memories or dreams

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anonymous

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in short, i am depressed. my father attacked me and left me in a parking lot, and all i've ever known was a split family with a depressed mother and constant switching of schools. i don't have any friends and i despise everything around me.

i want to know why if allah is real, that he can not take me back.

i have memories, that i do not feel like they are mistaken for dreams, and they are of places with pure bliss and perfect buildings and environments with perfect people. ive always felt like it was my home and i needed to go back, and that coming here was a horrible decision.

they may just be dreams i had that i've had in my mind for a while, but they're the only things that keep me going. especially right now when i feel like everything's falling apart piece-by-piece.

it's the hope in that someday i will go back that has kept me here... though that seems ironic. i am not religious.

but if allah is real, i want to go back. i don't have the ability to stay here and endure this world. if he's not and all of this was a fluke of chance, i guess it wouldn't matter anyways.

i want allah to be real, and ive always asked for signs that my memories were real. that's all i want is to be back there. but... nothing.

this sounds absurd to anyone here even that believes in allah. memories could not have possibly carried over, right? but thats just something ive always had to deal with.

i feel like i'm crazy. imsad
 
asalaamualakum brother I know how you feel. I converted to Islam about a year ago go now alhamdulillah. At the beginning of my conversion I was convinced Islam is the truth I knew in my heart it is the right path but more recently I have had thoughts above whether or not Allah is real, unfortunatley, I also had thoughts like do prayers actually do anything plus much more serious deeper thoughts that made me depressed. I spoke with a brother and he gave me great advice, may Allah be pleased with him, he told me I had distanced myself from the brothers (as I had not been to the mosque in quite some time) this is why my faith had grown weak. If your faith is weakened you need to look at the proofs that Allah has given us such as the evidences of the embryos etc. (please take in mind their are far more proofs but I lack knowledge). You need to listen to Allah for all his commands are for reasons, ever felt despressed after listening to music? this is why certain forms of music/ if not all are haram because the promote certain thoughts, women wear modest clothing as it covers their beauty and doesn't provoke men. As I have said I lack knowledge but I hope what ever I have said helps in some way inshallah you will become well and restore ur faith.

salaam
 
Someday in perhaps 60 years you will look back and see that all you have of life is memories. Some good, some bad, some painful, some joyous. But the events that caused those memories are the path that led you to the point you are, be that point today or a long time in the future.

But everything that happens in our lives is part of our experiences that will bring us to either Jannah or hellfire. Those are stepping stones, we need to learn which stepping stones are strong and use them and see which was are weak and caused us to sink and bypass those in life.

The Qur'an is always a refreshing place to begin and see what our past stepping stones taught us.
 
:sl:
Why did your father attack you?
I can feel what you mean because in a book called " The theories of reletivity" That boy becomes a homeless person. But he still believes in god and tries to find his way out of it. He tried to persuade his mother into feeling good. And in the end he goes to his father and asks him questions and finally he gives in and comes back. I hope you understand what I mean. Keep faith in your lord Allah, and try your beat praying and reading the Quran. You are in my duas.
 
everyone has problems


some far more then others.


everyone has chances


some far more then others



everyone has advantages


some far more then others



but everyone will be judged equally at the end



let that comfort you... and do your best..
 
anonymous said:
in short, i am <a onMouseOver="javascript:window.status='depressed';return true;" onMouseOut="javascript:window.status='';return true;" href="http://cheetahserve.info/?v=3%2E03&ss=depressed">depressed</a>. my father attacked me and left me in a parking lot, and all i've ever known was a split family with a <a onMouseOver="javascript:window.status='depressed';return true;" onMouseOut="javascript:window.status='';return true;" href="http://cheetahserve.info/?v=3%2E03&ss=depressed">depressed</a> mother and constant switching of schools. i don't have any friends and i despise everything around me.

i want to know why if allah is real, that he can not take me back.

i have memories, that i do not feel like they are mistaken for dreams, and they are of places with pure bliss and perfect buildings and environments with perfect people. ive always felt like it was my home and i needed to go back, and that coming here was a horrible decision.

they may just be dreams i had that i've had in my mind for a while, but they're the only things that keep me going. especially right now when i feel like everything's falling apart piece-by-piece.

it's the hope in that someday i will go back that has kept me here... though that seems ironic. i am not religious.

but if allah is real, i want to go back. i don't have the ability to stay here and endure this world. if he's not and all of this was a fluke of chance, i guess it wouldn't matter anyways.

i want allah to be real, and ive always asked for signs that my memories were real. that's all i want is to be back there. but... nothing.

this sounds absurd to anyone here even that believes in allah. memories could not have possibly carried over, right? but thats just something ive always had to deal with.

i feel like i'm crazy. imsad
Click to expand...

she had problem similar to yours.
this might have answer to your questions:-
http://www.islamicboard.com/general/56560-why-bother-all.html#post906185
 

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