Not allowing your wife to contribute financially?

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kingkong

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Is this common where you are and how would the sisters react and handle the situation if their husband had no issues with them working, so long as she didn't spend a penny on him, the house or the children etc. Ie he pays for bills, tax, insurance, children's clothes and other shopping.

I know a guy who was on the verge of divorce because his wife decided to pay one of the bills. In the end he paid her the money back and she decided to never contribute anything for the home again.
 
kingkong said:
I know a guy who was on the verge of divorce because his wife decided to pay one of the bills. In the end he paid her the money back and she decided to never contribute anything for the home again.
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haha I wouldn't go that far but I respect him for fulfilling his duties
 
I know a guy who was on the verge of divorce because his wife decided to pay one of the bills
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Wow...

...I'm shocked that such helpful and considerate wives still exist. :p
 
I think that dudes a tad bit dramatic, on the verge of divorce cause your wife helped out financially (once)? Ego alert!

Yes in Islam a woman doesn't have to spend her income on her husband but I imagine if need be any sane woman would!
 
If it's necessary, why not? If I were married and my husband was struggling to pay the bills, and we are about to be homeless and I had money to help pay the bills then I would! Why let him run around stressed out and worried when the problem could be solved with a simple contribution from the wife? It's OUR family.

I think that is very silly for that one guy to be on the verge of divorce because she helped him pay a bill. It's OK to get help. I'd much rather the wife pay a bill then take out a haraam loan or something to get by.

This is one of the things that's interesting to me coming from Christianity to Islam. In Christianity, it's expected of the wife to contribute to the family finances 50/50. I can work. I don't mind. And I don't expect my husband to do everything for me in that way. Especially not in this day and age when it's very difficult to get a high paying job to afford a family. I'm OK with chipping in.
 
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kingkong said:
Is this common where you are and how would the sisters react and handle the situation if their husband had no issues with them working, so long as she didn't spend a penny on him, the house or the children etc. Ie he pays for bills, tax, insurance, children's clothes and other shopping.

I know a guy who was on the verge of divorce because his wife decided to pay one of the bills. In the end he paid her the money back and she decided to never contribute anything for the home again.
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More or less in Islam its the mans job to provide the food and stuff but if the wife wants to help then there is no problem. I think the brother here was doing the duty he is supposed to however the weird thing is why allow her to work, if she can't contribute financially? Unless she volunteer works something different. It would be good sense that the Husband pays biills/gets foot etc and wife gets the kids stuff, but not allowing her to do that, then no point in her working for money....well she could just earn it for charity...:omg:
 
Male pride , he might feel hes not the provider if he accepts help from his wife.


I actually heard of someone like that, where his wife had money, but he needed money, so he asked his sister for it .
 
:sl:

kingkong said:
Is this common where you are and how would the sisters react and handle the situation if their husband had no issues with them working, so long as she didn't spend a penny on him, the house or the children etc. Ie he pays for bills, tax, insurance, children's clothes and other shopping.
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No problem. In fact, I'd find it strange if my husband-to-be did accept money from me for basic living expenses if he's healthy and capable of working. In my opinion a woman giving money to a man for no reason (i.e. he's healthy) can make him lazy and feel less "leader".
 
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Asiyah3 said:
In my opinion a woman giving money to a man for no reason (i.e. he's healthy) can make him lazy and feel less "leader".
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Ditto. I know someone who refuses to pay some of the bills, and he and his wife have to split the bills as to whose paying what. :hmm:
 
wow, the brother ma sha' Allah ...
but i believe nothing wrong if the wife contributes financially! yeah it's the husband duty, but nothing wrong if the wife can help!
if the husband helped the wife cleaning the house will she ask him to divorce her! no i think she will fly from joy !

in my society, it's common for the wife to help her husband financially. actually these days one of the prerequisites for finding a wife is "she must be working". [i hate this request :hmm:]
 
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kingkong said:
I know a guy who was on the verge of divorce because his wife decided to pay one of the bills. In the end he paid her the money back and she decided to never contribute anything for the home again.
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its good that the guy feels his duty although he went into an extreme..

around me "working women" thing is not common so a women usually goes out for work only when there is some serious financial needs at home..
 
