what should i do

[anonymous]

I am not judging you at all, I am giving you a taste of how your brother would feel subsequent to you going to your mother.
I think ample advise was given you to speak to your brother before ratting him out.. what do you call going to your mother about what he has done which you out of your own admittance acquired through unlawful means? discipline?

Going to your mother is going public with it a sin between one is bad enough, between two, is horrible, between three is public knowledge.

indeed, maybe I am horrible, maybe you are who knows? I do hope thatAllah swt would make your brother a better sibling to you than you are to him at the moment!

all the best

hav i done it? have i told him? you know what, atm ive got a lot to think about and deal with. and i rather you just didnt bother posting. if saying that i am worse than my brother is not judging, what is exactly in your books? i really dont appreaciate some of your remarks, and the last thing i want right now is to get vex to a point where i do give people like you stories to make up how i am wurse than him blah blah through the language i use.. so lets leave it at that. i hope allah give you guideance and maybe a few manners aswell..

 

[anonymous]

Perhaps there is indeed another side of the story? How do you know that your version of the event is the true version of events?
you should tell him, I know something awful about you, and it hurts me, that my own sibling would commit such an egregious sin.. I thought I'd talk to you about it first before going to mother perhaps you can mend your ways and find your path back to Allah..
perhaps this would be the turning point in your relationship?
I don't think you telling anyone else would fix anything at all.. might actually ruin his relationship with your mother... what an awful thing that would be!

i saw it written with my own eyes. what other story can there be?

 

[anonymous]

It is difficult to advise you on whether to tell your mother or speak to your brother or keep it quiet, as we do not know your situation and are fearful of making it worse...

sis. i dont knwo what to do. and its proper broken me, cant imagine how my mum would be. i dont know where i can go. who i can turn to. cause eveyone will either judge me rather than help me get the advise i want. if i was so evil, i would of exposed him ages ago. its beating me up.

 

[جوري]

I didn't say you are worst than your brother, I said ratting him out wouldn't make you any better.. including your use of vulgar language like WTF .. it is a public forum, you are free to take it or leave it...

My remarks are a direct response of what you have posted here, if you want private time to think about it, then don't post it all together or ask a mod to close your thread--

all the best

 

[Banu_Hashim]

It sounds like a difficult situation. I would give it time. It is up to your judgement as to whether you think he is capable of seeking forgiveness and changing his ways. You can make du'a for him. Then, at a certain point you have to leave the rest of Allah (swt). May Allah make this situation easy for you, your brother and your family, inshaAllah.

 

[جوري]

i saw it written with my own eyes. what other story can there be?

There is always two or more sides to every story-- the more variables you add the more complex!

stealing? perhaps someone forced him to do it
fornicating- perhaps he was being raped
beating up- perhaps it is self defense
cheating- perhaps it was an eye twitch
lying- perhaps it was the truth
drugs- perhaps it was donuts powder

 

[anonymous]

also your use of 'WTF' doesn't make you any better.. I can see you are not much better than you allege your brother with such manners...

what do you call that? tbh, i dont even know why your personal attacks offend me so much, maybe because i just feel proper week, maybe its tha emtions. whu knows. buh i proper request you dont reply sister please. all tha best for you also
i NEED advise, that link doesnt wurk...?

 

[roohani.doctor]

Telling your mum isn't gonna solve anything. Your mum will probably get really angry and her attitude might affect her relationship with her son i.e. your brother. Your mum will never look at him the same away and that in the long run will affect everything (his actions etc). He looks up to your mum more than he does to you, so why ruin that relationship?

The best (and only) response would be to TRY to get over your 'hatred' and try to talk to him and let him know what he is doing is wrong. Its up to him if he wants to change his ways or not.

Like someone said, if his actions/sins are not affecting anyone but him, there is not much you can, or you should do at this point. You can pray for him.

Insha'allah may Allah guide him to the straight path. Ameen.

 

[جوري]

what do you call that? tbh, i dont even know why your personal attacks offend me so much, maybe because i just feel proper week, maybe its tha emtions. whu knows. buh i proper request you dont reply sister please. all tha best for you also
i NEED advise, that link doesnt wurk...?

indeed.. 'not much better' doesn't translate to worse?

