anonymous
Anonymous User
- Messages
- 4,134
- Reaction score
- 133
in short, i am depressed. my father attacked me and left me in a parking lot, and all i've ever known was a split family with a depressed mother and constant switching of schools. i don't have any friends and i despise everything around me.
i want to know why if allah is real, that he can not take me back.
i have memories, that i do not feel like they are mistaken for dreams, and they are of places with pure bliss and perfect buildings and environments with perfect people. ive always felt like it was my home and i needed to go back, and that coming here was a horrible decision.
they may just be dreams i had that i've had in my mind for a while, but they're the only things that keep me going. especially right now when i feel like everything's falling apart piece-by-piece.
it's the hope in that someday i will go back that has kept me here... though that seems ironic. i am not religious.
but if allah is real, i want to go back. i don't have the ability to stay here and endure this world. if he's not and all of this was a fluke of chance, i guess it wouldn't matter anyways.
i want allah to be real, and ive always asked for signs that my memories were real. that's all i want is to be back there. but... nothing.
this sounds absurd to anyone here even that believes in allah. memories could not have possibly carried over, right? but thats just something ive always had to deal with.
i feel like i'm crazy. imsad
i want to know why if allah is real, that he can not take me back.
i have memories, that i do not feel like they are mistaken for dreams, and they are of places with pure bliss and perfect buildings and environments with perfect people. ive always felt like it was my home and i needed to go back, and that coming here was a horrible decision.
they may just be dreams i had that i've had in my mind for a while, but they're the only things that keep me going. especially right now when i feel like everything's falling apart piece-by-piece.
it's the hope in that someday i will go back that has kept me here... though that seems ironic. i am not religious.
but if allah is real, i want to go back. i don't have the ability to stay here and endure this world. if he's not and all of this was a fluke of chance, i guess it wouldn't matter anyways.
i want allah to be real, and ive always asked for signs that my memories were real. that's all i want is to be back there. but... nothing.
this sounds absurd to anyone here even that believes in allah. memories could not have possibly carried over, right? but thats just something ive always had to deal with.
i feel like i'm crazy. imsad