Salam alaikkum,

As many agreed its all about ego or pride, he could have warn her but not threat with divorce. Oh let's not judge, maybe the man is not serious with his talks.

I am working since 8yrs old, we are bless with very good careers alhamdollelah, my husband pays for his mom's & younger brother's (etc) main living requirements, so I dont ask him to pay our house rents (my reasons are Im paying my own before we met & also I am not staying at home to cook for him or arrange his personal things etc, I am not a housewife although its not woman's duty to clean or cook) but he provides the food, and he has also ego that is not to accept a single penny from me for his personal use or the so called milking thing, its not his practise.

I like to be responsible, it gives purpose to life, keeps you going and gives many reasons why I have to attend my work on daily basis.
I pray to make charities till I die from my own sweat. Even with this I know we can never return the favours of Allah.
Besides works makes the woman less material for she know how hard it is to earn dinars. I am supporting my parents too on monthly basis + I am glad Allah made me an instrument to send my brother to open heart surgery 2yrs ago, I was like 23 (till now i cant believe with my very eye that he had an operation already, alhamdollelah). Neither my bros or sis help in this & I hope I will have many more opportunities to contribute (no, no more sick inshallah)

A woman can do many things too, she can contribute alot, with the will of Allah, and a supporting & uncontrolling husband is a gift. Alhamdollelah
 
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I have decided that I will take a similar course of action. Notify the girl's family that I am a man and I will pay for everything, if it comes to a point where I'm struggling, I will never ever use or allow her to use her money on anything remotely related to one of my responsibilities.

I could never live with the shame, I would rather live a life of misery and struggles than live one with the shame of having money spent on these things by the wife.

Recently the in laws asked if I wanted anything or needed any help with things like furniture or electrical goods ie washing machines. I still shake my head in disappointment, why would you hand over your daughter to a guy if you don't think he can afford that lifestyle?
 
innocent said:
Did you mean 18?
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Salam Alaikkum Sister

Yes it is 8yrs old (part time) and I was studying at the same time, I can say I had full time work at age of around 10.

However I had Official work with a contract at age of 16+ (same company till today)
 
:sl:


If I was a disabled brother who can’t fulfil his duty or I was made redundant or whatever reason and my wife helped me? I would be extremely upset by this thread.

But you already have an ego right? So no surprise there, I mean like you said in previous thread, you are all righteous and you (and your family) have (and did) the right to beat the s*** out of relative that commit infidelity. Despite we (Muslim) should not take the law into your hands. I thought your ego stop there but is happens to extent to all aspect of your life.

BTW the husband should be provider in all aspect of the women’s life not just financially. If finance was the only responsibility then women should happily stayed with their father who was already supporting them!

This thread goes to show how low our generation is. My granddad had no problems with my grandma helping him around the farm directly contributing to his income and there was no shame in that.

LOL @ on the verge of divorce…
 
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I view marriage as a partnership, you should work together as a team, if the wife wants to help out then alhamdulilah for being blessed with a wife who is able to give, life is all about giving and taking, there will also be times when she will not be able to fulfil the husbands rights so the husband must give a little, we're only human at the end of the day and our destiny is out of our hands, sometimes men get made redundant from their job, if the wife chooses to help out till he gets another job I don't think there's anything wrong with it unless he is taking the micky and not even trying to find a job and just sits at home all day living off his wife, but if he's genuinely trying to go out and work and provide and the wife has to help out untill he's able to I don't think there's anything wrong, conversely there will also be times when she is too tired to fulfil her duties as a wife so the husband can be understanding and not expect her to be super women. It's all about giving and taking I think.
 

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