Islam is too hard for me

[S_87]

I don't need any Islamic thing right now... Or actually I don't know what I should get more. I've got books about Islam from mesjid already. I've got a carpet to prayer...

"omg its delicious arent you hungryyyyy?" It's actually happened to me, it wasn't that fun (my mom asked me)...

ok Alhumdulillah

and as for youre mum taunting you, all i can say is the amount of reward youre getting- SubhanAllah! Just ignore her and dont let her know what shes saying is affecting you in any way and she herself will stop it inshaAllah

 

[أبو سليمان عمر]

Asalamu alaykum

PLS READ THIS Muhammed
http://www.islamicboard.com/general/134285976-virtues-prayer.html

then after that pls look at this 2 links
Detailed Explanation on How to Make Wudu
How to Perform Salaah — Step by Step Explanation text - audio - pictures

And save this link its a good book inshallah it will be of someone benefit
Explaining the Foundations of Faith — Shaykh Ibn Al-’Uthaymeen, rahimahullaah http://islaambasics.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/explainingthefoundationsoffaith2.pdf

May Allah increase us in iman and make our hearts firm in islam Ameen

 

[Mohamed_]

Asalamu alaykum

PLS READ THIS Muhammed
http://www.islamicboard.com/general/134285976-virtues-prayer.html

then after that pls look at this 2 links
Detailed Explanation on How to Make Wudu
How to Perform Salaah — Step by Step Explanation text - audio - pictures

And save this link its a good book inshallah it will be of someone benefit
Explaining the Foundations of Faith — Shaykh Ibn Al-’Uthaymeen, rahimahullaah http://islaambasics.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/explainingthefoundationsoffaith2.pdf

May Allah increase us in iman and make our hearts firm in islam Ameen

I know how to prayer, even how to do the wudu. And how say the sentecnces at prayer, even at wudu... But thanks anyway.

 

[GuestFellow]

I have, of course.... :hmm:

Asslamu Aliakum.

I think you need to tell your mom what you're going through. Tell her how serious you are about this.

"omg its delicious arent you hungryyyyy?" It's actually happened to me, it wasn't that fun (my mom asked me)...

From reading this...I doubt your mom is taking your religious practices seriously.

 

[أبو سليمان عمر]

I know how to prayer, even how to do the wudu. And how say the sentecnces at prayer, even at wudu... But thanks anyway.

Mashallah may Allah bless you with good inshallah u can read the book and the first link as well inshallah on the book it is 86 pages not to long and take your time reading it

 

[MaiCarInMtl]

Assalamu alaikum Mohamed,

as someone who came from a Catholic family (although not very practicing) and converted 1 year ago, perhaps I can give you a bit of advice or my point of view on things...

1st. Food, my family isn't muslim. I live with my mom, stepfather and brother. They don't give me that much respect. My mom usually cooks pork nowadays, and there is like nothing else for me, so I've to eat pork too...

In the culture I grew up in (French-Canadian), a lot of pork is consumed (alcohol too). If your mother cooks pork, then I guess you have to eat something else (I can only assume you have vegetables, bread, cheese, etc in the fridge). Perhaps after keeping at it for a while, your mother will realize how serious you are about this (and that it's not a phase) and she will make something pork-free for you. If she doesn't want to cook something pork free for you and you don't have time to cook for yourself, perhaps request that she buy you some frozen dinners that you can simply heat up when her food choices don't respect your religious obligations...
Also, in another post, you mentioned speaking to your dad about this. It seemed as though he was a bit more open to things. Was this your dad or your step-dad? You may have someone in the house who is more of an ally and may hold some weight in this issue.

2nd. Girls, I'm usually almost everyday out of home. And there are girls, when a I see good-looking gilrs that's really hard to stop myself to don't check them. And school has just begun. I be 16 soon and I hadn't much girlfriend before, so I will look for some sure. And I very miss my last girlfriend...

