Teen in need of severe help.

[asssshleyroooob]

I really have lost all hope in myself. I'm so depressed and i just can't stop sinning. I feel like I will never be a good enough muslim and I don't want to feel like that in life.

I'm 17 years old & I have done A LOT of stupid stuff in my life, (like drink alcohol, etc) It took me the hard way to learn how bad I had become and how stupid I was, and I regret it all. I repented and stopped drinking alcohol and i have been clean for a year now. I also stopped with my other sins, but there is one that I can not get rid of.. No matter how hard I try. Ever since I can remember, I have been masturbating. Sometimes with porn, sometimes without. I know it's bad and I understand what I'm doing, but i ALWAYS end up going back to it. And I just want to stop. It's embaressing and a horrible sin. I try to stop and I'll go a week, or two, or even a month or two! but I ALWAYS go back, always. I try not to and i feel like a horrible person but I don't know what to do. I pray but I feel like I've already messed up my relationship with Allah. I seriously feel horrible to the point where I cry and have suicidal thoughts. I don't want to do this anymore, please help me and tell me how i can stop. And please pray for a fellow muslim in need of help.

Thank you so much and please help me.

 

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-support/134303736-how-overcome-masterbation.html

 

[Woodrow]

the first step in curing a problem is knowing there is a problem. You have taken the first step. Now the need is to develop sabr and the strength to continue forward. Bad habits are very difficult to overcome, they take time and constant awareness of them being sinful. No matter how hard we try our thought is going to be, "I know it is wrong, but this will be the last time."

A recovering alcoholic has to constantly tell himself "one drink is too many and all the alcohol in the world is not enough." Which means that even the slightest attempt to do that which we know is habitual is too many times, and to do so continuously would not be enough to achieve satisfaction.

 

[Cabdullahi]

There's a chemical in your brain called dopamine and every time you watch porn and masturbate great amounts of it is released into the brain, if the person carries on this way and makes it a habit, the brain becomes dependent on this chemical, the brain has become accustomed to you giving it this chemical in great amounts, so once you tell your brain that you wont give it this chemical because you will stop porn, it will tell you ''is this guy kidding me?!? i need it and need it now!!!!'' and so you cave in because its all too much.

This is how Allah created us, these chemicals help us stay with our wives...to reproduce....to do certain things repeatedly....these chemicals create excitement and so on.

What you have done is you have abused this system, that's what porn does it overloads the brain with these chemicals to a point where you cannot cope past a week without watching porn.

seeing your lovely wife = chemicals are released = the bond between you and your wife is solidified.

watching porn = crazy amount of chemicals are released = the bond between you and porn is solidified.

Simple mathematics

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

I really have lost all hope in myself. I'm so depressed and i just can't stop sinning. I feel like I will never be a good enough muslim and I don't want to feel like that in life.

I'm 17 years old & I have done A LOT of stupid stuff in my life, (like drink alcohol, etc) It took me the hard way to learn how bad I had become and how stupid I was, and I regret it all. I repented and stopped drinking alcohol and i have been clean for a year now. I also stopped with my other sins, but there is one that I can not get rid of.. No matter how hard I try. Ever since I can remember, I have been masturbating. Sometimes with porn, sometimes without. I know it's bad and I understand what I'm doing, but i ALWAYS end up going back to it. And I just want to stop. It's embaressing and a horrible sin. I try to stop and I'll go a week, or two, or even a month or two! but I ALWAYS go back, always. I try not to and i feel like a horrible person but I don't know what to do. I pray but I feel like I've already messed up my relationship with Allah. I seriously feel horrible to the point where I cry and have suicidal thoughts. I don't want to do this anymore, please help me and tell me how i can stop. And please pray for a fellow muslim in need of help.

Thank you so much and please help me.

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Jazakallahu khayr for sharing your issues with us. It is clear that Allah is giving your heart the inclination to go towards him that is why you desire to eradicate these evils from your life so that you can go towards Allah.

Shaythan is always wanting to divert our attention and focus away from our real purpose in life. Therefore we have to continuously remind ourselves as to why we are here and what is our REAL purpose is on this earth.

