Sorrow, grief and faith!

[AnonymousPoster]

Assalam - O - Alaikum,

I am writing this question after much tiredness, confusion and depression. Alhamdolilah i am a Muslim, in soul and mind, i am blessed with strong faith and true teachings of Islam. Although i have a long way to be able to call myself a Momin; but to my capacity and knowledge i try to follow the path of the righteous, i pray and practice my religion to my best possible efforts.

I know whatever befall upon us is to test us, to ensure we are on the right path and last but not the least to keep us believing Allah is there to help and guide us…or may be its just a punishment. But these few months had been very tough on me.....i lost my mother in a matter of weeks, the one person who truly understood me and helped and shaped me to whatever i am today. Composing myself and moving on was very difficult, but yet with Allah's blessings i did. Then my life took a sharp turn and my family decided to get me married to somebody, everything was going very smoothly, istikharas were all ok, the family and the person were also very good. Although initially it was difficult for me to accept this sudden and speedy pace of the matter but i surrendered; hoping this is nothing but a sure sign from Allah….as to how to move on and start a new chapter in my life.

And then out of blue complications took over and the whole thing was called off....at a time when i was really starting to feel content and realized although it came to me quite late but surely He has blessed me.

Today, i am just standing nowhere, i don’t understand why??? I am still with strong faith that Allah protected me from something that i am unaware of, he saved me.....I am still unmarried and waiting for the one he has chosen for me. But i guess in the end i am just a human, ....flesh and blood.... i am a bit shaky, i want a signal, i don’t wanna end up going to fortune tellers and other such nonsense....but yes i am getting restless. I wanna cry for no reason, i want to know is Allah angry, did i do something wrong, am i so bad???? I wanna be strong, i wanna move on.....i just want to forget, but now i am too afraid....too afraid to even imagine what if it happens again, what if it happens again, what if i fall for the wrong person, and if everything is destined to happen then why do we even try?? Why are we so restless? Please help me, is there any dua or prayer i need to make to let my heart be at peace. Please guide me…

Jazakalah Khair!

 

[sshussain]

Assalam - O - Alaikum,

I am writing this question after much tiredness, confusion and depression. Alhamdolilah i am a Muslim, in soul and mind, i am blessed with strong faith and true teachings of Islam. Although i have a long way to be able to call myself a Momin; but to my capacity and knowledge i try to follow the path of the righteous, i pray and practice my religion to my best possible efforts.

I know whatever befall upon us is to test us, to ensure we are on the right path and last but not the least to keep us believing Allah is there to help and guide us…or may be its just a punishment. But these few months had been very tough on me.....i lost my mother in a matter of weeks, the one person who truly understood me and helped and shaped me to whatever i am today. Composing myself and moving on was very difficult, but yet with Allah's blessings i did. Then my life took a sharp turn and my family decided to get me married to somebody, everything was going very smoothly, istikharas were all ok, the family and the person were also very good. Although initially it was difficult for me to accept this sudden and speedy pace of the matter but i surrendered; hoping this is nothing but a sure sign from Allah….as to how to move on and start a new chapter in my life.

And then out of blue complications took over and the whole thing was called off....at a time when i was really starting to feel content and realized although it came to me quite late but surely He has blessed me.

Today, i am just standing nowhere, i don’t understand why??? I am still with strong faith that Allah protected me from something that i am unaware of, he saved me.....I am still unmarried and waiting for the one he has chosen for me. But i guess in the end i am just a human, ....flesh and blood.... i am a bit shaky, i want a signal, i don’t wanna end up going to fortune tellers and other such nonsense....but yes i am getting restless. I wanna cry for no reason, i want to know is Allah angry, did i do something wrong, am i so bad???? I wanna be strong, i wanna move on.....i just want to forget, but now i am too afraid....too afraid to even imagine what if it happens again, what if it happens again, what if i fall for the wrong person, and if everything is destined to happen then why do we even try?? Why are we so restless? Please help me, is there any dua or prayer i need to make to let my heart be at peace. Please guide me…

Jazakalah Khair!

