Assalamu alaikum
I was trying to help my online friend, listening about his problems, and at certain points, I got rude because no matter what i say, he stays in his decision, wanting to commit suicide. But I keep trying to make him understand.
And lastly, he told me he was going to do it tonight because he said I pushed him. But all I had done was trying to talk him out of it. I have then apologized to him several times if i was rude unknowingly. And provided him the helplines numbers and told him I wanted to help.
If he ends up doing it, is it going to be my fault? Because he said one time i pushed him and other times, it wasn’t on me. I feel scared and concerned. What should i do,?
Assalamu alaikum
I was trying to help my online friend, listening about his problems, and at certain points, I got rude because no matter what i say, he stays in his decision, wanting to commit suicide. But I keep trying to make him understand.
And lastly, he told me he was going to do it tonight because he said I pushed him. But all I had done was trying to talk him out of it. I have then apologized to him several times if i was rude unknowingly. And provided him the helplines numbers and told him I wanted to help.
If he ends up doing it, is it going to be my fault? Because he said one time i pushed him and other times, it wasn’t on me. I feel scared and concerned. What should i do,?
Wa Alaikum Asalaam,
My sister we must not fall for the tricks of shaythan in that he tells us its acceptable and even a good deed to "help" someone of the opposite gender. Yes you may do so on a public platform publicly like this, but it is not permissible to do so in any private interactions for it can lead to fitnah and illicit relationships. Know that shaythan is the third person in any private interactions between a non mahram man and woman:
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) says: “No man is alone with a woman but the Shaytan is the third one present.’” (Ahmad, Tirmidhi and Hakim)
Also know that there are many obsessive people out there who may use threats of suicide or self harm to keep hold of the person they are interacting with as a tool for blackmail. Therefore you must send him a final message of advice right now and your reasons for not staying in touch any further and then cut off all contact with him immediately. Do not wait for any replies. My sister he is not your responsibility for he is a strange man to you. After you have done that then delete your account on whatever platform you interact with him on and if he has any other contact details of yours then delete and change them too.
Then after that do not interact privately with any non mahram men as again this is a trick of shaythan who makes it seem innocent but for many it has led to much fitnah and gradually to illicit relationships. We must remember that shaythan plays on people having "good intentions". So we must safeguard ourselves from his tricks and not even "step towards zina" as Allah has advised us:
“And do not even approach zina, for it is an outrageous act, and an evil way…’’ (17:32)
May Allah safeguard us from anything that may lead to evil. Ameen
Last edited by Hamza Asadullah; 05-20-2022 at 08:56 PM.
I hope you stop communication with this individual, you are not responsible for someone's actions, when they chose to commit suicide. But this individual appears to me what so many people do, stay in the same situation (being immature), as they wish for emotional support.
You need to remember this is your only opportunity to make it to Paradise-you are not here to sit at someone's wrong level- they can waste their own time, and they will latch on to anyone who they can.
Charity is to give the poor the due, charity is not doing whatever someone says and following them, because they are sad-that is not what you are created for. You give to charity, if you gave your whole life, than what is the point of giving to charity-as per Islam, give the poor their due. If you followed and did everything that this person said, you would have sat and wasted all your life-they are wasting theirs. Don't give other people the decision making on what to do with your time and life in this world, as it is short, don't be emotional blackmailed-and by whom-a person who is clearly emotionally needy and lack of self-discipline and maturity.
Those who are, actually, up to commit suicide, they don't talk about it the way this person does. You'll just hear that someone, suddenly did it. Suicidal people don't even look like they're going to do it.
Next - you can't push someone to commit suicide and especially when you were trying to help. That's typical attention seeking and in many cases part of manipulative personality disorder. If this person is serious (which I doubt), he needs professional help and no amateur should try to do something, except those who went through dark and morbid depression in the past.
Don't rush your salat for anything, as you are standing in front of The One who is in charge of whatever you are rushing for!
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