Need advice on raising kids

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It is a good advice but the problem with it is , once we have this mentality that what others do is ok and we allow it and slowly we start feeling it is alright to do this haraam stuff. That is how our mind works.

I never used to curse and when i was a christian then some one said , there is nothing wrong with making friends who curse all the time, try to show them christ through you and in the end i started using curse words after a few years.
 
markislam said:
It is a good advice but the problem with it is , once we have this mentality that what others do is ok and we allow it and slowly we start feeling it is alright to do this haraam stuff. That is how our mind works.
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Nobody asks you to gain the mentality that what others do is ok. What we are telling you is to not get on an over-enthusiasm about your new found direction to God and the truth and then start setting boundaries for other people and judgement lines for them to be labeled sinners if they don't follow suit.

Let yourself settle in Islam first, enjoy it, get it right and forget about your wife and child's religion for now. They will come around if and when they do. Even the son of Noah did not go with him on the ark so you cannot force anyone to adopt a belief if they're not ready for it, and prophets are given great knowledge and support to deliver the message, you may do a lot more harm than good if you start wanting to set new rules and laws in your home based on what you just learned.

Give it a few months and then you will know how to attract them towards Islam, and most probably they will respond to the easy-going husband who improved and showed he's a gentler happier person than they will ever be to the short Abaya-wearing christmas-bashing frustrated man, frustrated probably because he doesn't fully understand what a misguided fellow muslim told him regarding "eat with your fingers and don't use the fork and knife" was all about and feels he's not doing what he's supposed to.

Salam Alaikom brother
 
walekum asalam
thanks :) even a brother at mosque told the same thing today :)
i better give time and not worry about wife and kids
 
I think you just dug yourself a deep and pitless hole. You're just going to have to tell your wife and do NOT force ANYTHING upon your kids, let them be how they are.
 
mysticalrain said:
I think you just dug yourself a deep and pitless hole. You're just going to have to tell your wife and do NOT force ANYTHING upon your kids, let them be how they are.
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Sorry, irresponsible. You shouldn't force your kid something but neither should you let them do whatever they want. Just guessing.
 
Rasema said:
Sorry, irresponsible. You shouldn't force your kid something but neither should you let them do whatever they want. Just guessing.
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You understand what I said. He should leave his kids be!! Do not even suggest to them anything!! Raise them secular as a halfway deal, if he starts raising them islamic then his wife will be pissed :raging:
 
mysticalrain said:
You understand what I said. He should leave his kids be!! Do not even suggest to them anything!! Raise them secular as a halfway deal, if he starts raising them islamic then his wife will be pissed :raging:
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Seriously, you can't let your kids just be. You have to lecture them.
 
Rasema said:
Seriously, you can't let your kids just be. You have to lecture them.
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How men? By shoving religion down the throat??????

My father and mother parents raised me freethinker. I be spiritualism, muslim, christian, jew, atheist, doesn't matter i'm their son and a human being and a person first and not a religious title :p

Just let the childs be, this is best years of life.... let the seeds grow and enjoy the planet around them.
 
children need structure, definition, and rules, the same way they need proper schooling food on the table and sports to Chanel their energy.
Who is to say the way your parents raised you is correct or that you turned out all right? just following your posts around, you appear to be one who kowtows to authority, in a constant state of vacillation, unable to construct your time so that you are both productive at work you spiritual life or other aspects of your life, you seem indecisive, pushy, poorly tempered with a labile affect... is this what you are advising others to raise their kids with, because in your mind it is the 'best'?

You don't know the first thing about Islam to understand it as a complete system that governs the affairs to propose the introduction of lesser systems as a better a way of life. To begin with I have no idea what your base line is.. And further go on to assume, that the OP is equally ductile that a half thought advise will be lapped up and enforced...

why not give them up to social services, or grow some weed for weekend herbing, or worship some devils, after all letting them be is the best thing...

It is good to lead by example, children get their first impressions and introduction to what is appropriate from their parents.. best that the parents be on the best character and to define for them that having principal and standing by it, means a whole lot more than 'not pissing off your wife'

all the best
 
Teaching islam to children is not that hard...

Is like telling them the importance of there is only one god, the cleanliness, to respect the elders, to respect the parents, not to lie, to always help the poor, to have the best manners and etc
 
Gossamer skye said:
children need structure, definition, and rules, the same way they need proper schooling food on the table and sports to Chanel their energy.
Who is to say the way your parents raised you is correct or that you turned out all right? just following your posts around, you appear to be one who kowtows to authority, in a constant state of vacillation, unable to construct your time so that you are both productive at work you spiritual life or other aspects of your life, you seem indecisive, pushy, poorly tempered with a labile affect... is this what you are advising others to raise their kids with, because in your mind it is the 'best'?

You don't know the first thing about Islam to understand it as a complete system that governs the affairs to propose the introduction of lesser systems as a better a way of life. To begin with I have no idea what your base line is.. And further go on to assume, that the OP is equally ductile that a half thought advise will be lapped up and enforced...

why not give them up to social services, or grow some weed for weekend herbing, or worship some devils, after all letting them be is the best thing...

It is good to lead by example, children get their first impressions and introduction to what is appropriate from their parents.. best that the parents be on the best character and to define for them that having principal and standing by it, means a whole lot more than 'not pissing off your wife'

all the best
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With all respect, you're ignorant if you judge me based on a username or a few posts I make. You do not know me as a person, and probably never will. It's hard for me to speak English, and I'm still learning about Islam. I'm getting better at both though, very fast.

I know Islam is perfect, never said otherwise! I was trying to say that blind indoctrination is not the answer to his problem he is facing. Besides, he would face big problems with is wife if he converted his children to Islam, based on what he typed.

And yes, I know about Islam, but there is so much to know that I'm still learning! Be nice to a newbie!

As for my beliefs: I'm somewhat reclusive, pro environment, love animals, pro Islam, anti hate speech and racist, anti drugs, anti intoxicants, and pro multiculturalist. People have different definitions of 'right' and 'wrong' Gossamer Skye, it all depends on their current life and upbringing. But Islam is definitely most great :Crescent:
 
blazingflames17 said:
With all respect, you're ignorant if you judge me based on a username or a few posts I make. You do not know me as a person, and probably never will. It's hard for me to speak English, and I'm still learning about Islam. I'm getting better at both though, very fast.
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Are you 'mysticalrain'?


all the best
 

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