*** Allaah loves to see the effect of His blessings on His Slaves ***

And what about hassad?

format_quote Originally Posted by Flos

And what about hassad?

What about it? İ dont understand your question.

format_quote Originally Posted by Ümit

What about it? İ dont understand your question.

When you show happiness, someone could envy you and cause ayn and hassad...

format_quote Originally Posted by Flos

When you show happiness, someone could envy you and cause ayn and hassad...

Yes, that is why the last few sentences of brother Zaheer A Khan's post is important:

format_quote Originally Posted by Zaheer A Khan

{ Al Fawaa'id 1/185 }Beauty in clothing and outward appearance is of two types, one which is commendable and one which is blameworthy. The kind of beauty which is to be commended is that which is done for the sake of Allaah عروجل and in helping to obey Him and fulfill His Commands. What is condemned is the extravagance in clothing or food and drink or in housing etc. that can lead to destructive pride and haughtiness.*** And Allaah knows عروجل best ***

in other words, you should find a golden mean where you are not a scrooge (you have enough money, but you put on old worn out clothes as if you cannot afford anymore than that...but you also do not exaggerate and spend half your salary on stuff to look good for people when you actually cannot afford it.

So, if you have found that golden mean, than others that cause ayn and hassad is their problem...because you are not doing it for them...you are doing it for yourself, you look after yourself, and you do it because Allah wants you to take care of yourself.

Exaggertation can go both ways...either
you spend too much to look good where you cannot afford it (be modest)
or
you spend too little and you look unkempt where you should pay more attention to your appearance.

format_quote Originally Posted by Ümit

Yes, that is why the last few sentences of brother Zaheer A Khan's post is important:


in other words, you should find a golden mean where you are not a scrooge (you have enough money, but you put on old worn out clothes as if you cannot afford anymore than that...but you also do not exaggerate and spend half your salary on stuff to look good for people when you actually cannot afford it.

So, if you have found that golden mean, than others that cause ayn and hassad is their problem...because you are not doing it for them...you are doing it for yourself, you look after yourself, and you do it because Allah wants you to take care of yourself.

Exaggertation can go both ways...either
you spend too much to look good where you cannot afford it (be modest)
or
you spend too little and you look unkempt where you should pay more attention to your appearance.

Thanks brother for explaining. And "taking care of ourselves" is a good reminder. For instance, I have to work on that a lot. I don't care about myself, rather about others and then I end up in troubles. I had been a bit scared of putting myself first...

format_quote Originally Posted by Flos

Thanks brother for explaining. And "taking care of ourselves" is a good reminder. For instance, I have to work on that a lot. I don't care about myself, rather about others and then I end up in troubles. I had been a bit scared of putting myself first...

Yes, that is the problem of a lot of people who try to be a good person. Helping is never bad...you should always help other people if you are able to do so.
However it starts to be a problem when other people let you help them just because of their own convenience...because then, it is not helping anymore...it is taking advantage of someone.

There was this guy living in our town...our families know each other...one day his dishwasher broke down and he asked me if I could repair it...so I went to his house, discovered the malfunctioning part, ordered a new one and repaired his dishwasher...he was so happy, he thanked me a thousand times.
I felt really good about it. Then after a while he started to call me more frequently to repair stuff, usually something small like a toaster or mixer or something...and everytime he did thank me a lot...and I never suspected anything behind it.

But when he asked me to repair a second toaster (a different one than the first one) I got suspicious...because which person owns two toasters and uses them both at the same time?
and why would someone ask anyone to repair his toaster when he has a second one at home?

So I started to get suspicious and discovered that he collected those broken stuff...let me repair them and then sold them for a few bucks at the flea market.

I never confronted him with this...but I did stop helping this guy out.

format_quote Originally Posted by Ümit

Yes, that is the problem of a lot of people who try to be a good person. Helping is never bad...you should always help other people if you are able to do so.
However it starts to be a problem when other people let you help them just because of their own convenience...because then, it is not helping anymore...it is taking advantage of someone.

There was this guy living in our town...our families know each other...one day his dishwasher broke down and he asked me if I could repair it...so I went to his house, discovered the malfunctioning part, ordered a new one and repaired his dishwasher...he was so happy, he thanked me a thousand times.
I felt really good about it. Then after a while he started to call me more frequently to repair stuff, usually something small like a toaster or mixer or something...and everytime he did thank me a lot...and I never suspected anything behind it.

But when he asked me to repair a second toaster (a different one than the first one) I got suspicious...because which person owns two toasters and uses them both at the same time?
and why would someone ask anyone to repair his toaster when he has a second one at home?

So I started to get suspicious and discovered that he collected those broken stuff...let me repair them and then sold them for a few bucks at the flea market.

I never confronted him with this...but I did stop helping this guy out.

That's a good example! To me, emotional manipulation is the worst. That makes me think of Judgment day a lot and then I don't know what to do. Like, what if that person never forgives me for not helping (although I can't help)...