Was this my life? Is this all Allah had planned for me? :(

[AnonymousPoster]

I've been depressed for so long now (years yes YEARS) that I have completely lost faith in Allah. I used to pray so much with a sincere heart and with true and painful tears, pouring my heart out to Allah. I still feel the need to pray, but having the sincerety and even trying to believe that eventually my duas will be answered and I will get better is an impossibilty.

Nowadays when I get on the prayer mat, I have crazy thoughts in my head like, “oh here we go, I have to force myself to pray even though my life is in tatters. This is a joke, Allah won’t listen to me, He never has in the past decade why would He listen now” I do end up finishing my prayer but very grudgingly and angrily. I can’t do it with a sincere heart anymore. When I did I was still ignored.

It's probably not worth me praying if I haven't got the sincerity in my heart right? Should I just give up altogether and accept that this is my life and I will NEVER get better?

Please don't tell me things will change and I have to believe they will and all that crap because my kismet is already written, I can't do anything, that's right NOT even make dua because it will never be accepted.

Please don't tell me I will live a happier life in the hereafter, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE ONLY ALLAH SWT KNOWS!!!

After years and years of trying to make my life better, it collapses on top of me again and again. I pray and I pray and yes I shouldn't be complaining like this but how else am I supposed to let this anger and these frustrations out to release the tension?

No one else listens, my family don't care, my friends are sick of me and my depression and my mood swings, they don’t even care anymore.

I wake up every morning feeling painfully lonely, empty, like I'm already dead just walking around in a body, nothing to look forward too, no true friends, no family who actually care. I drive around in my car and I just cry while i'm driving, I used to play the Qur'an CD, but not even that makes me feel better. Even after praying, I feel lifeless and empty.

Why should anyone care how I feel? Afterall, I'm just another 'nobody' walking around on this earth waiting to drop dead with this torturous pain and loneliness.

I say Istighfar all the time but I can't say it like I mean it, I can't recite the Qur'an like I mean it anymore, I can't read any dua like I mean it anymore, I feel treacherously hopeless. All these words can't describe the pain and suffering I'm going through.

What do I do? Should I just give up and accept that I was born to live in misery? If Allah swt is Forgiving, why after years of asking for forgiveness am I still suffering this much? Why do people say "Allah doesn't burden a soul more than it can bear"? When I feel i could collapse and die any minute from this pain that has built up over the years and has got too much for me to handle?

Do I really have to accept the fact that i will NEVER see the light at the end of the tunnel?

"Verily after hardship comes relief" YES that is correct for most EXCEPT ME!

"No soul is burdened with more than it can bare" YES for most EXCEPT ME!!!!!

None of these matter to all of you, you are just reading, you can't feel what i feel.

These words are nothing. I'm nothing, this world is nothing!!! My pain doesn't mean anything to anybody.

I see happy people, I get so angry and upset!


DON'T TELL ME THEY MIGHT BE UNHAPPY BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!!!! AT LEAST THEY CAN MANAGE A SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!


One day people will be sad and the next day they find relief. Allah swt eases their pain after a short while.

But my pain doesn't matter, it carries on and on and it doesn't stop hurting. This is not a TEST IT'S NEVERENDING TORTURE!!!!!

Are you all happy? haha, did you all find 'relief after hardship' hahahaaaaaa GOOD FOR U!!!!!!!

Are any of you going through hardship right now this very minute????? What is your hardship? It's probably so minor and pathetic you call it HARDSHIP LOL!!!!!!

Don't worry about me, I'm just another excuse for a human being!!!!! MY FEELINGS DON'T COUNT!!!!!! Me, my life, my feelings, my thoughts, me just being on this earth, itcounts for NOTHING!!

SORRY IF I'VE OFFENDED ANYONE I DON'T MEAN TO, YOUR PROBLEMS MUST BE REAL BAD!!!!!

What are you going to tell me next? That I have a roof over my head, I have bread to eat and clothes to wear?????? WHAT IS THE POINT WHEN I'M LIVING IN MISERY!!!!!!!


GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL IN YOUR SHORT LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[aamirsaab]

You are going through a phase; everyone does at some point.

