FatimaAsSideqah
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^^ I have to say, I am agree with you. Let to say 50:50.
Help/advise required.
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it is strange how we are concerened more for the others than for our own self!
Allah has ordered us to save our self first!!! <<why do we bother with others more>>> from the hell fire secondly our family
<<have we done this commandment?
lets forget what the rest our doing lets get back in track our self first learn our deen and practise and be patient in it and call to it.
and as for not getting married;
{And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad ), and made for them wives and offspring. And it was not for a Messenger to bring a sign except by Allaah's Leave. (For) each and every matter there is a Decree (from Allaah).} (Soorah ar-Ra'd, Aayah 38)
And the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) also married, and he said:
«Indeed, I marry women. So, whoever goes against my Sunnah, then he is not from me.»
Because of this, the scholars have said: "marriage for one who experiences desires is better than voluntary acts of worship, since it entails much good"
having said that i think u should look out you may have magic done on you so do check your self ,Allah knows Best
again lets look at our self and not let others stuff concern us if Allah wills you learn more about deen you will get to see and know inshallah there are many muslimah good ones ,
, now if we look at other side ourselves, MAN, it is actually mostly our fault becouse we have lost control of our duties to support and protect our dignity , if we were to learn righteous knowledge and apply it in our homes surely women and kids will be better but it is the man then women fault cos we also knwo that women in genaral aspect are weaker than man so what do you expect ?
open your eyes cos you wont find a man like the sahaba nor a women like the wifes of sahaba so wake up come to reality dont blame others but our own self learn learn and learn the deen, help the truth by learning it !
and to end Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) has said:
«O youthful people, if any of you have the means to, he should get married, as it lowers the eyesight and protects the private parts. Those who have not the ability to do so should fast, as it will be a shield for him». This was recorded by al-Bukhaaree and Muslim.
The Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) also said:
«If one whose religion and character pleases you proposes to you, you should marry him. If you do not do so, then will be tribulations in the land and great evil». This was recorded by at-Tirmidhee with a hasan chain.
Allah has ordered us to save our self first!!! <<why do we bother with others more>>> from the hell fire secondly our family
<<have we done this commandment?
lets forget what the rest our doing lets get back in track our self first learn our deen and practise and be patient in it and call to it.
and as for not getting married;
{And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad ), and made for them wives and offspring. And it was not for a Messenger to bring a sign except by Allaah's Leave. (For) each and every matter there is a Decree (from Allaah).} (Soorah ar-Ra'd, Aayah 38)
And the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) also married, and he said:
«Indeed, I marry women. So, whoever goes against my Sunnah, then he is not from me.»
Because of this, the scholars have said: "marriage for one who experiences desires is better than voluntary acts of worship, since it entails much good"
having said that i think u should look out you may have magic done on you so do check your self ,Allah knows Best
again lets look at our self and not let others stuff concern us if Allah wills you learn more about deen you will get to see and know inshallah there are many muslimah good ones ,
, now if we look at other side ourselves, MAN, it is actually mostly our fault becouse we have lost control of our duties to support and protect our dignity , if we were to learn righteous knowledge and apply it in our homes surely women and kids will be better but it is the man then women fault cos we also knwo that women in genaral aspect are weaker than man so what do you expect ?
open your eyes cos you wont find a man like the sahaba nor a women like the wifes of sahaba so wake up come to reality dont blame others but our own self learn learn and learn the deen, help the truth by learning it !
and to end Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) has said:
«O youthful people, if any of you have the means to, he should get married, as it lowers the eyesight and protects the private parts. Those who have not the ability to do so should fast, as it will be a shield for him». This was recorded by al-Bukhaaree and Muslim.
The Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) also said:
«If one whose religion and character pleases you proposes to you, you should marry him. If you do not do so, then will be tribulations in the land and great evil». This was recorded by at-Tirmidhee with a hasan chain.
it is strange how we are concerened more for the others than for our own self!
