Would like an Iman or someone of same knowledge on Islam to assist with my question

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Need guidance

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Asalam Alaikum,

For many years I have been battling the answers to my questions however I find myself today at 30 yrs old still lost and confused.

I was abused at a very young age by my cousin. Growing up was very difficult as my family broke apart and I grew up with no guidance. All my life I have known myself to be female however being born as a male I was led to believe that I am gay. Just over a year ago I started taking hormones to correct what I thought was gone wrong with my body and set on the path of matching my female soul to my body. During this process I met a muslim boy in Pakistan online who I fell in love with. He pleaded with me that what I was doing was haram and not to follow this path and to start praying. After telling him my life story he spoke to an Imam in Pakistan who advised him that long term use of these medications is harmful, however that he and I can live together and he can request that in the next world I be his wife that of which I can not be in this world.

One day he became ill and I listened to the Quran for the first time and started to weep. I realised what I was doing was not right and stopped hormones. I finally went over to Pakistan and met this young man who changed my life and brought me to Islam.

As I suddenly stopped taking hormones my body, my mood swings etc changed and I became very unsettled so shortly after returning back to Australia and after speaking with him we both agreed that I should start taking the hormones again and gradually wean off them which I started taking less than a month ago.

All my life I fought with my family when they said that what I am is the making of shaitan and I was blammed for being abused when I was a child, (and I have had many attempts at suicide, all of which failed), however since that day my soulmate became ill and I started listening to the Quran I realised that this is not the case and that we are tested by Allah every moment.

I find myself today in the same situation I was a few months ago and weeping as I do not know what path I should take as my eyes were opened by this young man who I call my soulmate and life partner, however for some reason I do not have answers to my questions and I am not entirely sure if what the Imam said to him was correct as my knowledge on Islam is very basic even though I belong to an Islamic family.

I have done many wrongs in my life and I am scared that I have crossed the limitations set in Islam to be forgiven by Allah.

Do I have the right to ask Allah to make me a woman in the next world and to be this man’s wife and vice versa for him to ask Allah? I am afraid this is a topic that is hardly spoken about either people do not want to hear or they are scared to speak the truth.

My only request is that I do not get any abusive messages here and that I find someone here who can guide me to the right path.

Asalam Alaikum
 
Wa alaykum us-Salaam

what makes you think you are female? perhaps you arent like all the men you know, but that doesn't make you any less male. it just may mean you are different, no?

going what you went through of abuse probably made you think that you are a loser and so you just settled with believing you are a loser. sometimes this happens. its not that the person is a loser, its just that, due to their abuse they have received, they dont really realize their full potential and so they tend to "punish" themselves by going into extremes. this is just the way they deal with it. the abuse could have been the "synthesis" for that becuase getting abused sends out the message that one is a bad person and so unfortunately that's what the abused person believes and act on. this is just one way people may deal with the abuse, there are other ways they deal with their problems aswell.

i think perhaps going back in time and trying break through those issues of abuse would be a good start. im not judging you, but if your post is anything to go by, you are believing that you are someone, but this is just the guise of your real issues not being addressed.

also, you need to see a doc before taking anything.
 
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Need guidance said:
Asalam Alaikum,

For many years I have been battling the answers to my questions however I find myself today at 30 yrs old still lost and confused.

I was abused at a very young age by my cousin. Growing up was very difficult as my family broke apart and I grew up with no guidance. All my life I have known myself to be female however being born as a male I was led to believe that I am gay. Just over a year ago I started taking hormones to correct what I thought was gone wrong with my body and set on the path of matching my female soul to my body. During this process I met a muslim boy in Pakistan online who I fell in love with. He pleaded with me that what I was doing was haram and not to follow this path and to start praying. After telling him my life story he spoke to an Imam in Pakistan who advised him that long term use of these medications is harmful, however that he and I can live together and he can request that in the next world I be his wife that of which I can not be in this world.

One day he became ill and I listened to the Quran for the first time and started to weep. I realised what I was doing was not right and stopped hormones. I finally went over to Pakistan and met this young man who changed my life and brought me to Islam.

