- good personality treated as a bad one that forces me to become bad at times 36) Very much a piece of trash and crap- same here 37) everything I want happens exactly opposite- same here 38) bad luck- got absolutely no idea what luck is or what its got for me 39) Immature- same here 40) still a small kid at 24- cant decide if i'm 7 at 14 or 70 at 14 41) feels everyone hates me-everyone ADMIT they hate me 42) incontentment-happy with a worse life than any other 14 year old i've met(i mean MET) 43) things do not happen the way I want- same here 44) No sins and yet Allah has abandoned me-so many sins yet ALLAH wont abandon me and i'm so ashamed of that 45) 25 years of pain- 14 years of distress and chaos and pain(that i dont feel...) 46) Careleas- super irresponsible - lacking selfrespect and manners 47) Hasty- absurd 48) Absent minded-livin in a imaginary world,yeah absent minded in the real world 49) mood swings- emotionless, you could say. same old -_- face at bad and funny times and at noraml times (been told i look so retarded cz of that) 50) Crying during prayers-want to cry so hard and bad but cant always do that.- cant make myself do anything 51) I think I want to come closer to Allah and he does not want me to-i cannot deal with complications, either choose all of the options or none of them 52) twice being rejected-been asked out by 14 arseholes in 14 years who always they ended up making fun of me and hurting me so bad or atleast later telling me how bad the idea of it would have been 53) No hope-hope and faith are i guess all i got inside, nothing more, no love no emotions.. 54) end of the world for me after failures- time to take another, bigger risk after hard times -i have no idea when i'll learn from failures 55) will not be any younger and what I have done or achieved is zero- me too 56) Always bad choices- can never choose between the simplist stuff 57) Always let my parents and others take my decision- nobody takes responsibility of me, i can go to scotland from wales for 6 days at 13. and when i return and want to share my stories, nobody's interested 58) No purpose-pretend as if the reason for me living is to save this world when in reality i've got ZERO leadership qualities 59) No direction-allll directions(i have to become a professionall basketball player, an engineer, an archiect, a quran teacher, a scholar, an imam, bussiness woman(i cant even spell bussiness) a revolutionist and so much more) 60) weird and Stupid-you repeated that-being a muslim girl i could not wear hijab when i wanted to do so, so badly 61) Ugly and Bald- you repeated that!- strangers doubt my gender, staring at me from top to bottom, because i was always dressed as my basketball mates,like a thug! 62) Fat and a complete failure-u repeated that-got no idea how i get A+s or even pass tests when i in reality understand absolutely nothing 63) case study for others what not to be- always think of positives and the negetives end up effecting me more yet i still pretend to know and care about the positives 64) Hate myself-u repeated that!- always ended up regreting it when i trusted someone with my secrets 65) Incredibally dumb witted- no one to believe in me or stand by me 66) Really slow in mind- really slow in making progress and learning 67) Cannot get over issues and failures- so much used to failures and insult, i cant be fagged by it. 68) bad temper- really bad temper-always shirty- once i'm talking to this guy who's giving me that silient treatment.i ask him to say something, he instead leans forward to kiss and i end up sitting on top of him punching him in the face. 69) Confused-i never understand others or am influenced by them, what other's say goes in one ear and out of the other...at times i have no idea what people are talking about 70) Hate myself- u keep repeating that man!-for the past 5 years, people, i mean old people, coffee shop customers(they got cookies and other bakery stuff too) and now cadets, give me their left over food that is actually my meal(first while i worked at the oldhome, then at a cafe as a dishwasher, and now as a helper of a cook for PAF cadets) 71) Overthinking- no thinking, like not at all, and its worse than overthinking 72) No friends- me too, but yeah good old people around( in wales), whom i dont understand at ALL and they never understand me either 73) no enjoyment- enjoyment and non-seriousness in the most harsh times too 74) Even eating has become a chore- girls got hand bags they keep so much stuff in, i got a bagpack i keep food in to keep me alive 75) spending ramadan in ibadat and dhikr and yet so much fog-happy and can never complain about anything, EVER because i feel like i deserve all that bad and wont be able to accept it all at once on qayamma 76) see other people happy despite doing all sort of anti and unislamic acts- *type that in google and u'll get the answer ok*-got an unsupportive and broke family 77) Never did drugs-me too, in addition i hate make up, whining, the idea of relationships 78) Never douvted God's mercy- all the time when others my age were trying the idea of relationships and falling in love and stuff, i was there- all alone- still am, trying to figure out why people have to fall in love? 79) no sood or interest bearing loans and yet