Is it haram for girls to live out?

[Al-Zaara]

Selam aleykum,

say someone finds a place in Law School/Faculty at Cambridge University and her home is in Leeds what is she to do?

folks have a strange way of obsessing over the dumbest detail and don't appear particularly concerned when you are orphaned, widowed, battered woman with no source of income so long as you are wearing a tent and finding some mahram even an 11 year old dopey little kid to escort you..

sob7an Allah
what can I tell you.. is it any wonder why we are in such bad shape?

I don't believe that all of Muslims on this site agree with vocal folk on this forum, because they might be shunned for it, they keep quite

Good post! :thumbs_up JazakAllah kheyr bro, I'm out of reps now but will get back to the post, as I'm subscribing to this thread.

 

[Muezzin]

Do these ‘mistakes’ only happen to female Muslims? Do young male Muslims not makes ‘mistakes’? Do you advocate that young male Muslims should have a guardian with them if they live in halls of residence?

You know, for some of the young Muslim males I met while in uni, I think I would advocate a minder of some sort.

What's so shameful I can't find a word for it is that the acts of these particular guys (who shall not be named, lest I descend into backbiting) will not be divulged to family members, and even if they are, the consequences will be less severe than for the Muslim girls they cavorted with. It's wrong. People predictably follow their culutural practices of favouring the male no matter what, ignoring the Islamic ruling that in these kinds of cases, the male has equally sinned.

When will people learn - though Islam does require mahrams in certain circumstances, their absence does not mean Muslims should or will descend into sin. Ultimately, we have to follow the rules of Islam ourselves. We shouldn't only follow them when someone is breathing down our necks. If that's the position an individual is in, it says a lot about the condition of their faith.

I'm not saying that a young Muslim woman should not take a mahram if she is living in another city for university. Simply that if it is not practicable, for whatever reason, that young Muslim woman should trust herself to act Islamically in the situation - and if she knows that she probably would not do so, then perhaps she should reconsider the trip. Just as certain young Muslim males, if they were true to themselves and their religious beliefs, would reconsider their trips.

 

[Al-Zaara]

MashaAllah, Muezzin, jazakAllah kheyr for your contribution aswell!

 

[doorster]

Actually I am genuinely interested to know the answer. Or are you suggesting the answer is that Muslims should just blindly do as they are instructed without questioning anything?

if Muslims were allowed to become educated, if we were allowed to learn about the true spirit of Islam, what do you think will be the fate of our kings and presidents?

It is in their interests to hire "scholars" to preach distorted versions of Islam and it is in the interests of western kingmakers to support them lest we become one empire/government again like it was during the lifetime of Last Prophet P.B.U.H.

 

[barney]

No doubt a cultural thing butI recently did a university course which had 14 ppl in the group. One was a Muslimah in hijab. In the canteen when the whole group was chatting and bantering and laughing and joking she was sat with everyone but wasnt of course joining in. Now since I know probably more about Islam than th other white CofE's on the course, I understood that she couldnt make light-talk or speak if it wasnt neccessery or important. She hadnt a Mahram with her , but she looked so blinking lonely and ostricised.
The group had tried initially to get her to join in, but quickly ended up ignoring her, as she was simply politly answering questions directed at her but not inititaing or participating.

The group mentioned her a few times, saying she was haughty and stand-offish. I explained that as a lone muslimah amongst non-muslims she was required by her religion to do this. One member said i was racist. i pointed out that the term he was looking for was anti-theist, but he would in any case be wrong.

Long story short, the group felt awkward by her actions, simply because they lacked knowlage about islam.
I still , even with my knowlage felt sorry for her.

Comments welcome.

 

[Muezzin]

Maybe she was just shy? I'm no good at small talk either, but I'm fortunate enough to have a friendly demeanour or something.

Kudos for defending her though.

 

[Zahida]

With due respect brother...... I agree what you are saying it is our responsibility as Muslims to protect the female gender and to educate our male Muslims.......... for a better way of life..............

Do these ‘mistakes’ only happen to female Muslims? Do young male Muslims not makes ‘mistakes’? Do you advocate that young male Muslims should have a guardian with them if they live in halls of residence?

I was taught that taking those first steps of independence and yes making mistakes was good because it made me a more capable, resiliant and stronger person. I am even older than you and I can tell you that you learn a lot from making mistakes and as you get older you are exposed to the possibility of making even bigger mistakes.

 

[Zahida]

Thankyou for your duas and kind words......... May Allah Bless you and good luck with your magazine........

May Allah give your family sabar... and bless those who have passed away.

 

[Malaikah]

The group mentioned her a few times, saying she was haughty and stand-offish. I explained that as a lone muslimah amongst non-muslims she was required by her religion to do this. One member said i was racist. i pointed out that the term he was looking for was anti-theist, but he would in any case be wrong.

Er, I'm almost 100% certain is has more to do with men being in the group than you guys being non-Muslim!

 

[Danah]

the mahram required to be with woman is for protecting her, its not that woman need a guardian while man does not, its not like woman might do mistake while man is not.

