love marriages-your thoughts

[Najm]

wa alaykum us-Salaam

i kind of disagree with that. i truly believe that a marriage can survive withOUT love. i mean at the very least, both parties have to have a mutual respect for each other, right?...no fighting,
good compromising, etc...just a like good friends

i don't believe you have to be in love with your spouse for your marriage to be successful...love, imo, isn't a foundation for a successful marriage, so i say, without it, a marriage can survive!

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Aww, uhkti i agree with you, marriage can be survive no doubt, and of course IF both parties communicate then there is mutual respect, nevertheless likely to fight over things.

I am just pointing out that parties remain unhappy if there is no love, and that leads to fighting, that leads to blame, that leads to divorce. Some people just accept being unhappy and how just things end up. imsad

Given the choice would you like your marriage with or without love?

FiAmaaniAllah

 

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Oh i never understood what "love is blind" means?

Blind as in you cant see love?
Blind as in the the person in love "feels" it?
Blind as in you never know what happens?

And the real question i want to ask is..... Can someone fall in love without seeing ?

FiAmaaniAllah

 

[nebula]

i think the term love is blind means that some people fall in love regardless of what the other persons physical state is like, the love blinds the person all they see is the inner beauty!?

lol well i think thats what it means...

 

[~Raynn~]

Lol, I understand it as more like, all you can see is beauty, whether inner or outer...and you're oblivious to any of either the person's physical flaws or faults in character...

 

[SouljahOfAllah]

free mixing is a "no no" in islam
to have a love marriage
you are free mixing

NO LOVE MARRIAGES

 

[nebula]

but i love marriages doesn't mean i love "love marriages" something to think about... imsad

 

[SouljahOfAllah]

but i love marriages doesn't mean i love "love marriages" something to think about... imsad

LOL :bump1: <-- that smilies so cute, its official;ly my fav!!

 

[chacha_jalebi]

free mixing is a "no no" in islam
to have a love marriage
you are free mixing

NO LOVE MARRIAGES

imagine a girl and guy knew each other and liked each other, then when they turned to islaam, they stop talkin obviously for islaam, and then few years later one proposed and the other accepted

would you say that a love marriage sis:shade:

 

[SouljahOfAllah]

imagine a girl and guy knew each other and liked each other, then when they turned to islaam, they stop talkin obviously for islaam, and then few years later one proposed and the other accepted

would you say that a love marriage sis:shade:

in away i would because they knew each other forehand, and they had the love in their heart for one another and that is why the other propsed and the other accepted :S. obviously they wouldnt be sinning as what they had done in the past before they became a muslim has been forgiven (inshallah)

 

[chacha_jalebi]

in away i would because they knew each other forehand, and they had the love in their heart for one another and that is why the other propsed and the other accepted :S. obviously they wouldnt be sinning as what they had done in the past before they became a muslim has been forgiven (inshallah)

interestinggggg *taps finger on head*

i think the phrase love marriage just connotes haraam, its like one of them words, its like me sayin, yeh today i took some drugs but i could have taken sme paracetamol get me, love marriage is just one of them words that connotes haraam thins!

i personally think, that if someone liked someone and asked them, thats fine, it may be described as a love marriage, but i dont see no haraam in it

 

[SouljahOfAllah]

interestinggggg *taps finger on head*

i think the phrase love marriage just connotes haraam, its like one of them words, its like me sayin, yeh today i took some drugs but i could have taken sme paracetamol get me, love marriage is just one of them words that connotes haraam thins!

i personally think, that if someone liked someone and asked them, thats fine, it may be described as a love marriage, but i dont see no haraam in it

yh i get what u mean, certainly theire cant be HATE MARRIAGES lol, but we have to know our limits at the end of the day that person is not yours YET.

 

[honestme1]

i am of the opinion (as are alot of other people) that if a guy/girl have a love-marriage (i.e talk, laugh, flirt and all that other nauseating stuff that isn't allowed for non-mahrams to do before marriage) , then the chances are that later on down the marriage (if they do end up getting married) one is going to cheat on the other, simply because there is not fear of allah there in the first place. i.e if they he/she didnt fear Allah the first time round, then there isnt really going to be anything to stop them from committing the same sin twice, right? (i mean if they dont repent and fix their ways, etc)

your thoughts?

