Salaam
An engaging article, thought I'd share
Ask how not why
Gail is no stranger to depression, so she finds the psychiatrist’s advice puzzling. He suggests that instead of wondering why she feels powerless and sad, she concentrate on how she experiences these feelings.
She casts her mind back to her last bout of depression, when she spent an entire Sunday sitting at home, unable to get off the sofa. All the time, she was over-whelmed by self-criticism. ‘The reason I’m feeling so awful is because I’ve made so many bad choices in my life. I shouldn’t have gone into sales, I’m not cut out for it. And that’s how I met that guy who dumped me. And now it’s too late to have a child…’
Anxious to avoid another bout of depression, Gail’s come to listen to a therapist from the psychology department of Louvain University in Belgium. He suggests a new approach: to avoid both dark thoughts and temporary distractions, neither confront the feelings nor avoid them.
His instructions are simple: ‘Sit on the edge of a chair with your back straight and your hands resting on your thighs. Fix your attention on the physical sensations of your body and on finding an image or word that best describes the nature of those feelings. If thoughts come into your mind unbidden, observe them and let them fade. Then look out for the next thought or image that follows on, but don’t judge it as good or bad, simply note it.
‘If you become aware you’ve let yourself be drawn into a chain of thought, bring your attention back to your breathing and observe what new flow of thoughts is taking the place of the last. It’s all about learning to be conscious of what’s happening here and now. Don’t worry about why you feel what you feel, or why you think what you think, concentrate on how.’
Gail notes that when she focuses her attention on the physical symptoms of depression, or observes an anxious thought without letting it take hold, the depression gradually lifts. She understands that she is not her depression, but her depression is only one part of her. In the same way, the Navajo Indians don’t say ‘I am depressed’, but ‘My spirit is accompanied by sorrow’. Ask how instead of why – so simple, and yet so important.
That little word ‘how’ is like a kind gesture that opens the door to deeper understanding. At Cambridge University, professor John D Teasdale showed that patients who had suffered several episodes of depression could learn to develop this kind of trust and understanding of themselves. He showed it was possible to reduce the rate of relapse by more than 50 per cent – a success rate comparable to antidepressants. We all need to develop this depth of understanding, of ourselves and others. All we have to do is avoid the intimidating ‘why?’ and offer our trust with the kindly enquiry, ‘how?’
http://www.psychologies.co.uk/self/ask-how-not-why/
An engaging article, thought I'd share
Ask how not why
Gail is no stranger to depression, so she finds the psychiatrist’s advice puzzling. He suggests that instead of wondering why she feels powerless and sad, she concentrate on how she experiences these feelings.
She casts her mind back to her last bout of depression, when she spent an entire Sunday sitting at home, unable to get off the sofa. All the time, she was over-whelmed by self-criticism. ‘The reason I’m feeling so awful is because I’ve made so many bad choices in my life. I shouldn’t have gone into sales, I’m not cut out for it. And that’s how I met that guy who dumped me. And now it’s too late to have a child…’
Anxious to avoid another bout of depression, Gail’s come to listen to a therapist from the psychology department of Louvain University in Belgium. He suggests a new approach: to avoid both dark thoughts and temporary distractions, neither confront the feelings nor avoid them.
His instructions are simple: ‘Sit on the edge of a chair with your back straight and your hands resting on your thighs. Fix your attention on the physical sensations of your body and on finding an image or word that best describes the nature of those feelings. If thoughts come into your mind unbidden, observe them and let them fade. Then look out for the next thought or image that follows on, but don’t judge it as good or bad, simply note it.
‘If you become aware you’ve let yourself be drawn into a chain of thought, bring your attention back to your breathing and observe what new flow of thoughts is taking the place of the last. It’s all about learning to be conscious of what’s happening here and now. Don’t worry about why you feel what you feel, or why you think what you think, concentrate on how.’
Gail notes that when she focuses her attention on the physical symptoms of depression, or observes an anxious thought without letting it take hold, the depression gradually lifts. She understands that she is not her depression, but her depression is only one part of her. In the same way, the Navajo Indians don’t say ‘I am depressed’, but ‘My spirit is accompanied by sorrow’. Ask how instead of why – so simple, and yet so important.
That little word ‘how’ is like a kind gesture that opens the door to deeper understanding. At Cambridge University, professor John D Teasdale showed that patients who had suffered several episodes of depression could learn to develop this kind of trust and understanding of themselves. He showed it was possible to reduce the rate of relapse by more than 50 per cent – a success rate comparable to antidepressants. We all need to develop this depth of understanding, of ourselves and others. All we have to do is avoid the intimidating ‘why?’ and offer our trust with the kindly enquiry, ‘how?’
http://www.psychologies.co.uk/self/ask-how-not-why/
however there is many people who have been abused as children and are in exactly the same predicament, not just abused children even rape victims. I find the way to deal with such injustices is to tell myself that I will receive justice in the next life.