As I suddenly stopped taking hormones my body, my mood swings etc changed and I became very unsettled so shortly after returning back to Australia and after speaking with him we both agreed that I should start taking the hormones again and gradually wean off them which I started taking less than a month ago.

All my life I fought with my family when they said that what I am is the making of shaitan and I was blammed for being abused when I was a child, (and I have had many attempts at suicide, all of which failed), however since that day my soulmate became ill and I started listening to the Quran I realised that this is not the case and that we are tested by Allah every moment.

I find myself today in the same situation I was a few months ago and weeping as I do not know what path I should take as my eyes were opened by this young man who I call my soulmate and life partner, however for some reason I do not have answers to my questions and I am not entirely sure if what the Imam said to him was correct as my knowledge on Islam is very basic even though I belong to an Islamic family.

I have done many wrongs in my life and I am scared that I have crossed the limitations set in Islam to be forgiven by Allah.

Do I have the right to ask Allah to make me a woman in the next world and to be this man’s wife and vice versa for him to ask Allah? I am afraid this is a topic that is hardly spoken about either people do not want to hear or they are scared to speak the truth.

My only request is that I do not get any abusive messages here and that I find someone here who can guide me to the right path.

Asalam Alaikum
Click to expand...

Asalaamu Alaikum, Jazakallahu khayran for coming forward with such a sensative issue. What you are refferring to is the Mukhannathun. Mukhannathun in arabic means-"effeminate ones", "men who resemble women", singular mukhannath) is classical Arabic for people we would now call transgendered, or male-to-female transsexuals. Various "mukhannathun" appear in several hadith. In one hadith the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) protects a mukhannath from an unruly mob. It can be said that they were and are Muslim transsexuals accepted as they are "within the boundaries of Medina and Mecca". Outside of the religious text they are strongly associated with music and entertainment.

Reports of Mukhannathun from the Qur'an, Hadith and Sunnah

There are many references to these people both direct and indirect in the Qur'an, Hadith and Sunnah. In the Qur'an:

The Quran Sura 24 verse 31 (as translated by Shakir): And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts and do not display their ornaments except what appears thereof, and let them wear their head-coverings over their bosoms, and not display their ornaments except to their husbands or their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or those whom their right hands possess, or the male servants not having need (of women), or the children who have not attained knowledge of what is hidden of women; and let them not strike their feet so that what they hide of their ornaments may be known; and turn to Allah all of you, O believers! so that you may be successful.

Two reliable hadith are:

Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 41, Number 4910: Narrated Abu Hurayrah (RA): A mukhannath who had dyed his hands and feet with henna was brought to the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). He asked: What is the matter with this man? He was told: Apostle of Allah! he affects women's get-up. So he ordered regarding him and he was banished to an-Naqi'. The people said: Apostle of Allah! should we not kill him? He said: I have been prohibited from killing people who pray. Abu Usamah said: Naqi' is a region near Medina and not a Baqi (in other words not referring to Jannat al-Baqi cemetery. Indicating they were not punished.)'

Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 32, Number 4095: Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin:

A mukhannath (eunuch) used to enter upon the wives of Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). They (the people) counted him among those who were free of physical needs. One day the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) entered upon us when he was with one of his wives, and was describing the qualities of a woman, saying: When she comes forward, she comes forward with four (folds in her stomach), and when she goes backward, she goes backward with eight (folds in her stomach). The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: Do I not see that this (man) knows what here lies. Then they (the wives) observed veil from him.

According to the Scholar and hadith collector An-Nawawi (RA):

A mukhannath is the one ("male") who carries in his movements, in his appearance and in his language the characteristics of a woman. There are two types; the first is the one in whom these characteristics are innate, he did not put them on by himself, and therein is no guilt, no blame and no shame, as long as he does not perform any (illicit) act or exploit it for money (prostitution etc.). The second type acts like a woman out of immoral purposes and he is the sinner and blameworthy.