Have we been created to study, work, get married, have kids and then die? Well you could say that this is part of what we have to do in our lives on this earth but Almighty Allah tells us the sole purpose of our creation:

"I have created the jinn and humankind only for My worship" The Holy Qur'an, Chapter 51, Verse 56

What is the greatest form of worship to Allah? The answer is: Salaah!

Salaah is the second pillar of Islam and is the most important act of worship after the Shahada (decleration of faith).

It is the first question we will be asked as Muslims in the hereafter as to whether or not we fulfilled our Salaah or not. Therefore it is the most important act of worship that has been ordained to mankind.

So until our very last breath we should know what our priorities are and focus on fulfilling all of our Salaah as it is the very purpose of our creation.

Shaythan is very well aware that Salaah is our biggest obligation and so therefore is forever trying to divert mans attention away from fulfilling this obligation to Allah.

He whispers every excuse possible into our eyes and unfrotunatley a lot of the times we fall victim to his whispers.

Unfortunatley a lot of us are "Eid Muslims" as in we pray every Eid but what we don't realise is that Eid is only Waajib(compulsory) and not even Fard(obligatory) even though waajib is close to Fard but do yuo see the point? We are Muslims twice a year and the rest of the year just Muslims by name.

The there are the "Ramadan Muslims" who are just Muslims in Ramadan. They will make the effort to pray in Ramadan and even make the effort to pray Tarawee but the day Eid comes then Eid Salaah is the last Salaah they will read until next Ramadan.

There are also MANY of us who are "Jummah Muslims" who are only Muslims for Friday prayers and the rest of the week are only Muslims by name. We chase this world as if we will be here forever but what we don't realise is that NOTHING that we chase in this world will be of any good to us in the hereafter. So are we chasing after the wrong thing? Should we not be chasing after the hereafter?

I'm not saying don't do anything for this world because obviously we have been created to earn our sustanaince with our own hands but where should we put most of our efforts into? Where do investors make their investments? In long term or short term gains? Obviously long term gains. So using this analogy let us think where we should most of our investment into. If we compare where we will spend more time then is it in this world or hereafter? Obviously the hereafter because the hereafter is forever whereas this world can end for us ANY moment.

Therefore we MUST put most of our efforts into investing good deeds into the hereafter for that is what will truly benefit us FOREVER and the gains of this world will only benefit us for a very short while because we will not be able to take our wealth with us. We will leave EVERYTHING we have invested into this world here. So we can work SO hard all of our lives but then we can die the next day and all that would have gone to waste.

Many of us have also become "Convenience Muslims" as in we only pray when it suits us best or "when we have time". We must leave this concept of only being Muslims for Eid, or in Ramadan, Jummah or convenience whenever it suits us best.

There is NO such thing as being a part time Muslim. We CANNOT be Muslims when we want to be now and again. We CANNOT be Muslims only by name and not action. Therefore let us be proper Muslims and be proud of the fact that we are Muslims and that we have been given imaan but if we neglect our imaan then we may risk losing it and destroying ourselves.

Allah tells us In the Qur'an to enter fully into our deen and not partly:

O believers enter into Islam completely and do not follow the footsteps of Shaitan, surely he is your clear-cut enemy. If you falter after receiving the clear-cut message, then keep in mind that Allah is Mighty, Wise. Are they waiting for Allah to come down to them in the shadow of clouds, along with the angels, and make His decision known? Ultimately all matters will be presented to Allah for decision. (Surah Al-Baqara, Ayah 208-210)

Allah does not expect us to be perfect angels but he will judge us on what efforts we made throughout our lives. When you hear a person say "I try to read Salaah or i try to do what i can". Do you think they are really trying? Or are they just saying they are and decieving themselves? If we really tried we can do anything.

We can decieve ourselves but we cannot decieve Allah. Allah knows us better than we know ourselves and he knows what we are capable of and praying 5 times a day is not impossible for any of us.