beinglike this- always treated like dogs, got scolded my mate's parents for just being around them 80) never spoken to my subordinates harshly- always forgave people* as if they needed it* 81) never upset anyone or broken anyone's heart- i hate everyone in my life but am so afraid of telling them 82) even helped others financially and yet this- always ended up being caught or punished severly for every single little bad deed i committed 83) always tried to make others happy and yet this- have always made others laugh, mostly by making fun of my own self 85) dumbwitted and talentless- u repeated that- got absolutely no good vocabulary or grammer in any of the six languages i know 86) ugly and stupid-repeated again- never respected by anyone(whose known me for a week) in my entire life 87) fat and bald -again repeated- different phyciatrists and theropists think i've got schizotypical personality disorder, agraphobia, zelophobia, decidophobia, all types of asaphia, zeusophobia,post traumatic stress disorder and telophobia 88) maybe mentally retarded- been called retarded when following sunnats like eating with hands(by MUSLIMS too)
and heres some more 89) i'm barmy 90) 90% of the questions someone ask me my answers are like i'm doing this because i'm doing this or consequences mean sequences that are con,attention is tension with an at.because i cant explain!! 91) i want to change and reform this whole world even though i cant improve anything in myself, i am what i was 4 years back 92) people my age are growing so fast and i'm the same bloody arse i was 4 years back and want to grow up sooooo bad 93) instead of going somewhere decent to enjoy or chill, i enjoy playing basketball in public courts with adult men that never say a sentence missing profanity and they think of me as their "dude" and we all think i'm brill! 94) i had been carrying on the lie of my mom, that i've got a dad that lives in my home country, for entire 12 years when i did not even know if he existed... 95) my interpretation of quran is so wrong and duh! i dream of becoming a quran teacher! 96) i have never had a good family dining time somewhere- not any of that i remember 97) i dont remember when was the last time my mom told me she loved me or did not abuse and hit me when i asked her a question thrice or a day hasn't passed she didn't mention how good her life would have been without my brother and i 98) my brother hates me so much everytime he sees me he's like so u're back again or like do me a favor,please kill yourself. and i have no idea what to do about him...he's more interested in music than praying. we talk less and fight more 99) my mother thinks the soul reason for me and my brother living is that we have to get good grades and then good jobes and get alot of money and throw it on the face of my father's family that abandoned her, like.. she wants nothing else with us and this feels so bad. 100) every other night i have to spend the extreme chilly and cold nights out sleeping on benches in summers while in the winter i sleep on floor of the kitchen of the cafe where i work because people wont leave me alone. 101) in my moms entire family i'm known as the-mad-girl-who-danced-to-an-eminem-song-pretending-to-be-religious, something i did when i was 7 or 8. 102) the worst: i've got millions of questions i want someone to answer! 103) stubborn yet will leave quitely if someone turns their back on me, anyone except ALLAH 104) always been addresseed as a fake person, something i hate and never was 105) something completely opposite of strategic 106) 90 out of 100 things i do are all mistakes 107) the rest 10, i get em done the wrong way! 108) one day a boy will think he loves me, the other day they pretend as if nothing ever happened..they dont know me anymore! 109) duff 110) non-standard speech 111) a good nice religious person would call me a hustler,both ways, a streetwalker and a shrwed and unscrupulous person 112) my class mates, my mom and dad's family livin posh life while me watch from a distance! 113) me wrong or did wrong or not, rameen blames and punishes herself 114) all my nightmares come true...lets say i have all my life been scared of one wordly thing that was lizards and i was so thankful to ALLAH for keeping them away from me, the first thing i see as entering my home in pakistan is a lizard..or i was always scared of the fact that ALLAH says JINNS exist(as a kid) and was always afraid to be alone, well i am alone for the rest of my life! 115) i eat my nails and the skin on my lips more than anything else! 116) i am in one word "bad luck". when i'm drying my hair, ther isn't a time i dont get my hair stuck in the hair drier. when i'm eating something, 99 out of 100 times when i bite myself. if i take someone's phone..i always end up damaging it in someway. i once took my mom's jewellry in hands..ended up breaking everything. i wasted my whole seventh grade reading A TALE OF TWO CITIES to mr.aoran and he died a day before i reached the last chapter!those stories could go on forever.. 117) my habits keep getting worse everyday...i guess the last time i drank a liquid in a proper glass was...2 years back..... 118) there's so much more but i dont think anybody's interested. list can take several more pages.
