anti social

[Ansariyah]

Wat u got to lose? Life's about takin risks, take it. Get out there and start talking.

Say how u feel. Leave ur mark everywhere u go lol.:-[

Less talking also means less sins, so ina way u shud be happy, but don't forget that rasululah *sa* was a peoples person, he was very approachable, relaxed, cheerful, Modest. We shud want to be like him.

I am shy! Sometimes pathetically shy! But I don't let anybody wrong me. I always speak up! Heeeey I was here first get wit the queue..I can do that in public. *I surprise myself* I can't stand injustice or people who try walk over others. It just happens naturally for me.

I choose to when I want to be quiet...do u?

But if u are quiet because u dont believe in urself thats a cause for concern.imsad

 

[Zahida]

Hey like i said........... it doesn't cost anything to put a smile on someones face or to make someone happy............ InshaAllah maybe someday someone might do the same for me............ Keep smiling

please don't stop using your favourite smiley because of me :bump1:

 

[Zahida]

You sound very similar to me but i can't tell people to move to the back of the que even though i was there first.......... i just don't like creating a scene......... not implying that you do but well done!!! on your bravery.....:thumbs_up

Wat u got to lose? Life's about takin risks, take it. Get out there and start talking.

Say how u feel. Leave ur mark everywhere u go lol.:-[

Less talking also means less sins, so ina way u shud be happy, but don't forget that rasululah *sa* was a peoples person, he was very approachable, relaxed, cheerful, Modest. We shud want to be like him.

I am shy! Sometimes pathetically shy! But I don't let anybody wrong me. I always speak up! Heeeey I was here first get wit the queue..I can do that in public. *I surprise myself* I can't stand injustice or people who try walk over others. It just happens naturally for me.

I choose to when I want to be quiet...do u?

But if u are quiet because u dont believe in urself thats a cause for concern.imsad

 

['Abdul Rahmaan]

Hey guys, you know what? I've the same problems that thread starter has mentioned. I was normal (even better than my fellows) back in my school days but then I dunno how it happened to me. I've tried many times to be a normal (social) guy again as I was in my school days but I couldn't get back on track. Every time I tried to get back on track, someone came and kicked me far away from the track making me realize that I should not vainly wish to be a normal guy again. I don't have words to explain much else.

 

[transition?]

Everyone has insecurities to some extent. EVERYONE.
Even if someone was a natural speaker, they still needed the practice to realize and extend their ability.
Socializing/communication takes practice because it is a skill.
The best way to gain confidence is through intelligence, through Islam and other subjects. Know what you want to talk about. Then practice expressing those ideas to other people. Other people are always quick to disagree or comment. Through experience, you'll learn to word your sentences in a concise way to reflect what you want to communicate.
You'll realize most talk is worthless nowadays.
I'm a very naturally shy person. I get nervous very easily, but you know what? When you know what you're talking about and you love what you're talking about because it's beneficial and others need to hear. You get good at it. When you get good, you'll realize it. and then you'll gain confidence.
Confidence is accepting you may mistakes and your imperfections, but trying your best at the moment and understanding that you can always improve.
Most men have made mistakes, especially when starting out new things. Why should you fear? Babies fall down a million times, but look, most of us are walking. Communication just like walking is necessary.

Making conversation is not something that can be planned to perfection. We simply have to accept the circumstances of some conversations, let some die and the others live to become intelligent discussions.
Don't feel guilty or bad when the conversation doesn't go anywhere. Just be comfortable , don't think to make every conversation perfect.
Conversations aren't made only by great speakers, but great listeners too. Fact is, sometimes people are in their one world, or are poor listeners, giving no eye contact, making faces, not paying attention.
Not everyone is kind. You know that so don't expect every convo to be this kind oh how do you do? thing. Yes, social people are very exciting speakers but do you think they waste their time on people don't care or 'bad audiences'?

 

[ghengis]

hey...listen.

people are different. everyone has strengths and weaknesses

there are extroverted personalities and introverted. in general extroverted ones seek external stimulation. they feel energized when they talk to other people. it fuels them,

introverts on the other hand can talk but not for long periods... they feel socializing drains them of energy istead and spending time on their own recharges them...

its normal behaviour.

i have a friend, a she, very extroverted. but she had a belief that made her life very difficult...it lead to her being "unfulfilled" not depressed. (depressed isn't a good word.... sound to me like your soul searching, trying to find yourself and find an environment that you can be yourself in and that encourages you../..)

anyway she wanted to be a writer, an inventor... but the more time she spent away from people the more unhappy she felt.....

play to your strenghts!! is the message i am trying to send out!!! there are numerous benefits to having astrong internal world..... creation for example, art....i'm sure when you pray you have great visions..... most dont get thius kind of novel experiences....

there is a rule: become excellent at your strengths and make your weaknesses good enough so you can manage.... use you strength...your inner world for a positive use....

another rule: what you decide in your mind is what will happen....
for example you buy a red car and all you notice after that is red cars... what your mind is looking out for it will spot. (proven scientifically)

so ask yourself: do you like other people??

beliefs play an important part in perception too... for eg if you believe you are crap at socializing you will notice the information from mthe external world specifically strengthening this belief.

