He says he is only thinking of me, he wasnts to make me feel good, and that it might help to have another person there.
Gahh! Obviously it's only about making HIM feel good. Try asking him that you want another guy in there to make him feel good and what his thoughts on that would be. Pfft, watch his face as it turns to disgust over it!
Ah man, this guy sounds really bad sis and I agree with the others, he is just playing the guilt card. Him even emailing that girl is a BIG thing and alarm bells should be ringing. Unfortunately, it very much sounds like he is deceiving you and the limp thing is nothing more than BS.
He drinks, goes to clubs, dances and goes to the extent that he asks you to engage in his very haram desires with another girl (which I wouldn't be surprised if he was already having such relations with someone) and he doesn't even care about upsetting you. These are all sins and are not the way a muslim should behave. Why have you not left this guy yet? Sounds like an idiot. Many non-muslims would have left by now! Let alone muslim.
Does he pray? If not, I'd say you have everything to gain by leaving this guy and nothing to gain by staying. Some people will drag you down with them. Also keep in mind, if you do leave him,
break all contact with him. It is more and more easier for people to get in touch with their ex's these days with all the innovations in communications and he seems like the kind of guy who might ring or email you out of the blue in say 6 months too, in order to
persuade you back - and given the time away, you WILL be tempted to know about him due to the feelings you've had for him and you'd think maybe he's changed etc, but it would really be better if you never gave him the time of the day, ever. So change all your contact details if necessary after you've seperated.
Get in touch with a good imam/scholar and tell him about your husband, his stupid request in bed, his actions and his non-actions (whether he prays or not), his attitude toward Islam generally and ask the imam whether you should stay with him or not. Get more than one opinion. Some imams just like to hush people away and don't like getting involved with stuff too deep, so if you meet any like that, find another one that is willing to help properly. If you get an imam who says it is better to stay with him, get another opinion! Cos I find it really really hard to believe any sane muslim would want a new muslim to stay in such a horrible situation where your iman would be in constant danger, let alone a knowledeable imam. Some wouldn't think too deeply on this issue and only give out a superficial answer (divorce is disliked in Islam and should only be done if there is no other way right, so they might say to stay together etc, but given your circumstance, it is WAY better to go apart) so please give all the facts and ask them to consider properly and advise your accordingly.
and drink 
