Ugly

[Cabdullahi]

influx of women magazines and television shows and now we're all shallow....what you think about yourself is what counts...people will say things, you have to pay no attention to what they say

things have changed so much, it used to be 'i have to be good to others...i will be loved for my personality' now its ' i have to wow people with the way i look' i have to make heads turn' ' i have to try this product to bring the best out of me'

We've been conditioned for years....to like a certain aesthetic look for example 'the skinny fair' you might not even like that, you might like 'chubby brown' but they'll influence you to change your opinion that's what they do...

whats ugly for some might not be ugly for others....we cannot accept people higher up the hierarchy telling us that we need to look a certain way, a set standard for everyone to follow....''show a bit of cleavage!''...''wear tight clothing'' ''make yourself known by the way you look'' and ''dont ever cover up because when you cover up you become invisible''

then you get a million people competing by looks instead of competing by behavior and good character...its a whole lotta bull!

 

[Snowflake]

Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with being ugly.. attractiveness is different to ugliness. I know it can be painful to hear being called ugly.. but then how shallow must those people be to call someone ugly and not care about their feelings.. they must be ugly on the inside.. a person can not be good looking and still be attractive.. just be a sincere person who loves others for the sake of Allah, even when they don't. Those who know the value of real beauty will see it inshaAllah. And have faith sis. Allah will compensate you for your suffering better than you can imagine inshaAllah. Perhaps it will make others wish they'd been in your shoes.

 

[anonymous]

Salaam

I dont think i explained myself properly, i dont want to look like a bollywood star, or crave to luk like a model or anything, i dont read them stupid magz, or spend hours in front of the telly, its not that. Its just the things that people say, i think thats wat gets to me. And you know what its not easy to shake it off, especially wen its something out of your control eg..the way you look. me changing myself was to gain sum inner peace and put them comments behind, but it didnt work. apart from one condition, medically im healthy so im grateful for everything, its just i cant get past this uglyness thing. I have however taken all your advice on board, and will try to change my mental attitude a bit more.

 

[anonymous]

So thank Allah as much as you can and do not be an ungrateful servant for we have MUCH more than most people Allah has created!

I wasnt being ungrateful, you have no right to say that, wen you dont even know me or understand what my post was about.

 

[Cabdullahi]

will try to change my mental attitude a bit more.

what people say will only bug you if you allow it...its a psychological thing and there are things you can do to make you feel better about yourself....once you ignore people you'll find that your making a lot of progress in changing your attitude

 

[tango92]

I wasnt being ungrateful, you have no right to say that, wen you dont even know me or understand what my post was about.

it can be hard to understand each others emotions in plain text.

sis when you get older this mentality will fade away. the beautiful ones now will wither away (quite quickly) as time progresses just like all things in this dunya. what matters is whats in your brain and heart which will determine your life.....

 

[Snowflake]

Salaam

I dont think i explained myself properly, i dont want to look like a bollywood star, or crave to luk like a model or anything, i dont read them stupid magz, or spend hours in front of the telly, its not that. Its just the things that people say, i think thats wat gets to me. And you know what its not easy to shake it off, especially wen its something out of your control eg..the way you look. me changing myself was to gain sum inner peace and put them comments behind, but it didnt work. apart from one condition, medically im healthy so im grateful for everything, its just i cant get past this uglyness thing. I have however taken all your advice on board, and will try to change my mental attitude a bit more.

Yeah, I understand sis.. people don't necessarily want to be Miss/Mr Universe but at the same time they don't want to be called ugly either. And rightly so! And like you said it's something that's out of your control, so the next time anyone calls you ugly, tell them that, "You didn't make yourself, Allah did, so they aren't putting you down but are putting down Allah's creation!" InshaAllah give it to them good and proper sis.











.

 

[marwen]

So thank Allah as much as you can and do not be an ungrateful servant for we have MUCH more than most people Allah has created!

I wasnt being ungrateful, you have no right to say that, wen you dont even know me or understand what my post was about.

I don't think bro Hamza81 meant you are ungrateful. He was only giving some advice, to keep you safe from being ungrateful in the future.

Back to the subject. I just want to tell you that you should forget about all this, with these thoughts you are really torturing yourself sister for something not worthy. Thinking about self ugliness is the problem of all teenagers, and it means nothing. You are a normal person.

And if you hear someone talking about you, it doesn't mean what he says is true; you should ask yourself what reasons make this person talk like that. If you are really ugly, I don't think people will tell you that. this doesn't make any sense : I can't imagine if I'm Ugly and I'm hanging out, every person who sees me will stop me and tell me : "hey dude ! I'm sorry but .. you're so Ugly man !" and then he walks away. This makes no sense :-\ Besides who cares if I'm ugly or not, and what make him want to tell me I'm ugly, will this help?
If people tell you you're ugly it's not because you look ugly to them; it is because they have other reasons (they want to joke with you, or they want to make you angry, etc.) So don't count too much on what people say. Just ignore it and forget these thoughts.

May Allah give you happiness, and forgive me and all the muslims.

 

[Yanal]

We tend to think that we are the only ones with flaws regarding ourselves,while someone may appear more better looking,you may not know what they are suffering through. Just thank Allaah for what you have,insha'Allaah.

 

[anonymous]

what people say will only bug you if you allow it...its a psychological thing and there are things you can do to make you feel better about yourself....once you ignore people you'll find that your making a lot of progress in changing your attitude

I know!

You'd think i would have a thick skin by now...hearing all this cr** but i dont. Im human at the end of the day, and everyone has an emotional limit as to what they can endure.

 

[anonymous]

it can be hard to understand each others emotions in plain text.

sis when you get older this mentality will fade away. the beautiful ones now will wither away (quite quickly) as time progresses just like all things in this dunya. what matters is whats in your brain and heart which will determine your life.....

