Why's it acceptable for a man to marry a younger women but not for a women.

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Its not just the family who are uncomfortable with this type of marriage but also the sisters. Most of the sisters I know (and sisters on this forum- we had a thread about this) are uncomfortable with the idea of getting married to a younger guy. Most of the time its the wife that is being given a hard time not the guy which is why sisters are more reluctant to marry a younger guy that and the maturity issue.
 
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Ar-RaYYan said:
Its not just the family who are uncomfortable with this type of marriage but also the sisters. Most of the sisters I know (and sisters on this forum- we had a thread about this) are uncomfortable with the idea of getting married to a younger guy. Most of the time its the wife that is being given a hard time not the guy which is why sisters are more reluctant to marry a younger guy that and the maturity issue.
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That's good, they should be allowed to make their own choice whatever they feel is best for them as individuals.

The problem I have is when the community starts gossiping about the sister in a bad manner because she decided to marry a younger brother. when there's nothing wrong with it.
 
T.I.A said:
Because men are not mentally mature the same time as woman. Men's maturity somes about 3-4 years later, for it to be the same as the woman.

E.g. If the woman is 20 and the man is 24/25, he will have the maturity of a 20 year old.
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I used to believe that, but now I don't.

I think you can't make a rash generalisation of all men, some may mature later than women, others may not. I think maturation has often been confused with ''puberty''. Since women reach puberty faster than men.

I don't believe it anymore, I think it depends on who you come across. My husband is 4 years older than me, he's 23. And I can't say that he's not as mature as I am. In fact, I'd say the opposite! :hmm:

As for this topic, it's mainly a cultural thing. It has no basis in Islam, as we all obviously know that Khadeejah (ra) and Prophet Muhammad (salAllaahu alayhi wasalam) were an example of an older woman marrying a younger man.
 
Well, that stinks. I mean, I consider myself mature for my age, everyone tells me I am. I mean, attitude wise. I hope I am, at least. I prefer women that are older, cause a lot of girls my age can get to comical, and not enough serious. I don't want a super-serious girl, but not a girl that doesn't take a single thing serious.
 
Clover said:
Well, that stinks. I mean, I consider myself mature for my age, everyone tells me I am. I mean, attitude wise. I hope I am, at least. I prefer women that are older, cause a lot of girls my age can get to comical, and not enough serious. I don't want a super-serious girl, but not a girl that doesn't take a single thing serious.
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Indeed clover you are mature, but as some (not all) men get older, their maturity level gets higher, but women in my opinion get mature at a very early age.
 
T.I.A said:
Did anyone notice this...
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Asslamu Alikum.

Hahaha of course I did. :p

On the topic:

This is clearly culture and it exists in many countries. I'm not sure why in some cultures; it is not acceptable for older women to marry a younger man. Age does not matter as long as both man and women are mature and are capable of raising children. ; D
 
celina said:
Indeed clover you are mature, but as some (not all) men get older, their maturity level gets higher, but women in my opinion get mature at a very early age.
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Everyone's maturity level gets higher as they get older, even females. I don't think it's good to say either is better mature wise, but I got to admit, girls were more focused on grades in like 6-7th grade, but in 9th grade, a lot of guys got into getting good grades too.
 
there's always a fine line,or maybe we make that up. either way, it takes a lot of skill to be not so mature when need be.
 
Haven't read the entire thread and not sure what the consensus here is .. just passing my two cents..
women outlive men (it is simple statistics) so indeed it would be wise for an older woman to marry a younger man. average life expectancy for women in the U.S is 80.5 whereas for men it is 75.4.. so if you start older than your husband a good chance you won't do without each other for long :lol:

Now, I don't know about social taboos and norms.. the question is rather how many women are willing to marry younger men? Are women attracted to men younger than them? I can speak for myself when I say, I am appalled by the concept..
but people are different.. if you are into it and the other party is consenting and happy.. then I don't see a problem.. I know many women whose husbands are younger than them...

