Advice urgently please:(!

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AnonymousPoster

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My husband cheated on me and hid it for a while and then he admitted to what he did, he was in a relationship with a girl for 6-ish or more months and they were intimate together and everything. I forgave him.. i moved on from the situation... now the thing is i went to pick up a drink from the convenience store across the street with a work buddy that happened to be a male and he called me so many degrading names and said i disrespected him and just screamed at me...its been 2-3 days now that he keeps putting me down... he and his mother both and says how he can't ever trust me again... like what the?!?! did i do anything wrong??!! the girl he cheated on me with they broke up because he punched her in the face...he is kind of abusive...anyways we have been together for three years i really love him but im starting to doubt if i want to stay in this marriage anymore or not.. i used to be overweight he told me he wont take me in public unless i loose weight and that if i couldnt loose weight for me to tell him so that he leaves me, he has disrespected my parents, he has said and done so many mean things to me and put me down so much... i dont know why i am still in love with him:laugh: we don't have any kids so this makes the situation a bit easier and ive done istikhara a lot but i still dont know what to do..please guys pray for me and please someone tell me if i should leave him or make this work or what.. im so :cry: right now:(:(

thank you all god bless u
 
Amiin to the dua! Alpha_Dude gave very good advice, mashaAllah.

I say divorce him, but you are in the situation, not I so I can imagine it is much easier said than done, but it is not an impossible act to do, so please, for your own sake, have confidence and trust in Allah, do what is best for your life and your Emaan.
 
Wow, where is ur father, do u have any brothers? Who married u to this madman? (sorry sis but this guy is out of control, he doesnt deserve to be married to an honorable muslim woman.

You seem so patient, n even say "u love him"? is he worth it?
 
leave him man his one abusive dude like killing ur self esteem by telling you to lose weight or he wont take you out that not cool
 
Alpha Dude gave you the best advice.

You don't need to put up with the insults and abuse especially from someone who cheated on you.

If he is embarassed of you being overweight then he doesn't really love you. That is such a mean and horrible thing to say. I wouldn't care if my wife became obese or whatever I will still love her the same way and be proud to have her as my wife.

Take your time with your decision and think it over many many times. If it feels right then it must be right.

Allah will repay you for your patience Insha'Allah.
 
asalam alaikum sis

I agree with Alpha Dude. You know in your heart if he will change or not. Act on that sis and do what is best for you. Btw, divorce becomes obligatory when a spouse commits adultery.

May Allah's help be with you ~ ameen
 
:sl:[I feel for you as i have bee in this situation myself, and i have also read advice from other brothers and sisters. In a way not having children for you is a blessing in disguise because i cannot walk away because of my children my husband remarried and has had endless affairs. When i talk to my elders they say to keep "subur". I too have put up with this kind of mental abuse, but you know what my religion teaches me better you will be rewarded for your patience. When? i don't know. I have waited 16years, and remember Allah sees all and knows all. The thing that gets me about my husband is that even though he knows he is wrong he twists and turns things to make himself look like the victim. I will pray for you but i think no-one can tell you what to do. Take care.=AnonymousGender;1014078]My husband cheated on me and hid it for a while and then he admitted to what he did, he was in a relationship with a girl for 6-ish or more months and they were intimate together and everything. I forgave him.. i moved on from the situation... now the thing is i went to pick up a drink from the convenience store across the street with a work buddy that happened to be a male and he called me so many degrading names and said i disrespected him and just screamed at me...its been 2-3 days now that he keeps putting me down... he and his mother both and says how he can't ever trust me again... like what the?!?! did i do anything wrong??!! the girl he cheated on me with they broke up because he punched her in the face...he is kind of abusive...anyways we have been together for three years i really love him but im starting to doubt if i want to stay in this marriage anymore or not.. i used to be overweight he told me he wont take me in public unless i loose weight and that if i couldnt loose weight for me to tell him so that he leaves me, he has disrespected my parents, he has said and done so many mean things to me and put me down so much... i dont know why i am still in love with him:laugh: we don't have any kids so this makes the situation a bit easier and ive done istikhara a lot but i still dont know what to do..please guys pray for me and please someone tell me if i should leave him or make this work or what.. im so :cry: right now:(:(

thank you all god bless u[/QUOTE]
 
Aww sis! You're in my duahs!
And follow Alpha dudes advice!!
 
Scents of Jannah said:
asalam alaikum sis

I agree with Alpha Dude. You know in your heart if he will change or not. Act on that sis and do what is best for you. Btw, divorce becomes obligatory when a spouse commits adultery.

May Allah's help be with you ~ ameen
Click to expand...

I wouldn't say it becomes obligatory, but rather gives the wife grounds to seek divorce as do other things mentioned in here.

I would advise to consult a scholar on this issue rather forum members, this is serious matter. try www.fatwa-online.com
 
Khalil_Allah said:
Why do the most pious, patient, and sweet women always get such horrible husbands?
Click to expand...

The best is saved till the end,

Allaah loves those who are patient,

Verily after hardship comes ease,

Maybe Allaah has prepared something better for her in the Aakhirah, inshaAllaah, after all, if this life wasn't difficult for us, it wouldn't be much of a test,

May Allaah ease her pain and grant her sabr, Aameen.
​
 
AnonymousGender said:

The best is saved till the end,

Allaah loves those who are patient,

Verily after hardship comes ease,

Maybe Allaah has prepared something better for her in the Aakhirah, inshaAllaah, after all, if this life wasn't difficult for us, it wouldn't be much of a test,

May Allaah ease her pain and grant her sabr, Aameen.
​
Click to expand...

You said it, Sister!

AAMEEN!
 
Khalil_Allah said:
Why do the most pious, patient, and sweet women always get such horrible husbands?
Click to expand...

because all the 'good' men are too busy looking at the 'slightly practising' but 'oh so **** hot' muslimah. thats why!!!

or else Allah tests those he loves most.

have sabar hun and dump him, and make sure you juice him for every penny he's got, the bleep bleep bleep!
 
That was a very sweet thing to say............ Maybe these women are waiting for their rewards in the Hereafter??????????:bump:
Khalil_Allah said:
Why do the most pious, patient, and sweet women always get such horrible husbands?
Click to expand...
 

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