Lads what do you think of having more than one wife?
Girls what would you do if your husband got married?
To the non-muslims what do you think of polygamy?
Me personally I favour polygamy and its one thing I really like about our religion
Insha allah I want to have 3 wives in the future.
Lool Imagine if having 7 wives was allowed in Islam? So you will have a wife for each seven days of the week :
Monday: Munira
Tuesday: Fatima
Wednesday: Sumaya
Thursday: Halima
Friday: Sabrina
Saturday: Sulekha
Sunday: Aisha
Lool cat eyes I know what you mean. As i said at the before this topic is a hot-topic with loads of strong opinions. But insha allah i am hoping that everyone will not go over the top. I mean polygamy is one of the sunnah and prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) did himself. So its always good talk about the sunnah especially with people becoming westernised and losing their roots. But insha allah everything will be khair.
If the other post become bad after this, then I welcome the thread to be closed but at the moment I don't see anything bad. Jazakallah
The bolded part. How do you think so? Can you think better than Allah? Of course not. Does Allah knows men more or you as a woman know men more? Allah swt has allowed a man to marry multiple wives for whatever halal reasons he has provided he does justice of time, money etc with them. Love is not part of this justice. He might love one wife more than other, example of Ayesha (ra) is clear.
Equating sharing a husband with sharing a wife, what analogy is that? Allah has allowed the former, not the later. No logical reasoning can make the former wrong, at least for a Muslim.
I don't know why using this way of saying what you wish?
I haven't claimed that I know better than Allah sobhano wa ta'ala. I was explaining that my point of view is that it is not necessary, and the sentence "then who am I to say against" was pointing at the fact that Islam allows polygamy and that I have nothing to do with how other live their lives.
In fact I don't find polygamy bad at all as long as it is well handled.
Does the man have to tell his wife whether he is married or tell his wife that he has a second wife?
I was hoping most scholars would say it would be respectful for the husband to tell his wife. A bomb would explode if she finds out. And is she even entitled to a divorce?
he is meant to tell his wife but hes not meant to ask permission from his first wife because Allah allowed it however she must know if he did not bother tell her and keep it a secret that would say alot about his character
I think it would be a bit rude if he didn't ask permission! Even if he was completely open about the whole thing the wife would be a bit miffed at not being asked.
Name of Questioner
Jamal - Saudi Arabia
Title
Going for Second Marriage: Do I Need Wife’s Permission?
Question
Dear sheikh, As-Salaam `Alaykmu wa Rahamtu Allah wa Barakatuh. Does the husband need the first wife’s permission to have a second wife? Jazakum Allah khayran.
Date
30/Jul/2002
Name of Counsellor
Muhammad Saleh Al-Munajjid
Topic
Marriage, Polygamy, Marital relationships
Answer
Wa`alykum As-Salamu Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Dear questioner! Thanks a lot for your question and the interest you show in having a clearer view of the true teachings of Islam. May Allah help you get the right understanding and stand firm on the Straight Path! Amen!
In Islam, marriage is a solemn contract for which the Shari`ah lays down rules and arrangements to guarantee its stability. Though Islam permits man to have more than a wife, it stipulates that certain conditions are to be met in this regard, for Islam’s main focus is on building a stable marital life.
Answering your question, Sheikh M. S. Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Muslim lecturer and author, states:
“If a man is able to take a second wife, physically and financially, and he can treat both wives in a just manner, and he wants to, then he is allowed to do so according to Islam. Allah says, “Then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four.” (An-Nisa’: 3)
It is well known that women are by nature jealous and reluctant to share their husband with other women. Women are not to be condemned for this jealousy, for it existed in the best of righteous women, the wives of the Companions, and even in the Mothers of the Believers. But women should not let jealousy make them object to that which Allah has permitted, and they should not try to prevent it; a wife should allow her husband to marry another woman for this is a kind of cooperating in righteousness and piety.
The first wife’s consent is not a prerequisite for a man to take another wife. The Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was asked about this and replied as follows:
It is not obligatory for the husband, if he wants to take a second wife, to have the consent of his first wife, but it is good manners and kindness to deal with her in such a manner that will minimize the hurt feelings such thing might produce. So it’s incumbent on the husband to be kind to his wife, discuss the matter with her in a gentle and pleasant manner, and this should be coupled with spending whatever money may be necessary in order to gain her acceptance of the situation.”
So in the light of the above, it’s clear that the matter is not just having a right to do so, it’s how you use that right. As we have said in many fatwas how Islam caters for the rights of women, men should not tamper with rights that Islam made inalienable to women, part of which is to respect their humanity. They are not property that can be done with at any time without any consideration; women are life partners.
