A new way of dressing

[nfnmcmd]

Asalaamualaikum.

Please explain why I see Sisters with tight clothing, bare necks, heavy makeup and smelling of perfume in Masjid? I realize we all come from different places but arent we all to follow what is mandated?

 

[TrueStranger]

Because the women's section is completely separate from the men's section and the Shiekh does not even know what is going on the Female's side of the masjid. There really aren't any religious leaders that are correcting the sisters who are coming to the masjid.

Personally, I avoid masjids these days.

 

[nfnmcmd]

Thank you for your response. I dont know anyone. I need communication with others to learn. And, being new, I absolutely have no friends. How does a new Shahada meet others if not in Masjid?

 

[CosmicPathos]

Are you in touch with your family members? Any of them Muslims?

Do you live in downtown or out in boroughs? Is there heavy Muslim population there?

 

[nfnmcmd]

I have no family so to speak. My family disowned me when I was a teenager. It seems that I didnt get the gene that made me see peoples color. I am told that there is about 75,000 Muslims in the Phoenix area. Right now I am staying temporarily at a Sisters ranch, way out of the city. But I go into the city to look for work and will live there

 

[TrueStranger]

Thank you for your response. I dont know anyone. I need communication with others to learn. And, being new, I absolutely have no friends. How does a new Shahada meet others if not in Masjid?

I understand what you mean. It's difficult for reverts to dive into the Muslim community. Is there another revert sister in your Masjid? I wish I still lived in Arizona, but we moved like back in 2001.

You will defiantly see different people with various personalities, ways of practicing Islam, and diversity in dressing in the mosque. Don't let that confuse you. Not everyone comes with the full package. So just take the good from everyone and leave behind what appears to be doubtful. I don't think most people understand the struggles a new revert has to deal with, especially when it comes to redefining their identity. And this is the kind of problems I have with the mosques, no one usually addresses the domestic matters of the community. I usually attain a Mosque that is for University students, and there are growing number of new reverts, but most people do not even think there is a problem some reverts face.

I promise to be more open and more welcoming to new reverts. I will go out of my way to make them feel welcomed.

 

[nfnmcmd]

Alhamdulillah! Thank you Sister. We learn from each other and grow together to please Allah!

 

[Beardo]

Asalaamualaikum.

Please explain why I see Sisters with tight clothing, bare necks, heavy makeup and smelling of perfume in Masjid? I realize we all come from different places but arent we all to follow what is mandated?

Because you have eyes.

Because people are still developing themselves and coming towards Islam. Some are simply unaware and others are struggling to find their identity. However, we all grow at our own pace. As Muslims, we do not tease, mock, or look down upon them. Rather, we show them affection, compassion, and treat them like the humans that they are.

 

[nfnmcmd]

I am new Shahada. I am not judging anyone. I am just asking questions so I can learn.

 

[MustafaMc]

It is best to not be too critical of others for their seemingly loose application of Islamic principles to their lives. We are each unique and run the full gamut of strictness to looseness in our own day-to-day following of the sunnah. Even within one's own life his faith goes up and down over time. My wife dresses quite modestly although she wears all western style clothes and hijab only for prayer. I would rather she wore the hijab in public, but she is uncomfortable with that at this point in time. Although there is no compulsion in religion, I believe that the fathers, brothers and husbands of these sisters may be partly to blame regarding leadership and guidance for them.

 

[Jalal~]

Because you have eyes.

Because people are still developing themselves and coming towards Islam. Some are simply unaware and others are struggling to find their identity. However, we all grow at our own pace. As Muslims, we do not tease, mock, or look down upon them. Rather, we show them affection, compassion, and treat them like the humans that they are.

well said man! i should think like this more often. But i have a question, is it wrong to develop way too fast? i think i may have made that mistake a while back.

 

[nfnmcmd]

Why the hostility? I am come here to learn and hear opinions. I am not here to judge anyone

 

[MustafaMc]

As Muslims, we do not tease, mock, or look down upon them. Rather, we show them affection, compassion, and treat them like the humans that they are.

This is true, but we are also supposed to command the good and forbid the evil. The sister made a valid point and we must remember that she too is learning. The hijab is much more than putting a scarf over one's head, but some sisters either don't understand that or they don't really care about modesty. I believe it is in women's nature to make herself appealing to men and the Islamic hijab is a means to guard against this inclination. In the same manner men naturally want to look at beautiful women and Islam provides an answer to that as well.

 

[nfnmcmd]

Thank you. I mean no disrespect to anyone. I love all for the pleasure of Allah.

 

[CosmicPathos]

Because you have eyes.

Because people are still developing themselves and coming towards Islam. Some are simply unaware and others are struggling to find their identity. However, we all grow at our own pace. As Muslims, we do not tease, mock, or look down upon them. Rather, we show them affection, compassion, and treat them like the humans that they are.

This attitude is a double edged sword.

While I do understand that humans need time to change habits, I understand it from biology and psychology, but at the same time there is no excuse for lax behavior. Once it becomes clear that certain actions are haraam, it becomes an obligation to stop doing them. Once it becomes known for example that alcohol is haraam, if a person keeps on indulging in it without any regret or without any effort on his part to reduce it, it is simple unacceptable. Same applies for bare necks and tight jeans and low hanging blouses.

