Marriage and Age.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

can this thread just be trashed already. its useless as these things have been discussed over and over (and over) again... its getting stale. if you want answers, just plug it in the search option.

 

[S_87]

I'd be curious to know what Muslims think it would be the best age/time to get married

whenever the person is ready

- Should there be any age difference between partners? Does it matter to you, personally?

again it depends on each individual and their preference

- Is it true that Muhammad married a 9 year old girl?

yes

- Is it prohibited for Muslim men to get married to underage girls or the other way around?

what do u consider 'underage'

It wasn't that different given that Muhammad didn't go to live with her right away. They didn't have sexual intercourse since the beginning of their marriage. Muhammad would still play with toys and do things a parent does with the child.
So at the beginning he was behaving as a parent rather than a partner.

Which shows, 9 year olds at that time weren't that different from the 9 y.olds of today.

wrong. if you check on your ancestors youll probably see that they were married at an age that youd still consider 'child like'....around 10? so whats your point? you know better because............?


oh btw, i still play with toys and im no kid

 

[EllyDicious]

what do u consider 'underage'

Don't you guys have a legal age when you are considered 'mature'?
For example, here in Albania, people are not allowed to get married under 18. [except in special cases when the girl is pregnant].

wrong. if you check on your ancestors youll probably see that they were married at an age that youd still consider 'child like'....around 10?

I've never heard anyone getting married around 10. The only story is that of Muhammad's.
I've heard people getting married at 16 and/or above. Anyway, that doesn't really matter .
Though you can't deny that being 10 means you're still a child and doesn't matter if you and I think the opposite.

oh btw, i still play with toys and im no kid

We all are kids inside and sometimes we love being/acting like kids ...but we can't call ourselves kids because we've grown older and we have other more important things in life than just acting like kids.
But you can't compare yourself with a 10 year old , even if you play with toys.
A 10 year old [whether he/she with toys or not] is still a kid .... even if they get married ... they are and will be considered kids. It's something you can't deny.

 

[aadil77]

Don't you guys have a legal age when you are considered 'mature'?
For example, here in Albania, people are not allowed to get married under 18. [except in special cases when the girl is pregnant].

Not everyone matures at the same age so you can put a limit on it

I've never heard anyone getting married around 10. The only story is that of Muhammad's.
I've heard people getting married at 16 and/or above. Anyway, that doesn't really matter .
Though you can't deny that being 10 means you're still a child and doesn't matter if you and I think the opposite.

you've never heard of 10/11 year olds getting girls pregnant?

........................................................

 

[omar ibrahim]

Don't you guys have a legal age when you are considered 'mature'?there is no specific age in islam itself it depends to the person.

For example, here in Albania, people are not allowed to get married under 18. [except in special cases when the girl is pregnant].

good to know that ^^



I've never heard anyone getting married around 10. The only story is that of Muhammad's.
I've heard people getting married at 16 and/or above. Anyway, that doesn't really matter .
Though you can't deny that being 10 means you're still a child and doesn't matter if you and I think the opposite.


its something wich is in tradition to get married in early age even today you see some men married at the age of 17 and girls at the age of 14 but its not common,and other thing you cant compare a marriage that took place 1400 years ago.i am talking about saudi arabia

We all are kids inside and sometimes we love being/acting like kids ...but we can't call ourselves kids because we've grown older and we have other more important things in life than just acting like kids.

I agree ^^


But you can't compare yourself with a 10 year old , even if you play with toys.
A 10 year old [whether he/she with toys or not] is still a kid .... even if they get married ... they are and will be considered kids. It's something you can't deny.

they will be considered as kids in your law and you can not deny it but in islamic low there is no specific age as i told you again and again ^^ once a person has an ability to have children he or she is no longer a kid

i will explain the sings of the age of bloog where a person is no longer a kid

for a woman
when the chest is grow and the voice start to change when the hair grow in some places i forgot the rest ^^

for a man

when the voice changes when the hair grow in some places...etc

 

[Beardo]

Well, in America, you can get married before 18 if you have parental permission. I don't know why people overlook that and say "Oh well, they promote pre-marital relations and won't let them marry young." That's a false statement. Alhamdulillah, Americans have a lot of rights.

 

[EllyDicious]

you've never heard of 10/11 year olds getting girls pregnant?.

Of course I've heard.
But I said I've never heard of 10 year olds getting married. So I was referring to marriage and not pregnancy and these are not related to each other.[at least outside Islam].

 

[cat eyes]

Of course I've heard.
But I said I've never heard of 10 year olds getting married. So I was referring to marriage and not pregnancy and these are not related to each other.[at least outside Islam].

if a 10 year old reaches puberty shes a child no longer. mentally she might be a child but her body is going through changes. sister my advice to you is look at the age limits on every country not only your own. p.s i still love toys too

 

[EllyDicious]

lololololol LOVELY CAT!!!! is it you or your cat ?

how cute!