Take up a hobby like kick boxing or something - you're angry and you need to find an outlet.

If that doesn't work; find a purpose to live; whether it be to grow plants or make people smile. Big or small - it will make a difference to you.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Nowadays when I get on the prayer mat, I have crazy thoughts in my head like, “oh here we go, I have to force myself to pray even though my life is in tatters. This is a joke, Allah won’t listen to me, He never has in the past decade why would He listen now” I do end up finishing my prayer but very grudgingly and angrily. I can’t do it with a sincere heart anymore. When I did I was still ignored.

no you dont get ignored, your dua isnt always answered in the way you want.

It's probably not worth me praying if I haven't got the sincerity in my heart right?

nope, thats called giving into satan. what you could try, is putting every effort into ignoring these thoughts...tbh, you sound like the type that gives up easily. if so, the best way to overcome this, is just to train your self to be patient (as daunting as it maybe) in all honesty there is no other solution becuase if you loose patience, then it'll just add to your frustration and irritation. really, it works zilch...

Should I just give up altogether and accept that this is my life and I will NEVER get better?

what you should do, is realise that life is a test and patience is a virtue. what i have realized is that the more someone waits to get better, the more they get frustrated when it doesn't simply becuase they expect to have thier needs and wants fulfilled in a certain time frame. this isn't the proper attitude to have, rather take each days as it comes...take each test and bare it with patience as it is thrown at you and NEVER give up hope---> it KILLS the soul...

Please don't tell me things will change and I have to believe they will and all that crap because my kismet is already written, I can't do anything, that's right NOT even make dua because it will never be accepted.

says the hopeless one...im sorry but thats how you seem.

Please don't tell me I will live a happier life in the hereafter, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE ONLY ALLAH SWT KNOWS!!!

and you dont either...

Why should anyone care how I feel? Afterall, I'm just another 'nobody'walking around on this earth waiting to drop dead with this torturous pain and loneliness.

says the one whose going through a hard time.

What do I do? Should I just give up and accept that I was born to live in misery?

you can, but even you know that isnt the way to go about it.

If Allah swt is Forgiving, why after years of asking for forgiveness am I still suffering this much?

welcome to life...

Why do people say "Allah doesn't burden a soul more than it can bear"? When I feel i could collapse and die any minute from this pain that has built up over the years and has got too much for me to handle?

i reckon if you train yourself and tell yourself that its okay to go through these trials, etc eventually a tranquility overcomes you that when every time you face difficulty you know its from allah and you accept it becuase you know that you cant do anything about it expect for having patience...try it. i have, and the feeling is priceless! it really puts things into perspective!

 

[- IqRa -]

Breathe in

Breathe out

Repeat

Read this: http://www.islamicboard.com/general/134283384-he-does-respond-them-wallahi.html

and this: http://www.islamicboard.com/general/134283779-why-our-du-go-unanswered.html

 

[AnonymousPoster]

You are going through a phase; everyone does at some point.

Take up a hobby like kick boxing or something - you're angry and you need to find an outlet.

If that doesn't work; find a purpose to live; whether it be to grow plants or make people smile. Big or small - it will make a difference to you.

You think I'm going through a phase? Going through a 'phase' for 15 years?

 

[AnonymousPoster]

no you dont get ignored, your dua isnt always answered in the way you want.



nope, thats called giving into satan. what you could try, is putting every effort into ignoring these thoughts...tbh, you sound like the type that gives up easily. if so, the best way to overcome this, is just to train your self to be patient (as daunting as it maybe) in all honesty there is no other solution becuase if you loose patience, then it'll just add to your frustration and irritation. really, it works zilch...


what you should do, is realise that life is a test and patience is a virtue. what i have realized is that the more someone waits to get better, the more they get frustrated when it doesn't simply becuase they expect to have thier needs and wants fulfilled in a certain time frame. this isn't the proper attitude to have, rather take each days as it comes...take each test and bare it with patience as it is thrown at you and NEVER give up hope---> it KILLS the soul...


says the hopeless one...im sorry but thats how you seem.


and you dont either...but hey if you want to give up go right ahead, whose to stop ya eh?


says the one whose going through a hard time.


you can, but even you know that isnt the way to go about it.


welcome to life...


have you ever considered that maybe you
i reckon if you train yourself and tell yourself that its okay to go through these trials, etc eventually a tranquility overcomes you that when every time you face difficulty you know its from allah and you accept it becuase you know that you cant do anything about it expect for having patience...try it. i have, and the feeling is priceless! it really puts things into perspective!

