What is the ideal Muslim husband?

[sabr*]

dont be a Nazi? (Are you ok?)

if you dont want your wife to study, educate her
if you dont want your wife to drive, take her places
if you dont want your wife to see friends, talk to her. make sure that your wife has company, otherwise dont complain when she talks too much.
if you dont want to pay for her food/essentials, let her go out and buy her own food/essentials


if you forbid anything from your wife unjustfully, dont forbid your wife from going out and seeking her own means. if you had an animal, and you didn't feed it, etc would you be cruel as to not even let it attain its own means of living/survival.<---if you cant do that to an animal, then a human being takes more priority.

As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

Ummu Sufyaan​

The question of What is the ideal Muslim husband promoting your unrelated response reveals other issues that can not be resolved via the Islamic board. Go visit your local Masjid and consult the Imam.

We promote the rights Allah has given women. We are not oppressive in any of our threads towards women. We speak against cultural and tribal habits disguised as Islam and accept the usual backlash.

This thread was created with the best intentions and hope that all positive replies will enhance the thread and not disrupt it with off the wall posts that incites negative responses.

Sahih Bukkari Volume 4, Book 55, Number 548:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah 's Apostle said, "Treat women nicely, for a women is created from a rib, and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely."

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam
it was a figure a speech, implying that one (a husband) shouldn't be oppressive.

 

[TerrorStillAliv]

Obiously Afghan and Saudi men are the perfection

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

^meaning?
.....

 

[Banu_Hashim]

Obiously Afghan and Saudi men are the perfection

Is it their cool head and calm disposition?? I knew it.

 

[sabr*]

As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

I guess we missed the joke thread. It only takes a few to disrupt a positive thread submitted with the best intentions.


Fatir (The Originator of Creation) 35:6

إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ لَكُمْ عَدُوٌّ فَاتَّخِذُوهُ عَدُوًّا إِنَّمَا يَدْعُو حِزْبَهُ لِيَكُونُوا مِنْ أَصْحَابِ السَّعِيرِ (35:6)
​

Inna alshshaytana lakum AAaduwwun faittakhithoohu AAaduwwan innama yadAAoo hizbahu liyakoonoo min ashabi alssaAAeeri</B>

[FONT=Verdana,Arial]35:6 (Y. Ali) Verily Satan is an enemy to you: so treat him as an enemy. He only invites his adherents, that they may become Companions of the Blazing Fire. ​

Jazakumullahu Khair[/FONT]

 

[sabr*]

As Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):


Being the best ideal Muslim husband is like anything else it requires work and regular maintenance.


If a person has a automobile and neglects it she can expect it to breakdown.

The ideal Muslim husband acknowledges they are not perfect and it requires a constant refinement
to be the best person he can be.


If many Muslims omit the cultural and tribal brainwashing and indoctrination Islam will be the only principals
left to implement.


Jazakumullahu Khair


This post was submitted with the best intentions and the best construction should be used when reading it.

 

[ProudMuslimSis]

Re: What is the ideal Muslim Husband?

(2) "Mahr "

The wife is entitled to a marriage gift that is her own. This may be prompt or deferred depending on the agreement between the parties. A marriage is not valid without mahr. It does not have to be money or gold. It can be non-material like teaching her to read the Qur'an. " Mahr" is a gift from the groom to the bride. This is the Islamic law, unlike some cultures whereby the brides parents pay the future husband to marry the daughter. This practice degrades women and is contrary to the spirit of Islam. There is no specification in the Qur'an as to what or how much the Mahr has to be. It depends on the parties involved.


​

This is to protect the wife and children in case the marriage does not last, correct?

 

[sabr*]

Re: What is the ideal Muslim Husband?

This is to protect the wife and children in case the marriage does not last, correct?

As Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

Ukhti ProudMuslimSis:

the following is an explanation of Mahr and also a link detailing it in-depth. Hope this provides the information
you seek. Insha Allah


What is the Mahr?

The mahr is a compulsory part of an Islamic marriage contract. The other words for mahr generally used in the Qur'an are sadaqah and ajr, meaning reward or gift to the bride in which there is profit but no loss, and faridah, literally that which has been made obligatory, or an appointed portion. Allah commanded: 'Give women their faridah as a free gift.' (4:4) (Unfortunately the word is frequently incorrectly translated as 'dowry).

It is a gift of money, possessions or property made by the husband to the wife, which becomes her exclusive property. It is an admission of her independence, for she becomes the owner of the money or property immediately, even though she may have owned nothing before. It has nothing to do with either of their parents, except that a husband might need to take a loan. This should only be done with the intention of repayment. It is also intended as a token of the husband's willing acceptance of the responsibility of bearing all the necessary expenses of his wife.

Even if the wife owned no property or money of her own before her marriage, she is given this money or property when she marries so that she commences her married life in her new status with money or property of her own. The wife gives herself and her services to her husband, and in return he gives her property to own herself, even if she had nothing before, and pledges that he will maintain her. Muslim women are placed in charge of the internal arrangement of the household, while Muslim men are responsible for its financing (even if the wife earns her own money subsequent to her marriage).