I have said all I needed to anyway.. I hope you'll heed the collective advise given you here if mine is too sharp for your palate!

 

[glo]

Agreed. Allah doesn't like the sins of Muslims to be exposed.

We have had this issue not so long ago.
I simply don't get this ... it is Islamically acceptable, even desirable, to hide/cover the sin of another Muslim? :?

What about the wrong that has been committed? The people who have potentially been hurt? The damage that has potentially been done?
(I am speaking in general terms, because of course I don't know what type of wrong the OP is talking about)

Would it be wrong to report a known Muslim criminal to the police? :?


(Forgive me, anon, I shouldn't take your quest for advice off topic. Perhaps I will start a thread in a better forum section.

I cannot give you Islamic advice, so please bear that in mind.
I think how you found out your information is not the important issue.
If i was you I would consider how serious the sin was your brother committed, whether anybody got hurt or any damage was done.
Is he repentant or will he do it again?
Can you find a gentle way to discuss this with your mother? Or would another member of your family be better?
Most importantly, have you spoken to your brother about this?

You are in a tough situation! I hope you find the best way forward. Pray for guidance and don't act rashly.)

 

[piXie]

sis. i dont knwo what to do. and its proper broken me, cant imagine how my mum would be. i dont know where i can go. who i can turn to. cause eveyone will either judge me rather than help me get the advise i want. if i was so evil, i would of exposed him ages ago. its beating me up.

Do you know of any sheikh or someone of knowledge whom you can call and consult them for advice?

 

[جوري]

We have had this issue not so long ago.
I simply don't get this ... it is Islamically acceptable, even desirable, to hide/cover the sin of another Muslim? :?

What about the wrong that has been committed? The people who have potentially been hurt? The damage that has potentially been done?
(I am speaking in general terms, because of course I don't know what type of wrong the OP is talking about)

Would it be wrong to report a known Muslim criminal to the police? :?


(Forgive me, anon, I shouldn't take your quest for advice off topic. Perhaps I will start a thread in a better forum section.

I cannot give you Islamic advice, so please bear that in mind.
I think how you found out your information is not the important issue.
If i was you I would consider how serious the sin was your brother committed, whether anybody got hurt or any damage was done.
Is he repentant or will he do it again?
Can you find a gentle way to discuss this with your mother? Or would another member of your family be better?
Most importantly, have you spoken to your brother about this?

You are in a tough situation! I hope you find the best way forward. Pray for guidance and don't act rashly.)

this isn't a police matter, it a matter between siblings. Also even in the west a judge decrees what evidence is permissible in court and what isn't -- taping someone for instance even if it implicates them in a crime first hand can be thrown out of court for the UNLAWFUL means in which it was obtained. Also in the U.S Everyone has the right NOT TO INCRIMINATE themselves. and to plead the fifth.
I hope you can put things of jurisprudence in perspective to that of a family affair, or indeed start a separate thread on the matter..
if your son stole from your wallet would you turn him over to the police? theft is indeed a police matter...
try to use your best judgment when it comes to questions of common sense..

all the best

 

[piXie]

We have had this issue not so long ago.
I simply don't get this ... it is Islamically acceptable, even desirable, to hide/cover the sin of another Muslim? :?

Glo, it depends on the situation. Even between siblings, it depends on the situation. That is why it is very difficult to say anything when we do not know the situation.

 

[anonymous]

Glo I really do appreciate your response esp as your not of my faith. and i do appreciate the majority of replies and advise. I think its something i have to sort out myself but jazakallah for all the help. i gues some things are better left quiet. and i guess if its guna be exposed it will in its own time :~)

 

[Banu_Hashim]

We have had this issue not so long ago.
I simply don't get this ... it is Islamically acceptable, even desirable, to hide/cover the sin of another Muslim? :?

What about the wrong that has been committed? The people who have potentially been hurt? The damage that has potentially been done?
(I am speaking in general terms, because of course I don't know what type of wrong the OP is talking about)

Would it be wrong to report a known Muslim criminal to the police? :?