As others have said, just keep at it and things will get better. I know, I know, it's bad! I'm currently going through something somewhat similar although on the female side: I'm 25, the baby clock is ticking, been celibate for over a year and am engaged to a wonderful man. Whenever bad thoughts pop up, I stop myself, ask Allah for forgiveness and try to distract myself with something else (recipes, wedding preparations, reading Qur'an, dikr, etc). Yes it is hard, especially with the way people dress, but trust me the eyeful you may get for a few seconds is not worth the punishment later on!

3rd. Prayers, as I said school has just begun and I should spend 1 prayer in school, and that's impossible. The boss of the school doesn't allow me to do that. When I get home then I should prayer for 2 prayers, and after school not sure I'll be in the mood for prayer, especially on bad days. I couldn't really prayer in the last 6-8 days.

Prayers take time If you're late, simply make up for the prayer as soon as it is possible. I personally cannot go to bed without having all my prayers done - I feel guilty and I also have the fear that I may never wake up again, dying with a day of incomplete praying... Sure school gets in the way, work does too for many of us. Just make the best of it you can. Allah only asks for 25 minutes out of your day for the 1440 minutes he awards us all.

4th. Fasting, I can't fast alone, because as I said noone else is muslim who I live with. So they eat when they want to, that's bad to see they are eating and I'm watching them... Or hear when they say "it's delicious"...

I fasted alone the first year I was fasting and this was before I ever converted. I fasted out of curiosity, to know what people went through, and I did the whole month while going to university and working. I lived with roommates at the time and constantly had people eating around me. Yes, it's certainly not easy, but keep at it. last year I had a co-worker eating lunch at her desk right next to me (3-4 feet away). Boy was it hard! But I kept reminding myself that the rewards are immense and that some people don't even get to break their fasts at the end of the day because they have NOTHING to eat.

Something else you mentioned: people calling you a terrorist. Easier said than done but just ignore them. Kids in high school can be pretty mean and they can be quite ignorant as well. I've even had some adults say some really ignorant things to me (and we're talking educated people). You'll encounter this throughout your life. You can do 2 things: 1 - Ignore them or 2 - Enlighten them. In this particular case, I'm thinking ignoring them might be your better option. If they ever seem more open to discussing things, that's when you enlighten them.

Basically, don't give up hope, do the best you can, ask Allah for guidance, support, wisdom and a burden you can bare. I also highly suggest you concentrate on your studies too, this should also serve as a great distraction from the girl problem.

Walaikum salaam!

 

[Mohamed_]

Assalamu alaikum Mohamed,

as someone who came from a Catholic family (although not very practicing) and converted 1 year ago, perhaps I can give you a bit of advice or my point of view on things...


In the culture I grew up in (French-Canadian), a lot of pork is consumed (alcohol too). If your mother cooks pork, then I guess you have to eat something else (I can only assume you have vegetables, bread, cheese, etc in the fridge). Perhaps after keeping at it for a while, your mother will realize how serious you are about this (and that it's not a phase) and she will make something pork-free for you. If she doesn't want to cook something pork free for you and you don't have time to cook for yourself, perhaps request that she buy you some frozen dinners that you can simply heat up when her food choices don't respect your religious obligations...
Also, in another post, you mentioned speaking to your dad about this. It seemed as though he was a bit more open to things. Was this your dad or your step-dad? You may have someone in the house who is more of an ally and may hold some weight in this issue.


As others have said, just keep at it and things will get better. I know, I know, it's bad! I'm currently going through something somewhat similar although on the female side: I'm 25, the baby clock is ticking, been celibate for over a year and am engaged to a wonderful man. Whenever bad thoughts pop up, I stop myself, ask Allah for forgiveness and try to distract myself with something else (recipes, wedding preparations, reading Qur'an, dikr, etc). Yes it is hard, especially with the way people dress, but trust me the eyeful you may get for a few seconds is not worth the punishment later on!


Prayers take time If you're late, simply make up for the prayer as soon as it is possible. I personally cannot go to bed without having all my prayers done - I feel guilty and I also have the fear that I may never wake up again, dying with a day of incomplete praying... Sure school gets in the way, work does too for many of us. Just make the best of it you can. Allah only asks for 25 minutes out of your day for the 1440 minutes he awards us all.