If we calculate how long it would take to pray 5 times a day then you could sum it upto around 40 minutes a day. Now there are 1440 minutes in a day and 40 minutes out of 1440 of our day is ONLY 3% of a day and we still can't manage that? Many of us spend that much time eating, excreting or in front of a mirror and we can't even spend it praying and fulfilling the very purpose of our creation? We spend hours on end in front of the television or listening to Music or playing our playing the latest play station games or seeing who's poked us on facebook but we can't spend a few minutes praying to the one who has given us EVERYTHING we can possible imagine and far more? We are truly at loss!

Many of us work full time jobs having to work almost everyday of the year having to get up at early hours in order to do so. If we can do this then can't we pray Salaah 5 times a day for a few short minutes that it takes to pray them? If we really did try then we would not fail in praying our 5 prayers but we decieve ourselves and we end up wasting our lives decieving ourselves and then regret it later on when it is too late! Let us not be of those who will regret it forever!

I'm not saying that we should become saints overnight but what i am saying is that we should at least fulfill our obligations to Allah and that is to establish our 5 times prayers and to keep away from that which Allah has forbidden. If we can't pray the Sunnah and Nafil then we MUST at least pray the Fard as a minimum.

Rather than moulding our life around our Salaah we mould our Salaah around our life so whenever we are sitting around at home then we decide to pray.

We must remember that it is an act of kufr(disbelief) to neglect the Salaah beyond its correct time and this is for missing one Salaah but how many Salaah do we continuously miss day in and day out? Some scholars even say missing Salaah intentionally takes one out of the fold of Islam. This is how serious missing Salaah really is!

Rasulallah (Sallallahu Alaihu Wasallam) said: "What lies between a man and disbelief is the abandonment of prayer." (Muslim)

It is a major sin to miss even one prayer and leaving even one Salaah without a valid excuse is said to cause one to spend tens of thousands of years in Jahannam and on top of that every Salaah missed is VAST rewards missed out which we will never be able to gain back.

Therefore it is SO important that we fulfil ALL of our Salaah and not make excuses as to why we cannot fulfill it because Islam has been made easy for us but it is us who makes it hard upon ourselves and because of the amount of sins that we committ we find it hard to do even simple acts of worship.

Allah has made it so easy for us so let us not make it hard for ourselves and let us not listen to the lame excuses that shaythan and our desires gives us.

Let us not waste a second more for death can approach us at ANY moment and believe me death does not wait for ANYONE! It comes not a second ahead or before its appointed time and if our Salaah is not right then surely we are doomed to destruction.

How limited is our life and how can we really be sure that we will live until tomorrow. We have a 50% chance of dying at any moment and 50% is a huge chance of dying yet we live everyday like we will live forever in this world but we are asleep and so heedless. We do so much for this world and gain wealth, propertys and various other investments but if we die the next day then will this wealth and assets accompany us? The ONLY thing that will come with us is our good deeds. Our good deeds will be our companions in the grave and in the hereafter because they will be there for us when we REALLY need them the most, whereas what we gained in this world will leave us at the point of death.

So is it wise to spend our whole lives working for this world in expense of the next? Are we going to be here for that long that we should do so much for this world and neglect our final destination?

The succession of the night and day teach us an important lesson about this life; what goes will never come back again. This lesson is only understood by the wise people and leads them to invest all of their time in useful things as they realise that these times will never come back again. Once each second, minute, hour and day is gone it will NEVER come back. Yet our seconds go by and we do not even bother to ensure we make the best of how we spend them.

Rasulallah (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) urged us to use our time in a useful way when he said: “Grab five things before five others: your youth before your old age, your health before your illness, your wealth before your poverty, your leisure before your work, and your life before your death.” (Al-Hakim)

He also indicated that we are to be asked about these times and how we invested them in the judgment day. Rasulallah (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “A servants two feet will not move on the Day of Judgement until he is questioned about four (things): His youth, how he spent it, his knowledge, how he acted upon it, his wealth, how he earned it and how he spent it and his body, how he used/wasted it.” ( Al-Tirmidhi)

Worship in ones youth is the best worship that one will do in all of ones lifetime and this is because of the fact that this is the time that one will have the most desires and this is the time when one has passion, drive, determination and energy. The youth must use all of these things in wanting to spend their time pleasing Allah and doing those actions which will benefit them forever and NOT wasting their time in useless talk or meetings and especially on social networks on the internet and video games all of which are of no benefit to one in this world or the next.

