How does she practice patience?

[Muslimah81]

Assalamu-alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu


…..And those who are patient in adversity out of a longing for their Sustainers countenance, and are constant in prayer, and spend on others secretly and openly, out of what We provide for them as a sustenance, and who repel evil with good. It is these that shall find their fulfilment in the hereafter: gardens of perpetual bliss, which they shall enter together with the righteous from among their parents, their spouses, and their offspring; and the angels will come onto them from every gate and will say : ‘Peace be unto you because you have persevered.’
Al-Quran [Surah 13: 22-24]

She keeps reading these beautiful verses over and over again as they are such a source of comfort to her.

I have a friend who is going through a very difficult time in her life at the moment. She is very isolated both physically and psychologically………….its very hard to explain. For the moment prayer is her only solace…………..but she had a question for me which I had difficulty in answering. Perhaps someone can help me answer it?

In her words she said ‘How do I practice patience?.................In my darkest hours I sit on my prayer-mat and beg Allah to ease my burdens in life. But then my begging turns into a frenzy and I start crying. Is my crying a form of impatience? Is the fact that I am so blessed with food, clothing and roof over my head a form of ungratefulness and impatience? Is the fact that sometimes I cannot even muster a smile for someone a form of being uncharitable? ……………I have hope ….but sometimes it diminishes to such an extent I feel that I have become impatient………….What deeds of mine will qualify as deeds of patience. If I cry and appear upset…….will they be deeds of impatience?.

InshaAllah I will remind her to recite the last two verses of surah Bakarah in which Allah says ‘Allah does not burden a person beyond his scope’.

I would gladly welcome any advice about how she and indeed all of us can practically practice patience.

Wasalaam

 

[Safa]

"Verily, with every difficulty there is relief."- 94:6

Anything that happens in life is a test from Allah (swt). During tough times we ask Allah (swt) for help and crying is way of submitting ourselves to Him.Therefore, crying as a way of seeking help or forgiveness wouldn't count as impatient. The fact that one is blessed with food, clothes etc is a reason why one should thank Allah (swt). Mustering a smile for someone or saying salam preferably is an act of good deed and rewardable by Allah (swt).

All in all one should keep in mind that Allah is in control of everything and that's all that matters. You praise Him during good times (Alhamdulillah) and praise Him during your bad times. Know that Allah keeps everything in control and that you will earn great rewards for practicing patience, by doing the good deeds prescribed by Allah (swt).

InshaAllah the sister will feel better.

Hope this helps.

 

[Safa]

Sabr OR Shukr ~ The Worry Stops Here
by Muhammad Alshareef

There are three types of Sabr that the Muslim must have:

a. Sabr in the obedience of Allah.

For example, One must be patient and perform their Fajr at it's time.


b. Sabr in not disobeying Allah.

Like someone might say, "I just have to insult him." No, we are command by He who gave us our tongues to not follow the whispers of Shaytaan. And we must have Sabr in not disobeying Allah.


c. Sabr in what Allah Decrees on us.

For example, if our child was to pass away we should be patient and seek the reward of Allah in our patience and say only that which is pleasing to Allah.

There are two keys. If we understand them we shall open the door to Sabr in our lives:


The First Key: know that our souls, families and wealth do not belong to us, they belong to Allah. He gave it to us as a loan to see what we would do with it. And when he takes it back He is taking back what belongs to Him. We had nothing before the blessing and we'll have nothing after it. We did not create the blessing from nothing, so how can we claim that it belongs to us.


The Second Key: We are on a journey and the destination is the hereafter - Paradise or Hell. We shall be leaving the Dunya behind us and we'll come back to Allah by ourselves. This is what needs our focus. And if Allah is pleased with us then no worry. If He is not pleased with us then all worry.

Let me draw your attention to a verse. Listen carefully. Allah revealed:

[Guard strictly the (five obligatory) prayers, especially the middle Salah and stand before Allah in obedience.]- alBaqarah 2/238

The verses before this deal with divorce. The verses after it deal with divorce. Why was this verse placed in the middle?

The Ulama' have suggested, Wa Allaahu a'lam, that in the hard times that a person goes through (especially in a divorce) they should not forget the remembrance of Allah, the Salah. And it is that Salah coupled with Sabr that will pull them through.

[O you who believe! Seek Help in Patience and Salah. Truly, Allah is with those that are patient.]-Baqarah 2/153



In conclusion



Allah ta'ala wants us to give pass on the following good news:

[And give good news to the patient who, when afflicted with calamity say, "Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return."/They are those on whom the Salawat (i.e. the blessing and forgiveness) of their Lord is upon them, and who shall receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones] -Baqarah 2/157



Allah promised anyone who wants to work on his or her patience three things: Forgiveness, Mercy, and guidance. Who could ask for more?



Complete khutbah from: http://www.khutbah.com/index.php?type=5&id=646&language=8

 

[Concealed Pearl]

jazakallah khairun for this beautiful thread- this thread really touched me just when I needed it.

 

[Ummu Amatullah]

Seek Help in Patience and Prayer (Explanation of 2:153-154) Explained by Imam Ibn Kathir
“O you who believe! Seek help in patience and prayer. Truly! Allah is with the patient. And say not of those who are killed in the Cause of Allah, ‘They are dead.’ Nay, they are living, but you perceive not.” [Soorah al-Baqarah (2):153-154]


Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala proceeds by explaining patience, guidance and seeking help in patience and prayer. The servant is either grateful for a blessing that is bestowed on him or patient for a trial which has been inflicted upon him. Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala has explained that the best means that can be sought in enduring disasters are patience and prayer.

