Advising friends or Not?

[paradise88]

I have a friends (muslim) she doesn't wear a hijab (scarf) but she does when she goes to work every Sunday because her uncle will be annoyed. However non of her sisters wear a headscarf etc either so it seems normal for them not to wear it i guess.

My friend wore it twice to uni, once in first year and second time a few weeks ago because she had work straight after. I didnt say anything and my other friend told me not to say anything as it is between Allah and her and that its up to her. I wasnt going to force her to wear it, i was just going to explain how that is not very islamic. Surely covering up is to please Allah and not her uncle. She is a wonderful girl and has told me her mums a mosque teacher etc and understands islam well.

I dont want to sound bad to apologies if what i said sounds bad.. i just want to know do i have the duty to advise her to wear it and that she shouldnt just for her uncle on sunday.. or should i butt out and leave it to her like my other friend suggested it? Hope my query is clear..

:wa:

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

I have a friends (muslim) she doesn't wear a hijab (scarf) but she does when she goes to work every Sunday because her uncle will be annoyed. However non of her sisters wear a headscarf etc either so it seems normal for them not to wear it i guess.

My friend wore it twice to uni, once in first year and second time a few weeks ago because she had work straight after. I didnt say anything and my other friend told me not to say anything as it is between Allah and her and that its up to her. I wasnt going to force her to wear it, i was just going to explain how that is not very islamic. Surely covering up is to please Allah and not her uncle. She is a wonderful girl and has told me her mums a mosque teacher etc and understands islam well.

I dont want to sound bad to apologies if what i said sounds bad.. i just want to know do i have the duty to advise her to wear it and that she shouldnt just for her uncle on sunday.. or should i butt out and leave it to her like my other friend suggested it? Hope my query is clear..

:wa:

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, enjoining good and forbidding evil is the duty for all Muslims. We should first start our dawah at home and then extend it to relatives, friends and other people who we come across in life when we are able to give them dawah. It may be that if we do not give dawah then on the day of judgement those people may attest to Allah that we knew the truth but we did not inform them. Also the best speech is the speech of the person who gives dawah and invites to the way of Allah.

What you should do is to give her dawah in the most beautiful of manners using wisdom and tact and also give her marterial pertaining to the importance of hijaab aswell as about death and the hereafter. This will make her realise of the importance of hijaab and to also put fear into her heart that we can go at anytime so putting some urgency into her to fulfil her obligation to Allah. Once you have informed her and given her material then you have fulfilled your duty. Then it is upto her. You can mention it to her now and again but not too often as it will go in one ear and come out of the other and repeating something too much will take away the good effects of dawah.

You can also send her weekly Islamic texts and e mails which are quite effective and also talk to her about Islam. Never get frustrated if she does not take heed for guidance is not in your hands it is in Allah's. Also make dua for her as much as you can that Allah makes her realise that she must cover and fulfil her obligations.

Here are some very beneficial levtures which you can make her listen to to increase her imaan and fear of Allah:


Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 1/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieX7ZQtHl0s

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 2/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_2sVGMW08

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 3/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpmzA2hk1Bo

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 4/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km39GfL62TQ

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - The Journey of the Soul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAwHEXE3-n0


HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc


Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE

Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo

How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg[/QUOTE]




and Allah knows best in all matters

 

[paradise88]

Thank You Hamza Brother for replying, i find ur advice easy to understand and thank u soo much for the links, i think i will benefit from them too inshallah. I mean i do talk about Islam with her and she says shes always going to the mosque but i am trying to make her understand that u cant just pick certain bits to follow. Also i guess ur right about giving dawah to family friends etc because i have an english white friend and i talk to her about islam so much that she even considered wanting to eat halal meat, she even asked me why do people wear hijabs n half cover the hair she understood its pointless, if ur going to wear it then u wear it properly.

I think being born muslims people assume they know everything, they probably do know alot the problem is putting it into practice. I crave to hang out n socialise with practising muslims, but i dont know of any, i live in a place where people arent practising and also not many muslims. My friend i was referring to lives in another city.

My last little query, I have cousins who also arent practising should i just continue to send them islamic texts emails etc invite them to the mosque for discussions even if they say no? A lot of people think im extreme for doing this but i dont want to be held accountable for not spreading the message, i hope u can understand where im coming from..

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Thank You Hamza Brother for replying, i find ur advice easy to understand and thank u soo much for the links, i think i will benefit from them too inshallah. I mean i do talk about Islam with her and she says shes always going to the mosque but i am trying to make her understand that u cant just pick certain bits to follow. Also i guess ur right about giving dawah to family friends etc because i have an english white friend and i talk to her about islam so much that she even considered wanting to eat halal meat, she even asked me why do people wear hijabs n half cover the hair she understood its pointless, if ur going to wear it then u wear it properly.

I think being born muslims people assume they know everything, they probably do know alot the problem is putting it into practice. I crave to hang out n socialise with practising muslims, but i dont know of any, i live in a place where people arent practising and also not many muslims. My friend i was referring to lives in another city.

My last little query, I have cousins who also arent practising should i just continue to send them islamic texts emails etc invite them to the mosque for discussions even if they say no? A lot of people think im extreme for doing this but i dont want to be held accountable for not spreading the message, i hope u can understand where im coming from..

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, once your friend as the correct knowledge as to why the hijaab is fard upon her as well as what will happen if she goes against the commands of Allah then inshallah she will realise that she must wear it and she will have some fear of Allah in her heart. If she still does not take heed then you have done the best you can do and guidance is not in your hands. The same applies to your cousins and family you can only invite them towards Allah in a beautiful manner using wisdom and tact. Be the best example to them and the best towards them but firm against going against the commands of Allah. If someone implies your extreme then be proud that you are following the commands of Allah and say to them is following the commands of Allah extreme? If so then i am an extremist.

Continue to send them weekly Islamic texts and e mails and give them dawah verbally only now and again as doing it too often will take away the effectiveness of dawah and it will end up going in one ear and coming out of the other. Concentrate on trying to put the fear of Allah into their hearts by sending them reminders of death, the grave and the hereafter aswell as how reliant we are on Allah and remid them about the greatness of Allah often as well as how short our time is on this earth.

Make dua for them as much as you can that Allah gives them guidance. You should try to involve yourself as much as you can with local pious sisters in halaqas, talks, programmes, charity work and helping lcoal sisters, dawah etc and if it is not possible then at least keep friends who have a good nature and character and do not commit major sins like going out with boys, drinking, taking drugs and keep away from those that gossip, backbite, slander, create friction amongst others, talk abouts boys etc. as their influence wil rub off on you eventually as we are who our friends are.

It is good to have concern for our brothers and sisters especially if they are in the wrong path but also realise you can only do the best you can and the rest is upto Allah so make much dua for them especially around Tahajjud time but know that the rest is upto Allah. Make the best of your time in pleasing Allah and worshipping him and get as close to him as you can. Fear him but also have hope in him. Desire to be close to him and desire the day you meet him. love Allah first then rasulallah (Pbuh) more than yourself and anyone else and try your best to live your life how Allah wants you to live your life and if trials come then bare with patience for Allah tests those he wants closest to him. Remember Allah no matter what you do and repent as much as you can. Allah loveth repentance and those who ask of him in dua. Remember me in your dua also.

and Allah knows best in all matters