So for the youth it is even more crucial NOT to waste ones youth on useless pursuits but in the worship of Allah so that one can be raised on the day of judgement as one who spent their youth in the worship of Allah.

So, whoever used his time for the benefits and pleasures of this life will regret after he died and his remorse will be very great at two times:

When he is dying he will wish that he is given another chance or extension to his life so that he may do good as Allah says:

In Falsehood will they be Until, when death comes to one of them, he says: “O my Lord! send me back (to life),- In order that I may work righteousness in the things I neglected.” By no means! It is but a word he says. Before them is a Partition till the Day they are raised up. (23:99-100)

The key to success in this life and the next is making the hereafter the MOST important thing to us and making it our main focus. If we constantly keep the hereafter as our main focus everyday of our lives and strive as much as we can everyday to ensure that each second is spent on building up our hereafter then we will not go wrong inshallah.

Ibn Masood said: “I have never regretted anything as a day spent of my life without doing good deeds.”

How many days have we had like this where we have completely wasted them? On the day of judgement we would want to go back so that we could gain the HUGE rewards that are available just for saying Subhanallah!

Bilal ibn ass’d once said: if we are asked: ‘‘do you want to die?’’, we answer ‘‘No’’; and if we are asked ‘‘why?’’ we reply ‘‘in order to repent ad do good deeds’’. However if it’s said to us ‘‘Ok then do good deeds’’ we say: ‘‘Yes I will do’’; we keep working for this life everyday and postponing working for the hereafter.

We CANNOT afford to waste a single second in this life wasting it on that which will give us no benefit in this world or the next. Once our focus becomes the hereafter then NOTHING else will matter. Even things that we do in this world like work, study, look after and provide for family, parents, wife children etc will be like worship for us because we will do them for the pleasure of Allah. Even going to the toilet can be a worship if done in accordance with the Sunnah. Our WHOLE life from sleeping, eating, going to sleep and even breathing can become reward and worship with the right intentions so let us not waste a second more.

In the hereafter, when people are rewarded according to their deeds in this life, he wishes if he can go back to this life so he can do good deeds as he has experienced the hardness of punishment. Allah says:

They will say: “Our Lord! Twice hast Thou made us without life, and twice hast Thou given us Life! Now have we recognized our sins: Is there any way out (of this)?” (40:11)

Qatadah said regarding the last verse: By Allah, they don’t wish to go back to their families or clans, to get more of the pleasure of life, or to spend and fulfill their desires. Rather, they wished to return in order to perform and do acts of obedience to Allah - the Almighty -; God have mercy on those who do, in this life, the same good deeds and act of obedience that the unbeliever will wish to do when they meet the punishment in the Judgment Day.

Allah Also says:

But warn them of the Day of Distress, when the matter will be determined: for (behold,) they are negligent and they do not believe! (19:39)

Ibn Kathir provided the following translation for the latter verse:

(And warn them of the Day of grief and regrets) warn the creation of the Day of Distress.

(When the case has been decided) when the people of Paradise and the people of Hell will be sorted out, and everyone will reach his final abode which he was destined to remain in forever.

(While (now) they are) today, in the present life of this world.

(In a state of carelessness) with the warning of the Day of grief and regret, they are heedless.

(And they believe not) meaning they do not believe that it is true.


Imam Ahmad narrted that Abu Sa`id said that the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “When the people of Paradise enter Paradise and the people of the Hellfire enter the Hellfire, death will be brought in the form of a handsome ram and it will be placed between Paradise and the Hellfire.” Then, it will be said, “O people of Paradise, do you know what this is?” Then, they will turn their gazes and look, and they will say, “Yes, this is death.”' Then, it will be said, “O people of the Hellfire, do you know what this is?”' Then, they will turn their gazes and look, and they will say, “Yes, this is death.” Then, the order will be given for it to be slaughtered and it will be said, “O people of Paradise, eternity and no more death, O people of Hellfire, eternity and no more death.” Then the Messenger of Allah recited the previous Ayah; then, the Messenger of Allah made a gesture with his hand and said: “The people of this life are in the state of heedlessness of this life.”

