Who's more strict?

[Beardo]

Interesting question.

Well, if I ever want something, I'd probably approach my mom. But if that fails miserably (like my mom doesn't even give it a second thought), I go to my dad. If that doesn't work, I make a petition, like the one I made about my mini laptop.

Though I find it a lot easier to get things from my dad.

In general, I think my dad only gets strict when my mom gets strict. Or when my mom tells him to be strict. :X

 

[Woodrow]

Re: Whose more strict?

There is usually a sharing of raising children in a household. The Mother is the enforcer, and the father is the disciplinarian.

Mom tells you not to do it.

Dad renders the punishment after you go ahead and do it.

 

[Beardo]

Re: Whose more strict?

There is usually a sharing of raising children in a household. The Mother is the enforcer, and the father is the disciplinarian.

Mom tells you not to do it.

Dad renders the punishment after you go ahead and do it.

That's sort of like the American style, I think.

The desi style is that the mother is the momster (when it comes to school, that is) and the father is the tag along. ;D

 

[Cabdullahi]

Re: Whose more strict?

Im closer to my mum than my dad but i think my dad is slightly more lenient but i love my mum more

 

[Beardo]

Re: Whose more strict?

Im closer to my mum than my dad but i think my dad is slightly more lenient

Exactly how it is with me too. :X

 

[Beardo]

Re: Whose more strict?

The Quran

1. "We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth" (46:15).

2. "Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood' "(17:23-24).

3. "We have enjoined on man and woman kindness to parents; but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not'" (29:8).

4. "We have enjoined on man and woman (to be good) to his/her parents; show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is (thy final) Goal. If they (parents) strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration) and follow the way of those who turn to Me (in love)" (31:14-15).

The Hadith

1. The Prophet Muhammad said, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him: Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother (Ahmad, Nasai).

2. A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).

3. Abu Usaid Saidi said: We were once sitting with Rasulullah when a man from the tribe of Salmah came and said to him: O Messenger of Allah! do my parents have rights over me even after they have died? And Rasulullah said: Yes. You must pray to Allah to bless them with His Forgiveness and Mercy, fulfill the promises they made to anyone, and respect their relations and their friends (Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah).

4. Abdullah ibn Amr related that the Messenger of Allah said: The major sins are to believe that Allah has partners, to disobey one's parents, to commit murder, and to bear false witness (Bukhari, Muslim).

5. It is narrated by Asma bint Abu Bakr that during the treaty of Hudaibiyah, her mother, who was then pagan, came to see her from Makkah. Asma informed the Messenger of Allah of her arrival and also that she needed help. He said: Be good to your mother (Bukhari, Muslim).

 

[syilla]

Re: Whose more strict?

you're right akhee woodrow...the mother is the enforcer and the father only punish after it or after the mom told to do so.

i just hate being the enforcer but at the same time i just can't stand the idea of my son not having discipline. sometimes i just feel to let it go and have their own way... but at the end of the day i'm still the enforcer. i missed being my old self

 

[Rafeeq]

Re: Whose more strict?

My mom is more strict. Even, I am grown enough, but still she threatens me that she would slap me

 

[S<Chowdhury]

Re: Whose more strict?

My mom is more strict. Even, I am grown enough, but still she threatens me that she would slap me

I feel your pain brother, i think it all depends on how your parents are brought up. My father isnt really that strict rather more liberal whilst my mum is a conservative person lol

 

[جوري]

Re: Whose more strict?

My father had us on a military style upbringing and always steered his ship with an iron grip-- but inside he is a softy.. although that side of him was never obvious.. He is very old school and I don't think many people are like that at all anymore... I think I inherited the 'military precision' lifestyle from him.. I generally despise positively despise failure and laziness.. and people who give up (or who have poor hygiene)

 

[aizar]

Re: Whose more strict?

when i was younger my mum was really strict but only in the right way making sure we read quran and having good manners dad on the other hand was softer but also strict in our good upbringing now i am a parent i think i am more strict then my husband even though i am from this country and he is from pakistan it all comes down to what your values are

 

[abu_musab461]

Re: Whose more strict?

i know a bother who used to be given chilli podwer if he dared to swear infront of his parents...

i think he is quite lucky.

 

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Re: Whose more strict?

Chilli powder if he swears at his parents by his parents?
How is that lucky?

 

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Re: Whose more strict?

Oh if he dares..by his friends?
and how is he lucky lol?

 

['Abdul Rahmaan]

Re: Whose more strict?

Mum..............

 

[Italianguy]

Re: Whose more strict?

Mia Madre (Mom), of course .....what?....come on i'm Italian, you think those giant wooden spoons hanging in the wall in an Italian womans kitchen are for cooking:hmm: Yu will find out realllllll quick when you come home latehew:hiding:

 

[roohani.doctor]

Re: Whose more strict?

^ LOL

Definitely Dad for me. He's gotten more lenient as I get older though

 

[AlbanianMuslim]

Re: Whose more strict?

There is usually a sharing of raising children in a household. The Mother is the enforcer, and the father is the disciplinarian.

Mom tells you not to do it.

Dad renders the punishment after you go ahead and do it.

Sounds about right for the most part. Im the only girl in the family so they are far more strict with me than the boys, and I dont disagree that it should be that way seeing as I am far more vulnerable than my brothers. My mother is usually the one who tells me not to do it and punished if I did, at this point in my life I dont really get into any type of trouble that she can really punish me for.
My dad usually handles my brothers but my mom has a strong influence over them too. They often run to her first when theyve done something wrong in the hopes that she will ease the blow. mg:

 

[ArtOfClass]

Re: Whose more strict?

^ LOL

Definitely Dad for me. He's gotten more lenient as I get older though

Definatly the same here. I'm surprised at the results.. I'd expected "Daddy" to be up top with hundreds of votes. :hmm:
Those who have strict mothers are blessed greatly.. I wish my mother strict. =)

Mia Madre (Mom), of course .....what?....come on i'm Italian, you think those giant wooden spoons hanging in the wall in an Italian womans kitchen are for cooking:hmm: Yu will find out realllllll quick when you come home latehew:hiding:

hehe, that's funny

Chilli powder if he swears at his parents by his parents?
How is that lucky?

Oh if he dares..by his friends?
and how is he lucky lol?

I think brother abu_musab461 is a fan of chilli powder himself. hehe;

i know a bother who used to be given chilli podwer if he dared to swear infront of his parents...

i think he is quite lucky.

 

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Re: Whose more strict?

^^ lol yeah maybe.