I was recently was seeing a muslim guy. Unfortunately I have become pregnant with his child! 7 weeks to be exact! He has asked me to abort but it is not in my heart! I was raised you make your bed you lie in it! He gave me 2 options which is to abort or I will be raising my child alone! I've considered to abort but I have 2 other children! Suppose I do go through with it and I hemmorhage will he take care of my children for going through with it!
(In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)
Dearest sister:
I'm sorry to hear that the man responsible for the unborn child in your womb is failing to take responsibility. However, dear sister, I'd ask you to trust in Allah (God) and not abort the child if possible for the man's advice in this matter is not sound. If you cannot take care of the child due to financial constraints, I ask you to please put up the child for adoption in a good family home. This Muslim man has done an injustice to you and himself in pursuing a premarital relationship with you. And then again he's sinned when he's, in wanting to absolve himself of responsibility and shame for his sin, asked you to further sin by aborting the child.
My dearest sister, you're a precious human being to Allah; however, as a woman Allah has entrusted you with the responsibility of maintaining your body in trust for a man who will respect you and offer you marriage. Your body and heart are meant to be shared in the sacred bond of marriage and not with others who will not give you all the honor and respect due to you as a woman. Do you not desire that, sister, for yourself?
Perhaps in you coming to this board there is a sign and Allah wishes that something of good comes of your heartache. I invite you to cut this man out of your life and place your trust in Allah and ask Allah to guide you. I also invite you to study Islam and see if perhaps this is a way of life that you can see yourself living: http://www.islamreligion.com/
Finally, I emphasize again to you that I'm sorry to hear of what has happened; let's, however, together place our reliance on Allah for this unborn baby. The Quran says (3:159), "And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him]."
Sincerest Regards & Best Wishes,
format_quote Originally Posted by readyred39
I was recently was seeing a muslim guy. Unfortunately I have become pregnant with his child! 7 weeks to be exact! He has asked me to abort but it is not in my heart! I was raised you make your bed you lie in it! He gave me 2 options which is to abort or I will be raising my child alone! I've considered to abort but I have 2 other children! Suppose I do go through with it and I hemmorhage will he take care of my children for going through with it!
my advice would be to make this public
speak to his family
and obviously keep the baby
do not be manipulated by him
let others know you are pregnant by him
and let them know his evil intentions
Well,first of all sister,im sorry to hear that and may God make ease on you,what I STRONGLY recommend is,tell your parents,only to the trusted ones (uncles,relatives) and raise the baby...
my advice would be to make this public
speak to his family
and obviously keep the baby
do not be manipulated by him
let others know you are pregnant by him
and let them know his evil intentions
He is from France,his family is in France! His father is a prominent leader in Islamic community there! He will be leaving to go back next month! He told me yesterday if I keep the baby to make sure the baby is taught Its Islamic heritage! Although I know nothing about this religion I promise to do as best as I can to make sure my baby will know him/her heritage!
He is from France,his family is in France! His father is a prominent leader in Islamic community there! He will be leaving to go back next month! He told me yesterday if I keep the baby to make sure the baby is taught Its Islamic heritage! Although I know nothing about this religion I promise to do as best as I can to make sure my baby will know him/her heritage!
Contact his family, especially the father. Tell them what happened, about your relationship and what he wants to do to hide his sin. Tell them everything. They should know so he doesn't go knock up another person and think he can run back home and no one will know and also so that they can make him own up to his responsibilities. As for him saying you should teach the child his/her religion,while he is right in that but he is being a hypocrite, demanding that of you while failing to give that child her/his first islamic right, being married to child's mother.
Sounds like the guy is rather conflicted. He refuses to take on fatherhood, but insists the baby will learn its Islamic heritage. A demand that is not only absurd on its face but one he is in no position to coerce you to comply with, both of which should be obvious to anyone. Maybe he needs a few days to sort out his thoughts on the matter.
I concur with the advice to find his family. They may be supportive of you. They may even be ready to take in the child, even if he is not. It's even possible they will try to coerce him to marry you. If they do, though, you'd have to think carefully about it. If he's only doing it because he's coerced, he might just end up a deadbeat parent, or worse. If he'd marry you out of sincere repentance for his actions, though, that's another matter.
Finally, do find out whether there's any way for you to legally coerce him to pay child support. Him being a foreign national might complicate that, but it might be possible still.
He must not behave like a coward and run away with his tail between his legs. The child you are pregnant with is his child. It is his duty to take care of that child. He cannot behave like a person who worships Shaytaan (Satan) and say, "YOU must look after the child while I go live with my parents somewhere in France." If his father is a "prominent Muslim leader", as you said, then report the matter to him. Make him aware of it. Taking care of a child is the duty of the father. He wanted to make a girl pregnant, now he must take upon himself the responsibility of caring for the child. It's not the way or nature of a Muslim to "slink away" from his duty like a snake. The child is his and will always be his, whether he likes it or not. If his father is a religious scholar, he will (or rather, should) impress upon his son the gravity of his actions and of wanting to abandon this child.
I am sorry to hear that. He is a rat! Worse than that, even!
No he won't take care if something happens to you.
I feel you should see his father (be appropriately dressed).. or the mother(?), but that is your choice. Ultimately, what do you want? What do you hope to achieve by bearing the news?
If you do see the parent(s), it is obvious that he is already shirking his responsibility. Convey that you've decided to keep the child, but would like guidance of sorts on deen and heritage from them. Would any of them be interested to be part of that development? But do go in dignified. Just discussing the best interest for the unborn child. Seeing as their son is involved, you are giving the family first rights to 'educate' on matters of the deen and heritage. . If they're not interested then you scoot on out. How they deal with him, (the son) is no longer your concern.
He is Allah, other than whom there is no deity, the Sovereign, the Pure, the Perfection, the Bestower of Faith, the Overseer, the Exalted in Might, the Compeller, the Superior. Exalted is Allah above whatever they associate with Him [59:23]
The fact that you're not notifying his father is rather upsetting.
I don't know how to contact his family in France! If I knew I would! He has been very careful when he comes around! At first I would hold his passport and visa for him at times or Important documents but nothing now!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
(In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Bookmarks