Let us get ourselves out of this heedless state that we are in and let us make our ONLY focus the hereafter so that EVERYTHING we do we do to please Allah. Before we do any action we should just stop and think to ourselves "Is this action going to be of any benefit to me in the hereafter"? If it is not then let us do that which WILL be of benefit to us. This brief moment of reflection will help us throughout our lives because it will prevent us from wasting our precious time and it will enable us to spend our precious seconds pleasing Allah and doing good deeds.

A clever and intelligent person realises that they have such limited time in this world and therefore each second should be spent on doing that which will benefit them in the long term as oppose to in the short term. Short term gains are what we do for this world and long term gains are what we do for the hereafter. Now if we spend our lives living for this world then we will have gains which are so short lived and after we die what will we have for eternity? Whereas if we lived this life to a minimum and spent our entire lives working for the hereafter then we will benefit FOREVER!

This world is like a dream that will end at any moment and in the next world we will wake up from this dream and that is when reality will hit us but by then it will be too late to do anything about it. Our chance to act is NOW! Therefore we CANNOT waste a second more.

Let us spend our time learning about Islam and implementing what we learn into our lives as well as teaching others what we learn as learning is the best of all worship.

Let us enjoin good and forbid evil and give as much dawah as we can inviting people to the way of Allah. Let us attend the Masjid and keep good connection with it so that we can gain a good connection with Allah. Let us keep good and pious company and disregard those who do evil as bad company is like poison for us. Let us sit with the scholars and learned people and those who remember Allah.

Let us spend our time reciting the Qur'an as every letter is so much rewards that we cannot imagine. We will be raised among the levels of Paradise until we stopped reciting the Qur'an in this world. So let us keep reciting so that we can be raised to the highest stages of Paradise. Let us also learn the meanings of what we are reading so that we can understand what Allah is telling us and so that we can implement what Allah is telling us in the Qur'an into our daily lives.

Let us perfect our characters all of the time and whatever we need to change about ourselves for the better then let us constantly work on these things.

Abu Darda (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, "Nothing will be heavier on the Day of Resurrection in the Scale of the believer than good manners. Allah hates one who utters foul or coarse language.''

Let us strive to be the best towards others in conduct and let us serve our parents as much as we can as serving ones parents is better than jihad.

Let us give as much as we can to charity for the pleasure of Allah for we will regret the money we wasted and did not spend in the way of Allah.

Let us also busy ourselves in prayer and much prostrations in the for of nawafil prayers because the more we prostrate to Allah in the form of prayer then the higher our ranks will be in the hereafter.

We should always ask of Allah in dua and know that dua is the weapon of the believer and this weapon should be used as much as possible for all of our duas that are not answered in this world will be stored for us in the hereafter and when we see the reward of those duas we thought were not accepted then we will wish that NONE of our dua's were ever accepted just so that we can gain these HUGE rewards.

We should be of the appreciative and thankful and always thank Allah for everything he has given us because he has done so many favours for us that we can never imagine. Allah gives more to the thankful and increases them in blessings.

-Allah likes those who are thankful [39:7]

-Allah rewards those who are thankful [3:144]

-Allah gives more benefits and blessings to those who are thankful [14:7]

-Allah protects those from harm who render Him thankfulness [54:34-35]


Also let us be patient through trials, hardships and adversities because they will help rid us of sin and it may be that a person who went through much trials in the world would face Allah with little or no sin and imagine how lucky that person would be on a day when we will tremble for the sins we committed in the world. What a terrible day that will be. So we should spend our time in repentance and have hope in the mercy of Allah and at the same time have fear that our repentance and deeds won't be accepted. Hope and fear should always be balanced and one should not have too much hope and one should not have too much fear but strike a balance between the two.

Let us keep our tongues moist with the remembrance and glorification of Allah, How easy is it for us to utter useless words but how much will we regret when we realise that instead of all the useless talk we did in the world we we could have glorified Allah and even one glorification of Allah like Subhanallah and La ilaha ilallah gains one rewards one cannot imagine. It is just that in this world we cannot see these rewards but when we will see the rewards for ourselves on the day of judgement then we will say "Woe to me i wasted my life in useless talk when i could have been glorifying and remembering Allah."