Thank you sister. Good for you that the feeling is 'priceless'.

Unfortunately, not all of us lucky enough to get even a second's peace.

 

[- IqRa -]

Also, what have you, yourself actually done that Allah takes away your pain? Do you listen to what He asks you to do? Do you try and keep away from sins? Do you pray 5 times a day? Do you abstain from haraam food, haraam relationships, etc?

Allah is not Unjust, no matter what you may think or what you may feel.

"Any disaster that strikes you is through what your own hands have earned, and He pardons much."
[Qur'an, 42:30]

No offence, but don't blame your Lord when you don't listen to Him.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Reading your post, I can tell you're not after advice. You're ranting because you're angry at Allah since you feel that Allah is being unjust to you. All the same, I say the following in the hope that it helps somewhat, InshaAllah. Just keep an open mind.

What is yaqeen? It means believing and submitting to the will of Allah.

If Allah wills that you be put in jail for the rest of your life, is that it? You'd stop believing and worshipping in Allah? You'd be angry at Allah for giving you all that hardship for the rest of your life? That is not how it's supposed to be. If you have yaqeen in Allah, then you should be content with what he decrees for you. If you're put in jail, you don't cry unfair unfair for the rest of your life. You accept, be content with the hand Allah has dealt to test YOU specifically and deal with it. Do you think you're here to have things your way in life?

This world in comparision to the hearafter is only a day or part of a day. So it makes little sense in chasing after it or being captivated by the "happiness" it offers. A true believer's happiness should be in the worship of Allah.

You mention that it's not guaranteed that Allah grants you heaven, but that depends on your yearning for and how much you work for it!

As a muslim, your purpose in life seems a bit tainted. Your purpose in this world is to worship Allah to the best of your abilities. That doesn't just mean you read salah, fast and all the outward stuff. You have to have firm belief alongside all that. You need to have firm trust in Allah that whatever comes your way is for your benefit, in this world and the next. Till you think like that, hardship and troubles will always affect you and any good thing that befalls you, will probably distract you away from deen.

I guarantee you that if you pray and make dua with full sincerity, then you will have a closer relationship with Allah and by extension, you'll be content with what he decrees for you. Notice that I'm not saying he'll give you all the happiness in the world and accept all your duas -> I'm saying contentment. That is a mighty gift in comparison to some worldy gain.

Concentrate your efforts into becoming a mountain of yaqeen, such that no amount of wind (hardship) can move you side to side.

Allah is what you think of him, if you believe he won't help you, then that is exactly what will happen. You NEED to have optimism and faith when asking of him. If you continue down this path of "Allah's good to everyone else but me" then you'll grow in misguidance and your life will only get worse. You'll remain a bitter and lost person. Get out of that darkness.

One of Allah's name is Al Adl - the Most Just and he is also the Most Wise. Submit to this understanding.

I am in no way trying to belittle your hardship, I know it must be extremely hard having to live in constant troubles. But if the hardship is there and there's nothing physical you can do to eliminate it and if things don't seem to change, then what else, as a muslim, is there left for you but to submit to what Allah has given you? See, even if something does go your way, you'll be living in constant fear as to whether something bad will happen to make it go wrong. That's why I say, change your thinking into being content with everything, good and bad. Don't let things phase you.

I don't believe the amount of forgiveness is related to the suffering you're subjected to. You could be the best muslim in the world, yet Allah will still make you suffer in order to test you. Look at Yusuf Alaihe salam - a prophet - he was taken as a salve, jailed for several years. There's plenty more examples.

