The Marriage Thread

Her in Holland theres also a trend going on atm. Boys and girls come to know eachother b4 marriage, get married and have huge expensive weddings and it lasts about 2 years and then they divorce again. Thats a real confirmation for me that marriage in the islamic way is the best way! And contact b4 marriage is no guarantee it will actually work out. Both parties marry for love and have different expectations about marriage. Results in discontent a long the way. When you marry someone b4 knowing him im sure that the love will die out and man an woman are asking themselves: why am I still married to him/her while the love died out? Within islamic marriages its the other way around. Man and woman do not know each other, get to know each other and the love between them grows. Theres no problem about the expectations cos they all have been discussed when the guy has come to ask for her hand and everything is been written down in a contract.

So..just how I think about it.
 
:sl:
exactly, i also that only reason of failure of most of love mariges... they are only willing to marry each other bcz they have expectation from each other....and u know when hopes comes to nothing, its make person bitter, 2ndly real life is bit tough....e.g for men bcz of financial pbm as now after marige he is not alone but had to support family, so all romance and feeling dies....for girls also to care babies, and if she in house then to do house works,,,its tough....so they lose temper....shortly... ISLAM IS THE BEST WAY OF LIFE.....
 
^^ But thats also the same in an islamic marriage. The stress is the same, the husband has the stress of taking care of the family financially. And the wife has to do so emotionally and physically, cooking food and being a support and stuff. Why is this different in a love marriage? Dont see that really.
 
can't an arranged marriage be a loving marriage ?!?!

i hate some terminologies :raging:
 
^True, im not saying that it cant be. But its not only based on love like those marriages that occur when knowing eachother b4 marriage and having contact and stuff. And after that they find out its not what they thought it would be. Usually they dont have any knowledge about rights and obligations as known within an islamic marriage.

★ηαѕιнα★;1300427 said:
Her in Holland theres also a trend going on atm. Boys and girls come to know eachother b4 marriage, get married and have huge expensive weddings and it lasts about 2 years and then they divorce again. Thats a real confirmation for me that marriage in the islamic way is the best way! And contact b4 marriage is no guarantee it will actually work out. Both parties marry for love and have different expectations about marriage. Results in discontent a long the way. When you marry someone b4 knowing him im sure that the love will die out and man an woman are asking themselves: why am I still married to him/her while the love died out? Within islamic marriages its the other way around. Man and woman do not know each other, get to know each other and the love between them grows. Theres no problem about the expectations cos they all have been discussed when the guy has come to ask for her hand and everything is been written down in a contract.

So..just how I think about it.
Click to expand...

See? So chill. ;D
 
Last edited:
not read the entire thread...

I'm not spending anything on my nikah inshaAllah.It's going to nikah only in the masjid and a simple mehr.

InshaAllah I'll persuade the future spouse to have a simple walimah also.

why waste cash on silly stuff?InshaAllah we can use the money as an investment for the future or go for hajj.:)
 
zana said:
very harsh............i would never use the word "slag" no matter what they are still muslim, my nieces are half english/white and my brother is seperated from there mum, she also is not a muslim but yet every day after school she drops my niece of to mosque which i dearly respect, and i believe that one day wen the time is write children will follow the path they choose, u cant only blame the non muslims nowadays harldy the muslims follow the right path. so calling someone a slag would not be accepted in my view as its not the country that makes a person bad. im from the uk but i can honestly say ive seen alot of people practice islam deeply here then in any other muslim country.
Click to expand...

In the brothers defence i think he was just talking generally about how women - non Muslims in the UK.....he was try to exemplify if you have an interfaith marriage and your wife (Christian or otherwise) gets custody of your children then your wife morals are usually more relaxed and hence your daughter could end up with a mentality of a "hood-rat or sket" which is very fashionable in the UK at the moment.
 
if you have sheer beauty and you are religous you deserve someone that has the same and if you are not good looking and you're religious then you deserve someone that has the same and so on.

many times i see people who are so unrealistic its funny :)
 
Last edited:
Re: 100 Premarital Questions

★ηαѕιнα★;1300358 said:
Dont think you should make a conversation with your future spouse like a cross hearing, can be intimedating to the other party. So leave the questonlist at home I would say. Unless you want to return to an empty house again ;D
Click to expand...

;D I hope you didn't think i was suggesting printing of all 100 questions and taking it with you the next time you meet a potential spouse.....that would be ludicrous ;D
 
Last edited:
Re: 100 Premarital Questions

★ηαѕιнα★;1300358 said:
Dont think you should make a conversation with your future spouse like a cross hearing, can be intimedating to the other party. So leave the questonlist at home I would say. Unless you want to return to an empty house again ;D



Whats a slag?
Click to expand...