It is mentioned in the Hadith that “Whenever something happened to the prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, he would pray” (Sahih). There are two types of patience: The first is restraint from committing sins and the second type is showing obedience to Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala and making sacrifices. The latter is the most rewarding because it is the purpose. There is a third type of patience, it is the endurance of disasters and crises and includes seeking Allah's subhanahu wa ta`ala forgiveness from mistakes. Ali ibn Al Husain Zin Al `Abidin said: “When Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala gathers people from the first generations and people from the later generations, an announcer will announce: ‘Where are the patient people, so that they will enter Paradise before trial?’” This is supported by Allah’s subhanahu wa ta`ala statement “Only those who are patient will receive their rewards in full without reckoning.” (39:10)

Sa`id ibn Jubair said “Patience is the servant’s appreciation of Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala for a disaster that has happened to him, considering it as a sacrifice in anticipation of Allah’s subhanahu wa ta`ala reward in the Hereafter, and a man may be suffering a great deal but does not show his feelings. Instead, all you can see from him is endurance.

In the verse, “And say not of those who are killed in the Cause of Allah, ‘They are dead.’ Nay they are living.” (2:154) Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala informs us that those who are killed in the Cause of Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala are in their Barzakh (period between death and resurrection), finding their sustenance in the presence of Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala. In Sahih Muslim, it is mentioned that: “The souls of the martyrs live in the bodies of green birds who have their nests in chandeliers hung from the `Arsh of Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala. At one time their Lord took a glance at them and said: ‘Do you want anything?’ They said: ‘What more can we desire after You have given us that which you have not given to any of Your Servants?’ Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala asked them the same question again. When they realised that they would continue to be asked, they said: ‘We wish that You (Allah) may return us to the Earthly life so that we would be slain in Your Way another time’ – they wanted to do that because of the reward involved in martyrdom – Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala would say: ‘I have prescribed that to it (Earthly life) they shall not return.’” (Sahih Muslim)

On the authority of Ka`b ibn Malik, Imam Ahmad narrated: “The Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said: ‘Ar-Ruh (the soul) of the believer is a bird sitting in the trees of the Paradise waiting until Allah returns it to his body on the day He resurrects him.’” (Sahih) This also implies that all the believers, though the martyrs were specifically mentioned and honoured in the Qur’an as a recognition of their greatness.

 

[Takumi]

Assalamu-alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu


…..And those who are patient in adversity out of a longing for their Sustainers countenance, and are constant in prayer, and spend on others secretly and openly, out of what We provide for them as a sustenance, and who repel evil with good. It is these that shall find their fulfilment in the hereafter: gardens of perpetual bliss, which they shall enter together with the righteous from among their parents, their spouses, and their offspring; and the angels will come onto them from every gate and will say : ‘Peace be unto you because you have persevered.’
Al-Quran [Surah 13: 22-24]

She keeps reading these beautiful verses over and over again as they are such a source of comfort to her.

I have a friend who is going through a very difficult time in her life at the moment. She is very isolated both physically and psychologically………….its very hard to explain. For the moment prayer is her only solace…………..but she had a question for me which I had difficulty in answering. Perhaps someone can help me answer it?


Wasalaam

I don't know what she does for a living, but I can tell you how to try to be patient.

All the ahadeeth aside, she needs to stop crying and write down things that upsets her the most. When you write, you actually take time to transfer the unorganized elements in your brain.

Then she will look at the paper and divide those things that make her upset into two categories.

(a) Things that she can change
(b) Things that she cannot change.

It's pointless to cry and be sad over things that she can't change. For example a death in a family, relationship has gone kaput.

If she sees that there are a lot of elements in her life that she can change or have someone help her to change, she needs to do them quickly and alleviate the matter.

Observing patience is not crying to Allah and tell Him "please give me strength" per se. If that is the case, then Bilal would be left to die if patience is such a super duper noble quality.

Abu Bakr saw that and he could CHANGE things. He bought Bilal his freedom.

The prophet observed patience when he was ridiculed and stoned, but he did not just sit down and pray.He worked his behinds off so that we can be muslims and saved from the hell fire.

If you are her friend and if you love her, you must help her get off the prayer mat and do something. If not, I'm afraid there's nothing anyone can do.

 

[Snowflake]

It's true, what bro Takumi said. There's a saying that goes something like 'The devil finds work for idle hands'. When we have nothing to do, we're bombarded with thoughts, often depressing ones. Miracles don't happen, no matter how long you sit and pray, you have to make the effort to change your circumstances.
It would be beneficial for the sister if she engaged herself in voluntary work. Maybe she could help out at the local school for a couple of hours a day. If she's unable to leave the house, maybe if she's able to she can teach children arabic at home.

There are so many things going on out there, all sorts of classes for women. She can learn something and at the same time get out. She will feel better for it inshaAllah.

I don't know the sister's full situation but there is no reason to go on feeling like this. Above all she and everyone else must remember that difficult times do pass inshaAllah. I am saying this from experience. Nobody came and said that they'll do anything for me. I had to get off my backside and make the effort to change things. Sorry to go on, but it needn't be this way. I hope this inspires the sister somehow. I wish her the best inshaAllah. And always remember there are those worse off than us. May Allah give her the strength to cope better with her situation-ameen.