advise on marrriage

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yusuf18

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im 18 years old and i told my parents im ready to get married they told me to grow up but im on the verge of committing zina i want to do this for the sake of allah and get his pleasue so who is right on your opinon and also if my parents dont help me gett married then is it alowed to date becouse my parents wont help me ?advise please
 
Zina is never allowed. Bear in mind bro that you don't need your parents permission because you are a boy. BUT don't do anything drastic just yet. It probably just came as a shock to them
 
RoseGold said:
Zina is never allowed. Bear in mind bro that you don't need your parents permission because you are a boy. BUT don't do anything drastic just yet. It probably just came as a shock to them
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yea but if they dont help i have to date then isnt it ?
 
No you don't you can get some other brothers to help you, or an Imam or even the sister's parents if you have already found someone
 
I am a sister yes. Not married yet. Next few weeks InshAllah :) I am happy I am getting married and SubhanAllah the struggles I have been through to get this far. Believe me, I can understand the frustrations you're feeling but you can't lose faith in Allah. Stay strong
 
RoseGold said:
I am a sister yes. Not married yet. Next few weeks InshAllah :) I am happy I am getting married and SubhanAllah the struggles I have been through to get this far. Believe me, I can understand the frustrations you're feeling but you can't lose faith in Allah. Stay strong
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al hamdilliah good to hear that my allah make it a good marriage for u ameen and hw old r u sister
 
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

SubhaanAllah!!! May Allah grant your marriage a success.Ameen

Marriage should be done as quick as possible, can NEVER be too young!!!

FiAmaaniAllah
 
Najm said:
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

SubhaanAllah!!! May Allah grant your marriage a success.Ameen

Marriage should be done as quick as possible, can NEVER be too young!!!

FiAmaaniAllah
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ameen im in big need of marriage lol
 
This is what I don't like about traditions. I come from a Pakistani family and usually most Pakistanis prefer marriage at a later age whereas Islam encourages marriages at a youthful age. However, it is important that you can support a family, since guys typically are in charge of supporting family. Hang in there, and get some self control, Insha'Allah it will be fine, I just think you should try talking to your parents about what THEIR expectations for marriage are. And negotiate from there.
 
aminahgorilla said:
This is what I don't like about traditions. I come from a Pakistani family and usually most Pakistanis prefer marriage at a later age whereas Islam encourages marriages at a youthful age. However, it is important that you can support a family, since guys typically are in charge of supporting family. Hang in there, and get some self control, Insha'Allah it will be fine, I just think you should try talking to your parents about what THEIR expectations for marriage are. And negotiate from there.
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AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Great advice uhkti

Akhi, just speak to your parents :rollseyes

FiAmaaniAllah
 
yusuf18 said:
omg lol it is for a woman why an earth would you marry at 17 lol for a guy u can understand ?
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Lol I have heard it vice versa. In today's society it is difficult for a man to fulfil his duties as a husband and support his wife, however, for a woman, it is easy. Everyone needs and wants companionship; guy or girl :)
 
yusuf18 said:
im 18 years old and i told my parents im ready to get married they told me to grow up but im on the verge of committing zina i want to do this for the sake of allah and get his pleasue so who is right on your opinon and also if my parents dont help me gett married then is it alowed to date becouse my parents wont help me ?advise please
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Hey kiddo,

Have you found someone or do you want to find someone?

You know what proves to me that you are not ready for marriage? The fact that you arent man enough to control yourself...if you are on the verge of committing zina, you arent old enough. Gain self control. Gain insight. digest the logic behind what zina, relationships, marriage and women are...and then go to your parents.

If you dont agree with me, yallah, grab the girl and take her to your parents. tell em you dont know if she is the one..tell em you arent sure what the future holds...but u MUST marry her or else you are going to do zina. im sure they will understand. (sarcasm intended)

Remember...this woman will be ur responsibility. i hope you have enough money saved up for rainy days, for her wants and needs, incase she falls pregnant, your uni careers etc. if you depend on ur dad to handle all this...then its not fair for the girl or ur parents. or if you think u can just get the girl and force her through a simple simple marriage without any huge stability...you have got to be wary of the fact that when her frends go out etc she is gna be left out...u have to be better than anyone in the world for her...you have to make sure she doesnt feel like she is missing out on her youth. her frends will wait till they are older and they will get married...and have older successful husbands. she will be jealous. thats what women do...even if they dnt admit it. when she starts biting ur head off....you better be ready for it..

or you cud just be a man and hold on a lil longer. if our prophet waited till he was 25 even tho he was awesomely good looking...you can too.

I know im being mean...bt i cant help it sometimes. i find happiness in being a realist.
 
Sis, I didn't read all your post because I was shocked by your first point.

Have you seen this brother before? Have you been introduced to him before? Do you know him well?

How can you judge who is ready for marriage without an accurate, detailed insight into their life??
 
RoseGold said:
Sis, I didn't read all your post because I was shocked by your first point.

Have you seen this brother before? Have you been introduced to him before? Do you know him well?

How can you judge who is ready for marriage without an accurate, detailed insight into their life??
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Dont judge my post about judging the guy without reading my whole post.

Atleast i read his post..i know him as much as he wanted me to know him.
 
Sis I'm sorry but I have a very strong opinion about this. Allah had tested me for the past 3/4 yrs with people judging me and patronizing me telling me I'm too youndg to be married. I'm wasting my life. I need to sort myself out first. Always telling me I'm not ready. Now Alhamdulilah it is working out. Even though some people still see it fit to attack me with verbal aggression. Alhamdulilah, that experience has filled me with understanding for others in that position. Please don't make the brother feel insignificant the way non-muslims and muslims alike made me feel.

Would the prophet SAW have said such things to a young brother? He would have advised him to fast until a wife could be found. NOT tell him he isn't ready for marriage at all.
 
RoseGold said:
Sis I'm sorry but I have a very strong opinion about this. Allah had tested me for the past 3/4 yrs with people judging me and patronizing me telling me I'm too youndg to be married. I'm wasting my life. I need to sort myself out first. Always telling me I'm not ready. Now Alhamdulilah it is working out. Even though some people still see it fit to attack me with verbal aggression. Alhamdulilah, that experience has filled me with understanding for others in that position. Please don't make the brother feel insignificant the way non-muslims and muslims alike made me feel.

Would the prophet SAW have said such things to a young brother? He would have advised him to fast until a wife could be found. NOT tell him he isn't ready for marriage at all.
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Umm...ur a girl...i dont care how old you are. you can get married..thats cool.

HE WILL BE THE MAN OF HIS HOUSE AT 18...
 
Alpha Dude said:
Then again, people were different back then. People at 18 were thought of as being fully grown men. Nowadays we're all conditioned into this whole 'teenager' thing, where they're not fully grown, nor are they considered children. Pfft.
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That got me thinking, why if 18yr olds were seen as grown men, then would thje prophet's SAW use of the word "young" apply to them? lol I'm just curious.
 

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