I'm in school with this Muslim guy. I've made it very clear to him in the beginning of the term that he shouldn't talk to me in appropiately. Anyway now he's more careful, but he keeps saying to me this every morning when I come to class 'The heart greets ya warmly my love'! I need his Shakespeare twilight arsed soap opera crap GONE. He emberasses me in front of the whole class. A close friend of mine heard him gossip to other guys that he wants to see if I will slap him one day, and apparently that's what he wants. What a creep!
As our brothers and sisters mentioned here, the best thing you can do is to completely ignore him and dont look annoyed when he keeps doing it. Eventually, he will feel embarresed and feel like a loser.
Adolescence is a period in which a child grows very rapidly toward adulthood. But the very rapid growth also led to mental instability and personality. it could cause them to behave strangely.
Adolescence is also a period in which a person starts sexually attracted to opposite gender and start to feel like to get a partner. Also, adolescence is a time where someone starts looking for a personality. Unfortunately the city teenager today is strongly influenced by pop culture like movies that did not reflect real life, but they think that's right.
Now we go to the case.
That guy has a special feeling to sister Ansariyah, however, sister Ansariyah did not give him a response, might be because sister Ansariyah did not know about it.
It causes that guy was disappointed and also angry. So he does an act of revenge by constantly teasing sister Ansariyah, because he actually wants to get attention from sister Ansariyah in any form. Instability of personality that makes him do this.
And he did it in front of a crowd because he wanted people view him as "The Love Warrior" who never give up to get the girl he wants. Usually this is caused by the influence of pop movies.
No wonder if he wants sister Ansariyah slap him, as this will make him proud and feel as The Love Warrior that do not easily give up. So sister Ansariyah should never slap him.
Okay, now to sister Ansariyah. What you must do is ignore him, in the proper way that will make him stop teasing you.
I give you a tip. Train yourself to remain calm, and train your facial expressions so as not to be seen if you feel annoyed by this guy. when he's bothering you, people will see your face expression. And if you look disturbed, then people would love to see him as a The Love Warrior who never give up.
So, you have to do when he's teasing you in front of crowds is to stay calm, keep a straight face, and say hello to your female friends. Let's just that guy is not there. then people will look towards him and view him as a loser who does not receive the attention from the girl that he expect.
This will make him feel ashamed, and Insha Allah, he will stop disturb you.
haha gotchaaa, oh this thread brings back memories
actually, back then nobody courted me for real lol
The HIGHEST accomplishment I can achieve in this worldly life is to be a TRUE MUSLIM. (me)
As I said before, I was That Guy. The guy who asked out all of the girls, and then laughed it off when they said no. "Ah, I was only kidding anyway. You're not my type."
It's not something I am proud of, but it does give me a little insight into situations like this one.
I see that the myth of the "Nice Guy" is prevalent even in Islamic culture. This guy you describe, he reminds me a lot of how I used to be. He fancies himself a chivalric knight, but in reality, he is a seething mass of anger and rage, because how dare you not return his affection?!?
This is what he is thinking: "Don't you realize that I am the perfect guy for you? I will take care of you and treat you better than any other guy. I am your prince, and you are my princess." Then later, as time goes on and his affections are not returned, he becomes angrier: "I can't believe that you don't see how perfect I am for you. What is your problem?"
The guy in this case does not regard himself as Knight, but as Conqueror.
A guy who regard himself as knight will not embarass the girl he expect in front of many people. What he do is show that girl that he can be the protector, will always come when that girl need him, etc. But guys like this are often over-acting, such as act like bodyguards for the girls or offer help too much. Finally they will make the girls feel annoyed too.
"The conquerors" are guys who feel they can get everything that they want. When a guy like this try to approach a girl but this girl refuse or ignore him, he will revenge to make this girl knows, she cannot refuse/ignore him.
Like in this case. That guy tried to approach sister Ansariyah but she refused him [I've made it very clear to him in the beginning of the term that he shouldn't talk to me in appropiately]. This disturbing his arrogance as the conqueror. Then he made revenge to sister Ansariyah [Anyway now he's more careful, but he keeps saying to me this every morning when I come to class 'The heart greets ya warmly my love'!]. He knows, it would embarass sister Ansariyah [He emberasses me in front of the whole class]. The message behind this action is "Do not underestimate me".
The conqueror does not like to make compromise, but prefer to destroyed. Compromise does not matched with his pride. This is a desperation, actually. Notice this case [A close friend of mine heard him gossip to other guys that he wants to see if I will slap him one day, and apparently that's what he wants].
Actually, cases like this is pretty much found among adolescents, although not always in the same form.
@sister Ansariyah. I hope you did not mind if I analyze your case.
I will advice you to NOT to slap him, not at any cost. Probably, he wants a reaction or just want you to touch him. Even if it is a slap, it'll do.. That's how they really are. So just don't lose your temper... Ignore him completely. If he comes to talk to you, tell him that you don't want to. Because, I think if you don't respond to his words, then he might get sore and try something bigger and badder. May Allah forbid that. If he doesn't stop then, threaten him that you'll complain about him to your dad or someone. If the problem still persists, then don't hesitate to involve your elder family member. Many a times, we keep them away from such things due to generation gap or whatever it maybe... But the truth is, they know how to handle such matters at best. And finally, REPORT HIM.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
Thanks each and everyone who replied to my thread. Your advice helped me a lot and I'm going to put all into action, as I have done so already but so far he's still doing the same thing to me. The other day he pulled my chair for me and said 'At your service my princess'. It's pretty amusing, but it get's really bad when people start telling it to everyone else in my school (being the talk of town). I dread that thought and just want to be left alone.
I'm going to be patient and continue acting like he doesn't exist. I don't know what he we'll do next. I hope the pervert moves the heck on!
Jzk.
Learn Patience from Asiyah, Loyalty from Khadijah, Sincerity from Aisha and Steadfastness from Fatima.
As others have mentioned try avoid him as much as possible and ignore him. And if he ever tries to speak to you then straight out tell him to fear Allaah, unless he's not muslim :|, then i'd just continue to ignore him and report him.
I agree with br. Ardianto.
Last edited by Ğħαrєєвαħ; 01-22-2012 at 11:55 PM.
"Allah! La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), Al-Hayyul-Qayyum (the Ever Living, the One Who sustains and protects all that exists).".."[Al Qur'aan 3:2]
I'm in school with this Muslim guy. I've made it very clear to him in the beginning of the term that he shouldn't talk to me in appropiately. Anyway now he's more careful, but he keeps saying to me this every morning when I come to class 'The heart greets ya warmly my love'! I need his Shakespeare twilight arsed soap opera crap GONE. He emberasses me in front of the whole class. A close friend of mine heard him gossip to other guys that he wants to see if I will slap him one day, and apparently that's what he wants. What a creep!
Brothers, Sisters, what should I do?
Forget the slap, knee him where it hurts the most, I guarantee you he won't be coming back for more....
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