Thank you for putting the effort into replying and for being firm with me. I'm just so weak, and I can't help the anger inside me. I try saying duas to get rid of this burning and these frustrating thoughts, which I know are from the Shaytan, but it doesn't work. Believe me when I say I do it with sincerety and it doesn't work. :exhausted

People think i have done nothing to help myself over the years. I've been to doctors, knowledgable people, been on anti-depressants, been counsilling, group therapy, one to one therapy, been to phsycologists, prayed, read Qur'an continuously, woke up many times for tahajjud in the last third of the night, cried, begged , pleaded with Allah to help....... all this effort has come to nothing, zero, zilch.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Thank you sister. Good for you that the feeling is 'priceless'.

Unfortunately, not all of us lucky enough to get even a second's peace.

life is what you make it, even in hardship. you want have a whinge over your problems go right ahead just dont go blaming others when nothing goes your way due to your lack of enthusiam to try to make things better for yourself. if you want others to help you, you have to be willing to help yourself first<---sincere nasheeha...
EDIT: just read your previous post..sis you just have to be paitent no matter what. really is there anything left to do :thumbs_up

 

[AnonymousPoster]

life is what you make it, even in hardship. you want have a whinge over your problems go right ahead just dont go blaming others when nothing goes your way due to your lack of enthusiam to try to make things better for yourself. if you want others to help you, you have to be willing to help yourself first.

Sister, read post 9.

 

[Ali_008]

Brother, your problem seems to have become Psychological more than Spiritual. You are near to giving in to Satan and becoming a complete pessimist. Come On, wake up, Haven't you heard the phrase "God helps those who help themselves". You talk about giving up Salaah, you know what, if you think thats the answer then you better change the question.

What will happen if you give up your faith and gets mixed with worldly desires?? The answer is more and more and more and more and more grief and anxiety.

You gotta beat Satan, man or else you'll never be happy. When you stand up for prayer, recite the surahs in a particular tone and raise your voice a little. This way your concentration will be totally on the apt recitation. Just think about the moment when you deviated from the righteous path and fell into Satan's trap and think about the time of eemaan and tranquility you had before that moment.

Firstly, behave properly with your friends and family and keep the thought in mind that the littlest of your deeds will get rewarded and so greet everyone with a smile and when anyone asks anything from you give it to them. Tell them by your actions that they matter to you and then you'll matter to them. Just rise up. Quit thinking about all the bad stuff. You seem to be too much busy just looking at the dark side of you so stop thinking about yourself and think about what your near and dear are doing and if there's anyway you could help them. You have become your own problem so instead of giving up faith, give up this "bad&dark you" in you. The more you think about the grievous past, the more its gonna hurt. Allah loves you and hates to see you this way. Your duas might not have been answered but look at the bright side. There must have been at least thing/person who you came across because of your unanswered dua that brought a smile on your face. Rise above yourself, watch videos of babies laughing on youtube. Spend time in amusement parks and admire God's creation. Watch Dawah lectures like those of Dr. Zakir Naik so that you know that what you're following is the right course. No matter how much you're pulled down by yourself that your dua won't get answered, make more and more dua. Make short-term duas rather than long-term duas like if there's some competition on Sunday then pray to Allah to give you taufeeq to work hard for it and bless you with Victory in that.

May Allah lighten your burden and bless you with Peace

 

[Tony]

Salam aleiykum op, I am not going to try help you because I cannot but I am so sorry you feel this way, who knows why, and at the end we are not on this world for so very long. I hope you can at least have patience with Allahs plan for you, this is the important thing. Maybe you can channel your pain into reaching out to others who are in desperate need of someone to just understand them. May Allah make it easier for you,Ameen

 

[جوري]

are you problems worst than being homeless, not knowing where your next meal is coming from, not having an address to apply somewhere for a job or school, having both your parents spend their welfare check on drugs, and then have them both die of AIDS while you are a young girl?

http://www.islamicboard.com/general...ss-girl-into-harvard-so-what-your-excuse.html


yeah.. some people came from that sort of background and still managed to get the highest position in life possible...