 

[tango92]

if kids below puberty have sexual intercourse theyre pretty much traumatized and scarred for life. but in the case of Aisha, she was a leader of armies after the prophet and never once spoke a word against him even after his death. the stories of their marriage are also very loving. this doesnt sound like a person who was married before being ready.

 

[S_87]

Don't you guys have a legal age when you are considered 'mature'?
For example, here in Albania, people are not allowed to get married under 18. [except in special cases when the girl is pregnant].

so how did the girl get pregnant? and there is no sex without marriage.
in the UK girls have having kids as young as 12, sure they cant get married but they are still sexually active. so is 18 when girls in albania mature? for real?

I've never heard anyone getting married around 10. The only story is that of Muhammad's.
I've heard people getting married at 16 and/or above. Anyway, that doesn't really matter .
Though you can't deny that being 10 means you're still a child and doesn't matter if you and I think the opposite

oh well my own gran got married at 13 which was a pretty average age. so yeh i can believe...plus if you check in rural villages in asia/africa youll see the age for marriage is MUCH younger than 16.

We all are kids inside and sometimes we love being/acting like kids ...but we can't call ourselves kids because we've grown older and we have other more important things in life than just acting like kids.
But you can't compare yourself with a 10 year old , even if you play with toys.
A 10 year old [whether he/she with toys or not] is still a kid .... even if they get married ... they are and will be considered kids. It's something you can't deny.

1400 years ago i dont know what a 10 year old was like and neither did you. did you know aisha radhiallahu anha was helping in battles? at what age? an age girls today could not do it. do you know her history? did you know that she is the one that Allah defended in the Quran? what age was she then? an age most girls wouldnt be married?did you know she was a great scholar of islam having lost her husband-her teacher at 18? how many 18 year olds can say that for today?
so yes she was young but whats your point exactly? who are YOU to judge age

Of course I've heard.
But I said I've never heard of 10 year olds getting married. So I was referring to marriage and not pregnancy and these are not related to each other.[at least outside Islam].

EXACTLY. youre talking outsdie islam we are talking within. marriage is a honourable and noble thing, a thing that protects the woman when she DOES get pregnant and doesnt leave her as a single mother which if you looked in the west 99.9% of those PREGNANT (so they were mature enough to have sex right??) are single mothers because the fathers bailed. so they are mature enough to have kids and raise them alone but not mature enough to have a husband to look after and share the responsibility? i love that logic

 

[EllyDicious]

so how did the girl get pregnant? and there is no sex without marriage.
in the UK girls have having kids as young as 12, sure they cant get married but they are still sexually active. so is 18 when girls in albania mature? for real?

No. I didn't say they are biologically mature. I meant they are legally mature. And before being legally mature, you are not allowed to get married, over there.

oh well my own gran got married at 13 which was a pretty average age. so yeh i can believe...plus if you check in rural villages in asia/africa youll see the age for marriage is MUCH younger than 16.

That's the way it used to be in ALbania many years ago. That's because of the mentality that was at that time. Women weren't allowed to go to school, but they had to raise kids and stay home.

1400 years ago i dont know what a 10 year old was like and neither did you. did you know aisha radhiallahu anha was helping in battles? at what age? an age girls today could not do it. do you know her history? did you know that she is the one that Allah defended in the Quran? what age was she then? an age most girls wouldnt be married?did you know she was a great scholar of islam having lost her husband-her teacher at 18? how many 18 year olds can say that for today?
so yes she was young but whats your point exactly? who are YOU to judge age

I'm not judging age, I was asking questions...age related to know more about the way these things work for Islam.
And just because there was a girl called Aisha who was very young and helping in battles, doesn't exclude the fact that at her age kids nowadays don't do even the quarter of what she did at that time.
She was an exception. I'm talking about general things.

EXACTLY. youre talking outsdie islam we are talking within. marriage is a honourable and noble thing, a thing that protects the woman when she DOES get pregnant and doesnt leave her as a single mother which if you looked in the west 99.9% of those PREGNANT (so they were mature enough to have sex right??) are single mothers because the fathers bailed. so they are mature enough to have kids and raise them alone but not mature enough to have a husband to look after and share the responsibility? i love that logic

What are you talking about ? I didn't say they are not mature enough to have a husband. Actually, I'd say the other thing. A 15 year old girl can be mature enough to have husband but not mature enough to have kids. [I'm talking in general]. Because she's a kid herself. So it's strange that a kid is raising a kid.

But I think to each their own.