Furthermore there is the observation of Ibn Abd Al-Barr who was a contemporary of An-Nawawi:

The mukhannath is not only the one who is known to be promiscuous. The mukhannath is (also?) the one who looks so much like a woman physically that he resembles women in his softness, speech, appearance, accent and thinking. If he is like this, he would have no desire for women and he would not notice anything about them. This is one of those who have no interest in women who were permitted to enter upon women. "

The Mukhannathun were given a high status in the times of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) as being "guardians of sacred boundaries" even gave them the privilege to guard not only the "harem" of women, but also the most sacred "harem" in Makkah and the one in Madinah. From the 12th century on it is reported that they were the dignified guardians of the grave of the noble Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), a custom that held on until the end of the Ottoman rule over the two sacred cities.

So be proud of the way Allah has made you and never think that Allah made a mistake with you by giving you the wrong body. That is what shaythan wants you to think for shaythan is the deciever and liar aswell as our sworn enemy. Allah NEVER makes mistakes. What you have is not an illness or disease but a test from Allah. Allah tests those who he wants good for.

Therefore it is clear that Allah wants good for you and so is testing you. he wants to see if you will remain patient and put your trust, faith and reliance in him or will you lose your faith, trust and hope in him and instead give in to shaythan and your desires. With patience comes victory! Please read more about tests here:

How we can get through hardships and trials in our lives

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners...n-get-through-hardships-trials-our-lives.html

According to scholars it is not permissable for you to have any kind of gender re-assignment surgery nor take hormones. it is also not permissable for you to marry a man or even be on contact with one let alone live with one. Therefore you must cut off contact with this man and not keep in touch with any other men which may lead to lust and sin. This is your test just like every other human is being tested in some way or another in this life,then this is your test for you to resist your desire of men and abstain from major sin and instead make your focus the hereafter and spending everyday pleasing your creator.

It maybe that on the day of judgement after spending your life abstaining from sin and being patient that you will face Allah with little or no sin. It also maybe that your patience would grant you a high rank in Paradise where you can live in eternity with the best partner that Allah will give to you.

You are unique and Allah is wanting you close to him so make your focus the hereafter and to live everyday to please Allah. This is such a short life and we can die at ANY second so is it really worth us resorting to our desires and to major sin when all we have to do is spend this short amount of time in pleasing Allah then we have a whole eternity of bliss to look forward to.

Whether Allah creates you a man or a women in the hereafter and whatever partner he chooses for you is only with Allah for he knows best and surely he will give you what is best for you so again put your trust in him. Ask Allah to give you what is best for you in the hereafter rather than making dua for specific names.

Allah is with those who are patient and surely the reward of patience is Paradise. It maybe on the day of judgement when you see the rewards of your patience you will wish Allah gave you even bigger tests just so that you can be patient and be rewarded even more by Allah! Subhanallah!

If you need any help, advice or support then please do not hesitate to ask. Here is an e mail contact of a highly trained scholar (Mufti) in Australia where your from so that you may get scholarly advice regarding your issue: [email protected]


These articles wil help you to maximise the amount of good deeds you do everyday so you can get closer to Allah inshallah:


10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...man-faith.html (10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith))

30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...eir-lives.html (30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!)

Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...vy-scales.html (Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!)

My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...hip-check.html (My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!)

10 steps to getting closer to Allah

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...ser-allah.html (10 steps to getting closer to Allah)

Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/worship-...-everyday.html (Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!)

VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/worship-...-everyday.html (VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!)

How much we will regret the precious seconds we wasted in this world!

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners...-regret-precious-seconds-we-wasted-world.html


Here are some very beneficial lectures to increase your imaan and fear of Allah:


AMAZING short speech -"The Goodly Life"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fugf1DcNyc


Remembrance: ask Allah for his forgiveness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-EK9r3rMzQ

Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA

HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc

Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE

Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo

How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg


If you need any help, advice or anything at all then please do not hesitate to ask. Please also mention me in your duas.

And Allah knows best in all matters
 
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As bro Hamza has said; think of it as a test. The feelings may persist but the sin is only in acting upon them. If you are Muslim and want to follow the straight path then you know you cannot change your sex or be with that boy. As far as I know you can ask Allah for anything you like (whether you're granted it or not is another matter). Have you considered seeing a counselor for the abuse you suffered as a child? Talking things through with someone may help.
 