Allah isn't doing it to you, you are doing it you!.. All that is good is from him.. all that is evil is from us.. perhaps you should evaluate why it is that your life sucks so much more worse than everyone else's or why you think you deserve better than folks who have lost their family and can't afford to put food in their belly through no fault of their own!

are you one of these kids?-- with internet access Masha'Allah...

perhaps you should whine less and think of those far less fortunate than you, many who have actually beaten the odds, in spite of severe handicaps!

 

[greenshirt]

asalaamu alaikum

well anonymousgender, is appears to me that you are obviously depressed. i think instead of ranting about how allah(swt) doesnt answer your prayers and all, you need to find out WHY you are depressed. you never really explained why you are so unhappy, like what is causing this.

i think you need to find someone to consult in, be it your imam or a therapist. you need to find out the roots to your depression and solutions to it.

and allah(swt) answers EVERY prayer. however it might not always be how you want it to, but know that there are reasons behind it.

i see that you also quote the quran and then make comments like "for most, but not me"

"Verily after hardship comes relief" YES that is correct for most EXCEPT ME!

"No soul is burdened with more than it can bare" YES for most EXCEPT ME!!!!!

excuse me, but if you are going to say that you are an exception, then don't call yourself a muslim. if you don't believe what allah(swt) says in the quraan, then how can you say you're a muslim? how can you expect allah(swt) to really help you if you are not even going to open your heart? nay, in fact you SLANDER what allah(swt) says, and i pray you seek repentance for such a grave thing.

anywho... dont give up. like i said you need to find out WHY you are depressed. the reasons why you are so upset. the conflicts you have in your life. and you need to talk to someone about it. i am not suggesting you come here on this forum and tell us all the issues in your life. if you dont want the whole world to know your business, then you dont have to tell us. but, you need to find someone who you can, and who can help you. and then once you are happier, you will see that allah(swt) does answer your prayers and does help you!

 

[ahmed_indian]

prophet (peace be upon him) and sahaba (ra) suffered for 13 yrs in Makkah but they did not get angry with Allah.

of course we are not like them but our test is also not like them.

 

[fadil]

Really, Allaah does not help you!!!!!!!!
so who do u think gave u the idea to post ur problem here?
did it just click ur mind all of a sudden?
come on, dont joke
i'm sure u know without doubt that Allaah is helping you in each of ur step, but u r afraid to admit it, u think that u r different from others, that u alone have suffered so much pain, if that's truly the case, so what? what problem do you have if Allaah wants it as such?
u r talking about 15 years of misery, but u have forgotten the prophet Noah (peace be upon him), he preached for 950 years, inviting people to the Oneness of Allaah, yet little believed him, how must he have felt for all these years, when his own son did not believe him?
what is 15 years in the sight of Allaah? what is your 15 years compared to 950 years?
i need not tell this, u already know that the solution lies only with Allaah, perhaps u're tired of asking for help from Allaah, and you are saying things which should not even be uttered...by urself u would not have said these words, "verily, Satan, to human beings, is a manifest enemy"
a thief will never steal from a tree having no fruit, he will always steal from the one having fruits
Satan is the thief and the fruit is your faith
its because you believe in Allaah thats y satan is playing tricks with you, he wants you as his prey, so that u accompany him in hellfire, where undoubtedly, he will remain 4ever, "how wretched is it as a destination"
lets see how courageous you are, you have struggled for the past 15 years only for the sake of Allaah, you defied your greatest enemy all these time just for the pleasure of Allaah so that he make hellfire haram for u and grant u jannat al firdous insha Allaah, will u now give in or will u continue fighting?

2 things are very essential in life
1. gratitude
2. patience

learn to live with these things, insha Allaah it will prove beneficial to you

moreover, whenever u have a problem, do not look for solution, rather look for ways to tackle the problem, eventually u will get the solution and if you dont obtain, its no problem, you will be rewarded for the efforts you put in

grasp your courage, hold firm your faith and continue your battle against Satan, Allaah willing you will be successful

remain in the protection of Allaah

 

[fadil]

forget to mention

"Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not come you as came to those who passed on before you? They were ticuhed by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said, "When is the help of Allaah?" Unquestionably, the help of Allaah is near."
{Surah 2, Al-Baqarah, verse 214}

 

[Abdul Fattah]

Selam aleykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu.
May Allah subhana wa ta'ala make things easy for you, strenghthen your imaan and lead you to jannah.