Older as in what age ? im 30 now...so do i just keep hoping my mentality will change in the next 20 years then ?

 

[anonymous]

Yeah, I understand sis.. people don't necessarily want to be Miss/Mr Universe but at the same time they don't want to be called ugly either. And rightly so! And like you said it's something that's out of your control, so the next time anyone calls you ugly, tell them that, "You didn't make yourself, Allah did, so they aren't putting you down but are putting down Allah's creation!" InshaAllah give it to them good and proper sis.

jazakhallah. I'll try this one next time. Its not just the physical aspect although that doesnt botha me to an extent. I come from a cultured family, so really theres only a few of us that wear the hijab....its older relatives comments that get to me, cos they shud know better, but also they make out that hijab is seen as an ugly thing. Sometimes i think to myself why do i bother placing all these restrictions on myself ? when it just brings misery. ?? I know i shouldnt think like that, thats more other peoples opinion, clouding what i stand for.

 

[tango92]

Older as in what age ? im 30 now...so do i just keep hoping my mentality will change in the next 20 years then ?

i dont know. what do you want me to say?

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Salaam

I dont think i explained myself properly, i dont want to look like a bollywood star, or crave to luk like a model or anything, i dont read them stupid magz, or spend hours in front of the telly, its not that. Its just the things that people say, i think thats wat gets to me. And you know what its not easy to shake it off, especially wen its something out of your control eg..the way you look. me changing myself was to gain sum inner peace and put them comments behind, but it didnt work. apart from one condition, medically im healthy so im grateful for everything, its just i cant get past this uglyness thing. I have however taken all your advice on board, and will try to change my mental attitude a bit more.

Asalaamu Alaikum, i did not mean it as in you want to be like a bollywood star and look up to celebrities etc but these were just examples i was giving in general because of the fact that unfortunatley celebrities are seen as role models nowadyas because of the strong media influence and because of that certain people feel that if they don't conform with that image that they are in someway ugly or not normal.

I understand where you are coming from that because a lot of your family are moderates that they see you wearing hijaab as not something that will conform to western society but this is a very sad state of affairs. Surely Allah's curse are on those people who mock the hijaab and any other aspect of Islam. How can these people lower themselves to this extent so as to call wearing the hijaab looking ugly? This is even more reason to disregard what comes out of their mouths and to even avoid sitting with them for too long. You should also explain to them in a gentle manner that the hijaab is fard on women and not optional. They need to understand Islam properly and not look at it in a mdoerate and diluted way for their versio of Islam is not Islam at all.

Whenever they imply that you are ugly in anyway then you should come out and tell them that it is not right for them to be calling you ugly or that hijaab makes you look ugly. Do not say it in a hrash manner but in a firm way so as to make them realise that their comments are hurtful and that they should not be making such comments. You should tell them that one should never hurt another Muslims feelings and that a Muslim should always be safe from anothers tongue. They should realise that their comments are very hurtful and causing you distress. Maybe you can take them to the side and talk to them. Open up to them and tell them how their comments are hurting you. If you don't tell them then how will they ever know?

Also you should always keep in mind that you do not care how others view you because as long as you covering is beautiful in the eyes of Allah then why should you care how you look in the eyes of others? To shaythan you wearing hijaab is ugly but to Allah it is most beautiful then who's views do you care more about?

Be proud that you are wearing the hijaab and NEVER let anyone put you down because of the way you look or the fact that you wear the hijaab. Be proud that you are covering for the pleasure of Allah and that you are doing what Allah has ordained upon you. Those who mock you for your looks and hijaab will eat their own words on the day of judgement and regret what they have said unless they repent and ask you for forgiveness for hurting your feelings. There will be recompanse on the day of judgement for hurting another Muslims feelings and not given them their rights.

So be proud sister and hold your head up high. Strive to go closer to Allah and disregard the whispers of shaythan and his helpers who are only trying to put you down so that you may become disillusioned and go away from Allah.

If you are most beautiful in the eyes of Allah then do not care if you are not in the eyes of shaythan and those far from Islam.

And Allah knows best in all matters

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

I wasnt being ungrateful, you have no right to say that, wen you dont even know me or understand what my post was about.

Asalaamu Alaikum, Just to clarify i actually meant it as in "we" should not be ungrateful slaves it was not meant to be just directed to "you". That is why i wrote towards the end of the sentence that "we" have more than most have. So it was a typing error i do apologise.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Older as in what age ? im 30 now...so do i just keep hoping my mentality will change in the next 20 years then ?

Sister you should not be harsh he only meant it as in when one gains more mental maturity through age then one will be able to deal better with these issues. We are only trying to help but when typing one can easily misunderstand.

 

[أحمد]

Salaam

I dont think i explained myself properly, i dont want to look like a bollywood star, or crave to luk like a model or anything, i dont read them stupid magz, or spend hours in front of the telly, its not that. Its just the things that people say, i think thats wat gets to me. And you know what its not easy to shake it off, especially wen its something out of your control eg..the way you look. me changing myself was to gain sum inner peace and put them comments behind, but it didnt work. apart from one condition, medically im healthy so im grateful for everything, its just i cant get past this uglyness thing. I have however taken all your advice on board, and will try to change my mental attitude a bit more.

Ignore whatever people say about ugliness; they have much time to waste and lack much gratitude towards their creature. Allah hasn't given people a pair of eyes and a mouth so that they can express how ugly others look. We haven't been created to criticise Allah's creation; we do actually have a genuine purpose of existence.

(51:56) And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.

(31:11) This is the creation of Allah . So show Me what those other than Him have created. Rather, the wrongdoers are in clear error.

:wa: