I heard him raise his Voice

[AnonymousPoster]

There's this amazing MashaAllah person who asked me to marry him. We are both quite young so we can't really get married as much as he would like. I want to complete my high school first InshaALlah.

The other day I was talking to him, I heard him yell at his mom?

That seriously freaked me out, I mean how dare he? When I asked him who it was he spoke to and he answered "my mother", my heart broke. I was hoping it would be his brother or soemthing. I really don't seem to get passed this.

I just don't understand why he would yell at his own mother..

and the most terrifying thing of it all is..she was knocking at his door with a bowl of watermelon. Ya Allah!

He apologized to his mother and kissed her even, but I still find that hard to forget, he's really an amazing person but why did he do that. It hurt me.

 

[Re.TiReD]

:wasalamex

Most often than not when people get married or are looking to get married, they hold very high expectations of their future spouse without realising that they too are human. And as humans we all make mistakes and are flawed.

All we can do is ask Allah (swt) to forgive our shortcomings. Ameen.

Dont worry about it too much, name one person who has not made a mistake. He apologised so all good no?

WassalamuAlaykum

 

[Güven]

:salamext:

Ameen^

Anger is sometimes tough to handle but He apologised and even kissed... thats something not everybody will do isnt it...

 

[AnonymousPoster]

ur right he apologized.

I know we're human and are prone to make mistakes, I just don't like people ever raising their voice to their parents.

Other then that he's really a good person, and his parents adore him. He's really nothing like ur average young man.

I think the fact that his parents aren't practising and often make it difficult for him to follow the right path created some tension..

I got really upset with him, but still my heart hurts that he did that.

His mom isn't even mad at him too!

 

[Re.TiReD]

AssalamuAlaykum

You seem to think this bro is fab and you said his parents adore him (see you're making excuses for him there - very cute ) lol I dont see what the problem is now except to forget it insha'Allah...I mean we all have our bad days and if you see enough good in this bro to know that he isnt usually like that and is usually caring and considerate then alhamdulillah.....nobody is perfect.

WassalamuAlakum

 

[AnonymousPoster]

You are right sis..no need to further dramatize. May Allah forgive us all.

I will try to forget it..I guess.

u both made me feel better..May Allah bless u ameen.

 

[Re.TiReD]

AssalamuAlaykum

Ameen, thumma Ameen and may Allah (swt) bless you more. Ameen!

I just want to say sis that it's very easy to get put-off at the faults of others, but then we're always encouraged to think good of our Muslim brothers and sisters. If that had been you in his place, wouldnt you have wanted him to make the 70 excuses for you honey?

I know we should treat our parents with respect and somebody should have advised him against talking to his mother like that, but we are human...and as I said before - likely to err.

Take care insha'Allah and all the best.

WassalamuAlaykum

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Sa7..Indeed!
you are right, I make mistakes too, though I wouldn't yell at my mother.

I think the whole watermelon business really freaked me out..I mean...you know what I mean.

JazakaAllahkhayr sis.

 

[Re.TiReD]

AssalamuAlaykum

Lol 'watermelon business' - that made me grin for some reason lol :$

Ya know...parents, particularly mothers, are very forgiving masha'Allah ...may Allah (swt) protect our parents. Ameen.

You see, Allah (swt) places Rahmah into the hearts of mothers and thats why they are able to put their childrens needs before their own...why they are able to forgive so easily and deal with their children with the utmost of patience.

SubhanAllah.

Anyway sis I hope things work out well for you. Ameen.

WassalamuAlaykum

 

[piXie]

Saying that we are not perfect is no excuse to 'yell' at our parents. This is not a small matter. It is the greatest major sin, after shirk.

Some things you just don't do. :hmm:

As for marrying the brother or not, Allaah :arabic5: knows best about that. I don't know his side of the story, and I don't know of the whole situation or his mental condition at the time. Nevertheless, he needs to be made aware of the seriousness of speaking to his parents like that so he doesn't do it again. May Allaah forgive us and help us all.

 

[Güven]

Saying that we are not perfect is no excuse to 'yell' at our parents. This is not a small matter. It is the greatest major sin, after shirk.