Hadhrat Mu'az [RA] narrated Rasulallah (sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “The Inhabitants of Paradise will not be grief stricken or sorrowful about anything they did in the life of the world except for the time they spent without being in the remembrance of Allah” (Tabaraani)

We can remember Allah where ever we are no matter what we are doing and this is the best thing we can do in our lives is to constantly remain in the remembrance of Allah. If we alwyas have Allah in our hearts then we will do EVERYTHING to please him and refrain from anything that displeases him.

The Prophet of Guidance (sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) told us that remembrance of Allah is the best and the purest deed.

Abu Dardaa narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Shall I tell you of the best and purest of your deeds before your King, the one that elevates your position the most; that is better for you than meeting your enemies whose necks you strike and they also strike your necks, and better than spending gold and silver?” The companions said, “O Yes.” The Prophet (sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) then said, “Remembrance of Allaah, the Exalted.” (Ahmad, Tirmidhi and others).

My brother let us take heed and make the changes in our life NOW for tomorrow may never come and then we will regret the precious short time we have wasted in our lives on useless pursuits.

Let us think before doing any action to ensure that EVERYTING we do we do to please Allah and if it will benefit us in the hereafter then we should do it but if it will only waste our time then we should not do it.

We CANNOT put this off any longer for shaythan will always say to us "You can change after you have done this or after you have done that, You can change next week or tomorrow". But tomorrow may never come so the time to change and act is NOW!

Al-Hasan Al-Basri said: “Seek sweet happiness in three things: performing prayer, Remembering Allah, and reading the Holy Quran. If you find (delight in those three things), it is alright. But if you do not, it means that the door (to Allah’s Love and Mercy) is closed; so search for the reason.”

Another of the righteous men said, “How miserable people of the present world are! They pass away from it without having tasted the most delicious thing therein.” And when he was asked: “What is the most delicious thing therein?”, he said: “Knowing Allah, the Almighty, loving Him, and remembering Him.”

The BEST time to turn towards Allah is in ones youth so turn towards Allah now or regret it FOREVER! NOW is your chance. Choose the right path for that will help you in this life and the next but choose the wrong path and you will suffer in this world and the next.

Choose your friends VERY wisely for you are who your friends are. NEVER hang around with company who commit evils for those evils will eventually influence you and you will end up doing the same. Stick with good and pious friends or those with good characters as they will be your true friends. A friend who commits evil will NEVER be your true friend you mark my words but they will only be poison for you in this world and the next.


So my Brother let us fulfill our very purpose in this life which is to worship Allah. We need to keep reminding ourselves of death and the hereafter and also the greatness of Allah. We need to always remember our time is too short and can go at any second.

Let us NEVER leave another Salah and when we pray then let us imagine we can see Allah and he is watching us pray so it is best to learn the meanings of what we are praying in our Salaah.

Make the best of your youth and NEVER think that you will make it until old age because our death can come at ANY second and you or me could be next.

So this short life is our ONLY chance to make our hereafter for if we waste this life then we will have nothing in the hereafter and the hereafter is eternity and this life is only a very short time. So is it worth ruining the hereafter for only a short time in this world?

With regards to getting rid of masterbation from your life then follow these 12 tips WHOLEHEARTEDLY begging Allah to help you overcome this issue from your life:

12 Tips to Help Control the Evil Habit of Masterbation


1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes. Even if you get tempted, just think of Allah and the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and that Allah is wathcing you at all times and this urge will go away.

2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Shaythan plays with the minds of those who sit around idle and not doing anything. Find good company and stay in this good company. Spend time with your family and close ones(Not Non mahrams) Find good company and stay in this good company.The best company are those who lead you towards good and not those who lead you in the wrong direction. Don't hang around with those girls who talk about sexual things and boys etc.

3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.

4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress and then get out of the bathroom as soon as possible because we are advised in the sunnah not to delay getting changed after a bath. We should dry ourselves and get into doing an act of worship.

5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you. Sleep on your sides and NOT on your front or back. It is forbidden to sleep on your stomach and it is sunnah to sleep on your right side. Do dua's and Zikr until you fall asleep.