I think flirting or not flirting is a personal preference. I also think that a love marriage or simply a relationship is not terribly as bad as some people think it is. When I used to be a muslim, I always thought that talking to a guy is the worst thing ever. I thought It will cause me to burn in fire in akhirat. However, now that I am grown up, I think otherwise. Once I got in a relationship with my boyfriend, I learned so much about myself. I also learned that one should know the meaning of a relationship before he/she gets married. If I marrry my boyfriend, I will be sure that I married the right person. If I decide to marry someone else, I will have learned from my current relationship and thus make a better decision next time.

I am not against arranged marriages because sometimes it might be a good solution for some.

Peace

 

[Al-Layl]

Hmm I think arranged marriages refers to the part when one is introduced to a potential through parents? when this is carried out islamically, where parents understand the needs of their child and are basically taking it under thier resonsibility to 'find' Mr/Miss Right for their children..then not only is it 110% Halaal but they are far better, easy, simple, bless full, rewarding and basically free from any other trouble and heartache...otherwise things can just be very dangerous and unnecessarilly diffucult...

 

[honestme1]

Hmm I think arranged marriages refers to the part when one is introduced to a potential through parents? when this is carried out islamically, where parents understand the needs of their child and are basically taking it under thier resonsibility to 'find' Mr/Miss Right for their children..then not only is it 110% Halaal but they are far better, easy, simple, bless full, rewarding and basically free from any other trouble and heartache...otherwise things can just be very dangerous and unnecessarilly diffucult...

Why would things be dangerous?

 

[honestme1]

i am of the opinion (as are alot of other people) that if a guy/girl have a love-marriage (i.e talk, laugh, flirt and all that other nauseating stuff that isn't allowed for non-mahrams to do before marriage) , then the chances are that later on down the marriage (if they do end up getting married) one is going to cheat on the other, simply because there is not fear of allah there in the first place. i.e if they he/she didnt fear Allah the first time round, then there isnt really going to be anything to stop them from committing the same sin twice, right? (i mean if they dont repent and fix their ways, etc)

your thoughts?

I think cheating does not depend on whether or not you had a relationship with your husband before marriage. I am in a relationship with my boyfriend and he is not even my husband, but it is not in my nature to cheat on him or anyone else that might enter my life. I think cheating is a matter of personal dissorder. Some people will cheat even if they had an arranged marriage. I can bet that people that do arrange marriages might cheat more because they degree of dissatisfaction might be higher due to differences in personalities. However, if you spend at least a year or two with a man or a woman, you are more likely to know the person and you decision will be solide. You will leave your girlfriend/boyfriend and not get married if you know you will end up unsatisfied, thus luring later.

 

[honestme1]

i am of the opinion (as are alot of other people) that if a guy/girl have a love-marriage (i.e talk, laugh, flirt and all that other nauseating stuff that isn't allowed for non-mahrams to do before marriage) , then the chances are that later on down the marriage (if they do end up getting married) one is going to cheat on the other, simply because there is not fear of allah there in the first place. i.e if they he/she didnt fear Allah the first time round, then there isnt really going to be anything to stop them from committing the same sin twice, right? (i mean if they dont repent and fix their ways, etc)

your thoughts?

I think cheating does not depend on whether or not you had a relationship with your husband before marriage. I am in a relationship with my boyfriend and he is not even my husband, but it is not in my nature to cheat on him or anyone else that might enter my life. I think cheating is a matter of personal dissorder. Some people will cheat even if they had an arranged marriage. I can bet that people that do arrange marriages might cheat more because their degree of dissatisfaction might be higher due to differences in personalities. However, if you spend at least a year or two with a man or a woman, you are more likely to know the person and your decision will be more solide. You will leave your girlfriend/boyfriend and not get married if you know you will end up unsatisfied, thus luring later.

 

[~Raynn~]

I can bet that people that do arrange marriages might cheat more because their degree of dissatisfaction might be higher due to differences in personalities. However, if you spend at least a year or two with a man or a woman, you are more likely to know the person and your decision will be more solide. You will leave your girlfriend/boyfriend and not get married if you know you will end up unsatisfied, thus luring later.

'Due to differences in personalities'...aren't opposites supposed to attract?? Lol, in my opinion, you don't have to have all the same likes and dislikes as the other person...you just have to share the same principles - principles which arise from your background and upbringing, which is what your parents'll look for first when considering a spouse for you... and with time, as you raise a family and whatever, your tastes, your goals, will merge together...