 

[جوري]

No. I didn't say they are biologically mature. I meant they are legally mature. And before being legally mature, you are not allowed to get married, over there.

what is legal by your standards if there is in fact no consensus on such an issue.. what is legal in Spain is statutory rape in Italy.. should we induct the 'dicisous' code of legality for this thread to make better sense? funny stuff

That's the way it used to be in ALbania many years ago. That's because of the mentality that was at that time. Women weren't allowed to go to school, but they had to raise kids and stay home.

what mentality is that? many years ago you were under atheist rule!

I'm not judging age, I was asking questions...age related to know more about the way these things work for Islam.

and that has been amply answered by the first post back. The criteria for marriage in Islam
is financial, biological and psychological maturity.. does it pay repeating?

And just because there was a girl called Aisha who was very young and helping in battles, doesn't exclude the fact that at her age kids nowadays don't do even the quarter of what she did at that time.
She was an exception. I'm talking about general things.

and generally I think the topic has been beaten to death, I am not sure where you keep finding morsels on the bones to chew on some more!

What are you talking about ? I didn't say they are not mature enough to have a husband. Actually, I'd say the other thing. A 15 year old girl can be mature enough to have husband but not mature enough to have kids. [I'm talking in general]. Because she's a kid herself. So it's strange that a kid is raising a kid.

If you are mature enough to screw around then you should be mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come with it. That is why Marriage is lawful and fooling around is not.. surely when you set the bar so low that everyone can have you for free no one is going to care if you end up knocked up at 15 kid or not!

But I think to each their own.

Indeed and you are certainly a class all your own!

 

[GuCcI]

It wasn't that different given that Muhammad didn't go to live with her right away. They didn't have sexual intercourse since the beginning of their marriage. Muhammad would still play with toys and do things a parent does with the child.
So at the beginning he was behaving as a parent rather than a partner.

Which shows, 9 year olds at that time weren't that different from the 9 y.olds of today.

That is one huge leap you made. It does not show that. What it shows is that he was caring, devoted, and loving to make her feel safe and secure, to create a bond between them before proceeding to physical intimacy.
Her level of maturity and emotional and intellectual growth shows that 9 yr olds are very different from then and today. 9 year olds back then were taking care of their families and households. 9 year olds today still can barely make their own beds.

 

[EllyDicious]

what mentality is that? many years ago you were under atheist rule!

It's not related to the fact that we were under atheist rule. That's the way it used to work for families at that time. Whether you believe it or not.

and generally I think the topic has been beaten to death, I am not sure where you keep finding morsels on the bones to chew on some more!

If you think this thread has been answered, you're free to never come back and post again. I will keep on discussing whether you like it or not.

If you are mature enough to screw around then you should be mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come with it.

.
Those who actually screw around are not able to understand the consequences and responsibilities that come with it.
If they were mature enough, they wouldn't screw around, at all.[/QUOTE]

 

[جوري]

It's not related to the fact that we were under atheist rule. That's the way it used to work for families at that time. Whether you believe it or not.

Whatever it is related to, is inconsequential in the scheme of things

If you think this thread has been answered, you're free to never come back and post again. I will keep on discussing whether you like it or not.

I too am free to point out your repeated short comings, and your inability to comprehend the written word, if for nothing else, but pure entertainment!


.

Those who actually screw around are not able to understand the consequences and responsibilities that come with it.
If they were mature enough, they wouldn't screw around, at all

Why don't you instate a law sterilizing all those you deem young in your neck of the wood? I think that would be a good start instead of bugging the crap out of the rest of us with your insta. made morality?

all the best

 

[EllyDicious]

Whatever it is related to, is inconsequential in the scheme of things

If you think so, I'll leave you with that.
Don't really have much time to waste.

I too am free to point out your repeated short comings, and your inability to comprehend the written word, if for nothing else, but pure entertainment!

I'm glad to be effective for good.

Why don't you instate a law sterilizing all those you deem young in your neck of the wood? I think that would be a good start instead of bugging the crap out of the rest of us with your insta. made morality?

Did I bug you?
I'm glad to be effective for bad

Now, I think It's time to ignore you.

 

[Asiyah3]

Edit:

I wouldn't bother answering anymore, she doesn't take the time to read, but always has something snide and ill-fitting to say!

:wa::
Advice highly appreciated. Jazakiallah.

 

[جوري]

If you think so, I'll leave you with that.
Don't really have much time to waste.

Yet here you are wasting everyone's time and yours on repeated questions and fatuous assertions..

I'm glad to be effective for good.

Are you effective? mildly amusing would be a more adequate description..

Did I bug you?
I'm glad to be effective for bad

You tell yourself whatever you need to foster yourself esteem!

Now, I think It's time to ignore you.

Yeah, you do that!

all the best

 

[جوري]

Edit:


:wa::
Advice highly appreciated. Jazakiallah.

My pleasure let me put the sign about her stench up so everyone can evacuate!