I've been suffering from depersonalization/derealization disorder for two years. I feel like everything around me is just a concept in my mind (I'm sorry if that comes off as self-conceited, i don't intend for that) and because of that my iman has been extremely rocky. When I try to think about Allah, it's very hard. I cry a lot about this because I feel like Allah doesn't love me. I've kept this hidden for a while but now, in Ramadan, it's gotten extremely bad. This disorder is preventing me from getting close to Allah. I feel like a robot when I worship Him and it makes me feel angry. I'm sorry if this comes off as me being impatient, I'm just scared that I'm going to be punished for this in the hereafter. Am I going to go to hell because of this?
I've been suffering from depersonalization/derealization disorder for two years. I feel like everything around me is just a concept in my mind (I'm sorry if that comes off as self-conceited, i don't intend for that) and because of that my iman has been extremely rocky. When I try to think about Allah, it's very hard. I cry a lot about this because I feel like Allah doesn't love me. I've kept this hidden for a while but now, in Ramadan, it's gotten extremely bad. This disorder is preventing me from getting close to Allah. I feel like a robot when I worship Him and it makes me feel angry. I'm sorry if this comes off as me being impatient, I'm just scared that I'm going to be punished for this in the hereafter. Am I going to go to hell because of this?
Assalam o alaikum rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu.
Allah does not put burden beyond person scope.
Visit doctor regarding your problems, do best whatever you can do.
And we should not say that we will go to paradise or hellfire. That is decided by Allah.
Greetings and peace be with you ReemMohamoud; and welcome to the forum;
This disorder is preventing me from getting close to Allah.
Never give up hope in Allah, his first name is that he is merciful to all his creation. Allah knows how he created each and everyone of us, he will know that none of us are perfect. I don't believe we will be judged because we are not perfect, but rather by how we keep trying and not giving up. I am still struggling with my lack of faith, and I am only seventy one.
May Allah continue to bless you through your struggles;
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