Allah has ordered us to save our self first!!! <<why do we bother with others more>>> from the hell fire secondly our family
<<have we done this commandment?
lets forget what the rest our doing lets get back in track our self first learn our deen and practise and be patient in it and call to it.
and as for not getting married;
{And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad ), and made for them wives and offspring. And it was not for a Messenger to bring a sign except by Allaah's Leave. (For) each and every matter there is a Decree (from Allaah).} (Soorah ar-Ra'd, Aayah 38)
And the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) also married, and he said:
«Indeed, I marry women. So, whoever goes against my Sunnah, then he is not from me.»
Because of this, the scholars have said: "marriage for one who experiences desires is better than voluntary acts of worship, since it entails much good"
having said that i think u should look out you may have magic done on you so do check your self ,Allah knows Best
again lets look at our self and not let others stuff concern us if Allah wills you learn more about deen you will get to see and know inshallah there are many muslimah good ones ,
, now if we look at other side ourselves, MAN, it is actually mostly our fault becouse we have lost control of our duties to support and protect our dignity , if we were to learn righteous knowledge and apply it in our homes surely women and kids will be better but it is the man then women fault cos we also knwo that women in genaral aspect are weaker than man so what do you expect ?
open your eyes cos you wont find a man like the sahaba nor a women like the wifes of sahaba so wake up come to reality dont blame others but our own self learn learn and learn the deen, help the truth by learning it !
and to end Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) has said:
«O youthful people, if any of you have the means to, he should get married, as it lowers the eyesight and protects the private parts. Those who have not the ability to do so should fast, as it will be a shield for him». This was recorded by al-Bukhaaree and Muslim.
The Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) also said:
«If one whose religion and character pleases you proposes to you, you should marry him. If you do not do so, then will be tribulations in the land and great evil». This was recorded by at-Tirmidhee with a hasan chain.
Allah has ordered us to save our self first!!! <<why do we bother with others more>>> from the hell fire secondly our family
<<have we done this commandment?
lets forget what the rest our doing lets get back in track our self first learn our deen and practise and be patient in it and call to it.
and as for not getting married;
{And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad ), and made for them wives and offspring. And it was not for a Messenger to bring a sign except by Allaah's Leave. (For) each and every matter there is a Decree (from Allaah).} (Soorah ar-Ra'd, Aayah 38)
And the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) also married, and he said:
«Indeed, I marry women. So, whoever goes against my Sunnah, then he is not from me.»
Because of this, the scholars have said: "marriage for one who experiences desires is better than voluntary acts of worship, since it entails much good"
having said that i think u should look out you may have magic done on you so do check your self ,Allah knows Best
again lets look at our self and not let others stuff concern us if Allah wills you learn more about deen you will get to see and know inshallah there are many muslimah good ones ,
, now if we look at other side ourselves, MAN, it is actually mostly our fault becouse we have lost control of our duties to support and protect our dignity , if we were to learn righteous knowledge and apply it in our homes surely women and kids will be better but it is the man then women fault cos we also knwo that women in genaral aspect are weaker than man so what do you expect ?
open your eyes cos you wont find a man like the sahaba nor a women like the wifes of sahaba so wake up come to reality dont blame others but our own self learn learn and learn the deen, help the truth by learning it !
and to end Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) has said:
«O youthful people, if any of you have the means to, he should get married, as it lowers the eyesight and protects the private parts. Those who have not the ability to do so should fast, as it will be a shield for him». This was recorded by al-Bukhaaree and Muslim.
The Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) also said:
«If one whose religion and character pleases you proposes to you, you should marry him. If you do not do so, then will be tribulations in the land and great evil». This was recorded by at-Tirmidhee with a hasan chain.
ATHEISTofPEACE
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I do not know this.
Sahabiyaat
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im a pakistani muslim girl.
anyway,do u really think if the husbands of these woman who run away (not cheat, because there is NO excuse for cheating on your spouse),were to treat them just as the prophet did his wives, their wives would leave them?