As said, it depends on the situation. Generally, within a Muslim community if you come about somehow to know of a Muslim brother or sister doing something perhaps they should not be doing, drinking alcohol etc. then it is best not to make this sin public, and that includes back biting to others in private circles.

 

[glo]

Thank you for your clarifications with regards to my question on hiding/covering another Muslim's sin. (Thank you also to brother alcurad)

I guess I read Banu Hashim's statement that "Allah doesn't like the sins of Muslims to be exposed" and took it to it's most extreme meaning.
I feel reassured now.

Again, thank you.

 

[mathematician]

Ok let me spell it out for you. Using the words "wtf" is immature when
you are seeking advice on an islamic discussion forum. So get yourself some proper manners.
To be a good sibling you need to only say words that will increase your brother's self-esteem. You need to offer him advice or think of something that will make him a better person.
By the way, nobody here has told you this, but I will say it, why don't you concentrate on yourself? Are you that great of a person that you have that much free time focusing on what your brother is doing?
Wake up improve yourself and please stop uttering the wtf words, it's childish.

 

[anonymous]

Ok let me spell it out for you. Using the words "wtf" is immature when
you are seeking advice on an islamic discussion forum. So get yourself some proper manners.
To be a good sibling you need to only say words that will increase your brother's self-esteem. You need to offer him advice or think of something that will make him a better person.
By the way, nobody here has told you this, but I will say it, why don't you concentrate on yourself? Are you that great of a person that you have that much free time focusing on what your brother is doing?
Wake up improve yourself and please stop uttering the wtf words, it's childish.

With all due respect mathematician, if a brother comes on here seeking advice with regards to something his brother has done, it does not mean that he is not concentrating on himself and thinks himself a great person. Neither does it mean he has much free time wherein he is focusing on what his brother is doing. To a certain extent (and I am generally speaking here), an older sibling has a certain responsibility over their younger siblings. To be an example, watch over them, to help them stay on the correct path etc.

Anon292873

 

[anonymous]

Ok let me spell it out for you. Using the words "wtf" is immature when
you are seeking advice on an islamic discussion forum. So get yourself some proper manners.
To be a good sibling you need to only say words that will increase your brother's self-esteem. You need to offer him advice or think of something that will make him a better person.
By the way, nobody here has told you this, but I will say it, why don't you concentrate on yourself? Are you that great of a person that you have that much free time focusing on what your brother is doing?
Wake up improve yourself and please stop uttering the wtf words, it's childish.

Okay wiseman. Let me spell it out for you... When a human is angry, they say stuff which they most likely will tend to regret and in a state of anger they may come out with inappropriate terms like so.. Did i speak a bit patronisingly? POint proven much? you wouldnt like someone speaking to you like that so speak to me like that. One day on and I accept that wasnt appropriate for an Islamic forum. Instead of chuking personal abuse at people SEEKING advise, why dont you just fix up yourself and learn how to speak to people. Surley islam teaches patiencee and tolerance with people does it not?

Did I say I am that much of a rgeat person, what is wrong with you? Do you know the full story to be saying I have much too much time blah blah? No I think not, as I said, my story was complicated, I was trying to be honest by saying I didnt come accross it totally innocently, because I didnt. But again, people like you just like to jump tha bandwagon before learning to walk [thats thaquote right? :s Ha]
So just for the record Mathemetician, I am not trying to be vindictive by telling my mum, I was looking out for him & have been doing so for a VERY long time BUT he as crossed the limit. But people like you dont want to see it from others perspective...that'd probably be asking for too much, just read something and get on a hype about it...

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

hav i done it? have i told him? you know what, atm ive got a lot to think about and deal with. and i rather you just didnt bother posting. if saying that i am worse than my brother is not judging, what is exactly in your books? i really dont appreaciate some of your remarks, and the last thing i want right now is to get vex to a point where i do give people like you stories to make up how i am wurse than him blah blah through the language i use.. so lets leave it at that. i hope allah give you guideance and maybe a few manners aswell..

^omg what is your problem with people...

well go on then, have a go at me as well!