Cheating

[EllyDicious]

- What would you do if your husband/wife cheated on you? Would you forgive them?
- Would you marry someone who has cheated a husband/wife/partner before?
- Have you ever been cheated / Did you ever cheat?

 

[PouringRain]

- What would you do if your husband/wife cheated on you? Would you forgive them?

I would forgive and move forward/ forget. If he was unrepentant and unwilling to stop then I would forgive, but end the marriage. Forgiving does not mean that you must allow yourself to be taken advantage of or walked all over.

- Would you marry someone who has cheated a husband/wife/partner before?

No.

- Have you ever been cheated / Did you ever cheat?

I have never cheated. I have been cheated on many times. I always forgave.

 

[EllyDicious]

I have never cheated. I have been cheated on many times. I always forgave.

Oh my God, howcome you would always forgive?? How could you stand that?? I don't want to imagine the suffering you must have been through!

If I were you, I'd leave him right away!

 

[aadil77]

Would you marry someone who has cheated a husband/wife/partner before?
- Have you ever been cheated / Did you ever cheat?

How would someone know if the person they're marrying has cheated on a partner before?
Why would anyone on this forum admit to cheating on someone before?

Islamically you're not meant to reveal you're sins, they're between you and Allah, so no one here should be revealing anything

 

[Missinglinks]

I would forgive and move forward/ forget. If he was unrepentant and unwilling to stop then I would forgive, but end the marriage. Forgiving does not mean that you must allow yourself to be taken advantage of or walked all over.



No.



I have never cheated. I have been cheated on many times. I always forgave.

here is a very beautiful story, it reminds me of what you said "always forgive"

it begins in the middle of the story, so I give you what happened before.
The man cheated her with the girl. The woman entered in when they "did it', but they didn't see her,
so she sneaked out, and she bear patience, and forgave him.. then the next day or so, she fired the maid and fooled her man.
see the movie for the end of the story! I really wish that your man becomes like this man due to you!

if you like, you can look up also the other parts, very beautiful serie... typ in the searchbar: Mahmoud Al Masry - Fornication

 

[EllyDicious]

So according to the video, the woman MUST sleep / have sex with her husband even if she doesn't want to?
Isn't it close to rape? So she MUST sleep with her husband unless she's very sick. What if she just doesn't want to sleep/have sex with her husband for not reason, why should angels curse her the next morning?
WOman is not not an object in function of her man. That is so unfair.

How would someone know if the person they're marrying has cheated on a partner before?
Why would anyone on this forum admit to cheating on someone before?

Islamically you're not meant to reveal you're sins, they're between you and Allah, so no one here should be revealing anything

I don't think there's anything wrong accepting a mistake and repent about that mistake. We all make mistake. If someone loves your for real, he'll tell you what he did in his past because he wants to be sincere and honest with you.
If you find it out from the others , then he may not be the man you thought he was.

Also, there's nothing wrong in telling what mistake you did . People need to talk to each other so there's no need in keeping that secret between you and God.

If you, aadil, had a wife ....wouldn't you prefer her to tell you the truth rather than hide it from you while you could find it from the others??
Don't you like honest people? Wouldn't you appreciate her sincerity.? People commit sins but if every sin was between you and God, then we wouldn't know each other for what they really were, but for what they appeared to be ... and this is not a good sign.

 

[جوري]

If I were you, I'd leave him right away!

Elly are you interested in what you have to say or what other people have to say?
pouring rain as far as I know isn't Muslim so you are not in fact 'liberating her' with your drive through psychology.

if you start a thread asking people's opinions please don't come a mocking and telling them 'if I were you I'd do such and such' especially in light of your pathetic blunders on the other thread where you in fact accused me of 'telling people what to do, when no where in my post have I offered anything but a personal experience!
you don't know anything about her relationships or what kind of person she is or the circumstance under which she should forgive or burn at the stake.
why don't you mature and cultivate your style a little before creating threads clearly very egocentric from where the rest of us can see and project less on threads that aren't created with you in mind!

all the best

 

[EllyDicious]

Elly are you interested in what you have to say or what other people have to say?
pouring rain as far as I know isn't Muslim so you are not in fact 'liberating her' with your drive through psychology.

I'm not Muslim so you can't claim from me to act like one.

if you start a thread asking people's opinions please don't come a mocking and telling them 'if I were you I'd do such and such' especially in light of your pathetic blunders on the other thread where you in fact accused me of 'telling people what to do, when no where in my post have I offered anything but a personal experience!
you don't know anything about her relationships or what kind of person she is or the circumstance under which she should forgive or burn at the stake.
why don't you mature and cultivate your style a little before creating threads clearly very egocentric from where the rest of us can see and project less on threads that aren't created with you in mind!

This is a discussion forum so I'm free to ask/give opinions whether you like it or not.
In difference from you, I didn't tell her "don't do this or that". I just said "If I were you, I'd do this" which is more of an opinion rather than telling her what to do.


I can clearly see that everyone here is afraid of thoughts that come from people who don't share the same religion.

