Why we cant marry good atheists? Why good atheists cant be muslim? My story (OP)
salam alaikum wa rahmetullah
I hope this message finds you well.I made sure this post wouldnt be influenced by my emotions.First of all im not doubting islam,i just dont understand.
I have had a very hard life trying to practice islam in secret for years.When even my family was making my life miserable Allah blessed me and sent me this person who has been with me during my worst moments.She has been the closest person to me,closer than family.I would have really wanted to marry her,as the calms my heart like nobody else.We havent had physical contact,we havent even touched.Because she respects my religion and my choices.She even encourages me to be a better muslim,she would congratulate me if i donated,she would ask me if i prayed,she would like me to grow my beard,she would see islamic videos with me the whole night,and even hear Quran with me,she would be angry if i lied,or if i did some other sin,and she was the cause that i stopped doings sins i couldnt stop doing myself,etc.She has made me a better person and a better muslim.
I just read the post about characteristics of a good person.She has them all,really,and she is even a virgin.Image a beautiful european girl,who everybody hits of her,wants to stay chase.How rare it is to find such a person,when the muslim girls here are,uf,dont even let me get started.They smoke and go out with guys and do all kinds of bad stuff.But the problem is she is atheist.She grew up as atheist,she likes Islam a lot,and says if she has a religion she would be muslim.Yet she doesnt believe in God,that is the problem,even her doesnt know why she doesnt believe despite trying.
I have decided to keep distance from her because i was falling in love with her everyday more and i was getting hurt because i knew we couldnt marry.I have broken her heart and my heart and i feel terrible.But i have to do it cuz in islam its not allowed to marry an atheist.This is what i dont understand.Why wouldnt it be allowed to marry a person like this,who only helps me and encourages me to be a better muslim,and wouldnt mind if her children are muslims.Would it be better to marry one of the muslims here,who smoke and go out with boys,who dont even always pray? I dont get it,its clear the first one would educate my children better
And what makes me better than this girl? I have been so ashamed from her sometimes.I lie a lot and do bad things,while she never lies,i swear i have never seen her say a lie,and only does good things.Why doesnt Allah guides her heart towards islam?
Ok ill send you sources to your inbox and try to help out.. If you ever need to say anything related to this, feel free to reply on this thread since it's yours.. I'll try to send as soon as i can since it is gettinng a little late now
format_quote Originally Posted by Islami.Mu'mina
Ok ill send you sources to your inbox and try to help out.. If you ever need to say anything related to this, feel free to reply on this thread since it's yours.. I'll try to send as soon as i can since it is gettinng a little late now
Salam Alaikum
Thank you for your message.I have checked them but i dont think they are for me.It takes a loooong time through those sites to even find one and i dont have that much time.Also i think they are a bit ''extreme''.I dont understand how i can go immediately to the wali and ask to marry her if i didnt even exchanged a word with the girl,and what happens if we talk and find out we are very compatible but when i see how she looks i cant bear it? That would damage her self esteem,waste her time and hurt her.
I think its better to see someone and talk.I dont mean chitchat but to talk about things and see if you are compatible.What would make her happy,her goals,her principles,how should she act in certain situations,her diet,her level of intelligence etc.
An imam once told me that hes shayk teacher advised him to first ask if the woman is beautiful then if she is religious,if you reject her for not being beautiful is okay,but if you reject her for not being beautiful after knowing she is religios then im afraid youd fall into sin.
Im not criticising the apps im just saying they arent for me.Id like smn from whom i can learn and grew up with,who would want me for my values not for my beauty,but i cant know that unless i talk to her.
Anyway jazakhAllahu khair though,and for your advise too.I will keep trying i guess..
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format_quote Originally Posted by Yusha
I messaged you long ago, have you received it i am wondering
Salam alaikum
yes i have received your messaged bro but i havent had time.I will message you now.Thank you very much
Re: Why we cant marry good atheists? Why good atheists cant be muslim? My story
format_quote Originally Posted by Revert alYunani
Salam Alaikum
Thank you for your message.I have checked them but i dont think they are for me.It takes a loooong time through those sites to even find one and i dont have that much time.Also i think they are a bit ''extreme''.I dont understand how i can go immediately to the wali and ask to marry her if i didnt even exchanged a word with the girl,and what happens if we talk and find out we are very compatible but when i see how she looks i cant bear it? That would damage her self esteem,waste her time and hurt her.