For me, I dont feel safety when I go out for shopping without mahram even when I am living in a very safe society......so what about living out.
by the way, in our university there are many students traveling from their cities to live in the hostel which is inside the University campus. Here its totally fine since its not out the university and there are like other woman stuff who are responsible for the girls there and even spent nights there.
they even bring the girls from their houses in their cities and take them in special buses.
so for the thread beginner, its depend on the environment you will live in. but I guess for you in London I think its hard to live a lone.......Allah know the best

 

[Thinker]

Making mistakes:

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. - Confucius

The greatest mistake a man can ever make is to be afraid of making one. ~ Elbert Hubbard

There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth -- not going all the way, and not starting.~ The Buddha

Do not be embarrassed by your mistakes. Nothing can teach us better than our understanding of them. This is one of the best ways of self-education.~ Thomas Carlyle

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.~ George Bernard Shaw

A baby learning to walk falls a lot. ~ Kathleen Rowe

 

[piXie]

Just a quick question is it haram for girls to live out? Like live in their Uni? It's not someone who doesn't have any other option...but someone who might be considering unis out of London. Thanks

Why would someone want to live at their Uni? Don't like Parents house? Want more freedom? :hmm:

If one has the option of going to a Uni in their city, they should choose that.

 

[Re.TiReD]

Why would someone want to live at their Uni? Don't like Parents house? Want more freedom? :hmm:

If one has the option of going to a Uni in their city, they should choose that.

:wasalamex

I don't live out, my commute only takes an hour, sometimes half an hour depending on the weird trains up here. But another sis lives just 5 mins from where I do and she stays in halls.

I've no idea why people would wanna stay at uni, go through the hassle of getting good accomodation etc etc when they could just as easily commute.

Wallahu A'lam though. I'd choose a uni that was nearer, but then...If somebody really wants to get into a 'top' uni then they'd do whatever it takes I guess.

 

[aamirsaab]

Why would someone want to live at their Uni? Don't like Parents house? Want more freedom? :hmm:

The university may be far away from their home; like in a different city or whatnot.

If one has the option of going to a Uni in their city, they should choose that.

It depends on whether the course is available though - sometimes, the universities have limited courses, so you may have to commute or stay in a different city. Sometimes, a different country!

As for the topic; I wouldn't say it is haram for a girl to live out - certainly no more than if it were a male. This being said, if my was sister living out, then I'd be very concerned about her well being - certainly more so than if it were my brother. See, my brother can handle himself if the situation arises (he gets me into headlocks every day!), but can my sister take on (male) scum-bags if she had to? I don't know, and I don't want to find out! But that's just me being a macho-mongesh stuck in the old times - you can hit a man all you want but touch a female, and you're @$$ is marked, sunshine!

 

[piXie]

The university may be far away from their home; like in a different city or whatnot.

Sometimes they are, but the person who the Original Poster is talking about has the option of going to a university in London.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Making mistakes:

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. - Confucius

The greatest mistake a man can ever make is to be afraid of making one. ~ Elbert Hubbard

There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth -- not going all the way, and not starting.~ The Buddha

Do not be embarrassed by your mistakes. Nothing can teach us better than our understanding of them. This is one of the best ways of self-education.~ Thomas Carlyle

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.~ George Bernard Shaw

A baby learning to walk falls a lot. ~ Kathleen Rowe

as mentioned previuosly

In your eyes, making mistakes might be ok, but in the eyes of muslims, mistakes = sins and if sins are preventable, then all measures must be taken to prevent them.

Yes, we do learn from sins. But that doesn't mean we have to deliberatlely put ourselves into circumstances where sin can arise, just so that we can learn from them.

:wasalamex


I've no idea why people would wanna stay at uni, go through the hassle of getting good accomodation etc etc when they could just as easily commute.

i was thinking eww yuck...why would you wanna stay @ school +o(

 

[MO783]

My advice to anyone girl or boy not to live away from home.

Salam

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Making mistakes:

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. - Confucius

sounds like an old man !

The greatest mistake a man can ever make is to be afraid of making one. ~ Elbert Hubbard

hmm... actually this is interesting, i think we should fear mistakes, it makes us better and more careful people!

There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth -- not going all the way, and not starting.~ The Buddha

fair enough.. i liked this one, thanks thinker

Do not be embarrassed by your mistakes. Nothing can teach us better than our understanding of them. This is one of the best ways of self-education.~ Thomas Carlyle

well theres nothing wrong with being embarassed of them, infact i think being embarassed of them gives us a stronger will to never fall into it again !

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.~ George Bernard Shaw

depends what the mistakes are to be honest, i mean look at hitler and bush, and other nazi type people

A baby learning to walk falls a lot. ~ Kathleen Rowe

true !

 

[Faith.]

I think that girls should try and find a uni more nearer to home. So thers no need to stay the night.

Ermm...i was jus wondering if a girl does decide to attend a uni far from home and has a mahram with her.........would she have to stay with him all times around the campus?:?

...or would it be okay for her to go to her lessons unattended?

Jasakallah:sunny:

 

[Danah]

Making mistakes:

There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth -- not going all the way, and not starting.~ The Buddha

Do not be embarrassed by your mistakes. Nothing can teach us better than our understanding of them. This is one of the best ways of self-education.~ Thomas Carlyle

some mistakes are not acceptable, no one can make mistake and kill people then learn from his mistake to not do it again.
or go and comet the forbidden sex and then realize that what he have done is wrong
and thats what we are preventing to happen