Like some other people have already mentioned, you are not alone in this, other muslims go trough periods like this to. Just remember:

Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, "We believe", and that they will not be tested? (29:02)

It could be that Allah subhana wa ta'ala still loves you to a great extend but is merely testing you with hardship so that he can later increase the reward you'll receive inshaAllah.

I've been depressed for so long now (years yes YEARS) that I have completely lost faith in Allah. I used to pray so much with a sincere heart and with true and painful tears, pouring my heart out to Allah. I still feel the need to pray, but having the sincerety and even trying to believe that eventually my duas will be answered and I will get better is an impossibilty.
It's probably not worth me praying if I haven't got the sincerity in my heart right? Should I just give up altogether and accept that this is my life and I will NEVER get better?

Why would it be impossible? Nothing is impossible for Allah subhana wa ta'ala. Also remember:
Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (39:53).

Nowadays when I get on the prayer mat, I have crazy thoughts in my head like, “oh here we go, I have to force myself to pray even though my life is in tatters. This is a joke, Allah won’t listen to me, He never has in the past decade why would He listen now” I do end up finishing my prayer but very grudgingly and angrily. I can’t do it with a sincere heart anymore. When I did I was still ignored.

I've been trough periods like this to. All I can say is be patient and persist in doing good.

Please don't tell me things will change and I have to believe they will and all that crap because my kismet is already written, I can't do anything, that's right NOT even make dua because it will never be accepted.

This idea is wrong! It comes from the shaytaan. Kismet is written, but that doesn't mean that dua is powerless to make any change or that we can't take control of our lives! Allah subhana wa ta'ala knows everything, even the things that will happen in the future. So when destiny was written down, he already knew the dua that you would make in the future, and took them into account when writing destiny. So never dispair in the usefulness of dua!

Please don't tell me I will live a happier life in the hereafter, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE ONLY ALLAH SWT KNOWS!!!

Of course we never know for sure, what we do know though, is that if you do not commit shirk, and repent for the sins you make, and keep the 5 daily prayers, and fast and so on. Basically keep following the rules despite being miserable, depressed. The nsurely your reward will be greater then those who do the same as you, but for whom it is made easy.

After years and years of trying to make my life better, it collapses on top of me again and again. I pray and I pray and yes I shouldn't be complaining like this but how else am I supposed to let this anger and these frustrations out to release the tension?

another way to let the frustration out is to cry. I mean, really it's al right, you have the right to cry. And it certainly sounds you have the background for it. This is really the best way to get it out. And you said you did this in the past, so you already know how. All you have to do in order to get back is realise that it's still the same "you". And that Allah subhana wa ta'ala leaves the doors for forgiveness open, no matter what you've done or happened.

No one else listens, my family don't care, my friends are sick of me and my depression and my mood swings, they don’t even care anymore.

SubhanaAllah, may Allah bring people in your life who do care, and who understand this kind of hardship you are going trough and are patient with you.

I wake up every morning feeling painfully lonely, empty, like I'm already dead just walking around in a body, nothing to look forward too, no true friends, no family who actually care.

Get married as soon as possible. Really, this is a very important part of life.

I drive around in my car and I just cry while i'm driving, I used to play the Qur'an CD, but not even that makes me feel better. Even after praying, I feel lifeless and empty. Why should anyone care how I feel? Afterall, I'm just another 'nobody' walking around on this earth waiting to drop dead with this torturous pain and loneliness.

Of course people care, I mean I'm crying just from reading this. I can't stress this enough, but never dispair in Allah subhana wa ta'ala. May allah subhana wa ta'ala make it easy for you.

I say Istighfar all the time but I can't say it like I mean it, I can't recite the Qur'an like I mean it anymore, I can't read any dua like I mean it anymore, I feel treacherously hopeless. All these words can't describe the pain and suffering I'm going through.