It is because they are mistreated, neglected, abused, and taken for as an object, that they finally break and want a way out.You are very narrow minded if you think, one sunny morning they have this sudden impulse to pack their bags because THEY are decietful/cheating/impious etc..
Why are you taking the e.g of other peoples marriages? and on that basis, refusing proposals and choosing celibacy?.ll you need to do is open you mind a bit and look for the right person with the qualities you find attractive.
Its not impossible my brother, as impossible as it may seem sometimes, and i know this is SO cheesy, but there is somone out there for you! .And treat her like you would glass, as that is how they prophet described us, because glass breaks easily.
Little one every step of your life is undoubtfullness as you put it .............. you are just jumping to conclusions and not really giving anything a chance.............you need to learn to tackle and face difficulties as they arise and if you put your trust in Allah 100% then there are no obstacles because He will always guide you.............You need to try and stop being so negative, everyone has had some bad experience of some sort there is no such thing as PERFECT................
^ Agree with the above!
There are, no doubt, many many good women out there. And men.
We cannot base our lives around the experiences of others. If we did it's unlikely we'd ever leave our homes for fear of everything bad that could happen. Those men who have had wives of the nature you described, you are not them. It makes complete sense that you don't want to get married and wind up in a similar relationship to that of your parents. But you are not them.
There is good and bad in everyone; it's up to you to make things work for yourself. I agree entirely with an earlier post which suggested it all begins with you. If you take responsibility for yourself, do what you need to do and are striving for good; there's nothing you can't handle, God willing.
Take care of you before you attempt to take care of anyone else.
There are, no doubt, many many good women out there. And men.
We cannot base our lives around the experiences of others. If we did it's unlikely we'd ever leave our homes for fear of everything bad that could happen. Those men who have had wives of the nature you described, you are not them. It makes complete sense that you don't want to get married and wind up in a similar relationship to that of your parents. But you are not them.
There is good and bad in everyone; it's up to you to make things work for yourself. I agree entirely with an earlier post which suggested it all begins with you. If you take responsibility for yourself, do what you need to do and are striving for good; there's nothing you can't handle, God willing.
Take care of you before you attempt to take care of anyone else.
anonymous
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I can understand your feelings brother.
‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not harm his neighbors. And I command you to take good care of the women.’ (Bukhari)
Even when women misbehave, tolerance and not violence is recommended, as a way to solve the problem. The Prophet (pbuh) said:
‘No believing man should hate a believing woman, if he hates one of her manners, he should be satisfied with another.’
The same meaning is repeated in a heavenly advice for husbands through the Qur'an - the holy book of Muslims – that says:
... live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good. (Surah 4 Verse 19)
I just put the facts on here.
Not all of women are bad because many many plenty of pious, believers women out there. Trust me.
Thanks sister. I am very well aware of all of them
.Brother, there is no magic in me. Nothing is wrong with me. The issue is, these women are too sexualized. They can't control themselves. Why should I pay the price of her being stupid? I haven't had any girlfriend, or any relation with any girl whatsoever. How am I able to prevent myself, yet these women can not? My family isn't the best, its actually not even on average. Yet, I am able to be a good muslim practising bro as i can be to the max.
im a pakistani muslim girl.
anyway,do u really think if the husbands of these woman who run away (not cheat, because there is NO excuse for cheating on your spouse),were to treat them just as the prophet did his wives, their wives would leave them?
It is because they are mistreated, neglected, abused, and taken for as an object, that they finally break and want a way out.You are very narrow minded if you think, one sunny morning they have this sudden impulse to pack their bags because THEY are decietful/cheating/impious etc..
Why are you taking the e.g of other peoples marriages? and on that basis, refusing proposals and choosing celibacy?.ll you need to do is open you mind a bit and look for the right person with the qualities you find attractive.
Its not impossible my brother, as impossible as it may seem sometimes, and i know this is SO cheesy, but there is somone out there for you! .And treat her like you would glass, as that is how they prophet described us, because glass breaks easily.