..... anyway if you need more advice pm me.... i can help. easy.

its all about wat happens inside... your inner world. will eventually decide your outer world.... you in effect only see what you want... and believe it or not you have the power to choose your own beliefs. you can wake up tomorrow a different person if you want.....(if you can think it....)

/.....

last thing about learning new things......
baby learning to walk...: if the baby when it fell over once gave in because it focuses on the pain and failure of falling down it woyuldn't ever walk...... but it has a focus....
the failures dont even register. ...

another one for ya: you cant hover over the lake if you are too busy trying to stay afloat

one more: when you swim across a river and there are a lot of obstacles in the way, you will only reach the other side if you keep your eye on the shore... if you start staring at the obstacles then...... oooops!! u'll be swimming in circles!!


last bit i promise:

so lets utilize your inner world for increased spirituality... an inner world is better than an outer world u are lucky.

"know thyself" " the sage searches for the answer within" blah blah blah....

piety.... if it is to be achieved the visionary skills and imagination of an inner world are what will pave the way....

i think u need to read more.... more than just the qu'ran and hadith. i'm a revert and have to say other spiritual texts, philosophy texts, psychiatry texts, self help books, social skill books etc....are all out there, improving ones UNDERSTANDING OF ONES OWN INNER WORLD, FORMING A COHERNT AND ORGANISED INNER WORLD are wat may allow you to reach eventually to the outer realms......


lol.

anyway.... pm me anyone if u need help...

 

['Abdul Rahmaan]

anyway.... pm me anyone if u need help...

Please check your PMs.

 

[ghengis]

cant send pms bro.... i need to write 50 posts first. sorry....

i read it though.. i wrote u some cool stuff nut cant send it... lol

pm me why? u feel that way....

 

[anonymous]

OP-You have just described me through and through. I am exactly the same.

 

[Muezzin]

i hate meeting/talking to people because i simply just dont know how to. i cant keep a conversation going to save my life. even with family when speaking to them on the phone. i dont like to answer the phone/speak to them because i just dont know how to keep the convo going.
my social skills are practically dead, which makes me antisocial and too afarid to talk to people, because i just dont know how to.
i even like it when people dominate the convosation becuse that means i basically have to listen. :-[
i dont mind not talking to people, its just the fact that i cannot that bothers me.

You're not anti-social. You're just bad at small-talk. Like me. I bet given the right subject and company, you're as chatty as the rest of 'em

 

[havoka]

right i have been reading this for a long time and i wanted to say this
everybody has advantages in their lifes but it is how you use them that counts now i got speech problems yet am the most social guy you are likely to meet (i dont know why am on this tbh lol)

 

[Argamemnon]

Everyone has insecurities to some extent. EVERYONE.

Yes, but that doesn't change the fact that some people are much worse off than others. For some (like me) anxiety destroys their life.

 

[seeker-of-light]

i used to be very anti-social as well. when it comes to being social, i would start off slow. take things at your own pace and dont let people pressure you into doing things too far out of your comfort zone. i am still working on being more social as well, i am trying to be more open to people now, more than i have been in the past 3 years. hopefully this will work for you^_^

 

[anonymous]

thanks for all your replies once again

Wat u got to lose? Life's about takin risks, take it. Get out there and start talking.

Say how u feel. Leave ur mark everywhere u go lol.:-[

Less talking also means less sins, so ina way u shud be happy, but don't forget that rasululah *sa* was a peoples person, he was very approachable, relaxed, cheerful, Modest. We shud want to be like him.

I am shy! Sometimes pathetically shy! But I don't let anybody wrong me. I always speak up! Heeeey I was here first get wit the queue..I can do that in public. *I surprise myself* I can't stand injustice or people who try walk over others. It just happens naturally for me.

I choose to when I want to be quiet...do u?

lol yep im the same as you: quite, but if I have something to say, then ill say it. my prob is just when im talking to people one on one kinda thingee, that’s when I freak out lol

Making conversation is not something that can be planned to perfection. We simply have to accept the circumstances of some conversations, let some die and the others live to become intelligent discussions.
Don't feel guilty or bad when the conversation doesn't go anywhere. Just be comfortable , don't think to make every conversation perfect.

Lol I don’t try to make every convo perfect lo…but its real uncomfortable when theres like 10 seconds of dead silence and both of you are like sitting there absolutely uncomfortable thinking oooh kaay! *ahem* lol…it gets a lil awkward..thats why I prefer to stay away, so that there’s no risk of that happening.