I fasted alone the first year I was fasting and this was before I ever converted. I fasted out of curiosity, to know what people went through, and I did the whole month while going to university and working. I lived with roommates at the time and constantly had people eating around me. Yes, it's certainly not easy, but keep at it. last year I had a co-worker eating lunch at her desk right next to me (3-4 feet away). Boy was it hard! But I kept reminding myself that the rewards are immense and that some people don't even get to break their fasts at the end of the day because they have NOTHING to eat.

Something else you mentioned: people calling you a terrorist. Easier said than done but just ignore them. Kids in high school can be pretty mean and they can be quite ignorant as well. I've even had some adults say some really ignorant things to me (and we're talking educated people). You'll encounter this throughout your life. You can do 2 things: 1 - Ignore them or 2 - Enlighten them. In this particular case, I'm thinking ignoring them might be your better option. If they ever seem more open to discussing things, that's when you enlighten them.

Basically, don't give up hope, do the best you can, ask Allah for guidance, support, wisdom and a burden you can bare. I also highly suggest you concentrate on your studies too, this should also serve as a great distraction from the girl problem.

Walaikum salaam!

Thanks.

I live with a step-father. I don't live with my dad. My dad lives with his wife and my sister.

Anway, dad's wife was a strong christian before, and now my dad teaches her to write/speak/read arabic. And she is starting to believe in Allah and Mohamed (p.b.u.h.), I think she will convert soon... ^^ insallah.

 

[markislam]

Is your Dad a muslim ? Alhamdullah very nice to hear

 

[glo]

Did your parents separate and you went to live with your non-Muslim mother and step dad?
Do you still have contact with your biological father? Perhaps he can offer you support, and help explain to your mother and step father.

 

[Asim Khan]

Mashallah brother! It's great to hear about your father, and that you can go to a masjid, alhumdulillah! Brother Umar's book looks great! This is a great (comparative religion) booklet that you can start sharing with your family; you could maybe start with the segment on prostration and supplication ("'O you who believe! Bow down [...]'", "...and invariably, the faithful spreads out his hands to God")

http://www.jamaat.net/muslimprayer/prayer.html Below is the MS Word document version, but the pictures in it take time to load on my computer:

http://www.teachislam.com/dmdocuments/AhmedDeedad/the_muslim_at_prayer.doc

You can scan through this extract to see if you are prepared for questions that may arise: http://www.institutealislam.com/the-true-message-of-jesus-christ-by-dr-bilal-philips/ Entire book: http://www.islamtomorrow.com/books/true_message_of_jesus_christ/true_message_of_jesus.pdf

Hey, maybe you might even use the Qudsi hadith.

Hadith Qudsi 25: “'I declare war against him who shows hostility to a pious worshipper of Mine. My servant approaches Me with nothing more beloved to Me than what I have enjoined upon him; and My servant keeps on coming closer to Me through performing supererogatory works till I love him. And when I love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, his sight with which he sees, his hand with which he seizes, and his foot with which he walks. [...]."

The similitude of God and his messenger being in every steadfast believer tells us about God's protection and guidance for staying on the straight path. God becomes the supervisor and the objective of one's organs' functions so that one hears what is liked by Him, sees what is liked by Him, uses his hands for things liked by Him, and uses his legs to go to places liked by Him. Obeying the messenger is oberying God. To attempt perfection, one must follow the messenger: one casts aside one's own desires and habits to do things the messenger recommended (and didn't command) and tries to do things the way the messenger did them (even without him specifying this).

John 10:

27. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.

28. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.

29. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand.

30. I and the Father are one.”

 

[Mohamed_]

@markislam:
Yes, he is. I'm converted by him.

@glo:
Yes, I do live with my non-muslim mother, stepfather, brother. My dad lives with my stepmother, sister, brother.
I can visit almost on every second weekend my biological dad. I even spent this day with him in a mesjid.

@Asim Khan:
Thanks for the link, also for the hadeeth.


Sorry, for short answers, but I just came from mesjid and it's 23:33 (11:33 pm) over here, and I get up at 6:00 (6:00 am). So I've 6 hours to sleep...:embarrass

 

[Zane]

Salaam bro,

It's great to hear you're working through this, many brothers and sisters are here to support you and inshallah if you perservere, you'll do well.