No offense to you sis, but I am open minded. Apparently, sisters such as you , claiming that "men like us" are narrow minded and did I mention "uneducated" are the only lamest reason to give. These husbands Did not abuse them at all, they did everything they could for them! They are not bad, trust me. And hypotheticaly, in marriages issues do arise. However, there are ways to dealt with them. This does not mean, if the wife is being unloved, she should seek haraam ways of doing so. IF that is the case, the women is at fault, being weak, and has fallen for shai'taan. Don't blame everything on men, there are certain responsbilites for a wife, no matter what.
^ Agree with the above!
There are, no doubt, many many good women out there. And men.
We cannot base our lives around the experiences of others. If we did it's unlikely we'd ever leave our homes for fear of everything bad that could happen. Those men who have had wives of the nature you described, you are not them. It makes complete sense that you don't want to get married and wind up in a similar relationship to that of your parents. But you are not them.
There is good and bad in everyone; it's up to you to make things work for yourself. I agree entirely with an earlier post which suggested it all begins with you. If you take responsibility for yourself, do what you need to do and are striving for good; there's nothing you can't handle, God willing.
Take care of you before you attempt to take care of anyone else.
I can take care of myself more than anyone else. I have never troubled my parents about anything or anyone else. I've learned to deal with life's issue. The case is that, trusting another woman is something I don't like, especially now adays. Right, again i am going to say it. The men do the best they can, yet these women still want more. I am speaking from experience here. The husband asked his wife, and she replied "I just don't love you anymore, I like thsi other man, he is better". What do you have to say to that then?
That is a real quote. An imaam's wife had committed adultery, far worse. And he's been very good to her, she said samething "I just don't love you anymore, i love someone else, he is better". I'm sorry, but I don't want to handle that kind of B.S.
I doubt any of you will understand what I am trying to convey here. But few of the posts, had suggest that There are good women and if its luck or fate on my side, i'll meet one. But there are good men who are betrayed and hurt like that, and I'm sure many of you watch news and seen such cases.
Thanks for posting and everything, appreciate it.
Mysterious Uk
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To put it simply: If you don't want to ge married then don't, at least not until some of your feelings towards women are a bit resolved. To be honest it wouldn't be fair on a future wife if you think she is potentially a cheat or untrustworthy.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but just being honest really.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but just being honest really.
Bro', what are you?
Are you martian?
You're human.
Every human is a human.
You say you are open-minded.
As practising as you say you are, you being human, don't you think there are other humans who share your attitudes? Humans are male and female.
Are you martian?
You're human.
Every human is a human.
You say you are open-minded.
As practising as you say you are, you being human, don't you think there are other humans who share your attitudes? Humans are male and female.
أبو سليمان عمر
Abu Sulayman Umar
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If you are not ready dont marry
You will have to marry some time. Here's my advice: find a sister suitable for a basic wife,note all small details and ask questions and see if she hesitates don't ask her FBI kind of questions rather east going ones. Post all questions here.
Source: whatever came into my mind while reading this.
Source: whatever came into my mind while reading this.
أبو سليمان عمر
Abu Sulayman Umar
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what do you mean by (ask questions and see if she hesitates) ?
أبو سليمان عمر
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The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged marrying women who are religiously committed, as he said: “Women may be married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may your prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466.
Who is the woman who is religiously committed?
http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/96584
Who is the woman who is religiously committed?
http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/96584
Ummu Sufyaan
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ditto...akhee, if that's your attitude towards women, quite frankly she's better off with someone who appreciates her and trusts her... :rollseyes
would you want your wife to think of you like that...
Mujahidah4Allah
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Besides the story of the imam have you also seen this experience of these type of women within your own home? Pious and righteous women are slightly hard to seek, but it doesn't mean they don't exist, maybe you should read about leading ladies in Islam to clear some sort of doubt thats within?
wa/salam
burdenofbeing
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A shrink will help. It's natural that you think it won't. It WILL help.
Najm
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AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu
All this help and advise is great to hear, and most are really good.
