Friendship with opposite gender?

[Musliman]

But how can we be sure we will not do a sin? there's people who make friendships with girls and they say to themselves "we won't ever let zina happen" then eventually after shaytaan does his whispering they fall into this sin.

no 1 plans to fall into these sins they happen cos of being relaxed when it comes to the laws of Islam. Do you think a person who makes friends with a non muslim and as a result apostates planned to apostate at the start? obviously not he said to himself "if I'm sure i'm not going to apostate by being his friend it's ok" a few monthers later he apostates.

the point I'm trying to make is you yourself can never be sure you're not going to fall into a sin.

you might make friends with a girl and say to yourself I'm never gonna do zinna and a few months down the line you find yourself doing zina but at the start you said to yourself "I'm sure I will never do zina with this girl so what is the problem in being her friend"

No, not really I don't think so, just look at those very religious and radical muslims across Europe I'm sure they cannot interact with Muslims excusively, they undoubtebly have Kuffar friends. And just to remind, a Muslim man can marry up to four non muslims wives, does this mean, that those won't be able to wash his mind and bring him into their religion ? Let's be

Being married with someone who is not muslim is certainly more influential than friendship and we all know that nowadays women are equal to men mentally. We should more realistic

 

[KittenLover]

Don't promote you're unislamic beliefs, keep them to yourself

Brother adil we should make a new ruling Islam based upon his personal experiences!!

forget what the 'ulema of this religion say his personal experiences are the daleel!!!

 

[KittenLover]

No, not really I don't think so, just look at those very religious and radical muslims across Europe I'm sure they cannot interact with Muslims excusively, they undoubtebly have Kuffar friends. And just to remind, a Muslim man can marry up to four non muslims wives, does this mean, that those won't be able to wash his mind and bring him into their religion ? Let's be

Being married with someone who is not muslim is certainly more influential than friendship and we all know that nowadays women are equal to men mentally. We should more realistic

hmm so you're telling me that you're able to say without doubt 100% if you make friends with a woman you will never do zina with her??

and your telling me without doubt if you make friends with a non muslim and take him as your bosom buddy he will never affect your religion to the point where you want to convert to his religion?

 

[Musliman]

hmm so you're telling me that you're able to say without doubt 100% if you make friends with a woman you will never do zina with her??

and your telling me without doubt if you make friends with a non muslim and take him as your bosom buddy he will never affect your religion to the point where you want to convert to his religion?

Firstly, I am gay unfortunately and things are extremely complicated in my life as I have already created a thread last month. Secondly, regardless of Allah's attitude towards gays and lesbians, I remain and feel close to Allah, and I will remain Muslim inchallah until my life ceases

 

[Samkurd]

Ok lets make a ruling in Islam from your personal experiences then,

the entire ummah can ignore the advice of the scholars because of your personal experiences in life. is that what you would like? for us to ignore the advice of the prophet pbuh and take your personal experiences as rulings for this religion?

I think you're under the impression that we're saying

"you should be nasty to non muslim's, you should not even greet them or talk to them, you should completely hate them and ignore them"

no 1 is saying that. I think the confusion comes in the definition of "friend"

Im not trying to go against you im just saying that i find absolutely nothing wrong in being friendly with ''kaffars''. I dont even like the word kaffar, it seems to have become a derogatory word in the muslim world against anyone who isnt muslim.

And wow... Please dont put words in my mouth. "you should be nasty to non muslim's, you should not even greet them or talk to them, you should completely hate them and ignore them"

AND CANT I JUST SAY AN OPINION WITHOUT PEOPLE TAKING IT AS ME TRYING TO GET THEM TO FOLLOW "MY TEACHINGS"?

 

[aadil77]

Firstly, I am gay unfortunately and things are extremely complicated in my life as I have already created a thread last month. Secondly, regardless of Allah's attitude towards gays and lesbians, I remain and feel close to Allah, and I will remain Muslim inchallah until my life ceases

Allah is not a human that he has 'attitudes', those are His laws towards the filthy act of sodomy. Whether you're gay, lesbian or tranny doesn't matter, you just keep those desires and thoughts to yourself and not practice any of them.

 

[KittenLover]

Im not trying to go against you im just saying that i find absolutely nothing wrong in being friendly with ''kaffars''. I dont even like the word kaffar, it seems to have become a derogatory word in the muslim world against anyone who isnt muslim.