and now i made a list of your good qualities and charcteristics! 1) you're prudent 2) even after all this you never talked rudely to anyone(i think i would have lost patience) 3) these's stil hope(and thats why you're still here) 4) you've got acedemic excellence 5) pious parents 6) supportive family 7) a good brother(maybe more siblings but you mentioned only one) 8) RICH FAMALAY!that owns multiple bussinesses(excuse my spelling) 9) soon to be married and not to a rich andd proud girl, a girl who's got weaknesses like you do! 10) got good hobbies like playing squash, swimming(unlike me who...plays basket ball in public courts with drug abusers) 11) got few CHILDHOOD FRIENDS(no, thats not boring, YOU'VE MADE IT BORING!!!! people would die for their childhood friends) 12) good manner and etiqquetes 13) good netiqquets! 14) unlike many other you haven't give up on life 15) people believe in you( if you were me you maybe would have understood how important this one is) 16) physically fit(obviously since you hit the gym everyday!)and you cant be fat ok so stop saying that like annoying teen girls do! 17) got so much advice thats served in a plate for you! 18) there's answers to all your questions...ALL! 20) can undertand others( yeah unlike me) 21) giving sadaqah 22) praying tahajjud 23) visiting the mosque 24) a MUSLIM!!!! yeah man theres billions out there who aren't blessed with eeman 25) you've got patience,alot more than me or many others ok! 25) can write meaningful stuff( duh! i took a week to write all this down and it still makes no sense!) 26) a member of islamic board! 27) mentally ok (except for the fact you're depressed) 28) good vocabulary and grammer 29) masha allah you're in a stage (an adult, financially good and with support) there's nothing impossible for you to do.(but you just want it in your mouth!) 30) have good breakfast, lunch, tea and dinner of your own( unlike me who's been eating left overs for the past 5 years!) 31) you can be on facebook and other socail media networks!( no! many like me cant!) 32) there aren't many bad accidents that happened with you( you didn't mention any) 33) masha allah no serious illness( do you realise there are so many out there who've got cancer and are disabled and stuff like that????) 34) you're going through a test in which you're making no progress, unlike many others who had it rough like mr.timi scar or Mr.Ersin(i dont know who that is...) 35) only if you move your life will change dramatically!( you're just sitting around doing nothing and you say your life is stagnent. yes you are!) 36) you are respected and loved!(atleat by your parents and brother and your younger sister here!) 37) you've got all means to travel....somewhere faaaaarrrrr...from all this.. 38) there are so many others to whom you can relate your life with(some you found on islamic board) (but you just wont learn anything) 39) even though you say you've got bad temper i dont think so( or maybe seldomly)(because if i saw you somewhere..sitting around i would stand on the side bars of your chair and hold you from the collar and ask you(no shout at you) to wake up!) 40) you're kind(you said you've never done bad to anyone) 41) you're courteous 42) no bad habits( excluding smoking, like Mr.Aaqib says replace it with reciting quran) 43) instead of finding a practical way out, you're choosing the islamic way out..which is really good(but man islam also asks you to move ok..not just pray and recite quran and give sadaqah ok?) 44) you know people care about you(atleast your parents and people here on islamic board...and rameen!) 45) you've got sister rameen! not everybody is blessed with my not-so-precious words of wisdom ok??? yeah i'm fudging specail and i know it! 46) you dont lie, you speak of what you really feel like 47) oh i almost missed it...YOU'RE AN MBA 48) i'm not sure but......you are hasty..and that can be good at times too(it can be used for good..if you try to do so....) 49) low standards dont satify you(but that doesn't mean you keep asking for more, that should mean you WORK for more!!!!)
HA HA see..i know a lil more than doing mistakes and my homework! now thats a list I MADE FROM ALL YOUR NEGETIVES and if i start adding things like YOU GOT HANDS AND FEET AND CAN BREATH (like Lady A said) and IF I KNEW YOU IN PERSON then... with the list we could fill scimi's magazines...!!! but he wont allow that
yes . It's hard to tolerate this kind of remark : I think you cannot trust Allah in any aspect of your life. Hes likely to screw us in everything.
Someone sent me pm and here is my ans : we gave him many good answers , advice . Just because he is frustrated or loosing faith , it does not mean we can allow him to insult our Creator regularly . . . Its strange that u did not find anything insulting about Allah in his posts . Just read his thread title . May Allah strengthen u and us in faith .
Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172
OK. I need to admit that I didnt understand the meaning of the word "screw". This is disrespectful. But I still think it is not enough to ban him if there is not any other comment of him like that before. It might have been deleted. We have seen such comments before also but the users were not banned but just their comments were deleted.
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Eric H liked this post
but now i'm temporarily in pakistan. so more new class mates again...but i'm going back man!! haha!)
at noraml times (been told i look so retarded cz of that)
) and now cadets, give me their left over food that is actually my meal(first while i worked at the oldhome, then at a cafe as a dishwasher, and now as a helper of a cook for PAF cadets)
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