I don't know....but it doesn't sound goodimsad
 
Re: 100 Premarital Questions

Italianguy said:
I don't know....but it doesn't sound goodimsad
Click to expand...

An individual who cares not for relationships beyond the realm of the sexual, these people sleep with many partners not caring about anything = Slag
 
Re: 100 Premarital Questions

S<Chowdhury said:
An individual who cares not for relationships beyond the realm of the sexual, these people sleep with many partners not caring about anything = Slag
Click to expand...

Sounds like you took that right out of the dictionary;D
 
Last edited:
zana said:
very harsh............i would never use the word "slag" no matter what they are still muslim, my nieces are half english/white and my brother is seperated from there mum, she also is not a muslim but yet every day after school she drops my niece of to mosque which i dearly respect, and i believe that one day wen the time is write children will follow the path they choose, u cant only blame the non muslims nowadays harldy the muslims follow the right path. so calling someone a slag would not be accepted in my view as its not the country that makes a person bad. im from the uk but i can honestly say ive seen alot of people practice islam deeply here then in any other muslim country.
Click to expand...

Excuse my language - I can't think of a better word to describe typical non-muslim girls in this country who're desperate to have haraam relationships and girls who also dress up like slags.

Where was I blaiming non muslims in general? I was blaiming the non muslim parent who now has custody of the children and is raising them as non muslims free to do whatever they want.
 
Most of you are making 'the marriage' sounds harder... lol :D

Just imagine for those who are reluctant to get married reading this thread... lol
 
Erm...This might be a silly question, but is the husband (or his family) the ones who pay the costs of waleemah? :X It'd better be so :raging:

syilla said:
Most of you are making 'the marriage' sounds harder... lol :D

Just imagine for those who are reluctant to get married reading this thread... lol
Click to expand...
Above all this there was no warning... imsad
 
_muslim_ said:
Erm...This might be a silly question, but is the husband (or his family) the ones who pay the costs of waleemah? :X It'd better be so :raging:
Click to expand...

It depends... which side is doing. But i'm sure the guys side will contribute a bit. But i think one waleemah is enough.. don't you think so ukhtee :)

_muslim_ said:
Above all this there was no warning... imsad
Click to expand...

aww...don't worry. Most of them are not married...and they are just exaggerating. :D
 
^Whats the difference between a nikah and waleemah? Heard that loads but still dunno what it means..

S<Chowdhury said:
;D I hope you didn't think i was suggesting printing of all 100 questions and taking it with you the next time you meet a potential spouse.....that would be ludicrous ;D
Click to expand...

Well actually I kinda did...thought you would use it yourself actually..sorry.
Pictured you sitting in the livingroom at you to be parents-in-law. With a questionlist a pen and some glasses on. Even havent taken the time to put your coat off. Running through the questionlist not taking the time to have some of the tea they made you and maybe a biscuit. Looking at your watch every now and then.
And pictured you getting kicked out of the house after 5 questions. With a shoe thrown at your head after (huge insult in arab countrys). So ;D Thats what I call a disastermeeting. Anyway thanks for clearing that up eey! :D

Italianguy said:
Sounds like you took that right out of the dictionary;D
Click to expand...

LOL. Thought the same! ;D

syilla said:
Most of you are making 'the marriage' sounds harder... lol :D

Just imagine for those who are reluctant to get married reading this thread... lol
Click to expand...

Well it aint easy as well so which is it then? Sis _muslim_ im sceared to death as well. You aint alone on this one. ;D
 
Last edited:
:sl:
someone previously posted marriage tips? i just want to add to be aware of insulting each other, even in a heated argument where angers will be flaring and you're most likely not aware of what you are saying. reason being is that the other can get extremely offended and hurt-even if you dont mean what you say- and as a result seeds of resentment and dislike for the other will be sown--->major negative impact on the relationship.
 
^^ Wanted to add to that this will also be the case when you use a weekness/shortcomings of the other against him/her. Like you know your wife is sensitive and you call her a crybaby. The other partner will never forget you said such a hurtfull thing for as long as she/he lives. Being in a relationship means you come to know everything about the other person. Even the stuff that will hurt him/her the most. Using this as ammo kills the love, trust en more stuff between you. Could also be seen as backstabbing.
 

Similar Threads

Back
Top