Hello everyone, very nice to meet you! My name is Mark. I am a 22 year old male from Pennsylvania. I would like to tell you where I am at spiritually in hopes of getting some guidance.
I was raised Roman Catholic. My family and I attended church every Sunday, and also for other requirements such as the Holy Days of Obligation. I never questioned my religion when I was younger, or at least from what I can remember. During middle school and early high school years, we learned about stories in The Bible, and what they meant. We had to fulfill a certain amount of hours that dealt with service for the church and the community. In 11th grade, I received the Sacrament of Confirmation.
I continued to go to church every week, and to pray. I was not the strongest Christian out there, as I really did not read The Bible and try to understand difficult parts of scripture that were used as readings in church. I went to church, prayed, and tried to live a holy life.
Slightly off track here, but I met my best friend Kareem online about six years ago. He is a Muslim from Cairo, Egypt. At first we barely discussed religion. Sometimes we would have an audio or video chat on Skype and I would hear the call to prayer in the background. It somewhat interested me. I asked him a plethora of questions about Islam one day. He is not a scholar who studies Islam and other religions for a living, but he did know more than enough to explain certain aspects to me.
One day I figured that I would buy a copy of the Qur'an on Amazon, and read it in my free time. My old priest (had retired about four years ago) always told us that seeking new knowledge and questioning Christianity is healthy in moderation. He said that it can lead to you becoming a stronger and more intelligent Christian. This thought appealed to me, so I put my nervous inhibitions aside and began to read the Qur'an.
Slowly, I began to fall in love with the concept of Islam. I was not ready to jump on board quite yet, though. I stopped going to church, because I decided that I would sit back and do some reading and praying and hope I would find the path. I hoped that if this was only a bump in the road that would somehow lead me back to Christianity, that God could forgive me for temporarily steering in the wrong direction.
So, I will tell everyone on this board what I am feeling. I am scared. I am so very scared. On one hand if I stay a Christian, and if Islam is the true religion of God, then I am committing a major sin by worshiping Jesus. On the other hand, if I revert (this is the correct term, and not convert?) to Islam, and Christianity is the true religion of God, I will be going to hell for not accepting Jesus as the son of God. Why else am I scared?
Any help people of this board could provide for me will be so greatly appreciated. I just ask that you do not bash me or make fun of my views.
I was raised Roman Catholic. My family and I attended church every Sunday, and also for other requirements such as the Holy Days of Obligation. I never questioned my religion when I was younger, or at least from what I can remember. During middle school and early high school years, we learned about stories in The Bible, and what they meant. We had to fulfill a certain amount of hours that dealt with service for the church and the community. In 11th grade, I received the Sacrament of Confirmation.
I continued to go to church every week, and to pray. I was not the strongest Christian out there, as I really did not read The Bible and try to understand difficult parts of scripture that were used as readings in church. I went to church, prayed, and tried to live a holy life.
Slightly off track here, but I met my best friend Kareem online about six years ago. He is a Muslim from Cairo, Egypt. At first we barely discussed religion. Sometimes we would have an audio or video chat on Skype and I would hear the call to prayer in the background. It somewhat interested me. I asked him a plethora of questions about Islam one day. He is not a scholar who studies Islam and other religions for a living, but he did know more than enough to explain certain aspects to me.
One day I figured that I would buy a copy of the Qur'an on Amazon, and read it in my free time. My old priest (had retired about four years ago) always told us that seeking new knowledge and questioning Christianity is healthy in moderation. He said that it can lead to you becoming a stronger and more intelligent Christian. This thought appealed to me, so I put my nervous inhibitions aside and began to read the Qur'an.
Slowly, I began to fall in love with the concept of Islam. I was not ready to jump on board quite yet, though. I stopped going to church, because I decided that I would sit back and do some reading and praying and hope I would find the path. I hoped that if this was only a bump in the road that would somehow lead me back to Christianity, that God could forgive me for temporarily steering in the wrong direction.
So, I will tell everyone on this board what I am feeling. I am scared. I am so very scared. On one hand if I stay a Christian, and if Islam is the true religion of God, then I am committing a major sin by worshiping Jesus. On the other hand, if I revert (this is the correct term, and not convert?) to Islam, and Christianity is the true religion of God, I will be going to hell for not accepting Jesus as the son of God. Why else am I scared?
- My entire family is Roman Catholic, with some extended relatives being other Christian denominations. Some may accept me but I would assume the majority would not. I have worked my entire life to make my family proud, and I do not want to ruin that.
- There is only one mosque I know about, and it is probably at least an hour away from here. That is no problem at all, though. I would just be scared. I do not know what to do. I wish I could meet with an Imam or Muslim Scholar that can sit down and discuss may different subjects with me. I am very worried to go there.
- This point might seem very selfish, but I am human. You see, I have Social Anxiety Disorder. Unfortunately, the number one thing people with SAD do is drink alcohol. I realize this is only creating two problems for myself instead of one, but in times that I need to socialize, this truly helps me. This is not to say I will get completely drunk, as that would go in the opposite direction. But it does help me. In Islam, alcohol is forbidden. I understand that, but I am scared. I have tried different medications but they make me feel so different from myself that I do not like it. Many will say that alcohol is doing the same thing, but I believe it helps me be who I want to be. SAD is not a made up disorder, it is something that does exist. People might say to not think the things I think in public, but the fact is that I, and people with SAD, simply cannot help it.
- If I did revert to Islam, I think the only relationship that would work out would be one with another Muslim. However, I feel as if I do not have anything to offer to a Muslim woman. Right now I am a senior in college and (to be honest) living off of daddy's money, hehe. Granted in a year, God willing, I will be applying for great jobs with benefits and a nice salary. However, I know many Muslim women like to marry Muslim men that have practiced Islam their entire life, so that the women can learn from him. That is what my pal Kareem told me, at least. So I am afraid no Muslim woman would want me.
- Along with the above, I could in no way have more than one wife. I feel that when you marry somebody, you kind of combine beings into one. I want to give my undivided attention and love to one woman, and not up to four. I understand that you need to be able to financially provide for all four of these women in order to be married to them, but the concept still does not feel right to me.
Any help people of this board could provide for me will be so greatly appreciated. I just ask that you do not bash me or make fun of my views.