 

[aadil77]

I don't think there's anything wrong accepting a mistake and repent about that mistake. We all make mistake. If someone loves your for real, he'll tell you what he did in his past because he wants to be sincere and honest with you.
If you find it out from the others , then he may not be the man you thought he was.

Also, there's nothing wrong in telling what mistake you did . People need to talk to each other so there's no need in keeping that secret between you and God.

If you, aadil, had a wife ....wouldn't you prefer her to tell you the truth rather than hide it from you while you could find it from the others??
Don't you like honest people? Wouldn't you appreciate her sincerity.? People commit sins but if every sin was between you and God, then we wouldn't know each other for what they really were, but for what they appeared to be ... and this is not a good sign.

In islam we aren't meant to degrade ourselves, yes you can accept what you did was wrong and repent but you keep it to yourself. I don't think anyone would want to know their wifes past, it will only create more problems, you can't ask someone about their sins - its like how some people want to know if the person they're marrying is still a virgin, would you like to be faced with such questions, even if you've have never had any haraam relationships?

When you're marryin someone you should judge them on their character and piety, from this you'll get a basic understanding whether the person is the type to sleep around with others. Although you'll never be sure if they've had a bad past cause they might have changed, but if they repented and changed its none of your business to go round enquiring about their sins

 

[Cabdullahi]

So according to the video, the woman MUST sleep / have sex with her husband even if she doesn't want to?
Isn't it close to rape? So she MUST sleep with her husband unless she's very sick. What if she just doesn't want to sleep/have sex with her husband for not reason,

If you love your husband why would you refuse him sex for no reason, it seems illogical ? why would you starve him.....would you rather entertain him or have him [Mod: edit]

 

[EllyDicious]

In islam we aren't meant to degrade ourselves, yes you can accept what you did was wrong and repent but you keep it to yourself. I don't think anyone would want to know their wifes past, it will only create more problems,

So you don't want to know if your wife slept around with other men?
You prefer to live in a marriage full of lies?

Nice.

 

[EllyDicious]

If you love your husband why would you refuse him sex for no reason, it seems illogical ? why would you starve him.....would you rather entertain him or have him

Also, the wife can be tired..it's normal. She could simply refuse her husband for one night. I don't think that's a big deal.

 

[جوري]

I'm not Muslim so you can't claim from me to act like one.

This makes no grammatical nor cohesive sense to the subject at hand!
I never accused you of being a Muslim and it is something that I am thankful for, for each Muslim is a representative of the religion and I certainly would be ashamed to have you represent us!

This is a discussion forum so I'm free to ask/give opinions whether you like it or not.

Indeed but it also makes you a hypocrite give your various diatribe all throughout this forum!

In difference from you, I didn't tell her "don't do this or that". I just said "If I were you, I'd do this" which is more of an opinion rather than telling her what to do.

rearrangement of words doesn't change the condescension merely the phraseology!

I can clearly see that everyone here is afraid of thoughts that come from people who don't share the same religion.

No, no one is afraid of 'thoughts that come from people who don't share the same religion' people are annoyed with your puerile jabs and ill-conceived mal-formed opinions which you for some reason seem to mistake for something other than idiotic braying of a bruised ego who is unable to defend her stance on with substance and sees fit to peddle the same tired line and pretentious humbug from last night's thirty minute sudser!

all the best

 

[CosmicPathos]

In islam we aren't meant to degrade ourselves, yes you can accept what you did was wrong and repent but you keep it to yourself. I don't think anyone would want to know their wifes past, it will only create more problems, you can't ask someone about their sins - its like how some people want to know if the person they're marrying is still a virgin, would you like to be faced with such questions, even if you've have never had any haraam relationships?

When you're marryin someone you should judge them on their character and piety, from this you'll get a basic understanding whether the person is the type to sleep around with others. Although you'll never be sure if they've had a bad past cause they might have changed, but if they repented and changed its none of your business to go round enquiring about their sins

bro, I hope this is not off topic. But I read somewhere that it is perfectly Islamic to ask the other person, in presence of mahram, if he/she is virgin or not. If a husband was told that her wife is a virgin, or vice versa, and after marriage it was shown that he/she is not, the other person is justified in asking for divorce. Please correct me if my understanding of Islamic ruling on this is wrong.

 

[EllyDicious]

Also, I forgot to ask, what are the consequences [in Islam], of a cheating partner?

 

[aadil77]

Also, I forgot to ask, what are the consequences [in Islam], of a cheating partner?

you get stoned to death

 

[PouringRain]

Oh my God, howcome you would always forgive?? How could you stand that?? I don't want to imagine the suffering you must have been through!

If I were you, I'd leave him right away!

I am divorced. Forgiveness is important not only for the other person, but also for ourselves. When we forgive, we release the poisonous thing. To hold a grudge and harbor ill for another is like a poison to the body and the mind. When you release it and forgive another then you have gained freedom. When you forgive another you have also released them from their burden. This does not mean that they are not held accountable for their sin or that you should allow the person to take advantage of you. Only God can forgive them of their sin and wipe it away.