Here is a response from DarulFatwa Australia which you can write or phone them your questions:

You can send your question to us and the sheikhs will look after it:

Darulfatwa Islamic High Council

P.O.Box 147

Bankstown 1885

PH: 02 9793 3330

Fax: 02 9793 3103

www.darulfatwa.org.au
 
Ummu Sufyaan said:
Wa alaykum us-Salaam

what makes you think you are female? perhaps you arent like all the men you know, but that doesn't make you any less male. it just may mean you are different, no?

going what you went through of abuse probably made you think that you are a loser and so you just settled with believing you are a loser. sometimes this happens. its not that the person is a loser, its just that, due to their abuse they have received, they dont really realize their full potential and so they tend to "punish" themselves by going into extremes. this is just the way they deal with it. the abuse could have been the "synthesis" for that becuase getting abused sends out the message that one is a bad person and so unfortunately that's what the abused person believes and act on. this is just one way people may deal with the abuse, there are other ways they deal with their problems aswell.

i think perhaps going back in time and trying break through those issues of abuse would be a good start. im not judging you, but if your post is anything to go by, you are believing that you are someone, but this is just the guise of your real issues not being addressed.

also, you need to see a doc before taking anything.
Click to expand...


I am not going into the depths of why I believe I am a woman nor the abuse I went through as this was not my question. I was merely painting a basic life story so that I can get the correct information which brother Hamza81 has assisted with.

Yes you are right in regards to going to sinful extremes after being abused, all of which I have done, however I have dealt with the past and my abusive, its my future that I am trying to find answers to.

The medication I am on was prescribed by a dr and pysc.. Thank you for your concern and asalam alaikum.
 
my apologies, i didnt mean for my advise to come across that way. i just asked those question for you to reflect on.
 
Asalam Alaikum brother Humza81,

Firstly thank you so much for sharing this information for me.. I am actually quite shocked with what I have read and wished that I knew about Mukhannathun's in the Haddith. It is a shame that family members or the major public do not know about these things. Had I of known I would never of resorted to sin, instead been proud of what I was and how high status we were given during the time of the prophet, blessings be upon him.

It makes me sad that my family do not know about this or our local muslims, instead they cast you as a sinner and become an enemy, however I am happy to be able to share the information you advised to them.

Unfortunatley I spent my entire life rebelling and resorting to sin as this was all I knew, I just hope inshallah it is not to late for me and may Allah forgive my past inshallah.

Recently my Father was here and I tried as much as I could to act more masculine however it was quite difficult as it is something I have never been, and found it extremely stressful trying to act like something I have never been, which brings me to the next question:

Alhumdulliah I have not had any surgeries, all because of my soul mate as he brought me back the ways of Islam, however I am not sure which way to go with regards my looks.. I did have much longer hair which I have cut to neck length and have had previously removed all my facial hairs, am I meant to be live as a man and try to go 'manly' or stay the way I have been my whole life and submit to islam as the way I am?

My soulmate has suggested we both go to Haj inshallah and never again resort to sin. He has also advised that there is no sin with long hair and that when I complete Haj I will be required to cut my hair which I look forward to should I be blessed to go down that road, inshallah.

I no longer have the desires to do any anything further with my body in regards to changing to female, I have even gone as far as throwing all my female clothes in the rubbish as I know what I ask in this world I will lose in the next.

I did go to a local mosque once here and unfortunatley I was not able to go into depths with my situation, so I am very grateful to the information you have advised and will have you in my dua's.

Asalam Alaikum
 
Dagless said:
As bro Hamza has said; think of it as a test. The feelings may persist but the sin is only in acting upon them. If you are Muslim and want to follow the straight path then you know you cannot change your sex or be with that boy. As far as I know you can ask Allah for anything you like (whether you're granted it or not is another matter). Have you considered seeing a counselor for the abuse you suffered as a child? Talking things through with someone may help.
Click to expand...

Brother Dagless, Thank you for your reply.