The Prophet gave each of his wives a payment of mahr, ranging from token sums, the granting of freedom from slavery when being made a wife, to the payment of 400-500 dirhams. His wife Umm Habibah's mahr consisted of 4000 dirhams, this sum having been fixed by Najashi, the Negus (a Christian ruler) of Abyssinia. (Abu Dawud, Kitab an-Nikah, 2:235).

There was in fact no fixed upper limit for mahr. Allah required the provision to depend upon the circumstances of the husband:

'…the wealthy according to his means, and the straitened in circumstances according to his means. The gift of a reasonable amount is necessary from those who wish to act in the right way.' (2:236).

In a famous case, the second Caliph, Umar b. al-Khattab, once gave a public sermon in which he asked the congregation to refrain from fixing heavy mahrs, and stated that the Prophet had declared no-one should give more than 400 dirhams. A woman immediately stood up and challenged him, quoting the verse 4:20 from the Qur'an: 'But if you decide to take a wife in place of another, even if you had given the first a heap of gold (quintar) for a dowry, you shall not take the least bit back.' Umar went back to the minbar and withdrew his words stating 'the woman is right, and Umar is wrong. Whoever wishes may give as much property as he wishes to give.' (Ibn Hajar al-Athqalani, Fath al-Bari, 9:167).

source: http://www.islamfortoday.com/ruqaiyyah07.htm

 

[CosmicPathos]

I think it is not wise to start attacking people's cultures and values in disguise of Islamic puritanism. Culture is an inherent part of one's humanity. Allah swt has acknowledged this by saying in Quran that he created people in different groups. Culture is one part of what makes us different. No culture is immoral, it is people's actions that are immoral. So to go on a rampage on criticizing people's cultures and identities does not have any hikma in it, it only makes people angry and away from Islam. I have seen all over the internet on Islamic websites "desi culture is worst culture," or "arab culture is trash" or "immigrants parents should not bring their culture baggage (I heard Yes-Sir Qadhi say this!), this is pure non-sense.

I hope my point was clear.

best.

 

[sabr*]

I think it is not wise to start attacking people's cultures and values in disguise of Islamic puritanism. Culture is an inherent part of one's humanity. Allah swt has acknowledged this by saying in Quran that he created people in different groups. Culture is one part of what makes us different. No culture is immoral, it is people's actions that are immoral. So to go on a rampage on criticizing people's cultures and identities does not have any hikma in it, it only makes people angry and away from Islam. I have seen all over the internet on Islamic websites "desi culture is worst culture," or "arab culture is trash" or "immigrants parents should not bring their culture baggage (I heard Yes-Sir Qadhi say this!), this is pure non-sense.

I hope my point was clear.

best.

As Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

Akhi mad_scientist:

When cultural and tribal biases prevent the implementation and application of the Quran and Sunnah it
becomes a major problem. Which is what we address and refer.

Nationalism is a disease in the Ummah.

Reread several times the following ayah.
________________________________________________


Al-An'am (The Cattle) 6:159

إِنَّ الَّذِينَ فَرَّقُواْ دِينَهُمْ وَكَانُواْ شِيَعًا لَّسْتَ مِنْهُمْ فِي شَيْءٍ إِنَّمَا أَمْرُهُمْ إِلَى اللّهِ ثُمَّ يُنَبِّئُهُم بِمَا كَانُواْ يَفْعَلُونَ (6:159)

Inna allatheena farraqoo deenahum wakanoo shiyaAAan lasta minhum fee shayin innama amruhum ila Allahi thumma yunabbiohum bima kanoo yafAAaloona

6:159 (Y. Ali) As for those who divide their religion and break up into sects, thou hast no part in them in the least: their affair is with Allah. He will in the end tell them the truth of all that they did.

________________________________________________

Ar-Rum (The Romans) 30:22

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ خَلْقُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ وَاخْتِلَافُ أَلْسِنَتِكُمْ وَأَلْوَانِكُمْ إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّلْعَالِمِينَ (30:22)

Wamin ayatihi khalqu alssamawati waalardi waikhtilafu alsinatikum waalwanikum inna fee thalika laayatin lilAAalimeena

30:22 (Y. Ali) And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the variations in your languages and your colours: verily in that are Signs for those who know.
________________________________________________

Al-Hujurat (The Dwellings) 49:13

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَى وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ (49:13)

Ya ayyuha alnnasu inna khalaqnakum min thakarin waontha wajaAAalnakum shuAAooban waqabaila litaAAarafoo inna akramakum AAinda Allahi atqakum inna Allaha AAaleemun khabeerun

49:13 (Y. Ali) O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).


Jazakumullahu Khair

 

[kingkong]

This "ideal husband" thread is now 8 pages long. Yet I don't see an "ideal wife" thread opened. A reflection of how picky women are as a posed to men?

 

[LauraS]

This "ideal husband" thread is now 8 pages long. Yet I don't see an "ideal wife" thread opened. A reflection of how picky women are as a posed to men?