Allah Almighty knows best.
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so as you can see it would be a little silly to ask permission from a human for something god has made allowed because if that was the case then we would have to ask permission from humans in every issue that god has made allowed and we'd end up following man made laws. and Allah knows best.
It is not obligatory for the husband, if he wants to take a second wife, to have the consent of his first wife, but it is good manners and kindness to deal with her in such a manner that will minimize the hurt feelings such thing might produce. So it’s incumbent on the husband to be kind to his wife, discuss the matter with her in a gentle and pleasant manner, and this should be coupled with spending whatever money may be necessary in order to gain her acceptance of the situation.”
No offence, but it just sounds a bit patronising to me. I respect the fact that they must handle it all sensibly and compassionately but it feels like they're being spoken of like children jealous of a new sibling coming along. :\ If people are equal in marriage then shouldn't they discuss getting a new wife and not just say it's the man's decision? What if it's not the best thing for the woman and they end up having loads of arguments once the new wife arrives? Not every woman might be able to handle another one sharing her husband whether Allah says she should accept it or not. As I mentioned earlier one Islamic scholar on a site said he didn't even need to tell his new wife that he was already married.
I've heard of couples where the first wife finds a second wife for the husband and that way they all get along happily, I think it sounds amazing
He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}] www.QuranicAudio.com www.Quran.com
No offence, but it just sounds a bit patronising to me. I respect the fact that they must handle it all sensibly and compassionately but it feels like they're being spoken of like children jealous of a new sibling coming along. :\ If people are equal in marriage then shouldn't they discuss getting a new wife and not just say it's the man's decision? What if it's not the best thing for the woman and they end up having loads of arguments once the new wife arrives? Not every woman might be able to handle another one sharing her husband whether Allah says she should accept it or not. As I mentioned earlier one Islamic scholar on a site said he didn't even need to tell his new wife that he was already married.
no offence taken. it was an issue that bothered me before taking the step to revert to islam but when belief entered my heart, i didn't care at all. of course it did not happen over night.. gradually as my belief in islam grew stronger. this became a very minor issue and began to think that i don't really know why it bothered me in the first place.
its not easy to support two women remember that lol there is loads of men that are happy with just one and taking on another would be a complete and utter headache. its very easy for a man who is not married to say that he wants two women lol the reality of it is very different.
my own personal feeling on it is if the man was rich, sharing husband would not be difficult because id be enjoying the other luxuries hes giving me so id be happy enough.
im not a gold digger but just giving one example of how id feel about it.
Hunh !! You mean everybody's hiding their other three wives in the closet? Where do they get all these females from anyway? I never thought that the ratio of women to men was THAT large!
Jokes aside...there are certain situations where it becomes absolutely necessary to look for another wife. Polygamy is not something new and Islaam certainly did not 'invent' it. Actually Islaam restricted the number to four. And polygamy comes with its own rules...its not for the faint hearted. You have to be just and treat all of them equally.
Hunh !! You mean everybody's hiding their other three wives in the closet? Where do they get all these females from anyway? I never thought that the ratio of women to men was THAT large!
That was a joke?
"Allah! La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), Al-Hayyul-Qayyum (the Ever Living, the One Who sustains and protects all that exists).".."[Al Qur'aan 3:2]
What I meant was that its a misconception that all Muslim men are willing or trying to get another wife. Most if not all would want a stable marital life with one wife. Since you said "Thats what they all say!" I took it that you believe that all men wish to get the maximum allowed number of wives. LOL... No offense intended!
Its not easy to support two women remember that lol there is loads of men that are happy with just one and taking on another would be a complete and utter headache. its very easy for a man who is not married to say that he wants two women lol the reality of it is very different.
you know, what you just said makes me wonder how many men there have been who thought they could deal between 4 wives properly but failed instead. although i like Islam's stance on a lot of things socially and morally, this is one rule that has so many negative implications no matter which way i see it.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
-Plato
What I meant was that its a misconception that all Muslim men are willing or trying to get another wife. Most if not all would want a stable marital life with one wife. Since you said "Thats what they all say!" I took it that you believe that all men wish to get the maximum allowed number of wives. LOL... No offense intended!
Actually i didnt even know what i meant, lol
I was just being random as always InshaAllaah forgive me if i made you think something else
Not offended!
"Allah! La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), Al-Hayyul-Qayyum (the Ever Living, the One Who sustains and protects all that exists).".."[Al Qur'aan 3:2]
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