First of all, you MUST be a very pious brother > near perfect, so your concerned about all these women, because your clearly the best, and all the women are the worst.
I noticed a very big problem with the opening post. Big problem.......Your blaming your "problems" to be women.
Your not prepared to take any blame, its all about the women, they did this and that. They wear hijab and be bad etc etc etc
And maybe its your understanding but in reality most women are respectful, loving and caring etc. Its usually the men who abuse them etc Do you expect your mum to take it when your dad abuses your mum all the time? I dont think so.
Hijab or non-hijab, muslim or non-muslim. We are all humans, and humans make mistake. I can surely tell you, that your not perfect, we all have done things we regret. Lets stop blaming others and taking things out of context to prove a point. We never know why something, happens without the whole story. They are just all rumours. Stop listening.
If you think that "pakistani" women are like this and that then clearly you havent seen enough. Lets not indulge in other peoples business, cause only Allah (Subhana WaTa'ala) knows all.
Why dont you have courage and be the better man? You stayed away from "girls" from high school > thats great!! Dont think your "only" one cause you arent.
Get married, and show how its done. Be the best husband you can, and if you do that then you will surely have the best wife with you, because she will have respect for you....and love grows, and when that happens then all the negatives of life disappears.
Dont base your life on other people, cause you dont know all. You get to live your life the way you want. Have the right attitude, Islam teaches us the right attitude. If you yourself have the right attitude there wont be any problems. Show respect. Be humble. Be Patient.
Teach yourself to respect others especially women.
FiAmaaniAllah
All this help and advise is great to hear, and most are really good.
First of all, you MUST be a very pious brother > near perfect, so your concerned about all these women, because your clearly the best, and all the women are the worst.
I noticed a very big problem with the opening post. Big problem.......Your blaming your "problems" to be women.
Your not prepared to take any blame, its all about the women, they did this and that. They wear hijab and be bad etc etc etc
And maybe its your understanding but in reality most women are respectful, loving and caring etc. Its usually the men who abuse them etc Do you expect your mum to take it when your dad abuses your mum all the time? I dont think so.
Hijab or non-hijab, muslim or non-muslim. We are all humans, and humans make mistake. I can surely tell you, that your not perfect, we all have done things we regret. Lets stop blaming others and taking things out of context to prove a point. We never know why something, happens without the whole story. They are just all rumours. Stop listening.
If you think that "pakistani" women are like this and that then clearly you havent seen enough. Lets not indulge in other peoples business, cause only Allah (Subhana WaTa'ala) knows all.
Why dont you have courage and be the better man? You stayed away from "girls" from high school > thats great!! Dont think your "only" one cause you arent.
Get married, and show how its done. Be the best husband you can, and if you do that then you will surely have the best wife with you, because she will have respect for you....and love grows, and when that happens then all the negatives of life disappears.
Dont base your life on other people, cause you dont know all. You get to live your life the way you want. Have the right attitude, Islam teaches us the right attitude. If you yourself have the right attitude there wont be any problems. Show respect. Be humble. Be Patient.
Teach yourself to respect others especially women.
FiAmaaniAllah
TrueStranger
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You are too concerned about the lives of others bro and very quick at generalizing and spilling the faults of others. You can’t easily criticize others without knowing their situation and what lead to it. And enough with the blaming game, and who is more licentious. You speak about personal experiences, yet you claim to have never been involved with a woman, so what are these “personal experiences” you speak about other then them “verbally bullying” you? You are holding serious grudges bro, which are not healthy for you. Accusing others of committing adultery is a serious claim, especially when you didn’t see them committing such an act with your own two eyes. So I suggest you stop such degrading accusations that are based on hearsay!
If you don’t want to get married, then don’t. You are a grown man, tell your mom what little trust you have for women, I am sure she will understand.
Salaam
If she hesitates she's a nice women because she has not done anything bad enought to practice that question for when someone asks it.
It's ok if you don't worry only genius people recognize hard core grammar.
It's ok if you don't worry only genius people recognize hard core grammar.