6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, get out of bed and go into the kitchen and fix yourself a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you get your mind on something else. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak. If these thoughts come to you in the middle of the night then go and do wudu and pray Tahajjud and make much dua and cry in your dua's of Allah to increase you in imaan (Faith) and to help you resist your desires and to help you get married ASAP.

7. Find out when are your weakest times when your most likely to masterbate or touch yourself. When you have established on what times and occassions this occurs then you can plan what to do to avoid feeling temptations on thos particular occassions.

8. Never read pornographic material especially on the internet as these images will be stored in your head and it will make your problem worse. Try to keep your gaze low at all times. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act inshallah.

9. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good Islamic books, the life of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and his seerah, the life after death. There SO many interesting topics to read and learn about. Make a daily habit of reading at least one juz(Chapter) of Qur'an with its meanings.

Reading the Qur'an everyday with its meanings will bring countless blessings and rewards and bring you closer to Allah as well as keep you busy and occupied therefore keeping your mind off this problem.

10. Make much dua. But when you make dua don't just make dua about this problem, for that will tend to keep it in your mind more than ever. Make dua for increase of your iman(faith), Make dua for understanding of the Islam and the Qur'an, Make dua for your family and ALL Muslims especially the ones that are being oprressed, Pray for the sick and that we all unite as one. keep the problem out of your mind by not mentioning it ever --not in conversation with others, not inso much in your dua's. keep it out of your mind because if you keep mentioning it then it will stay in your mind!

11. Fast. You may have tried it before and it did'nt work but how can it work if we don't change our eating habits? If we eat little just to satisfy our stomachs then our fasting will be effective and restrict our sexual urges and capability's. But if we carry on over eating after our fasts then that food will impact on the stomach which will impact on our desires. So restrict the amount you eat before and after fasting and you will feel the benefits of fasting to stop your urges.

12. Finally the best solution of all- GET MARRIED. Give some urgency to your family about the need for you to get married sooner rather than later. Tell them of the benefits of getting married early and that it is a sunnah as the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) recommended it as it will help avoid haraam(Forbidden) relations with non mahrams and getting married early will help eradicate this problem and mean that one can indulge in their sexual urges and desires legitamatley as well as recieve reward for it. The main reason why there is so many haraam relations out there is for the fact that our families are not getting their children married early enough as the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) advised.


You can read more here:


How to overcome Masterbation

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthread.php?t=134303736


May Allah keep us away form anything that angers and displeases him. Ameen



In regards to waking up for Fajr Salaah then you must take the following steps:

1. Try to sleep as early as possible if you do not need to do anything imortant after Isha Salaah because the earlier you sleep the easier it will be to wake up for Fajr

2. Try not to have any heavy meals in the evening as this will make it harder for you to wake up for Fajr

3. Try to encourage your family to also wake up for Fajr and tell them of the importance of Salaah as well as the fact that it is the purpose of our creation. If your family wakes up for Fajr then it will also be easier for you as they would also wake you up. If one or two of your family members do wake up for Fajr then tell them to also wake you up.

4. Make firm intention in your heart that you will wake up for Fajr no matter what and ask of Allah in your dua to make it easy for you to wake up for Fajr prayer.

5. Put on two or even three alarms and put them on 5 minutes apart and put them in places in your room where you know it will be a struggle getting to them. This way you will have to be wide awake to get to the alarms. As there will be three of them this will prevent you going back to bed again.

6. Most importantly when you awaken for Fajr then do NOT say to yourself i'll lay for a bit and then get up. This is the biggest trick of shaythan to make us fall asleep and miss Fajr prayer. As soon as the eyes are open then go straight to the bathroom.


Here are some very beneficial lectures which you should listen to, to increase your imaan and fear of Allah:


Remembrance: ask Allah for his forgiveness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-EK9r3rMzQ


AMAZING short speech -"The Goodly Life"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fugf1DcNyc



Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA


HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc


Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE

Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo

How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg


If you need any help, advice or anything at all then please do not hesitate to ask. Please remember me in your duas.

and Allah knows best in all matters