Abusive Fathers Should Not Be Walis At Weddings

format_quote Originally Posted by MuslimahRo

Assalam walaikum. I strongly believe that abusive "fathers" should not be walis at weddings, especially if the female getting married is against it and is currently being abused. Having such a "wali" or forcing such a "wali" on a woman who has never been married seems like victimizing a victim. Has anybody dealt with such a situation? Can an imam be assigned as a wali at a wedding for a woman who has no good Muslim guardian?

K. IN my humble opinion any man who abuses his children or wife does not hold the title of "Father" or "Husband". We men need to work on separating the title Father and title Husband from these creatures so the name does not get tainted. When someone hear the word Father it should be a smile on their face and warm their heart the same as husband. Any man who abuses his power is not a man...even the word "man" should be worked hard to achieve such title. You start off as a boy then grow up to a male and then you need to work to upgrade your title to a man. This in my humble opinion is how it should be done. To become a man..is to follow the prophet peace be upon him in every way of life, including character and how the prophet treated his womenfolk and how he treat boys and girls alike.

I agree...that an abusive "father" should not be walis at weddings.

Assalamualaikum.

Kid may choose to not live with the father if the father is abusive. However, kid should not refuse to recognize the father as his/her biological father because this is mean the kid has cut the blood tie, which is impermisible in Islam.

Then how about position of biological father as wali for his daughter nikah procession?.

If the father refuse to be wali, he can replaced. However, if the father is willing to be wali, the daughter should not replace him with other person, because refuse the biological father to be wali is an action of refuse to recognize the father as biological father.

format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto

Assalamualaikum.

Kid may choose to not live with the father if the father is abusive. However, kid should not refuse to recognize the father as his/her biological father because this is mean the kid has cut the blood tie, which is impermisible in Islam.

Then how about position of biological father as wali for his daughter nikah procession?.

If the father refuse to be wali, he can replaced. However, if the father is willing to be wali, the daughter should not replace him with other person, because refuse the biological father to be wali is an action of refuse to recognize the father as biological father.

That makes sense. By the way, off topic a little bit. In one of the minor signs of qiyama there will be family ties cut off. Is majority of those from fathers and children? Because I see how easily it is to cut ties between father and children due to custody law and how the mothers prevent fathers from seeing their children through court of law or that is general?

format_quote Originally Posted by xboxisdead

That makes sense. By the way, off topic a little bit. In one of the minor signs of qiyama there will be family ties cut off. Is majority of those from fathers and children? Because I see how easily it is to cut ties between father and children due to custody law and how the mothers prevent fathers from seeing their children through court of law or that is general?

Family ties basically is a social ties. While blood ties is a biological ties. Family ties indeed, can be broken due to various causes, and make the child cannot meet the father or the mother. However, in case like this, the child should not deny the biological ties with parent, like through saying "He is not my father", or "I never have father".