How could I forgive? Because I can. I can not control the actions of another. I can only control my own response to those actions and my own attiude towards it. Forgiveness acknowledges that he sinned and he is human, but that I am not going to hold it against him because to me the marriage is more important than the sin. If the sin continues and he is unrepentant and unwilling to change, then I am free to divorce him... and for me, I did. Still, I forgive him. He will account for his sins before God.

How would someone know if the person they're marrying has cheated on a partner before?
Why would anyone on this forum admit to cheating on someone before?

Islamically you're not meant to reveal you're sins, they're between you and Allah, so no one here should be revealing anything

I don't know that someone would confess to cheating either. I think that I have only met one man in my lifetime who said to me that his marriage ended because he messed up and cheated. When he confessed it there was no pride in his voice or manner, but there was shame and regret. I thought it was admirable that he confessed and I had a lot of respect for him for owning up to his sin. No one is obligated to confess their sins to man (except maybe in Cahtolicism?), but to me I find it admirable when someone can admit to their wrong and move past it, as opposed to lying about it. A cheater rarely even admits it to his/her spouse. Those who do are often the ones who also repent before God and never do it again. (Unless their confession is in pride and intended to harm the other.)

here is a very beautiful story, it reminds me of what you said "always forgive"

it begins in the middle of the story, so I give you what happened before.
The man cheated her with the girl. The woman entered in when they "did it', but they didn't see her,
so she sneaked out, and she bear patience, and forgave him.. then the next day or so, she fired the maid and fooled her man.
see the movie for the end of the story! I really wish that your man becomes like this man due to you!

Thanks for sharing that. That was very funny.

So according to the video, the woman MUST sleep / have sex with her husband even if she doesn't want to?
Isn't it close to rape? So she MUST sleep with her husband unless she's very sick. What if she just doesn't want to sleep/have sex with her husband for not reason, why should angels curse her the next morning?
WOman is not not an object in function of her man. That is so unfair.

I knwo this question is really a whole different topic on its own, but I don't believe a wife should withhold from her husband either. To be honest, in a loving marriage I don't know that a wife would want to withhold from her husband. LOL

Elly are you interested in what you have to say or what other people have to say?
pouring rain as far as I know isn't Muslim so you are not in fact 'liberating her' with your drive through psychology.

You are right, I am not a Muslim. You changed yoru username. I recognized your signature.

 

[جوري]

bro, I hope this is not off topic. But I read somewhere that it is perfectly Islamic to ask the other person, in presence of mahram, if he/she is virgin or not. If a husband was told that her wife is a virgin, or vice versa, and after marriage it was shown that he/she is not, the other person is justified in asking for divorce. Please correct me if my understanding of Islamic ruling on this is wrong.

you really have no way of knowing whether someone is a virgin or not after marriage.. yes I am aware of all the blah blahs about hymens and whatnot when you finish medicine you'll come up with a different understanding of that!

so as br. said it will have to come down to trust.. do you trust the person you are marrying or not, also considering that there is such a thing as 'V rejuvenation' thirty minute procedure that practically every woman who has had three kids or more seems to want to have to put the spark back in her life for three more!

 

[Alpha Dude]

So according to the video, the woman MUST sleep / have sex with her husband even if she doesn't want to?
Isn't it close to rape? So she MUST sleep with her husband unless she's very sick. What if she just doesn't want to sleep/have sex with her husband for not reason, why should angels curse her the next morning?
WOman is not not an object in function of her man. That is so unfair.

According to Islam, both men and women have rights upon each other and respective duties to perform within a marriage.

A husband is obliged to provide for his wife. A wife is obliged fulfil her husband's desires. If the couple were muslim and they wholeheartedly subscribed to the religion of Islam, then they would see it as worship to fulfil these duties and sinworthy not to.

Purely from a practical perspective, men are lustful creatures and they need to satiate their desires and fact is, if they didn't get it from the wife, they will start looking at others with lust (even looking is sinful).

Given that you think it's unfair for a wife to have to fulfil one of her rights, how about if a man just didn't want to fulfil one of his duties and provide for his wife? With no particular reason, he just didn't care to give her any food or money out of his pocket? Isn't it extortion that he has to provide?

So I hope you see that you need to look at this issue a little more holistically, where each member has certain duties to keep to and any neglect on the part of either of them is grounds for marital disharmony.

Also, there's nothing wrong in telling what mistake you did . People need to talk to each other so there's no need in keeping that secret between you and God.

Keeping our sins to ourselves is a means of keeping society on the whole clean from sin.

Consider the impact of everyone going about discussing all their sins. It would desensitize us. We see one too many people doing a particular sin and we'll end up believing that the sin isn't that big a deal afterall. The gravity of the sin will lesson in our eyes.

So there really is a practical purpose to keeping what Allah has kept hidden, hidden.

 

[Alpha Dude]

I knwo this question is really a whole different topic on its own, but I don't believe a wife should withhold from her husband either. To be honest, in a loving marriage I don't know that a wife would want to withhold from her husband. LOL

Exactly! The only reason I can think of why a woman would withhold is as a selfish display of feminism and shallow assertion of 'power'.