I think its better to see someone and talk.I dont mean chitchat but to talk about things and see if you are compatible.What would make her happy,her goals,her principles,how should she act in certain situations,her diet,her level of intelligence etc.
An imam once told me that hes shayk teacher advised him to first ask if the woman is beautiful then if she is religious,if you reject her for not being beautiful is okay,but if you reject her for not being beautiful after knowing she is religios then im afraid youd fall into sin.
Im not criticising the apps im just saying they arent for me.Id like smn from whom i can learn and grew up with,who would want me for my values not for my beauty,but i cant know that unless i talk to her.
Anyway jazakhAllahu khair though,and for your advise too.I will keep trying i guess..
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Salam alaikum
yes i have received your messaged bro but i havent had time.I will message you now.Thank you very much
Wa iyak brother
Yeah thats how the first one is.. In the second one im pretty sure it allows you to message back and forth and see pictures once you request and ask them for the passcode. But if this isn't for you, better that you don't use it. There is also Muzmatch(this one is very modern) which automatically shows picture+ profile (then you can match and text eachother) I believe but this one is very lax (many muslims looking to fool around before marriage).. Usually its more riskier for women to use, but if you're a man, you may find decent women on there.
Anyway, online searching doesn't always work for some people. It may not suit you as you said.
Try going to the masjid, or befriending pious men and ask them if they have connections. Many Muslim men tend to ask the imam for help
InshaAllah you will find who you want. Whether you find her through your searches or maybe when you least expect it.. There are many Muslims who aren't the best but you'll eventually bump into someone who may concern your interests. Make dua and keep searching.
May Allah reward you for your patience and perseverance
Re: Why we cant marry good atheists? Why good atheists cant be muslim? My story
format_quote Originally Posted by Islami.Mu'mina
Wa iyak brother
Yeah thats how the first one is.. In the second one im pretty sure it allows you to message back and forth and see pictures once you request and ask them for the passcode. But if this isn't for you, better that you don't use it. There is also Muzmatch(this one is very modern) which automatically shows picture+ profile (then you can match and text eachother) I believe but this one is very lax (many muslims looking to fool around before marriage).. Usually its more riskier for women to use, but if you're a man, you may find decent women on there.
Anyway, online searching doesn't always work for some people. It may not suit you as you said.
Try going to the masjid, or befriending pious men and ask them if they have connections. Many Muslim men tend to ask the imam for help
InshaAllah you will find who you want. Whether you find her through your searches or maybe when you least expect it.. There are many Muslims who aren't the best but you'll eventually bump into someone who may concern your interests. Make dua and keep searching.
May Allah reward you for your patience and perseverance
yeah i am in muzzmatch haha,and in another similar to it.Thing is not many people go to mosque as we dont have arab mosque a turkish one and ahmadiyyahs,and i dont want to pray with distance so i dont go but i will go tmrw in shaa Allah haha what can i do.If nothing happens i will keep it down then,maybe its not the time now.
Re: Why we cant marry good atheists? Why good atheists cant be muslim? My story
InshaAllah you will find a good muslimah to marry, and you will be good for her as she will be good for you.
May Allah guide your atheist female friend to Islam.
Life in this dunya is a test. Stick with Islam although you may not understand all that Allah has commanded, and any hardship you endure inshaAllah your sin will be obliterated or good is decreed for you.
And We will surely test you until We make evident those who strive among you [for the cause of Allah] and the patient, and We will test your affairs. Muhammad 31
[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed - and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving - Al Mulk 2
Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger
and those who believed with him said,"When is the help of Allah ?" Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near. Al Baqarah 214
Anas b. Malik reported: The Paradise is surrounded by hardships and the Hell-Fire is surrounded by temptations. Sahih Muslim
'A'isha reported: I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: There is nothing (in the form of trouble) that comes to a believer even if it is the pricking of a thorn that there is decreed for him by Allah good or his sins are obliterated. Sahih Muslim
Jabir bin 'Abdullah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said:'A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him." (Jami 'at Tirmidhi)
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