In Shaa Allah, this dua helped me a lot in my tough times and still helping me.

One of the means of treating them is mentioned in the saheeh hadeeth from Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him): “There is no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says: ‘Allaahumma inni ‘abduka ibn ‘abdika ibn amatija naasyati bi yadika, maada fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka. As’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghayb ‘indaka an taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’ huzni wa dhihaab hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your maidservant; my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety),’ but Allaah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it with joy.” This is one of the remedies prescribed in sharee’ah.

One can also say “Laa ilaaha illa Anta, subhaanaka inni kuntu min al-zaalimeen (none has the right to be worshipped but You (O Allaah), Glorified (and Exalted) be You [above all that (evil) they associate with You]! Truly, I have been of the wrongdoers)” [al-Anbiya 21:87 – interpretation of the meaning].

Whoever wants to know more than that should refer to what the scholars have written about dhikr, such as al-Waabil al-Sayyib by Ibn al-Qayyim; al-Kalim al-Tayyib by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Tayimiyah; al-Adhkaar by al-Nawawi; Zaad al-Ma’aad by Ibn al-Qayyim.

 

[Muhaba]

Allah isn't angry with you. You did istikhaara and the marriage was cancelled. Believe that it was for the best and all will be ok. (Better to have it ended now than after marriage.)

 

[ahmed_indian]

always have trust in Allah bro

keep remembering God's favour, jannah...they will bring peace in ur heart.

and yes there r many authentic dua's for sorrow.

Allahumma inni aaoozubika minal hamma wal huzni, wal ajzi wal kasali wal bukhli wal jubni a dal id daini wa galabatir rijal

O Allah, i take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being over powered by men.

 

[Zahida]

Muhaba could not have said it better!!!!!!

Keep strong little one, instead of feelingsad rejoice and Thank Allah for He has saved you from something that may not have been right for you.............


It maybe that you hate something which is good for you, it maybe that you love something which is bad for you............ Allah knows that which you do not............ so leave it in His hands little one. Ameen.

Allah isn't angry with you. You did istikhaara and the marriage was cancelled. Believe that it was for the best and all will be ok. (Better to have it ended now than after marriage.)

 

[The Ruler]

I'm sorry about your mother. May Allah grant her Paradise in the hereafter.

i don’t wanna end up going to fortune tellers and other such nonsense....but yes i am getting restless.

How exactly is going to a fortune-teller improve anything other than add on to your sins list? Will it change the future? And -not that I believe in any poo they spit out- what if you 'find out' something devastating? Will you be able to prevent it? You said, "Allah protected me from something that i am unaware of"... Exactly. Whatever happens in the future -good or bad- might only be something to protect you from a greater harm.

I wanna cry for no reason, i want to know is Allah angry, did i do something wrong, am i so bad????

A muslim is faced with harsher tests and trials. Only so that we can be forgiven and don't have to face the punishment in the hereafter.

I wanna be strong, i wanna move on

Then by all means, do.

what if it happens again, what if it happens again, what if i fall for the wrong person

That's just your paranoid conscience talking. Slap it. Put your trust in Allah.

if everything is destined to happen then why do we even try??

Because if I lay in bed one morning and decided to give up on life... No matter what's written in my fate, it won't happen. What I'm trying to say is that no matter what's written in our fate, if we don't work for it, we won't get it. It's like a student who doesn't revise for the exams, achieves low, then blames it on fate. That's ridiculous and downright pathetic.

Why are we so restless?

Because we allow ourselves to become so.

Your best option right now is to occupy your mind and time with something other than the thoughts of your life's misfortunes. Turn towards Allah, He's always there; listen to the Qur'an and lose yourself in the soft melody of the recitor's voice; and, of course, train you heart and soul to be stronger. =] Life is a trial. What you're going through might be a small paragraph from a voluminous book of troubles someone somewhere else may be facing right now.

 

[mathematician]

salamu 'alaykum,
What I would recommend is for you to go see a doctor. You may have a chemical misbalance. That makes life very difficult to handle. See a psychiatrist if possible.