How important is the 'Past' ..?

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Diyaa~

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Salamulaikum brothers and sisterS! :)


When looking at the characteristics of someone could be a potential spouse - and you found out they had a past of any sort.. would you consider them a good person? would you still accept them?
its true when they say the past is what makes our today.. and in considering someone the past can be important.. but how much does it matter to you as a person? Seeing that the past is 'past' would you still be with that person and start a new life with them? ..

Would you want to know what kind of person they were in the past, what they'v been through etcC, or does that not matter so long as theyre a humble and pious person now?..

Share your viewsS and opinions!
Jazakallah Khair!
Sister Diyaa~
 
as long as he has no emotional attachment to her as is completey over her, i cant see my self being all that bothered. however, the "impression" his past has left on him i would want to know as well as what i would mean to him as a potential/wife. they are the sort of questions i would be directly towards.
 
if the past is just that-the past then i think almost everyone would have some kind of 'past' that they may not want to be their future...
 
lets forget the past.... to look at today because it will give us an idea about tomorrow
 
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:sl:

Optimus Prime once said:

“..our pasts will always be remembered, for in those memories we live on.”
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But I beg to differ, sometimes we should turn a blind eye to the past, if a person has done something in their past and they really regret it and have shown sincere repentence and become good then Allah will forgive them, and who are you to not forgive when Allah forgives?

Truly man gets and forgets, and Allah gives and forgives.
 
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I agree with Khaldun,

BUT what guarantees that that person will not go back to the thinks he did in the past?

I don't really know :/
 
Wasalaam,

It's up to YOU to decide how important past actions are.

Would you hire a convicted ex-robber to work in your shop who says he turned over a new leaf?
Would you marry a man divorced for cheating who says he has turned over a new leaf?

Whether you like it or not, these things weigh on your mind. We are not Allah, we don't know the true nature of this person.

Learn to use your faculties and think independantly for YOU, no one here can give you an answer to such a complex question, when your specific situation dictates the best answer.

Oh yes, and be objective, if you are smitten for example, you might be blinded by obvious cues, and ignore warning signs that you should.

Peace
 
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Pasts aren't important in my opinion. If the individual is sorry for any mistakes they have made then I don't see the problem. You wouldn't judge a new muslim for their life as a non-muslim, would you? It's the same principle.
 
Salaam,
AhlaamBella said:
Pasts aren't important in my opinion. If the individual is sorry for any mistakes they have made then I don't see the problem. You wouldn't judge a new muslim for their life as a non-muslim, would you? It's the same principle.
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Would you respond the same to the two questions I posed above?

Peace
 
Kabeer said:
Salaam,

Would you respond the same to the two questions I posed above?

Peace
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Yes, I would. Obviously proof is needed that they have turned over a new leaf. Character reference would do that. But I would not judge them for it.
 
AhlaamBella said:
Yes, I would. Obviously proof is needed that they have turned over a new leaf. Character reference would do that. But I would not judge them for it.
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Fair does then :).

Who would you trust a character reference from btw?

Peace
 
Before any of us looks at the past of another, let us each honestly look at our own past. Keep in mind it is our past, the good, the bad and the ugly past that led us to be who we are today. To change one action of the past, even that which we do not want others to learn of, would most likely make a difference in the type of person we are today.

So let it be with others we look at. Look at what the person as he/she is today and keep in mind that the reason the person is as he/she is is the result of lessons learned in the past. To deny the person any part of their past, would be denying what the past has taught them The past is important as it is the school that taught us how to be today. If we like what we see in a person today, keep in mind it may be because of a horrible past the person learned to be an honrable person today.
 
:sl:

Umar bin Khattab used to worship statues made out of dates and then eat the statue afterwards.

Khaalid bin Waleed fought the Prophet at Uhud and ended up killing some very great Sahaaba.

Fudayl bin 'Ayyaad used to drink and rob people on the roads and had a love affair.

Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah was a very hard core sufi before he met Shaykh Ibn Taymiyyah.

Having looked into these peoples pasts, would you condsider marrying any of them?
 
Salam,
Yes, I would like to know almost everything about my future husband's life inshallah. As long as it is not too hard for him to talk about.
But no, I wouldn't consider him being a bad person if he admitted very bad things he had done. If he didn't regret it then there would be something wrong here, but if I could see how much he regret it but still trusts me and admits it. Then no, I really would see that as the past and look forward instead.
 
To some of the previous replies. We are not the Sahaba. And not every human is honest.

Just because someone says they have turned over a new leaf, doesn't always indicate the truth, or what will happen in the future. We are not Allah who knows the truth behind it.

Like sister J Aaliyah mentions above, you can use your faculties and gauge the sincerity.

Peace
 
Kabeer said:
To some of the previous replies. We are not the Sahaba. And not every human is honest.

Just because someone says they have turned over a new leaf, doesn't always indicate the truth, or what will happen in the future. We are not Allah who knows the truth behind it.

Like sister J Aaliyah mentions above, you can use your faculties and gauge the sincerity.

Peace
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That's why we are advised to perform Istikhaarah.
 
amani said:
if the past is just that-the past then i think almost everyone would have some kind of 'past' that they may not want to be their future...
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True everybody has a past whether there muslim or not thats why i do not judge anybody if they are changed like i was not proud of what i was doing before becoming muslim how i dressed in short skirts and cleavage showing everywhere i went even to school i did not wear a tie and i would dress more less to annoy the teachers and to get attention looking back on it now i was the fool for not listening to them and i wish i could have done better at school i am not proud of my past and i acted and behaved with people but Alhamdulilah since i reverted i have changed. i think everybody has a past and you should not judge them
 
amani said:
if the past is just that-the past then i think almost everyone would have some kind of 'past' that they may not want to be their future...
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:sl: Sis, Amani

You are wrong, I don't have anything from my past to hide, Alhamdulilaah...So, it is not necessary for everybody has to have some sort of a past to hide...
:wa:
 

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