:w:
 
:sl:

Who says it is not acceptable? Did Prophet Muhammad(Peace and Blessings be upon him) not marry Khadaji(AS)? Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) was approximately 25 years old at that time and Khadaji(AS) was 50. Does that not tell you that Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) married an older women? Then ,why should we think it is unacceptable to do the same as our beloved Prophet Muhammad(Peace and Blessings be upon him) For that reason,I do not think it is not acceptable for a younger man to marry an older women. I don't think age is neccesary,in a relationship you have to attain a strong,communication bond.

For a proper marriage(regardless of the age of the two spouses) you must attain a good sense of communication,proper understanding,love,trust and faith. We need to have these qualities rather than care about the age. In conclusion,I do not think that it is unacceptable for a younger man to marry an older women,and my post explains why.
 
ramisa said:
:sl:

Who says it is not acceptable? Did prophet muhammad(peace and blessings be upon him) not marry khadaji(as)? Prophet muhammad(pbuh) was approximately 25 years old at that time and khadaji(as) was 50. Does that not tell you that prophet muhammad(pbuh) married an older women? Then ,why should we think it is unacceptable to do the same as our beloved prophet muhammad(peace and blessings be upon him) for that reason,i do not think it is not acceptable for a younger man to marry an older women. I don't think age is neccesary,in a relationship you have to attain a strong,communication bond.

For a proper marriage(regardless of the age of the two spouses) you must attain a good sense of communication,proper understanding,love,trust and faith. We need to have these qualities rather than care about the age. In conclusion,i do not think that it is unacceptable for a younger man to marry an older women,and my post explains why.
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:) +1
 
:sl:

squiggle said:
Has anbody noticed within Pakistani culture people kick up a huge fuss when an older women shows interest in a younger man but when the man's older than the women they say nothing.

Why's it acceptable cullturally for a man to marry a younger women but for a women to marry a younger man, people kick up a fuss and all the telephones start ringing and gossip flys like mad.
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Brother squiggle,

I hope the people who comment on Prophets was of Marriage have not really seen it from the Scratch.

Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) married Kathija when she was older that our Messenger.

Even if people say it was before prophethood. Still Allah has control over everything that happens in Duniya.

So Allah would have made arrangements such that our beloved Messenger (PBUH) could marry a younger woman.

Doesn't this one point prove that Allah has not restricted such marriage, Provided it has to be followed as per Hadiths and Sunnah.


:wa:
 
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Well at the end of the day if the 2 spouses are ok, then its kool. It doesnt matter who is older or not etc, rather it is about compatibility.

If you find the ideal woman to be an older girl than you, then marry her. Islam doesnt have such restrictions!

Our values come from Islam, not from our cultural. Alhamdulillah.

FiAmaaniAllah
 
there is a lot of people who think it is 'wrong' for a women to be with a younger guy...i myself use 2 think that it didnt seem right, until a good friend of mine who is 7 years younger than me told me he loved me and wanted 2 spend his life with me...at first i laughed at him saying what he felt was wrong....but when i realised what a good heart this person had and took the person for who they wer and not 4 how old they wer i 4got about the age...what matters is that the 2 people care 4 each other and want 2 do right by each other...but unfortunately i was one of those people who thought what would people say, wat would my family think and i ended up losing something that could have potentially made me so happy in life...so yes people may say its wrong but people arent the ones who are going 2 live your life 4u when u miss out on a good opportunity jus because the guy was younger than the girl...trust me this types of judgemental attitude only causes other people pain and who are we 2 giv other people pain...i think it isnt fair...yes mayb it doesnt seem right but when it happens 2 u like it happened to me u will cum 2 realise if allah had willed that younger person 2 be your life partner then who are we think of allahs decisions as wrong.

i hope no1 gets offended by what i said but i felt i had 2 comment as this was something i have personally experienced...and 2 lose my happiness because i feared what society and my loved ones would think of me well i personally think that is really unfair.(
 
As we know there is no prohibition in a younger man marrying and older women, but he must not marry an old woman as she will weaken him. The reason for this has been explained in the Medicine of the Prophet.
 
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