Don't worry we understand what you mean, Like I said, many people go trough this, I just had a rough year like this. Just be patient inshaAllah.

What do I do? Should I just give up and accept that I was born to live in misery? If Allah swt is Forgiving, why after years of asking for forgiveness am I still suffering this much?

Allah subhana wa ta'ala knows best.
Maybe because he wants to increase your reward, maybe because he's waiting for the right time, maybe it is in order to steer away an even greater hardship that would otherwise befall you. There could be thousands of different reasons. But if you read the quranic verses I quoted, then you should know that this doesn't mean that you are a "lost case".

Why do people say "Allah doesn't burden a soul more than it can bear"? When I feel i could collapse and die any minute from this pain that has built up over the years and has got too much for me to handle?

Well you have been bearing this burden right? Doesn't that mean that you can bear it? People can generally bear allot more than they think they can. I mean, really look at yourself! Years of depression and sadness and loneliness, and you're still keeping prayers! So many others would have already given up way ealier. But you haven't, because you can bear this test, and Allah subhana wa ta'ala knows you better then you know yourself. May Allah subhana wa ta'ala make it easy for you.

Do I really have to accept the fact that i will NEVER see the light at the end of the tunnel? "Verily after hardship comes relief" YES that is correct for most EXCEPT ME!
"No soul is burdened with more than it can bare" YES for most EXCEPT ME!!!!! None of these matter to all of you, you are just reading, you can't feel what i feel.

You'd be surprised ^_^

These words are nothing. I'm nothing, this world is nothing!!! My pain doesn't mean anything to anybody. I see happy people, I get so angry and upset! DON'T TELL ME THEY MIGHT BE UNHAPPY BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!!!! AT LEAST THEY CAN MANAGE A SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I smile because otherwise people would ask what's wrong and then I would have to explain and they wouldn't understand and I would become even more sad. And yes, at least I can manage that, but the smile cuts trough my heart like a knife.

One day people will be sad and the next day they find relief. Allah swt eases their pain after a short while. But my pain doesn't matter, it carries on and on and it doesn't stop hurting. This is not a TEST IT'S NEVERENDING TORTURE!!!!!
Are you all happy? haha, did you all find 'relief after hardship' hahahaaaaaa GOOD FOR U!!!!!!!

I know, it's not your fault, really it's not your fault. It's ok. May Alalh subhana wa ta'ala make it easy for you.

Are any of you going through hardship right now this very minute????? What is your hardship? It's probably so minor and pathetic you call it HARDSHIP LOL!!!!!!

It's not a competition. Hardship is hardship. There might be people who have it less bad, but even they are entitled to being sad because of it, and seeking help because of it. Likewise there will be people who have it worse then you do (think of people in warzones being tortured and raped, people dying of hunger, and so on...). And just because these people have a worse hardship then you do, does not mean that you are not entitled to be sad, or seek help.

Don't worry about me, I'm just another excuse for a human being!!!!! MY FEELINGS DON'T COUNT!!!!!! Me, my life, my feelings, my thoughts, me just being on this earth, itcounts for NOTHING!!

May Allah subhana wa ta'ala make things easy for you.

SORRY IF I'VE OFFENDED ANYONE I DON'T MEAN TO, YOUR PROBLEMS MUST BE REAL BAD!!!!!

It's ok, I understand, it's not your fault, be patient inshaAllah.

What are you going to tell me next? That I have a roof over my head, I have bread to eat and clothes to wear?????? WHAT IS THE POINT WHEN I'M LIVING IN MISERY!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL IN YOUR SHORT LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't believe in luck, but I wish for the best for you to. And may Allah subhana wa ta'ala make it easy for you.

 

[Ansariyah]

Al-Ghazali said,
"If you see Allah, Mighty and Magnificent, holding back this world from you, frequently trying you with adversity and tribulation, know that you hold a great status with Him. Know that He is dealing with you as He does with His Awliya' and chosen elite, and is watching over you, have you not heard His saying,
"So wait steadfastly for the judgment of your Lord - you are certainly before Our eyes.
{At-Tur 52:48}​

 

[mylifesucks]

I've been depressed for so long now (years yes YEARS) that I have completely lost faith in Allah. I used to pray so much with a sincere heart and with true and painful tears, pouring my heart out to Allah. I still feel the need to pray, but having the sincerety and even trying to believe that eventually my duas will be answered and I will get better is an impossibilty.