Alhumdulilah that boy is the reason why I was brought back to Islam... I thank Allah in all my prays for showing me the way as until I met him I did not pray and lead a sinful life.

It is easy to say not to be with him, however we have both agreed to never have sex and to go to haj and live a good life together and be a pillar of support to each other, so I am not sure what to think of what I am meant to do here.

With regards to my past, I have dealt those issues alhumdulilallah and have no problems with happened, its just what is going on now and my future that I needed guidance with as far as my family are concern they have always seen me as shaitans child.. They do not know that I am on hormones nor the extensive details of my past, as the medication did not change my face, just balanced my insides so to speak. Ever since I was a child I was mistaken for a girl, so when I started hormones, in my families eyes there was not much of a difference with looks so I am glad I did not have to tell them or put them through that, if that makes sense.

The odd thing is when I am on hormones my belief in Islam is so strong compared to when I am not on hormones so this is another delema, however I know now that this a test that I must overcome and inshallah I will.

Asalam Alaikum
 
Thank you again Brother Humza for advising contact details for here in Australia. I am not sure how I would feel to speak to someone face to face about this just as I know how humans can be, but will contact them somehow.

May you be blessed in both worlds inshallah for all your assistance.
 
Need guidance said:
Asalam Alaikum brother Humza81,

Firstly thank you so much for sharing this information for me.. I am actually quite shocked with what I have read and wished that I knew about Mukhannathun's in the Haddith. It is a shame that family members or the major public do not know about these things. Had I of known I would never of resorted to sin, instead been proud of what I was and how high status we were given during the time of the prophet, blessings be upon him.

It makes me sad that my family do not know about this or our local muslims, instead they cast you as a sinner and become an enemy, however I am happy to be able to share the information you advised to them.

Unfortunatley I spent my entire life rebelling and resorting to sin as this was all I knew, I just hope inshallah it is not to late for me and may Allah forgive my past inshallah.

Recently my Father was here and I tried as much as I could to act more masculine however it was quite difficult as it is something I have never been, and found it extremely stressful trying to act like something I have never been, which brings me to the next question:

Alhumdulliah I have not had any surgeries, all because of my soul mate as he brought me back the ways of Islam, however I am not sure which way to go with regards my looks.. I did have much longer hair which I have cut to neck length and have had previously removed all my facial hairs, am I meant to be live as a man and try to go 'manly' or stay the way I have been my whole life and submit to islam as the way I am?

My soulmate has suggested we both go to Haj inshallah and never again resort to sin. He has also advised that there is no sin with long hair and that when I complete Haj I will be required to cut my hair which I look forward to should I be blessed to go down that road, inshallah.

I no longer have the desires to do any anything further with my body in regards to changing to female, I have even gone as far as throwing all my female clothes in the rubbish as I know what I ask in this world I will lose in the next.

I did go to a local mosque once here and unfortunatley I was not able to go into depths with my situation, so I am very grateful to the information you have advised and will have you in my dua's.

Asalam Alaikum
Click to expand...

Asalaamu Alaikum, unfortunatley the vast majority of Muslims do not have much knowledge in this area and a lack of knowledge usually brings about ignorance and that is why you were treated the way you were by your family and many others in your past. You have to understand that it is not easy for your family to have to deal with such a situation because they themselves feel trapped and helpless. Deep down they do love you a lot but they just do not know how to handle your situation.So be patient with them and continue to show love for your parents and give the utmost respect to them.

It matters not what others say as long as you are doing your best to abstain from sin and to please Allah. That is all that matters.

With regards to the way you dress then you should not dress femininely but just wear modest male clothing. Also make sure your hair style is also not too feminine. It is a good thing that you have taken the steps to throw your feminine clothes away.

As hard as it is you will have to cut off relations with this man. It is not permissable for you to live with him or be alone with him as that will certainly induce lust and sexual desires. That is like a normal male wanting to live with a female saying that they would never have feel lust or any sexual urges. When two people who are attracted to each other are alone together then shaythan is always third party. Somewhere down the line things will certainly happen. Islamically it is not permissable for you to be alone with him or any other male because of the fact that you are attracted to males.