 

[Beardo]

I am new Shahada. I am not judging anyone. I am just asking questions so I can learn.

No, no. I understood your question. I hope you didn't take it personally. The lawful and unlawful is quite evident in Islam. As we all learn, insha-Allah, our goal is to refrain from the doubtful as well. May Allah Ta'ala guide us all towards the straight path.

well said man! i should think like this more often. But i have a question, is it wrong to develop way too fast? i think i may have made that mistake a while back.

Honestly, I've been trying this for a couple weeks now, and Alhamdulillah, life is so much more beautiful this way, free from the worries of others. The ground was created to carry the burden, not our shoulders.

This attitude is a double edged sword.

While I do understand that humans need time to change habits, I understand it from biology and psychology, but at the same time there is no excuse for lax behavior. Once it becomes clear that certain actions are haraam, it becomes an obligation to stop doing them. Once it becomes known for example that alcohol is haraam, if a person keeps on indulging in it without any regret or without any effort on his part to reduce it, it is simple unacceptable. Same applies for bare necks and tight jeans and low hanging blouses.

And at this point in time, I'd like to recall this story:
"An old man sat to do his wudhu. But his wudhu was not correct. Hasan and Hussain the grandsons of the Prophet (S.A.W.), then two young boys, watched him. They immediately realized that the old man was not doing his wudhu correctly, but hesitated to tell him directly. Perhaps the old man would feel humiliated by two young boys, or he might even lose interest in the act of worship.

Sitting next to him, they started to do the wudhu and during the wudhu, Hasan said: "Oh Hussain my wudhu is correct and more perfect than yours."

In reply, Hussain insisted that his own wudhu was better than Hasan's.

Finally they said: "Let us refer to this gentleman. He is older than us and should be able to decide."

The old man was listening patiently. The boys performed their wudhu under his supervision, one after the other. And when they had finished, he realized the wudhu done by the boys was methodical and correct. It was his own wudhu which was incorrect. Turning to Hasan and Hussain, he gently said: "The wudhu done by you is correct. I am grateful that you chose to guide me in such a beautiful manner."

 

[CosmicPathos]

even though that story is beautiful and emotional, it in no way answers my concern. That story relates to how other ppl should educate, it does not say anything about self-analysis and self-criticism. The story addresses the second step of correcting/educating oneself, while I am talking about the first step: of realizing that the problem exists in the first place and of taking steps to correct it. The old man is clearly an elderly, not in position to be self-critical to a large extent, and indeed did need outsiders to correct him.

 

[ardianto]

Please explain why I see Sisters with tight clothing, bare necks, heavy makeup and smelling of perfume in Masjid?

Assalamualaikum.

If masjid caretakers prohibit those women dessing like that in masjid, they would not come to masjid, but go to other places like cafe, mall, cinemas, and they would far from Islam. But if those women are allowed to dress like that in masjid, they would come and gather with pious Muslims who can teach them about Islam.

Those who combine head cover and tight clothes are those who are in transition process to become a better Muslim women. If we treat them hardly like "Don't you know? haram to dressing like this !!", they will regard Islam as the hard religion that full of compulsion, and they will doubt to Islam. But if we realize they are in transition process and we guide them gently, slowly and softly, InshaAllah, they will dress properly.

My country, Indonesia, is a country that has largest number of Muslims. When I was young in 70's and 80's, women who wore hijab were very rare, even hijab was regarded as symbol of exremism. But started in 90's, many women started to wear hijab. Now, although many women still do not wear hijab, we can see hijabi in everywhere. Yes, many of them, especially youth, still combine head cover with tight clothes. But at least they are still better than those who do not cover their head. And they are still in transition process. Many of them later wear hijab properly.

If now many women in Indonesia wear hijab, it's because ulama never forced them to wear hijab. What ulama did just remind them and guide them gently, slowly, and softly.

we can not force someone to be good, what we can do is show the way toward the good.

 

[Jalal~]

Those who combine head cover and tight clothes are those who are in transition process to become a better Muslim women. If we treat them hardly like "Don't you know? haram to dressing like this !!", they will regard Islam as the hard religion that full of compulsion, and they will doubt to Islam. But if we realize they are in transition process and we guide them gently, slowly and softly, InshaAllah, they will dress properly.

Yes, patience is such a wonderful virtue.

The story addresses the second step of correcting/educating oneself, while I am talking about the first step: of realizing that the problem exists in the first place and of taking steps to correct it.

Sometimes, people just don't know its haram because of their culture or what their parents taught them. Now a days, parents worry more about getting a good education than religion. They usually say something along the lines of "Study hard now and practice religion when you get older". Its usually not their fault. But once they do realize the problem, then they eventually move on to the combination of hijab and tight clothing. If there is anyone who is going to fix the problem, its going to be the one who started it (i.e. the parents).
Parents need to get their priorities straight ;D

 

[Marina-Aisha]

yea i see it all the time i live in east london i see lots of sisters wearing lots makeup and tight jeans etc..i did also wonder why..i think some sisters think the hijaab is accessorie...wearing bright colours flashy pins..they want attention. all you can do is do what you think is right maybe they will follow ur example..