And wow... Please dont put words in my mouth. "you should be nasty to non muslim's, you should not even greet them or talk to them, you should completely hate them and ignore them"

AND CANT I JUST SAY AN OPINION WITHOUT PEOPLE TAKING IT AS ME TRYING TO GET THEM TO FOLLOW "MY TEACHINGS"?

no 1 is saying you shouldn't be kind to non muslim's, where did I say you should not be nice to them? who's putting words in my mouth now?

But your opinion on some things is contrary to to the teachings of Islam and the messenger of Allah pbuh, go read surah nisa verse 115 then come back and contend your opinion. People have to learn

"what I say or think doesn't matter it doesn't hold any weight in Islam"

"what Allah and his rasool say is what matters, that is what holds weight in Islam, my opinion has no value when they have spoken on a matter"

 

[aadil77]

AND CANT I JUST SAY AN OPINION WITHOUT PEOPLE TAKING IT AS ME TRYING TO GET THEM TO FOLLOW "MY TEACHINGS"?

Not an opinion that could misguide other muslims and give islam a bad image, especially as this opinion is coming from you - another muslim

 

[Samkurd]

Not an opinion that could misguide other muslims and give islam a bad image, especially as this opinion is coming from you - another muslim

But isnt the point of a forum to have discussions? Hence why its called a 'forum' ? - a place, meeting, or media where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged. (Oxford dictionary.)

 

[Musliman]

Allah is not a human that he has 'attitudes', those are His laws towards the filthy act of sodomy. Whether you're gay, lesbian or tranny doesn't matter, you just keep those desires and thoughts to yourself and not practice any of them.

Sorry, I pull back what I said, I chose the wrong word, I would say Allah's view , al hamdoulillah I do not practise same-sex experiences

 

[Samkurd]

Don't promote you're unislamic beliefs, keep them to yourself

"I have many many friends who are girls who are not muslim yet theyre perfectly fine, fun, loving and loyal friends.

haraam, wakeup or you'll regret it when you end up commiting zina with them, its that easy in this age"

Are you saying it is not possible to have a friends-only relation with non-muslim girls? That if i meet a girl who isnt muslim im inevitably going to have a sexual encounter with her? Thats just not realistic..

"Ive had a muslim friend who actually stole from my house every time she came over.

What was she doing in your house in the first place? Again don't reveal your sins, its suprising your parents even allowed her in. And are you trying to say muslims are worse than kuffar?"

My parents let her in because they are parents who accept everyone, no matter who they are they believe everyone should be treated equally.

She was at my house in the first place because we are friends, and only friends. Its nice to invite a girl over for lunch to talk or to watch a movie on tv, just like i do with my guy friends.

I am in NO way trying to say muslims are worse than non-muslims, nor the other way round.

"So like i said, i believe at the end of the day if the person is a good hearted person, go ahead and be friends.

Within limits set by islam brother, you're already making a huge mistake by keeping friendships with the opposite gender"

I can tell you now, in the western world, once you are friends with a girl, like buddies, she will NOT have sex with you. Thats the way girls minds work.

Im not trying to form sexual relations when i meet girls. Im just being social. I dont see anything wrong with that, i find it actually quite healthy.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

JazakAllah to all Muslims who took time to clarify my ignorance. I was asking this because I've seen Muslims who will tell you "dont make friendship with opposite gender" but then they make friendship with kufaar and hang out with them. If the reason for not making friendship or hanging out with opposite gender is that it can let us to commit sin then we have to be careful with even Kaafir friends! Their gatherings can influence us!

I was watching a video by Noman Ali Kham (Quranic student of knowledge), and he said that he was born as a Muslim but he became atheist because of the company of atheists he had. Then he came back to Islam.

So this means one cannot make friendship with kaaafirs or hang out with them or play ps3 with them or something of that sort.

 

[AlbanianMuslim]

Some of you need to read "In the Footsteps of the Prophet" pbuh

It will open some of your eyes. Even the Prophet Muhammaed pbuh was friendly with people of other faiths.
One of my BEST friends is jewish no less. She respects me, I respect her. We dont discuss our faiths. We both enjoy hallal foods, and she is there for me at my worst, not just at my best. First time i wore hijab in public, she was there with me supporting me, while some of my "muslim" friends avoided me.

