The Marriage Thread

[Asiyah3]

It depends... which side is doing. But i'm sure the guys side will contribute a bit. But i think one waleemah is enough.. don't you think so ukhtee

Yep I do Umm...How can one have more that one waleemah? hew

aww...don't worry. Most of them are not married...and they are just exaggerating.

What a relief!

 

[S<Chowdhury]

Erm...This might be a silly question, but is the husband (or his family) the ones who pay the costs of waleemah? :X It'd better be so :raging:

Hmmm in Bengali culture the Walima cost are payed by the Groom side :statisfie, not sure about other cultures though

 

[Asiyah3]

^In that case I know from where to search 'the one' :X

 

[zana]

Excuse my language - I can't think of a better word to describe typical non-muslim girls in this country who're desperate to have haraam relationships and girls who also dress up like slags.

Where was I blaiming non muslims in general? I was blaiming the non muslim parent who now has custody of the children and is raising them as non muslims free to do whatever they want.

i Just strongly disagree that u could blame another person for your behaviour

 

[S<Chowdhury]

Well actually I kinda did...thought you would use it yourself actually..sorry.
Pictured you sitting in the livingroom at you to be parents-in-law. With a questionlist a pen and some glasses on. Even havent taken the time to put your coat off. Running through the questionlist not taking the time to have some of the tea they made you and maybe a biscuit. Looking at your watch every now and then.
And pictured you getting kicked out of the house after 5 questions. With a shoe thrown at your head after (huge insult in arab countrys). So ;D Thats what I call a disastermeeting. Anyway thanks for clearing that up eey!

HAHA that would be a funny scenario if it ever did present itself...... ;D;D;D;

 

[zana]

^In that case I know from where to search 'the one' :X

Lol aint it the same tradition in most cultures?

 

[S<Chowdhury]

i Just strongly disagree that u could blame another person for your behaviour

I think what the brother is trying is if your daughter is being raised by a Christian here in the UK most likely there morals are different and as you don't have much influence over her anymore since your wife has custody then your daughter may grow up thinking that its okey to dress in such a manner etc

 

[Asiyah3]

^I don't really know... People don't usually talk about these stuff so...

 

[zana]

I think what the brother is trying is if your daughter is being raised by a Christian here in the UK most likely there morals are different and as you don't have much influence over her anymore since your wife has custody then your daughter may grow up thinking that its okey to dress in such a manner etc

But my nieces mum is english and shes not a muslim but yet everyday she brings my niece to the mosque some non muslims do have the respect

 

[zana]

^I don't really know... People don't usually talk about these stuff so...

Marriage is a complication altogether lol

 

[Asiyah3]

^I'll comment on this after I get married insha'llah

*2 years later:
Why didn't you warn me sis!!! :raging:*

 

[Cabdullahi]

SON! marriage is sweeeeeeet

 

[Asiyah3]

^You're not even married!

 

[S<Chowdhury]

But my nieces mum is english and shes not a muslim but yet everyday she brings my niece to the mosque some non muslims do have the respect

That could just one case though, yes there are some ^ as you said above that do respect the husbands religion even though they are separated, but in general from my opinion most British women think dressing like a slag/sket/hoodrat is fashion these days.......therefore if your mother is Christian and loose with morals its very easy for your daughter to be caught up in this let alone other things

 

[zana]

^I'll comment on this after I get married insha'llah

*2 years later:
Why didn't you warn me sis!!! :raging:*

lol u might marry before me so pass over all the info sis lol

 

[zana]

That could just one case though, yes there are some ^ as you said above that do respect the husbands religion even though they are separated, but in general from my opinion most British women think dressing like a slag/sket/hoodrat is fashion these days.......therefore if your mother is Christian and loose with morals its very easy for your daughter to be caught up in this let alone other things

Yeah but saying that u will find alot of muslims in the west dressing just the same so u cant even talk about the non muslims

 

[S<Chowdhury]

SON! marriage is sweeeeeeet

;D;D I hope your right LOL

 

[S<Chowdhury]

Yeah but saying that u will find alot of muslims in the west dressing just the same so u cant even talk about the non muslims

True say True say but that is one factor to consider though when marrying a women of different religion. I think we are moving away from the whole debate of dangers of Inter-faith Marriages and does it work though.

 

[zana]

True say True say but that is one factor to consider though when marrying a women of different religion. I think we are moving away from the whole debate of dangers of Inter-faith Marriages and does it work though.

its all down to fate :statisfie

 

[Insaanah]

^Whats the difference between a nikah and waleemah? Heard that loads but still dunno what it means..

Nikah is what legally (in Allah's eyes) makes you husband and wife, i.e. the process that marries you.

This happens with:

1) Mutual agreement (offer and acceptance or ijab-o-qubool) by the bride and the groom
2) Two sane adult witnesses
3) Mahr (marriage-gift) to be paid by the groom to the bride either immediately (muajjal) or deferred (muakhkhar), or a combination of both
4) Legal guardian (Wali) representing the bride
6) Someone to marry you.

Note that Islamically speaking, other than the husband paying his wife dowry, or the bride's parents giving her a few gifts for her new home if they wish, there is no other expense ore meal associated with nikah, such as hiring halls, inviting a hundred guests, photography etc. This is the day the parents give their daughter away, they are not expected to have to spend lots of money on top of that.

Public announcement of this is allowed in Islam by playing the duff (bangle-less tambourine) and with singing. (This activity happens only amongst the women, where no male can see or hear).

Waleemah - This is THE wedding feast. This is a stressed sunnah, and the strongest opinion is that it is obligatory. This takes place very soon after the nikah. It can be simple, and can have no meat if not afforded, but depends on the economic situation of the groom, as he pays for it totally (the bride's family have no part in the cost for this). If he can afford it, then obviously he can spend more on it. Family, friends, neighbours and the less well off should be invited.