You should not be decieved with all of these dreams that you are creating with each other because one day you may get very hurt. He should know himself that it is not permissable for him to ever live with you or go out anywhere with you, so i do not know why he is telling you that he will live with you and go to Hajj with you etc. He should know that it is not permissable. Which Imam would ever say that it is permisable for a Mukhannath and male to live together? If he did say so then he must have made it up. Then for him to say that he will go to Hajj with you is also quite absurd as the purpose of going to Hajj is to fulfill a major obligation to Allah but how can one do so by going with an illegitamate partner?

The reality is that the sooner you end contact with him the better for you otherwise you will get more hurt the longer you remain in touch with him and continue creating dreams and false hopes with him. Do you think his family will ever accept such a thing where you both would live with each other? Do you think that he will never want to marry and have kids? I am sure at some point he will want a family of his own and children etc. It is very easy for a guy to say so many things and create so many dreams with their partner but a lot of the times as you will have heard, read etc these dreams end up being just that - dreams and when reality hits then that is when pain and anguish sets in. Therefore save yourself from this pain and end contact immediatley otherwise you are looking to get extremely hurt.
 
Need guidance said:
Thank you again Brother Humza for advising contact details for here in Australia. I am not sure how I would feel to speak to someone face to face about this just as I know how humans can be, but will contact them somehow.

May you be blessed in both worlds inshallah for all your assistance.
Click to expand...

You can write to them using the address given inshallah. That way you can explain your story in detail and also get a detailed response back.
 
Hamza81 said:
Asalaamu Alaikum, unfortunatley the vast majority of Muslims do not have much knowledge in this area and a lack of knowledge usually brings about ignorance and that is why you were treated the way you were by your family and many others in your past. You have to understand that it is not easy for your family to have to deal with such a situation because they themselves feel trapped and helpless. Deep down they do love you a lot but they just do not know how to handle your situation.So be patient with them and continue to show love for your parents and give the utmost respect to them.

It matters not what others say as long as you are doing your best to abstain from sin and to please Allah. That is all that matters.

With regards to the way you dress then you should not dress femininely but just wear modest male clothing. Also make sure your hair style is also not too feminine. It is a good thing that you have taken the steps to throw your feminine clothes away.

As hard as it is you will have to cut off relations with this man. It is not permissable for you to live with him or be alone with him as that will certainly induce lust and sexual desires. That is like a normal male wanting to live with a female saying that they would never have feel lust or any sexual urges. When two people who are attracted to each other are alone together then shaythan is always third party. Somewhere down the line things will certainly happen. Islamically it is not permissable for you to be alone with him or any other male because of the fact that you are attracted to males.

You should not be decieved with all of these dreams that you are creating with each other because one day you may get very hurt. He should know himself that it is not permissable for him to ever live with you or go out anywhere with you, so i do not know why he is telling you that he will live with you and go to Hajj with you etc. He should know that it is not permissable. Which Imam would ever say that it is permisable for a Mukhannath and male to live together? If he did say so then he must have made it up. Then for him to say that he will go to Hajj with you is also quite absurd as the purpose of going to Hajj is to fulfill a major obligation to Allah but how can one do so by going with an illegitamate partner?

The reality is that the sooner you end contact with him the better for you otherwise you will get more hurt the longer you remain in touch with him and continue creating dreams and false hopes with him. Do you think his family will ever accept such a thing where you both would live with each other? Do you think that he will never want to marry and have kids? I am sure at some point he will want a family of his own and children etc. It is very easy for a guy to say so many things and create so many dreams with their partner but a lot of the times as you will have heard, read etc these dreams end up being just that - dreams and when reality hits then that is when pain and anguish sets in. Therefore save yourself from this pain and end contact immediatley otherwise you are looking to get extremely hurt.
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Walaikum Asalam,

I must say that I spent the last 3 prays weeping with joy and sorrow from the words and wisdom you have shared with me. It is a shame my knowledge on Islam is so basic as is everyone around me that instead of telling me what I am and preparing me for the world, I was thrown out and cast as a sinner. It took 7 years before my family asked me back and for the last 1.5yrs we fought regarding everything including Islam.

