Assalamu-alaikum,
I think I can speak from standing on both sides of this fence:
Being the woman who covered her hair.....but otherwise dressed in jeans/ skirts/ dresses, etc (perhaps not figure hugging - but attractive enough to earn compliments, etc.).....to the one who is now in full hijab (and in niqab on the weekends (since this week
) -Alhamdulillah!)
And looking back - I can understand why this was so.
In fact, I only started covering my hair on a full-time basis, after returning from umrah.
Alhamdulillah - just spending a few weeks in that blessed land was enough to turn my heart for the better.
But still too, even after that life-changing trip - I could not give up the rest of my attire.
Why?
Well, firstly - I actually didnt consider my way of dressing as being 'wrong'.
Coming from a non-religious background, just covering my hair was breaking away from my 'norm'.
And - unless you actually spend the time in acquiring knowledge in deen, its quite easy to continue along lifes course, just being content that you are doing ok.
Secondly:
I hate to admit this, but I actually enjoyed being the one to turn heads, be admired, get compliments, etc.
I think that this is the nature of many women.
In fact, is this not how society at large operates? - men are the admirers, women are the ones admired......and sub-consciously, most women enjoy this sort of attention.
And I used to tell myself - I can be in 'hijab', but still look attractive.....clearly the actual concept of hijab flew right over my head at the time
And finally.....and I think this is the most important reason:
I was doing it for the wrong reasons.
Yes, I wanted to fulfill 'obligations' in my deen.....but at the same time, I was seeking this dunya as well.
And this only happens when you are following the commands of Allah - as a
duty......rather than stemming from an
understanding, and
love for your Rabb and His messenger (sallahu alaihi wasalam).
When something is done as a duty -
- It becomes a chore.
- You question 'why' - often.
- You look for loopholes to support your wishes.
But when the same action is done out of love....(and perhaps also fear):
- Then, you can see no other way.
- When you realise that you have been in error - you change your ways immediately and completely......Yes, you may feel the pangs of pain of letting go of a bad habit.....but the sweetness of knowing that you are now pleasing your Lord makes it all worthwhile.
- You
REGRET.....for ever being so blinded in the past.
- And you sincerely intend never to make the same errors in life again.
We need to build our understanding......and our LOVE for Allah (subhanawata'ala) and His messenger (sallalahu alaihi wasalam).
And actually mean it.
Alhamdulillah -
then, how EASY and FULFILLING this deen really becomes.
Finally, my actual point to this post is that:
Dont ever lose hope on those who seem to have gone astray.....who may be only half-fulfilling their ibaadat......whose intentions at present do not seem complete.
Imaan is a journey.....some get to the peak of taqwa very early in life; whilst some much later.....and unfortunately - others never get the chance to taste its sweetness.
Its our duty to gently show them the right way.
And make duaa for them.
And insha Allah - their hearts will turn as well.
The fact that one is heading in the right direction in the first place - may be a good sign.
Every step we take towards Allah, is one step away from Shaytaan, and vice versa.
Salaam