Love marriages are totally fine, but I still can't see what's preferable in living together without marrying...the commitment of marriage'll make you reconsider before breaking the relationship for any petty differences, make you work harder towards it...and if you're truly unhappy, it's not like there's no way out...

Hmmm...

 

[Shah4Justice]

hey guys, i have an idea!
would'nt it be better to LOVE THE ONE U MARRY !!! and LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER :statisfie it'll be like Allah swt says "wa laa khaufun alayhim, wa laa yahzanoon..." this is for momineen and mominaat, a great blessing from Allah swt that they will have no fear, no guilt/suffering/sad memories/pain. its not that momineen and mominaat will only have these blessings in the hereafter, Allah's true servant do get rewarded in this life also...and we all know that.

قُلْنَا اهْبِطُواْ مِنْهَا جَمِيعاً فَإِمَّا يَأْتِيَنَّكُم مِّنِّي هُدًى فَمَن تَبِعَ هُدَايَ فَلاَ خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلاَ هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ​

2:38 (Asad) [For although] We did say, "Down with you all from this [state]," there shall, none the less, most certainly come unto you guidance from Me: and those who follow My guidance need have no fear, and neither shall they grieve;

بَلَى مَنْ أَسْلَمَ وَجْهَهُ لِلّهِ وَهُوَ مُحْسِنٌ فَلَهُ أَجْرُهُ عِندَ رَبِّهِ وَلاَ خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلاَ هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ (2:112​

2:112 (Asad) Yea, indeed: everyone who surrenders his whole being unto God, [91] and is a doer of good withal, shall have his reward with his Sustainer; and all such need have no fear, and neither shall they grieve.

وَاللّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِإِيمَانِكُمْ بَعْضُكُم مِّن بَعْضٍ فَانكِحُوهُنَّ بِإِذْنِ أَهْلِهِنَّ وَآتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ مُحْصَنَاتٍ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحَاتٍ وَلاَ مُتَّخِذَاتِ أَخْدَانٍ​

4:25 ......... And God knows all about your faith; each one of you is an issue of the other. [31] Marry them, then, with their people's leave, and give them their dowers in an equitable manner - they being women who give themselves in honest wedlock, not in fornication, nor as secret love-companions.......


IS LOVE B4 MARRIAGE STILL AN ISSUE?
Dont u agree?

 

[Shah4Justice]

I had a land-lady once in melbourne, a very educated German lady in my university, very decent woman, with 3 beautiful kids. David was the youngest of the 3 the lady was an atheist, yet for some Allah knows what reason, she was doing a PhD on Islam.
Anyways, i once asked her that y have I never seen those kids father visiting them or her...and to my surprise, she goes, "they dont have a father, I was with someone for more than 3 years, we wanted to see if we can spend our lives together before we actually got married, and then in the end we found out that WE COULD'NT"...so there...three innocent kids, victims of a trial, would be raised without their father....
and it really really hurts me to mention all this...but I think today I need to, coz some of us think they should see the one they "love" before marriage...(in the name of "getting to know each other well & to see if they would get along well and will be able to spend the whole life together) ...
by the time they get married (to each other or to someone else) they dont have much left to give to their life partner..

Hey my lovely brothers and sisters...dont get me wrong. I AM NOT AGAINST LOVE...We must love..but in the right order...
1. love the one who created us and blessed us with soooo much (unconditional)
2. love the one who brought the true message from our creator and took all the pain to spread it.
3. love the ones who by allah's will brought us into this world (our parents) and ask for not much but respect and love.
4. love our brothers and sisters who help us stand and try to make us smile in our life's tough moments.
5. Love the wives/husbands who help us lead pious lives, share our problems with us, fight and laugh with us, feel our pain in their selves...
6. love our kids who always look upto us...and feel that we are the best in this world.
7. there are soooo many others to be loved in a legal and pious manner.

friends...plz dont hate me for saying all this... I'v been loved too much by the above mentioned and so have u.
I'd rather save the love for someone who will some day honor me by becoming my wife, than to waste it on TRIALS !:statisfie

 

[buddy1]

honey, if someone is going to cheat on thier husband or wife, then they will, its down to being misguided and selfish...... BUT! (as always there is a but!) if you are forced in to a marraige, to someone you dont know who u believe is o so wrong for you, what are your chances of leaving them for the one you really love (or beleive you love!) just as strong i think? (correct me if Im wrong) but thats not through having no fear of allah im sure, i think its from doing what they feel is right!? i hope that sounds right?xxx