My tears today brother Humza is that I no longer feel like shaitans child, nor do I feel like a freak. I cried cause the answer I was looking for all my life laid in the Haddith which you introduced me to do... May Allah forgive me for not knowing and acting in sin all these years.

If Mukhannath's back in the day of the prophet held respect, why has it changed over the years? .

You have given me a new lease on life, a purpose to live and for that I am truely grateful.

With regards to this man, he is mearly still a boy of almost 19yrs of age... Maybe this is my biggest test in life is to leave the one I have been searching for my entire life for the happiness of Allah.

He has told his mother and brother about me who I went and lived with and met for a month, they were very sweet and caring towards my needs and happiness and have advised that I am permitted to live with him provided we do not sin. His mother went to the extreme of covering me and protecting me when sinful police and certain men were near by.

Living with him brother Humza is not going to be so easy as he lives on the other side of the world, bringing him here to Australia will be a enormous task which could take years and could be next to impossible.

I have constantly asked him about him wanting children and finding a wife and to forget about me, but he has assured me that he is not interested in anyone else and that he has no desires to have children.. should he want children he will adopt. Believe me, being 11years older than him I have been burnt by the tales of lies men spin in order to get what they want, however somehow with him it seem different as mostly we speak about islam.

Are we not permitted to live with each other even if we promise to become brothers and have a brotherly love, and also go to haj as brothers?

I guess my fears of growing old alone is part of my punishment for the sinful life I have lead.

During my prayers tonight I told Allah that if this is what he wants than this what he shall have.. I ready to accept my punishment and end all ties should Allah want this, the answer will yet to be revealed to me inshallah soon enough.

Before meeting this guy, I told myself, I will come back to Australia with a soulmate or a best friend, for it was he who brought me to Islam when no one else could.

Thank you Humza truely for being honest with me and opening my eyes. It is times like this that ones views on human beings is restored.

May I ask another question which has nothing to do with this.. I own a small dog, approx 4-5kgs who I have had for nearly 7-8 years along with a cat which I know is not haram to have.

I have been told many different views with dog and islam and would like your opionion on the matter.

Currently my dog stays mostly in my bedroom, the garage or out in the back yard. We do not let her run around the house, firstly as it is my parents home and 2ndly I have started praying and know that much that a dog should be that close to you when praying.

I have been told I need to get rid of her, but how can I get rid of an innocent animal who has been with me for all her life and who is so small that she can not fend for herself.

I read an article once that they said you are permitted to have a dog provided you keep the dog clean and that it is the nose of that is what is dirty.... So your views on this matter would also be very grately appreciated.
 
:sl:

brother, it seems you have found the answer you were looking for.

My only advise for you is that to keep asking Allah for help, to give you ease in this life and hereafter, to give you serenity and peace of mind.
It will be hard for you to end your relationships with the man, but when you leave something which Allah does not allow for the sake of Allah, He will return you with unimaginable rewards.

I think you should also go hajj as soon as you can, but do not go with him. You may say that you will go hajj with him as brothers, however since you've had romantic relationships with him, this will certainly affect your ibada. Remember, when you go hajj you will have an amazing opportunity for ibada and repentance, and how can you do sincere repentance when you are there with him?

Keep making sincere plea to Allah so you can live your life as a good muslim. You may not see it now, but you may change somehow Insya Allah. Even if you do not, at least you will remain steadfast in your eeman and islam.

May Allah SWT protect you and guide you always on the straight path. Amiin.
 
Assalaamu Alikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh

Praise be to Allah and peace and blessings of Allah be upon Muhammad The Last of Prophets and Messengers...

