how to refute this?

[Ummu Sufyaan]

i don't know really where this goes, but im wondering how would you refute someone who says that gheerah (protective jealously) of a man, is his problem and as a result his wife/sister/mother shouldn't have her hijaab and all, because to them its his problem that he gets jealous and therefore she shouldn't have to "suffer" *whatever that means* for his hang up?

as a muslim, i find it admirable that he feels jealous, but im trying to get this through to people who, well dont find it admirable, so i need some help...

 

[Muhaba]

We don't really wear hijab because of some man's gheerah. Hijab is in our nature just as it is in a man's nature to feel protective of his female relatives. I believe this is one reason why women convert to Islam, because it is the religion of our nature and hijab is perfectly according to our nature. so when women convert and start wearing hijab, they don't feel a conflict between their nature and their actions. It is also in a woman's nature to want a man to have gheerah (protective jealousy). this is why lots of women in the west, when they feel unloved, try to make their husbands/bfs jealous. If a man doesn't get jealous then that would mean he doesn't love her.

just my thoughts on this.

you should clarify to the person that women wearing hijab are not suffering.

 

[Al-Zaara]

as a muslim, i find it admirable that he feels jealous, but im trying to get this through to people who, well dont find it admirable, so i need some help...

Jealousy is, like many other things, quite relative. And we can ask ourselves, how can we know it's protective jealousy if we're not experiencing it first-hand?

I can't find it to be a good act per se if the man is very jealous of his wife and forces her to wear hijab and this lady herself does not want to wear it! At first glance, from Islamic perspective, it's good she's wearing it because it is very important but if his action and her not wanting to wear it, make her hate the hijab and therefor have hateful feelings about other aspects in the religion and commandments then I find it goes very much to waste. She might even begin to dislike the man. You get my drift?

Like MANY things (Islamic, non-Islamic), there are those who 'suffer' for wearing it, we can't be all to generalizing that all love it. For some it's a culture and they are not taught more depth about WHY it is meant to be worn, they just do and so maybe not get in touch with it's meaning. Some, like in the example situation I gave, might have first-hand been forced because of first-hand feelings like jealousy (the man himself might have been rather ignorant)... You know.

But really, if she/he would take and say everyone suffers, that's ridicilous. And you know, hijab is probably one of the least problems one can have if the man is very very protective and can go any means to satisfy his jealous...

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Jealousy is, like many other things, quite relative. And we can ask ourselves, how can we know it's protective jealousy if we're not experiencing it first-hand?

mind our own business

I can't find it to be a good act per se if the man is very jealous of his wife and forces her to wear hijab and this lady herself does not want to wear it!

can you elaborate on what you mean by forces? do you mean, for example like he may put it in their marriage contract, the methods he may advise her or :?

At first glance, from Islamic perspective, it's good she's wearing it because it is very important but if his action and her not wanting to wear it, make her hate the hijab and therefor have hateful feelings about other aspects in the religion and commandments then I find it goes very much to waste. She might even begin to dislike the man. You get my drift?

yeah...the best way to get someone to act upon good, in through kindness...especially your women-folk...

But really, if she/he would take and say everyone suffers, that's ridicilous. And you know, hijab is probably one of the least problems one can have if the man is very very protective and can go any means to satisfy his jealous...

ditto...

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

there have been some good points in this thread, so barakallahu feekum...
me, i was thinking as a refutation that you are inclined protect that something that's very dear to you and that also women have a sense of gheerah as well...

yay, or nay?

 

[Ali_008]

There are many women who don't wear hijab against their husbands' wishes and basically Hijab is for protecting a woman from the evil thoughts, desires, eyes of men and its for guarding women and not satisfying some obnoxious feelings of some men. Don't know why people take it the other way:?

 

[Al-Zaara]

mind our own business

Aleykum selam,

Exactly, that's what we should do!

can you elaborate on what you mean by forces? do you mean, for example like he may put it in their marriage contract, the methods he may advise her or :?

I actually... Thought of brutal strength mixed with psychological methods to weaken a human, to advantage the love and trust, to take advantage of situations like "I'll divorce you" and I kow that can be tough on lots of women etc.