This thread was started by a man and half the posts are from men...also I'm sure there's an ideal wife thread somewhere, I remember reading it. :/

A man who is kind and has a sense of humour and adventure is good enough for me.

I can't speak for Islamic marriages obviously but from the impression I get reading this thread, your wife has a mind too. Don't just think of her as a pet to be kept happy. Some of these quotes talk about women's jealousies and faults, that they must be treated with patience but men are sometimes in the wrong too. I've mentioned this just on another thread, we're women not children. I don't mean this to spark an argument, it's just the impression that gets created by some of these quotes even if they have the best of intentions.

 

[sabr*]

The thread was started by a practicing Muslim

This thread was started by a man and half the posts are from men...also I'm sure there's an ideal wife thread somewhere, I remember reading it. :/

A man who is kind and has a sense of humour and adventure is good enough for me.

I can't speak for Islamic marriages obviously but from the impression I get reading this thread, your wife has a mind too. Don't just think of her as a pet to be kept happy. Some of these quotes talk about women's jealousies and faults, that they must be treated with patience but men are sometimes in the wrong too. I've mentioned this just on another thread, we're women not children. I don't mean this to spark an argument, it's just the impression that gets created by some of these quotes even if they have the best of intentions.

Peace be to you LauraS:

it was unfortunate to review your response that this thread being started by a man and the majority of the responses
being by men some how compromised the integrity of the thread and content.

The truth and a quality of a thread or post shouldn't be determined by gender but merit and truth.

If you feel that the women are under represented then start private messaging and ask the women why.
This thread or the contents may not interest everyone.

Review our threads. We highlight the rights that the one and only creator of all existence have granted women.
The thread of what is an Ideal Muslim Women didn't receive the same response as this thread that encouraged
you to contribute.

We extend the best to you in your spiritual journey and quest for knowledge and truth.

Thank you for your contribution to this thread.

 

[LauraS]

Re: The thread was started by a practicing Muslim

Peace be to you LauraS:

it was unfortunate to review your response that this thread being started by a man and the majority of the responses
being by men some how compromised the integrity of the thread and content.

The truth and a quality of a thread or post shouldn't be determined by gender but merit and truth.

If you feel that the women are under represented then start private messaging and ask the women why.
This thread or the contents may not interest everyone.

Review our threads. We highlight the rights that the one and only creator of all existence have granted women.
The thread of what is an Ideal Muslim Women didn't receive the same response as this thread that encouraged
you to contribute.

We extend the best to you in your spiritual journey and quest for knowledge and truth.

Thank you for your contribution to this thread.

Hello, I was responding to the poster king kong who said that there were no threads about the ideal wife so women we being too picky.

 

[Cabdullahi]

i've learned that if you aint cute, they'll always see you as a mule

 

[sabr*]

i've learned that if you aint cute, they'll always see you as a mule

As Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

Akhi thequietone:

being cute is subjective and based upon cultural likes and dislikes.

A heavyset person man or woman in certain parts of the world could be considered the best mate
because they are thought of culturally as well feed, good provider, etc.

In other parts of the world being heavyset is considered unhealthy with future health
issues to follow like diabetes, heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, cancer, gallbladder disease,
breathing issues (asthma, sleep apnea, etc)

Culture plays a key role in the way people view beauty. Everyone doesn't view Queen Rania,
Asma al-Assad, Aicha Gathafi, Megawati Sukarnoputri, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Megan Fox,
Kim Kardashian, Jessica Alba or Holly Berry (Wait) as beautiful.

So that is why it is important to have strong Iman and Taqwa.

We perform du'a that Allah blesses us with a spouse with Taqwa, Iman, Good Character and least of all
a good appearance. We like a healthy combination of good qualities in a potential spouse.

Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.

 

[Who Am I?]

Right, well not having read through the other 7 pages of this thread, I thought I would jump in anyway. I hope the landing isn't too rough...

Anyway, I'm not sure there is any one answer to this question. I used to really wonder about what women wanted, and I tried to figure it out so that I could be "that guy". Well, in so doing, I wasn't really being true to myself, first of all, and second, there is no one "perfect man" out there. Everyone is different, and everyone has different tastes. What one woman likes another may not like. That is something I've had to learn the hard way over the years.

Not pertaining to Islam I know, but then I don't have enough experience or knowledge on that subject. Just general advice as one man to another.

That's my contribution to the thread. Take it for what it's worth.

 

[إحسان]

Personally, I'd love my husband to a Muslim man who fears Allah, respects and is kind to others and thoughtful. InshAllah... I mean if someone fears Allah, then he'd won't hesitate to repent and Allah loves repentance.

 

[sabr*]

Personally, I'd love my husband to a Muslim man who fears Allah, respects and is kind to others and thoughtful. InshAllah... I mean if someone fears Allah, then he'd won't hesitate to repent and Allah loves repentance.

As Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

Ukhti *dua:

Having the capacity to apply tauba (repentance) is a good quality to seek in a future husband. We perform du'a that
you are united with that mate. Insha Allah