Extra-marital affair

[Adem Al-Albani]

As for assuming the man to have remarried; there's no such thing as a "secret marriage" in Islam.

What is your proof? If both parties agree, a secret marriage is perfectly fine.

 

[Ansariyah]

What is your proof? If both parties agree, a secret marriage is perfectly fine.

How is that 'perfectly fine' it just goes to show that a man like that isn't really man enuff to take responsibility for his own actions. Secret marriage is nothing to glorify, it might be Halal but is it encouraged? How about the feelings of those who are being kept in the dark about all of this?

 

[MohammedSP]

I can understand your situation sister because i have been through something like this before.
Try getting hold of that lady and talk to her. Maybe she does not know he is married.
I hope for the best for your sister.

 

[Adem Al-Albani]

How is that 'perfectly fine' it just goes to show that a man like that isn't really man enuff to take responsibility for his own actions. Secret marriage is nothing to glorify, it might be Halal but is it encouraged? How about the feelings of those who are being kept in the dark about all of this?

Of course, all that counts and is taken into consideration. They are allowed, but is it smart or the best thing in the world to do? Doesn't seem so.

Just because it may hurt someone's feelings, doesn't make it Haraam.

 

[~Raindrop~]

I think I should ask representatives from both families to meet plus a neutral referee to discuss the matter.

This would be the best thing to do under the circumstances.

Fun's over, people. Were we to dive into the subject of second marriages, we'd be here for weeks on end. Not to mention that it's off-topic.

 

[Bint Haneef]

A follow-up of the extra marital affair

Assalamualaikum,

I just didn't wish to open a new thread thinking it's a waste but unfortunately mine was closed one hour ago. I respect the decision of the moderators. It was not a debate on polygamy as such but I think the most important part was that if a first / second Nikah is done, it should be proclaimed.

Well, Allah Is definitely All-Powerful. After we found my brother-in-law at the lady's place, after his afternoon rest, we met and his wife asked him for explanations. Surprisingly, he admitted his extra-marital affair (unfortunately no Nikah was performed) and he openly said that he feels attracted to this lady. I was just there as a witness, the children also had their say, it got heated up at times so I had to calm down the situation. It was particularly harsh for my sister as she was very upset. Anyway since my sister didn't want her as a co-spouse (she is supposedly a convert, but she doesn't pray, covers her hair and doesn't want to learn about Islam, and is still called by her Hindu name). so my brother-in-law had to choose. He agrees to keep his legitimate wife while he will inform the lady that he wants to stop their relationship straight away. I told him to think over it very well as it is not easy to forget someone whom one feels attracted overnight. He told me: Vouloir c'est pouvoir (i.e. if you want something, you should be able to do it...along these lines)

So, we went to meet the lady, the lights were on but she didn't open the door. We shall try some other day. I advised my sister to help him overcome this situation by 'spoiling' him. He even confided to me how he tried to get out from this situation before and how at times he feels weak. After his confessoin, he feels very much relieved and that it seems he has just got married!

He also agrees that a Deeni brother comes to advise both following this problem, reviewing their duties and rights. So it may be scheduled for Saturday InshaAllah.

Alhamdulillah the situation is much better, Allah only knows about the sincerity of the person. We have not been sent to look into the hearts of people so we leave the future to Allah. The children seem much happier and we pray that Allah guides them adn helps them.

Wassalamualaikum

 

[~Raindrop~]

Threads merged.