Islam, Muslims. What do you think when you hear those words? Do you think terrorists, people who enslave their wives, or people who hate others not following them? Do you think this because of what you hear on the TV, read in the paper, or hear on the streets? Did you ever try and learn more about what Islam stands for?
I was in college in my disability and society class when I heard about the World Trade Towers. I was shocked at what I was hearing; I couldn’t believe it was happening. I prayed for the families of those that died, for those that were suffering, for those that were trapped. I went to church services in honor of them and to pray for them. I prayed that those who died who be forgiven for their sins through Jesus. I hear that Islamic Terrorists were responsible for the attack. I didn’t understand why they would do it and kill so many people for all over the world. That was the first time I also heard about Islam. When I was in High school I tried to fit in. I went to parties, I dated, but I never was into drinking alcohol. I was in Band, studied hard, and was a cheerleader. I did everything that a normal High school student did. In 2002 I met a man that I decided to marry. He was from a different country, culture and religion. He was Muslim. After 9/11 I hear bad things about Islam, but I was taught not to judge a person by religion, culture or anything else but personality. I knew him and I loved him, so I decided to marry him. I learnt about Islam do I could understand it better and in a way understand my husband better. My husband was respectful of my religion supported me in going to church. I read more and more on Islam and the more I agreed with it. I converted to Islam on my own, with NO pressure from anyone. I choose to wear hijab on my own. I summit to Allah alone. When I was Christian I was one of you, accepted. Now that I’m Muslim I’m different. I’m not someone that can be accepted in the society. What has change about my personality? Nothing, I’m the same person that I was when I was Christian. I just wear different clothes and my religion changed. Religion doesn’t change who I am as a person. So now why am I treated differently? Why now do people discriminate against me? I am person with feeling just like you, with hopes and dreams. Why now am I different?
Ayesha Farooq
Fi Amanullah
Ayesha
La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah - There is no power or glory except for Allah
Tawak-Kalto-ul-Allah - I put my trust in Allah Wasat forum
Actually I am not sure. I guess it depends on how good a Muslima she is. But take the issue of praying for her family. Muhammed did not pray for his mother because she died a pagan. Muslims should not pray for their parents if their parents are not Muslims - or at least that is my understanding. Now think about the mental change that you have to undergo to not care about your Mother in that way any more and tell me again she is still the same person. It is true that people can convert for shallow reasons, but once she internalises the conversion and accepts that she is now a member of this community and not that community, with all that this change entails, how can she be the same person? That is not to say she has suddenly become a dangerous person. But the chances of her doing violent things to her relatives, I suspect, have gone up somewhat.
I am a Muslim and I have some non-muslim relatives and I have never felt like doing anything violent to them.
Is this your idea of stereotyping, that every person who becomes a muslim will suddenly want to kill their non-muslim relatives, I dont think so.
I am a Muslim and I have some non-muslim relatives and I have never felt like doing anything violent to them.
Is this your idea of stereotyping, that every person who becomes a muslim will suddenly want to kill their non-muslim relatives, I dont think so.
Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have come not to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's foes will be those of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Matthew 10.34-37
yes, that's the quote i was thinking of.
But as the Muslims around here keep pointing out, Christians don't take their religion very seriously any more. Besides which violence in Christianity is a state monopoly. However it was not supposed to be a comment specifically about conversion to Islam. She is, however, leaving a community where such things are irrelevant and have no consequences, to join one where they are not and do.
good point.
O believers, take not your fathers and brothers to be your friends, if they prefer unbelief to belief; whosoever of you takes them for friends, those--they are the evildoers.
Say, "If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your clan, your possessions that you have gained, commerce you fear may slacken, dwellings you love--if these are dearer to you than God and His Messenger, and to struggle in His way, then wait till God brings His command: God guides not the people of the ungodly."
Qur'an 9.23-24
while i find the quotes you have given from the qur'an objectionable, i think it is a big stretch from not praying for your family (which i find very strange) and feeling violent toward your family. i do not believe that if a person is not violent, they will become so after changing their religion.
each man thinks of his own fleas as gazelles
question authority
This is quite ironic since here things are the opposite! The mother is treating the child badly coz of his difference in faith. Anyways, mothers are to be treated kindly no matter what their faith.
My wife's mother has in effect cut herself off from her daughter in recent times. Whilst there was some form of communication it was often quite turbulent and heated. My wife has tried a number of times to re-establish contact yet her mother refuses, quite stubbornly, to reply. We are both reverts and have often felt that our acceptance of the religion has played some part in her mother's negative attitude. I would be grateful if you could advise us on what me might possibly do to rectify this situation.
Jazak Allahu Khairan
Praise be to Allah,
The reactions of non-muslim mothers towards their children's embracement of Islam varies. Some mothers are peaceful and passive considering this as a personal matter which does not affect the relationship between the mother and her son or daughter. In such cases more piety by the child towards his or her mother will make the mother admire and respect Islam.
Other mothers adopts a more stubborn approach at the beginning but the mother finally gives in and accepts the new religion as a fact of life after she sees the child's determination and persistence which could lead the mother herself to embrace Islam.
In the third case we find that some mothers are constantly stubborn to the extent that she might hurt and oppress her son or daughter. Usually such mothers are blindly prejudice because they consider that her son or daughter had gone astray by leaving the faith of his fathers and ancestors and she must do something to help go back to the right path (according to the mother).
The following are three stories that took place at the time of the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, that involved three of the Sahaba (Companions of the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him) which illustrates the reactions of their mothers after they embraced Islam:
Story #1
On the authority of Asmaa' Bint Abi Bakr she said "My mother came to visit me one day. At that time she was still a polytheist and there was a pledge between the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, and Quraish (one of the great tribes in Arabia that lived in Mecca in the pre Islamic Period of Ignorance who used to enjoy great spiritual and financial powers). I requested the Prophet's , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, religious verdict and said: Oh Prophet of Allah, my mother came to visit me, seeking my help; should I keep a good relationship with her? Yes, keep a good relation with her said the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him:. Reported by Bukhari and Muslim, and this narration is listed in Sahih Muslim under # 1003.
In another version narrated by Ahmad, on the authority of Asmaa' Bint Abi Bakr she said " My mother came to visit me when she was still a polytheist and she was living amongst Quraish. She was desirous, meaning in need, so I asked the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, and said: Oh Prophet of Allah my mother came to me and she is a polytheist and she needs help. Should I keep a good relationship with her? He said yes maintain a good relationship with her.
Story #2
On the authority of Abu-Huraira, who said: I used to call my mother to Islam when she was still a polytheist. One day, while I was calling her she mentioned something about the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, that I detested. So I went to see the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, while crying and told him: I used to call my mother to Islam and she would refuse. I called her today and she mentioned something about you that I detested. Please invoke the blessings and guidance of Allah on her. Then the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, said: O Great Allah guide the mother of Abu-Huraira. So I left full of hope because of the Prophet's supplication for my mother. When I reached home I found that the door was partially closed. My mother heard my footsteps and said: Stay still Abu-Huraira, then I heard the water running; he added my mother performed body ablution, put on her cloths and hurriedly opened the door without her head-cover and said: "None has the right to be worshipped but Allah and Muhammad, Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, is the Messenger of Allah". I went back to the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, crying of joy and told him: I am bringing you good news; Allah answered your prayers and guided the mother of Abu-Huraira. The Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, praised and glorified Allah and said: this is good. I said: Oh Messenger of Allah, pray to Allah to make me and my mother beloved by Allah's believing slaves and make us love them. The Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, said: Oh Allah, make this little slave of Yours and his mother (meaning Abu-Huraira and his mother) become beloved by your believing slaves and make the believers love them. Ever since, there was not a believer who heard of me, even without seeing me, that did not love me. Reported by Muslim in Sahih Muslim (Muslim Authentic volumes) under # 2491.
Story # 3
On the authority of Saa'd (Ibn Abi Waqas May Allah be pleased with him) who said that verses of the Qur'an revealed his story. He said Um Saa'd (his mother) swore not to talk to him ever nor eat or drink until he renounces Islam. She said: You claim that Allah commanded you to obey your parents. I am your mother and I order you to do this ( to renounce Islam). He said: She stayed with nothing to eat or drink for three days until she fainted because of strain. Then one of her other sons named Umarah gave her water to drink. And she started to imprecate against Saa'd, then Allah revealed this verse in the Qur'an, which translates to the meaning of {And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents; but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me is your return and I shall tell you what you used to do} Verse 29:8 - Surah 29, Al Ankabut. This Hadith is narrated by Imam Ahmad in his Musnad and in Sahih Muslim in his Sahih under # 1748.
Also, Allah revealed another verse in the Qur'an, which translates to:
"But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that if which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do"( 31:15 - Surah Luqman).
Based on the above stories one can determine how to deal with a non believing mother and can draw the following significant conclusions:
The importance of good presentation of Islam to the non believing mother and to try to kindly persuade her and to strive to convince her as Abu Huraira did (story # 1)
Continue to do good to the non believing mother and to remember that her disbelief does not justify disobedience by the son or daughter and that doing her good does not contradict with your innocence of her as a non believer, on the contrary as it is stated in Verse 31:15 above, Allah has commanded us to treat the non believing parents kindly even if they strive to make their child a polytheist because of their rights as parents hoping that they will embrace Islam.
Continue to sincerely pray and supplicate for the non believing mother hoping that Allah may guide her, as evident in Abu Huraira's story (story #2).
The divine guidance of Allah may come after continuous strive by the child and strong objection of the mother as in Abu Huraira's story, therefore the son should never surrender or give up but should continue to pray and supplicate for the non believing mother.
Regardless of how hard does the non believing mother strive to make the son renounces Islam, and the pressure she will exercise against her son such as refusing to eat or invoking upon him , the son should never surrender or give in nor should he retrocede away from the righteous path as one of the Sahaba said to his non believing mother in a similar situation: :If you had one hundred (100) souls and it all left your body one after the other I will never give up my religion (Islam)".
It seems that the mother in question deliberately oppresses her daughter through estrangement which makes her emotional torn but that should never weaken the muslim or shake his faith and belief in his religion. There is no objection to make the non believing mother understand that you are not going to retrocede , however she (the mother) can kindly ask for anything and she will be immediately answered to it except for giving up this religion.
We ask Allah to quickly guide her to the righteous path and give you patience to call her to Islam and lead you to the righteous and correct way
I guess why parents react so bad when they children become true muslims is because they change very fast that it sounds unaccaptable to the parents, a dramatic change, but I think by the time , they will be adopted to that And try to find something (ex. a book) of a category that might be interesting to the parent
My mother likes natural medicine, so my sisters bought a book of prophetic medicine, and my mother has started getting good intentions for Prophet Mohammed a.s .
islam has a bad name in the western countries, so they are prejudiced and they WILL judge you. it will be difficult. but try to surround urself with muslims, think of the harsh treatment suffered by the sahaba, and be patient. U have made the right choice, and every bit of humiliation u suffer is recorded as a good deed, and the reward is waiting for u. Hope i uplifted u a little. Keep smiling. U have made the best choice.
while i find the quotes you have given from the qur'an objectionable, i think it is a big stretch from not praying for your family (which i find very strange) and feeling violent toward your family. i do not believe that if a person is not violent, they will become so after changing their religion.
I do not think that if you become a Muslim you will become violent by any means. Common sense and a tiny amount of experience with Muslims shows that. But if Jose Padillia had not converted he would not be in jail. If Robert Reid had not converted nor would he. A Dutch convert blew herself up in Iraq a month or two back. If she had not converted.... All I said was that the risk went up. Which it does.
Le coeur a ses raisons, que la raison ne connait pas. - Blaise Pascal
Firstly Welcome sister to islam, May Allah SWT bless you and your family. Aaameen.
With regards to what has changed that is quite simple. You have now "Chose" to leave one sect and become part of another. Many have this notion that you are Muslim because your parents are Muslims or because you live in a Muslim Country its very rare for a non-muslim person to believe that this women is wearing a Hijab because she wants to, or that this man is staying away from Alcholol and Drugs because of his love and submission to Allah SWT.
When you a Christian women decided to enter Islam on your own free will it must seem like "Ironic" to many non-muslim that you a free independent women wanted to enter a religion which "Forced" you to cover yourslef restricted you from socialising in certain ways. But its not "You" that has changed, i mean yes you have now chose a different way of life and i know this way is best for you and inshallah you will be successful, But for many you have "chose" to go on a dangerous path and the way you must suffer is isolation from your normal society.
Truth is sis that its "them" that dont understand and have been misunderstood. The whole concept of Islam they take from the Media and they believe this is correct.
Your intentions only Allah alone is aware of and he is most forgiving and most kind. So sis if you feel people look at you differently or treat you differently then you should make use of this and try to teach them about Islam and how this path of light has only made you a better person.
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