May Allah ease your way and all the affairs and matters of your life ,gives you health and wealth ,fills your heart with His rememberance, Taqwa ,Imaan ,His love ,peace ,comfort and the endless happiness and satisfaction , opens all the doors of goodness and success for you ,May Allah make all your dreams, hopes ,wishes and prayers come true if were good for you and covers you with all of His blessings graces forgiveness mercy and Be pleased with you in this life and in the hereafter , May Allah protect you all from all harm ,sins ,shaitan ,torment of grave ,the bad end and hellfire and May He gives you the strength and the good knowledge of this Deen preserving the Qur`aan and Sunnah in your heart; guiding your way always and forever and purify you from all sins and make your grave after death one of the Paradise gardens shining bright wide and perfumed with the perfumes of Al Jannah, may Allah make you pass Asseraatulmustaqeem in a blink of an eye and reward you all with the highest levels of the Paradise (Al Ferdaws Al Aalaa) with out being reckoning to be with Rasool Allah Muhammad (salla Allaho Alyhi wa Sallam) all prophets (peace and blessings of Allah be upon them )the Sahaba (may Allah be pleased with them) and Angels (peace be upon them all) and to be coverd by silk perfumed with musk eating from Al Firdaws fruits looking to Allah Al Mighty Face coverd with His light and grace......

this Duaa for you my respected brother and All Muslims from Jinn and Mankind dead or live from the begining of the creation till the day of Judgement....

Praise be to Allah and peace and blessings of Allah be upon Muhammad The Last of Prophets and Messengers...

Aameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen

Please take care of yourself in shaa Allah and never ever forget that Allah Is always with us and all of the hard times we had and still having are great blessings from Allah to make us return to Him to forgive us and elevate our status in this Dunya and Akhirah ,just trust Allah and never give up asking Him for anything you want and striving for His sake in shaa Allah...

May Allah be with you and help you to obey Him right remembering Him Praising and Thanking Him always and forever till the last breath and after it and May Allah make you a real slave and servant of Him living for His sake and die for His sake and all the Ummah ...

Aameeeeeeeeen

leaving you my noble brother who I am honored to have as a brother; under Allah`s sight care and protection...

With all my respect and humility, your sister no matter what you are:

Amat Allah

 
naidamar said:
:sl:

brother, it seems you have found the answer you were looking for.

My only advise for you is that to keep asking Allah for help, to give you ease in this life and hereafter, to give you serenity and peace of mind.
It will be hard for you to end your relationships with the man, but when you leave something which Allah does not allow for the sake of Allah, He will return you with unimaginable rewards.

I think you should also go hajj as soon as you can, but do not go with him. You may say that you will go hajj with him as brothers, however since you've had romantic relationships with him, this will certainly affect your ibada. Remember, when you go hajj you will have an amazing opportunity for ibada and repentance, and how can you do sincere repentance when you are there with him?

Keep making sincere plea to Allah so you can live your life as a good muslim. You may not see it now, but you may change somehow Insya Allah. Even if you do not, at least you will remain steadfast in your eeman and islam.

May Allah SWT protect you and guide you always on the straight path. Amiin.
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Thank you brother Naidamar.. You have all been so kind, I am very grateful. Now I must learn to live life like a true Muslim so I can make Allah proud inshallah, Amin.

May you all be blessed with good health here and in the next world inshallah Amin
 
My respected sister, thank you so much.

I truly am blessed to be a Muslim. I've never encountered so many niceness towards what I am until today.

I've shed so many tears from my eyes today knowing how beautiful the human race can be.

May Allah do all of the above and more for you inshallah.

Asalam Alaikum
 
Asalaolikum
i just want to say, i am not known about ur age, but since that boy is in teen ages. so he could not be taken as mature. usually in this age love is more important for a person than children and etc...but with time priorities changes...so u have to care this.
ALLAH SWT make things easy for u.
 
tigerkhan said:
Asalaolikum
i just want to say, i am not known about ur age, but since that boy is in teen ages. so he could not be taken as mature. usually in this age love is more important for a person than children and etc...but with time priorities changes...so u have to care this.
ALLAH SWT make things easy for u.
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Walaikum asalam,

I am now 30.. You are right, love is very important to him as is his faith in Allah. I have tried to make him understand but he believes we can live a good pure life and to shame shaitan and his wrong doings.

Let's see what our future holds.. I have surrounded myself to Allah... May I be blessed inshallah with what to do.

Asalam alaikum brother
 

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