Would u live with such a man?

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Insecured soul

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Ass salam alaikum, im actually posting for someone and just get better understanding of it

one of my friend was married to a guy and its been only 6 months and thier marriage is not going well

she told me that he slapped her and controls her life too much

she is thinking of giving divorce

so i want to know the islamic ruling on such things? can a husband slaps her wife? i guess not

btw she wasnt seeing anyone else if that thought comes to ur mind, it was just an argument and she ended up having a slap on her cheek.

and to all sisters out there who are married would u live with a man who slaps u?
 
wa alaykum us-Salaam
weird weird concepts some people have of marriage these days.

its best you speak to your friend about his behavior- whacking anyone on the face is not on.

as for the divorce, take this matter to an imam.

why is this sister talking to you btw?
 
Wa alaykum salam,
she is thinking of giving divorce
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I thought only men were able to give divorce. o_O

I think this girl needs to get some imams involved in this matter. Also, it us not up to us as outsiders to judge events that go on in a household. We only know one side of the story anyway. It is better you withheld your judgement too. Also, stop talking to her. I think it is highly inappropriate of your friend to go about talking to other guys and seeing them as friends (to the extent that she gives personal info like the above), especially when married. So if the kind of freedom she is after is where she is allowed to talk to guys etc, then the husband is completely right to stop her.
 
Domestive violence exists unfortunately, when something similar happened to some 1 in my family, as soon as he laid a finger on her she was out of there, sometimes if you don't put a shock in the person they think they can get away with it and then they do it over and over. So you have to put a stop to it from the very first time it happens cos it could escalate into something that happens on a regular basis.

After a while the person in my family went back and he never laid another hand on her. but sometimes they never change and they keep hitting it depends on the people really. But physically abusing a woman isn't on. Got away with it once, can get away with it again kind of mentality exists in some people.
 
Ummu Sufyaan said:
wa alaykum us-Salaam
weird weird concepts some people have of marriage these days.

its best you speak to your friend about his behavior- whacking anyone on the face is not on.

as for the divorce, take this matter to an imam.

why is this sister talking to you btw?
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are u a sister too?
then u shouldnt be talking here too
i think muslims sometimes become too extreme
and btw i didnt meet her personally since years its only she sent me an email
i thought probably il find out whats the best way out of this and tell her and now i think i should just tel her to sort it out within her family itself

thanks anyway guys

salaam alaikum
 
Alpha Dude said:
I think it is highly inappropriate of your friend to go about talking to other guys and seeing them as friends (to the extent that she gives personal info like the above)
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I agree with the above.
Is it possible the slap was a one off and he apologised? You can't judge unless you know the story from his side too.

Maybe he was telling her a joke... "What did the five fingers say to the face?" SLAP ;) cooold bloooodded... bang bang!
 
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Dagless said:
Maybe he was telling her a joke... "What did the five fingers say to the face?" SLAP ;) cooold bloooodded... bang bang!
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lol! then let her play the same game with her husband...hmmm?!

Brother Adib Shaikh,
Aren't the family members doing anything about it? Aren't they trying to make their relations better?

Then no choice is left but to ask for "Khula", unless the husband apologies...

+ i agree with this too,

Alpha Dude said:
Wa alaykum salam,I thought only men were able to give divorce. o_O

I think this girl needs to get some imams invAolved in this matter. Also, it us not up to us as outsiders to judge events that go on in a household. We only know one side of the story anyway. It is better you withheld your judgement too. Also, stop talking to her. I think it is highly inappropriate of your friend to go about talking to other guys and seeing them as friends (to the extent that she gives personal info like the above), especially when married. So if the kind of freedom she is after is where she is allowed to talk to guys etc, then the husband is completely right to stop her.
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Adib Shaikh said:
are u a sister too?
then u shouldnt be talking here too
i think muslims sometimes become too extreme
and btw i didnt meet her personally since years its only she sent me an email
i thought probably il find out whats the best way out of this and tell her and now i think i should just tel her to sort it out within her family itself

thanks anyway guys

salaam alaikum
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wa alaykum us-salam
i was giving advice. i thought that was permissible :?
as im sure she was asking for advice but it seemed to me that when you go to someone for a personal matter like the above, then it's a little bit more personal than mere advice.

not accusing you (or her) or anything but just stating how i saw it.
 
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Ummu Sufyaan said:
wa alaykum us-salam
i was giving advice. i thought that was permissible :?
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I was doing the same dont u see? posting a prblm for someone else and trying to get some help

many people out there like to remove faults in others and forget thier own faults

now i think the best advice i can give her is to tel her to sort it out within her family i guess i should have understood that before posting

but thanks a lot, it did enlightened me a lil bit on that subject
 
it depends what they were arguing about maybe he slapped her because of the reason she was chatting with non mehrams? anyway Allah knows best. people get extremely angry in certain situations so i think its best not to judge in this case. slapping in the face is haraam though(but i'm not a scholar) you should get her to speak with one ''sigh'' its not good to be advising her about divorce either bro and give her any type of encouragement. i strongly warn you about that because only Allah knows what goes on in side the doors of a married couple. if she is looking for support im sure there is plenty of sisters out there who could give it to her.
 
cat eyes said:
it depends what they were arguing about maybe he slapped her because of the reason she was chatting with non mehrams? anyway Allah knows best. people get extremely angry in certain situations so i think its best not to judge in this case. slapping in the face is haraam though(but i'm not a scholar) you should get her to speak with one ''sigh'' its not good to be advising her about divorce either bro and give her any type of encouragement. i strongly warn you about that because only Allah knows what goes on in side the doors of a married couple. if she is looking for support im sure there is plenty of sisters out there who could give it to her.
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its alrite, its sorted i suggested her to seek help within her family itself :)

i gave no suggestions apart from that
 
Sad to hear that. was it just because of a slap? how was the husband controlling the wife? was he islamically right or was he making his wife's life miserable with restrictions that aren't his right to start with. A man has to treat his wife well and give her a good life. he shouldn't do anything so unbearable that it would force the wife to seek divorce. I guess the judge would've seen both sides of the story and given a proper judgment.
 
muhaba said:
Sad to hear that. was it just because of a slap? how was the husband controlling the wife? was he islamically right or was he making his wife's life miserable with restrictions that aren't his right to start with.
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i dont know the whole story, but she told me that he was controlling her a lot, dont do this and that and then once he slapped her........
 
Insecured soul said:
i dont know the whole story, but she told me that he was controlling her a lot, dont do this and that and then once he slapped her........
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Asalaamu Alaikum, Rasulallah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) warned against slapping and forbade striking or slapping the face of any human being or even an animal. Imaam Nawawi (RA) says in his Sharhul Muslim, 'Because the face is the embodiment of man's beauty in addition to it being of sublime nature.'.

In regards to the divorce of any couple then no one should judge them by blaming one person for the break up for it takes two to break up a relationship and Allah knows best who was at fault but when we get the view of one person then it is usually a bias view and not the full story of what exactley happened in the marriage and it is best to just accept that it was not meant to be and that they are both better off now and to wish them the best for the future inshallah.

And Allah knows best in all matters
 

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