Salaam

 

[Mohamed_]

Salaam bro,

It's great to hear you're working through this, many brothers and sisters are here to support you and inshallah if you perservere, you'll do well.

Salaam

Yes, I can see it. You're very helpful. Nice to have you as my brothers and sisters.

 

[glo]

@markislam:
Yes, he is. I'm converted by him.

@glo:
Yes, I do live with my non-muslim mother, stepfather, brother. My dad lives with my stepmother, sister, brother.
I can visit almost on every second weekend my biological dad. I even spent this day with him in a mesjid.

@Asim Khan:
Thanks for the link, also for the hadeeth.


Sorry, for short answers, but I just came from mesjid and it's 23:33 (11:33 pm) over here, and I get up at 6:00 (6:00 am). So I've 6 hours to sleep...:embarrass

That must be a tricky situation for you ...

How long ago did your parents separate?
Do your parents have four children together, and two went to live with your mother, the other two with you father; or are there half brothers/sisters?
Did you choose to live with your mum?
How does your mum feel about your dad 'converting you to Islam'?

(I am asking because I can imagine that - depending how your well your parents get on with each other now, your conversion may have brought up old tensions and disagreements, and may lead to your mother not being very accommodating towards your faith ... That's of course completely hypothetical. You'd know better than I do!)

 

[Mohamed_]

That must be a tricky situation for you ...

How long ago did your parents separate?
Do your parents have four children together, and two went to live with your mother, the other two with you father; or are there half brothers/sisters?
Did you choose to live with your mum?
How does your mum feel about your dad 'converting you to Islam'?

(I am asking because I can imagine that - depending how your well your parents get on with each other now, your conversion may have brought up old tensions and disagreements, and may lead to your mother not being very accommodating towards your faith ... That's of course completely hypothetical. You'd know better than I do!)

My parents separated when I was 2 years old, it's happened 13 years ago... But after they left Islam... My mom left it first, then my dad followed her... And the mesjid where we were going that's even closed, and couldn't even meet the those muslims anymore.

My parents had only me, then they separated. Then my mom found a stepfather. Stepfather... nah that's hard to call him "father"... That guy beated my mom when she was pregnant with my brother. I really heated him, never talked to him much. We spent 7 years with that "stepfather". And the that's funny, 'cause my mom really loved him even he beated her. Those years was the real hell for me. By the way, that guy is an alchololist. Later my mom gave birth to my brother (my mom was pregnanted by that "stepfather"). When my brother was borned, after about 2 years they be seprated...
But! When my dad got know at the start (when my mom started to meet up that guy), then my dad told her that "there is a last chance to come back to me, 'cause that guy isn't for you". My dad know that guy before, they worked together. My dad even told her that "that guy won't be good for you and our child (me)". But my mom didn't listen to him... That "stepfather" sometimes scarred the cr*p out of me.

No, I couldn't choose, 'cause in Hungary there is a rule about it.
If the child is under age 16, then he goes automaticly to the mother. Except if the mother is alcoholist, b*tch etc...
If/when the child is 16 years old, then he can choose to go his/her mother/father.
When the child is 18 years old, then he can go to anywhere he/she wants to. So he/she doesn't need to live with his/her parents anymore.
(I'll be 16 on 15th. of September, and maybe I will go and live with my dad)

I don't really have idea how my mom thinks about that, I don't really care. She didn't/doesn't really care about me and my life and how (for example, choosing that "stepfather" who beated her, she didn't ask me about anything, not even "do I like him?"). She didn't think about me then, how that guy will be good for me.

So my brother borned, after 2 years that "stepfather" got kicked out by my mom (FINALLY!!! after 7 years). That brother lives with us.
My dad found a woman, and they got married, they live fine together. And his wife gave birth to my another brother and sister. By the way, my dad is turning her to be a muslim, I think there are only months, then she will say "I'd like to be muslim". My dad teaches her to write/speak/read arabic. My sister sometimes pray with my dad and me when I'm with them on the weekends.