Some things you just don't do. :hmm:

As for marrying the brother or not, Allaah :arabic5: knows best about that. I don't know his side of the story, and I don't know of the whole situation or his mental condition at the time. Nevertheless, he needs to be made aware of the seriousness of speaking to his parents like that so he doesn't do it again. May Allaah forgive us and help us all.

:wasalamex

yelling doesn't have to mean disobeying innit

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

make istikharah


i know for a fact i would hate anyone who disrespects mothers like that though oh:

 

[Aqeel Ahmed]

Well I know anger is hard but if you read the other thread that stats that mothers have part of heaven in them, redeems / punishes anyone cruel or who can't control his anger not only to his mother but to anyone. What do you find good in him? His looks, money, clothes, belief, faith in Allah, in my experience people who see too much good in a person is usually wrong because that person could change after marriage, keep that in mind before taking a decision.

 

[syilla]

me too can't accept the way ppl yell at their mother. its just shocking. But just because of this...i don't think u have the rights to cancel off everything...lol.

just tell him how u feel...probably it'll make u feel much better...InshaAllah

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

There's this amazing MashaAllah person who asked me to marry him. We are both quite young so we can't really get married as much as he would like. I want to complete my high school first InshaALlah.

The other day I was talking to him, I heard him yell at his mom?

That seriously freaked me out, I mean how dare he? When I asked him who it was he spoke to and he answered "my mother", my heart broke. I was hoping it would be his brother or soemthing. I really don't seem to get passed this.

I just don't understand why he would yell at his own mother..

and the most terrifying thing of it all is..she was knocking at his door with a bowl of watermelon. Ya Allah!

He apologized to his mother and kissed her even, but I still find that hard to forget, he's really an amazing person but why did he do that. It hurt me.

lol when i read the title of this thread, i thought it was gna be about how you heard some guys voice making adhaan or something and you thought it was nice, so then decided u wna marry him lol :-[

anyway somehow advice him that its wrong (ur not married, so i guess you should do it through someone)...
and if hes apologized etc to her, than all it good, leave it as is

 

[noorseeker]

Us guys take our mums for granted, they do more for sons than for daughters, always bringing food to us, even water melons , lol,

I too sometimes snap at mum, even though she is askin nicely, i do think before i speak, or i will try to inshallah

 

[piXie]

:wasalamex

yelling doesn't have to mean disobeying innit

:salamext:

They both come under violation of the rights of the parents. Infact, in some situations we are obligated to disobey our parents (when they are telling us to do something against the command of Allaah and His Messenger :arabic5 but under no situation are we allowed to yell at them. That is totally unacceptable.

Also, there is a big difference between a person who always shows disrespect towards his parents, at the slightest things, regardless of who's present and doesn't think anything of it, and a person who sometimes, due to forgetfulness or under stress or tension, shows disrespect and then feels really bad afterwards. The former shows a bad character, whilst the latter shows human weakness.

 

[Danah]

I am sorry for this but I dont know how some members here matching yelling to mothers with being imperfect :?

listen my dear.....we can yell at our friends, brothers, sisters....and any one from the same age as us....even though its a bad thing after all
but when it comes to parents.......then STOP here, there is a red line and you are trying to cross it

we are imperfect? thats our problem, but we dont drag our parents to such things...they are OUR PARERNTS....you know what I mean honey right?

I know usually we have a lot of expectations for our future partner, and we need to be more realistic in putting our conditions....but there are priorities that we cant ignore. Respecting the parents is something you cant delete from your expectations my dear.

his mother forgive him? yeah mothers are soo great and forgiving, but will he keep doing this over and over and that amazing mother keep forgiving him? then where we will reach with this?
if your children see their own father yelling at his mother, what do you expect from them to do for you and their father in the future?

well, I am not trying to be negative here....sorry if I was. But I am trying to show you the whole picture of this.

let me ask you this...did you ask him to apologize? or he did it by his own?

what was your reaction when he said that it was his mother who he was yelling at? I mean what did you say to him when he yelled?

 

[Far7an]

Sister, I'd like to have husn ad dhan and think that whilst you were talking to him a mahram was present with you. However, I would really recommend you don't talk to him anymore until your nikah insha'Allah.

Wasalaam.