 

[AlbanianMuslim]

Oh and as for the topic itself, i dont think you should be close friends with the opposite gender. Sometimes if you live in the western world you can avoid them completely, but refrain from being alone together, conversing in private even if its on the phone and no physical touching. Thats just my personal view on it, Im not sure what the ruling is in terms of Islam.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Some of you need to read "In the Footsteps of the Prophet" pbuh

It will open some of your eyes. Even the Prophet Muhammaed pbuh was friendly with people of other faiths.
One of my BEST friends is jewish no less. She respects me, I respect her. We dont discuss our faiths. We both enjoy hallal foods, and she is there for me at my worst, not just at my best. First time i wore hijab in public, she was there with me supporting me, while some of my "muslim" friends avoided me.

why? Not all friendships with opposite gender result in zina. So they should be allowed?

 

[Sawdah]

"I have many many friends who are girls who are not muslim yet theyre perfectly fine, fun, loving and loyal friends.

haraam, wakeup or you'll regret it when you end up commiting zina with them, its that easy in this age"

Are you saying it is not possible to have a friends-only relation with non-muslim girls? That if i meet a girl who isnt muslim im inevitably going to have a sexual encounter with her? Thats just not realistic..

"Ive had a muslim friend who actually stole from my house every time she came over.

What was she doing in your house in the first place? Again don't reveal your sins, its suprising your parents even allowed her in. And are you trying to say muslims are worse than kuffar?"

My parents let her in because they are parents who accept everyone, no matter who they are they believe everyone should be treated equally.

She was at my house in the first place because we are friends, and only friends. Its nice to invite a girl over for lunch to talk or to watch a movie on tv, just like i do with my guy friends.

I am in NO way trying to say muslims are worse than non-muslims, nor the other way round.

"So like i said, i believe at the end of the day if the person is a good hearted person, go ahead and be friends.

Within limits set by islam brother, you're already making a huge mistake by keeping friendships with the opposite gender"

I can tell you now, in the western world, once you are friends with a girl, like buddies, she will NOT have sex with you. Thats the way girls minds work.

Im not trying to form sexual relations when i meet girls. Im just being social. I dont see anything wrong with that, i find it actually quite healthy.

But can't you be social with the same gender instead?

Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.[An-Noor:30]

Listen to a clip on men and women intermingling from Br. Kamal El-Makki's lecture : The Fobidden Love

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxj2Fq9nmZc[/media]

 

[barney]

My understanding of the Kuffar/ Ummah thing through my studys is:

First define the meaning of freind.

To approach a kuffar in a polite manner is taught.
Thus to say "Hello, how are you" is OK.So is wishing them well.

To accept them as a freind is prohibited.
Thus "Hey, i really enjoyed the time we spent together, you fancy meeting again and doing something fun/hanging out" is prohibited regardless of the sex of the Kuffar.

Most Muslims i have spoken to accept that a certain amount of face to face meeting or contact is inevitable, especially in Western Lands, but that it is possible and neccessery to maintain relationships as professional or as part of buisness and not to transgress the limits.

 

[Italianguy]

Ok lets make a ruling in Islam from your personal experiences then,

the entire ummah can ignore the advice of the scholars because of your personal experiences in life. is that what you would like? for us to ignore the advice of the prophet pbuh and take your personal experiences as rulings for this religion?

I think you're under the impression that we're saying

"you should be nasty to non muslim's, you should not even greet them or talk to them, you should completely hate them and ignore them"

no 1 is saying that. I think the confusion comes in the definition of "friend"

Not at all, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and faith. My freinds are living proof that Islam does not teach Muslims to hate non-Muslims.

Sorry didn't mean to offend youimsad

 

[AlbanianMuslim]

why? Not all friendships with opposite gender result in zina. So they should be allowed?

You think that zina is the only bad thing that could happen? Touching, hugging, kissing on the cheek, cuddling...all those are sinful if done with someone other than a spouse or blood relation. It doesnt matter if you are hugging them because theyre your friend. They should not be allowed and it isnt allowed in Islam. Human weakness is a fact of life, you may think you are immune to committing sin with someone of the opposite gender but whose to say that tomorrow some you are exceptionally attracted to is able to manipulate you into committing sin? You never know what will happen, best not to tempt fate.

 

[barney]

You think that zina is the only bad thing that could happen? Touching, hugging, kissing on the cheek, cuddling...all those are sinful if done with someone other than a spouse or blood relation. It doesnt matter if you are hugging them because theyre your friend. They should not be allowed and it isnt allowed in Islam. Human weakness is a fact of life, you may think you are immune to committing sin with someone of the opposite gender but whose to say that tomorrow some you are exceptionally attracted to is able to manipulate you into committing sin? You never know what will happen, best not to tempt fate.

I've heard but dunno if I'm correct that to have thoughts about doing this is also a sin?