I don't have any full-brother/sister, only half ones.

But since those all happened, my mom had some other stepfathers, there was really good ones, I did really like them. They could be some "dad" for me... And what happened? My mom broken the contatcs with them, she was jealous for nothing... But really... Even asked them "where were you all day? What did you do? Are you sure weren't you with other girls? Do you fancy that girl over there?"... My mom gone crazy about really everything.

Those times were the real hell for me, I never felt myself so fine, and I was going home from schoo, I was thinking about "is "stepfather" drunk or no?"... If he was home and drunk, then I was running away and spend times with friends.

I think if that ex-"stepfather" would tell anything bad to me or especially about my religion then I would really beat him (he thinks every muslim is arab, he is stupid and racist).

Ps, sorry if I confused you, but my english composition is too small and not skilled. If you didn't understand anything then just feel free to ask again and then I'll try my best to explain you better.

 

[Proud of Islam]

Salaam..
I really liked the reply of MaiCarInMtl..

I personally cannot go to bed without having all my prayers done - I feel guilty and I also have the fear that I may never wake up again, dying with a day of incomplete praying...

That's the point! I always wonder how people can sleep without this fear although they know that death is coming at any moment & they'll be asked by Allah about everything..

Allah only asks for 25 minutes out of your day for the 1440 minutes he awards us all.

Subhanallah! He awards us with all that minutes, as you said, but Fard prayers don't take time!

But I kept reminding myself that the rewards are immense and that some people don't even get to break their fasts at the end of the day because they have NOTHING to eat.

We should think about this when fasting, and we should also remind ourselves about all graces that Allah gave us..

I also highly suggest you concentrate on your studies too, this should also serve as a great distraction from the girl problem.

May Allah make it easy for our brother, Mohamed.. And may Allah reward you, MaiCarInMtl, for your nice reply which really benefited me & I'm sure it's helpful for many..


----------------------------------------------------------------

Longing for the Paradise (Al-Jannah) where the endless happiness…

 

[Bub]

Saalam little brother, masha'Allah, keep it up! dont give up and stay be strong. i start wearing haijab recently, i go to a boarding school with it. and few of non-Muslim people made a fun of me but deeply in my heart, Allah swt will punish them on day of Judgement insha'Allah so be alone is better than with companionship. sorry for my baaaad english :embarrass

 

[Mohamed_]

Saalam little brother, masha'Allah, keep it up! dont give up and stay be strong. i start wearing haijab recently, i go to a boarding school with it. and few of non-Muslim people made a fun of me but deeply in my heart, Allah swt will punish them on day of Judgement insha'Allah so be alone is better than with companionship. sorry for my baaaad english :embarrass

Salam!
Thanks! And I really respect the women in Islam, they wear hijab lmost anywhere and they seem like don't care about what the other non-muslim people say about them. When a muslim boy/man is on the street, noone knows he is a muslim or no. But when a muslim woman wears hijab, then everyone know she is a muslim.
I'm also trying to keep it up, even I'm being called as terrorist, while I'm not... There are a lot of people who know I am a muslim, when they see me they yalls at me "hey you terrorist", I'm only tell 'em "I'm not a terrorsit". They keep saying it, and then I say "take care to not to be bombed"... Then they take it seriosly and be quiet for some day, but later they start it again... But I'm trying to don't take care about them, becuase Allah will make them obey to him and teach them in the fire.

Ps, your english isn't bad I understood what you wanted to say. I think my is worse... But I've no idea who have good and who have bad english... At least British and Americans have excellent!

 

[hajibala]

Brother , please hangon ..

There are difficulties.. I am of your age too .. please bear with your strife.Its very difficult i know , but we all are here with you.

When you look back after this life , you will realise that this will be the most rewarding period.

i agree with u.he shuld just try to be strong and have faith in Alla s.w.t as He is the only one that can bailus intermsof trials nad dificult times.

 

[Mohamed_]

i agree with u.he shuld just try to be strong and have faith in Alla s.w.t as He is the only one that can bailus intermsof trials nad dificult times.

Yes, true!