Nowadays when I get on the prayer mat, I have crazy thoughts in my head like, “oh here we go, I have to force myself to pray even though my life is in tatters. This is a joke, Allah won’t listen to me, He never has in the past decade why would He listen now” I do end up finishing my prayer but very grudgingly and angrily. I can’t do it with a sincere heart anymore. When I did I was still ignored.

It's probably not worth me praying if I haven't got the sincerity in my heart right? Should I just give up altogether and accept that this is my life and I will NEVER get better?

Please don't tell me things will change and I have to believe they will and all that crap because my kismet is already written, I can't do anything, that's right NOT even make dua because it will never be accepted.

Please don't tell me I will live a happier life in the hereafter, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE ONLY ALLAH SWT KNOWS!!!

After years and years of trying to make my life better, it collapses on top of me again and again. I pray and I pray and yes I shouldn't be complaining like this but how else am I supposed to let this anger and these frustrations out to release the tension?

No one else listens, my family don't care, my friends are sick of me and my depression and my mood swings, they don’t even care anymore.

I wake up every morning feeling painfully lonely, empty, like I'm already dead just walking around in a body, nothing to look forward too, no true friends, no family who actually care. I drive around in my car and I just cry while i'm driving, I used to play the Qur'an CD, but not even that makes me feel better. Even after praying, I feel lifeless and empty.

Why should anyone care how I feel? Afterall, I'm just another 'nobody' walking around on this earth waiting to drop dead with this torturous pain and loneliness.

I say Istighfar all the time but I can't say it like I mean it, I can't recite the Qur'an like I mean it anymore, I can't read any dua like I mean it anymore, I feel treacherously hopeless. All these words can't describe the pain and suffering I'm going through.

What do I do? Should I just give up and accept that I was born to live in misery? If Allah swt is Forgiving, why after years of asking for forgiveness am I still suffering this much? Why do people say "Allah doesn't burden a soul more than it can bear"? When I feel i could collapse and die any minute from this pain that has built up over the years and has got too much for me to handle?

Do I really have to accept the fact that i will NEVER see the light at the end of the tunnel?

"Verily after hardship comes relief" YES that is correct for most EXCEPT ME!

"No soul is burdened with more than it can bare" YES for most EXCEPT ME!!!!!

None of these matter to all of you, you are just reading, you can't feel what i feel.

These words are nothing. I'm nothing, this world is nothing!!! My pain doesn't mean anything to anybody.

I see happy people, I get so angry and upset!


DON'T TELL ME THEY MIGHT BE UNHAPPY BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!!!! AT LEAST THEY CAN MANAGE A SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!


One day people will be sad and the next day they find relief. Allah swt eases their pain after a short while.

But my pain doesn't matter, it carries on and on and it doesn't stop hurting. This is not a TEST IT'S NEVERENDING TORTURE!!!!!

Are you all happy? haha, did you all find 'relief after hardship' hahahaaaaaa GOOD FOR U!!!!!!!

Are any of you going through hardship right now this very minute????? What is your hardship? It's probably so minor and pathetic you call it HARDSHIP LOL!!!!!!

Don't worry about me, I'm just another excuse for a human being!!!!! MY FEELINGS DON'T COUNT!!!!!! Me, my life, my feelings, my thoughts, me just being on this earth, itcounts for NOTHING!!

SORRY IF I'VE OFFENDED ANYONE I DON'T MEAN TO, YOUR PROBLEMS MUST BE REAL BAD!!!!!

What are you going to tell me next? That I have a roof over my head, I have bread to eat and clothes to wear?????? WHAT IS THE POINT WHEN I'M LIVING IN MISERY!!!!!!!


GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL IN YOUR SHORT LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

can you tell me now is your better or you have the same remarks
because like you i am going through the same emotions and sentiments like you
plz tell me
desperately want to know